don't get close

"Tang Lun, are you in love with Kang Mingyu?"

"Gong Zhiyan, do you know what you are talking about?"

I stared at him with wide eyes and asked in disbelief.

This sentence of Zhiyan directly sent me to hell. I can't even believe that she said this sentence herself. What am I in her eyes?I feel that all the people I've known over the years are all figments of my imagination, and the perfect and understanding words are nothing compared to the person in front of me.

"Enough." After finishing speaking, Bai Liao pulled Gong Zhiyan to his side, "My Bai Liao's daughter, it's not her turn to be yelled at by others, you'd better not regret the decision you made today." After speaking recklessly, he struggled to forcefully take him away.

My whole body was empty, I lost my strength, and my heart was empty.

That's fine, I've tried everything possible to leave and stay with me, even the minimum physical needs can't be met, no matter how good the relationship is, there will be problems sooner or later.

In fact, I can accept her deception, her disguise, and her lies, but her words really hurt me too deeply. I thought she understood me. Now it seems that everything is just deceiving myself. ...

"Hey, what's the matter, kid?"

The dean and a few aunts rushed over and saw the mess in the house. I sat on the ground and cried bitterly. Maybe I was frightened!I rarely scare people like this...

"I'm fine." Wiping away the tears on my face, I stood up supporting my body that couldn't be added.

"Where are you going?" Seeing me walking out, the dean stopped my way, and asked with some concern.

"I think……"

Before I finished the following words, I felt dizzy, my whole body was not well, and then I couldn't remember anything. When I got up again, I saw the dean standing beside the bed with a solemn expression , looking terrified.

"Are you awake?"

I nodded.

To be honest, frequent fainting made me have to wonder if there was something wrong with my body. Since the last time I was hospitalized in the rain, my physical condition has not improved. How can a good person get dizzy when nothing happens!

"Although I am old, I can see that a lot of things have happened to you recently. Did you faint because of too much pressure? You child, just like when you were a child, you keep everything in your heart. Sooner or later Something will go wrong." The dean said to me earnestly.

I leaned on the head of the bed, some things I really just want to hide in my heart, but when there are too many backlogs in my heart, it is easy to explode. People who are considered strong are actually as fragile as porcelain, fragile.

Not only did I stay silent for a long time, but I still decided to tell the dean what happened during this period, I need a listener who can listen to me, I need to release all the things that are squeezed in my heart, I need to decompress .

"I don't know what's wrong with me recently. This month's experience has made me suffocate, lies and deceit, and pursuit. I feel that I am almost not myself..."

"Children, life is always full of uncertain factors. No one knows what will happen in the next second, who will meet, sometimes at the right time, at the right place, you may not meet the right person, Don’t always confine yourself in your own world, you need to get in touch with the outside world, you need to integrate into this society, it’s not as dark as you imagined, it brings back the unknown beauty, waiting for you to discover.

The same is true for feelings, whether it is the same sex or the opposite sex, whether you repel or yearn for it, as long as it appears and derives, don’t escape, it needs you to discover and experience, love is not discriminated against, no matter what the object of your love is Who, no matter what the outside world thinks, as long as you think that's what you need, it's worth everything.

Stop worrying about these problems that can be settled as you go, you will have problems sooner or later. "

I have listened too much to the dean’s principles, and there is no problem with her words. The real problem is me, because I am always escaping, escaping from reality, escaping from introversion. The world scares me, and human nature scares me.

That night I thought about it all night, maybe my inner demon is myself. If the inner demon is not eliminated, I will never be able to get out of the world I created. I need to break out of the shell like a silkworm cocoon in order to completely transform.

People and things from the past flashed through my mind over and over again, every moment, fragment and every picture seemed to be clearly in front of my eyes, those unbearable past events, the origin of my nightmares, my nameless struggle, separation Struggling to break free, frantically clearing up all the past.

I want to be the me at this moment, no longer the cowardly and timid Tang Lun who was afraid of reality, I want to be my own master, no matter what the future is, no matter what love is, I have to face it bravely instead of running away .

That night, I took advantage of the darkness and quietly left the Angel's House, stood outside and looked in, I really have too much nostalgia, too many relatives, too much reluctance here...

It's just that I didn't expect that she would follow...

Volume Two