Prisoner direction

"" Fu Guanping lay on the bed, and said after a while: "Don't make trouble, it's getting late, go to sleep."

"But I haven't said it yet." Wen Langxi whispered.

Fu Guan sighed softly and closed his eyes, "No need...the reason why I lie here is to accompany you, not to hear about your past, you know."

After these words, Wen Langxi didn't speak any more, and quietly turned his back to Fu Guan, as if falling asleep.

Just when Fu Guan thought that tonight was over, a hoarse voice broke the tranquility of the night, "My surname is Guo Yang, and my name is Yang Langxi."

Fu Guan opened his eyes, turned his head, looked at the back of the man's head, and said in a low voice, "I said, no need..."

"I want to tell you." Wen Langxi interrupted Fu Guan.

Then he added: "I want you to understand me."

After a pause, he asked softly, "Would you like to listen?"

Fu Guan moved his lips, but in the end he only said, "If you are willing to talk, I am willing to listen."

"Ah."

After a minute, Wen Langxi said again: "After returning to the orphanage from the police station, I stayed there for another year. I don't know who was the first to call me a murderer. In the end, those children always like to punish me. "

"All dead bugs were thrown into my quilt. They were childish, and I was not afraid of those things. Until I was 14 years old, I was taken away again."

After Wen Langxi finished speaking, he was silent for a long time, and then continued: "This time I went to a good family. Although they are not very rich, they care about me very much. It became difficult, my father’s business lost money, my mother got sick again, and I got poorer and poorer, but they still gave me the best.”

Hearing this, Fu Guan turned over and lay on his side, facing Wen Langxi's back, staring fixedly at the man's broad shoulders.

"Those two years were the most peaceful time in my life, without quarrels and violence. In April of that year, my 16th birthday, it rained heavily, and my father went to buy a cake by bicycle. I was waiting at home with my seriously ill mother. , but in the end...he was called to the hospital. Up to now, all I can remember is that his...sleeves were covered with cream, my mother cried for a long time, and fainted in the hospital, and then...no more wake up."

Hearing this, Fu Guan was shocked and speechless, his eyes were full of sympathy, and he wanted to reach out to touch his back, but because the distance was too far, he couldn't.

After a long time, Wen Langxi sighed tremblingly, and said hoarsely: "If they didn't adopt me, it must have been a different ending."

"I was the one who led them to hell step by step. I was the one who harmed them. Maybe I'm Death's minion. Help him take his life, the good and the bad. I can't resist him."

Fu Guan's eyes gradually blurred, and he tried his best to slow down his trembling breathing. Wen Langxi's self-cognition and self-image changed, or this change was only highlighted at this moment, and the beginning of the change was his 16-year-old Birthday.

"But I was still too selfish. I didn't want to stay in the social welfare institution, so I came here with my current parents. They let me go to the best school. Although I got good grades, I would always fight with my classmates, and I was too irritable. I want to be friends with my classmates, but I can't, and I hurt friends who are close to me all the time."

"Until the third year of high school, I suddenly felt very tired and wanted to give up. I didn't want to continue like this, so I took the initiative to drop out of school. But I didn't expect that my parents hired a psychological counselor for me the next day after returning home. Foreign experts were also invited, and finally diagnosed as borderline personality disorder."

"At that time, I was too tired and didn't want to talk to anyone after being diagnosed. No matter what those experts said, I couldn't open my mouth. My mouth was sealed and I lost the ability to speak."

Listening to this peaceful narration, Fu Guan's eyes became more and more moist. Why do some people in the same world and at the same age experience so much and experience pain that others can't imagine.

Unstable interpersonal relationships, irritable and irritable emotions, self-destructive patterns, distorted cognition, and fear of being abandoned, these are killing Wen Langxi's soul and eating away at his body all the time.

"But a year after being diagnosed, I met you."

"The first second I saw you, I wanted to get close to you."

"The second I saw you, I wanted to have you."

"The third second I saw you, I wanted to live with you."

At this moment, words could no longer describe Fu Guan's mood. He never expected that he would hold such a heavy weight in this person's heart.

"I smoked that kind of cigarettes because when I was still surnamed Yang, I asked my father a question about how much he smoked. He smiled, put the remaining cigarettes in his pocket, and said yes to me. 100 yuan."

"At that time, I happily applauded him and praised him for being great. But until last year, I missed him so much that day and wanted to buy cigarettes exactly like him and smell his breath, but I ran all over the mall and found nothing. Only later did I realize that it was a cigarette that could only be seen in small shops."

Fu Guan couldn't hold back, and a tear fell on the pillow. He couldn't imagine how Wen Langxi felt when he knew that his favorite father smoked that kind of cigarette.

Time was flowing in silence, Fu Guan didn't know how to comfort him, the word comfort was too empty and light for Wen Langxi.

"Don't pity me, don't pity me... just like me slowly."

……

The next morning, Fu Guan opened his eyes in a daze. He slept too late last night and was a little dizzy. Only when he saw the sheets did he realize that this was Wen Langxi's bed.

Turning around immediately, the side of the bed was empty, and the man had already gotten up.

Fu Guan let out a breath, looked at the black ceiling, and unconsciously remembered those words from last night in his mind.

Last night, Wen Langxi fell asleep after talking on his own. He didn't know if he was really asleep or pretended to be asleep. Anyway, the man was lying on the bed, and he didn't move or turn over after that.

After Fu Guan folded the quilt neatly, he went back to his room to wash, and went downstairs after tidying up.

Walking towards the kitchen, I saw a table of food, which was Wen Langxi's breakfast.

And Wen Langxi sat on the chair by the dining table, looking at the food on the table expressionlessly.

It wasn't until he sensed Fu Guan that he turned his head, twitched the corners of his mouth slightly, and said, "Come and eat, Brother Fu, try to see if it suits your appetite."

When Fu Guan saw this person, his heart beat faster, "Good morning." After speaking, he smelled the food nearby, "It smells so good, I like it."

Wen Langxi smiled lightly, and when Fu Guan sat down, his face gradually became serious.

Fu Guan noticed this change in expression, and knew that this person had something to say, so he didn't move his chopsticks, and looked at each other face to face with Wen Langxi.

Wen Langxi was silent for a long while before whispering: "I'm sorry last night, I shouldn't have locked the door and forced you to stay with me overnight."

This person was confessing to himself, Fu Guan's eyes became more gentle, and he said softly, "It's okay, when you don't want to be alone in the future, you can come to me, or let me come to you, it doesn't matter."

This was a decision that Fu Guan thought of very late yesterday. He wanted to treat Wen Langxi well.

Now whether it's sympathy or liking, he just wants to follow his heart.

Enlighten him when necessary, just be this person's friend on weekdays, no longer deliberately observe and analyze his condition, and no longer approach him with a purpose.

He is ready to treat him with sincerity.

In the future, he will not want to enter the job directly. He wants to continue to improve his professional quality, study for a master's and doctor's degree, and then enter the job when he is qualified to become a professional psychiatrist.

But before improving, he wants to accompany this person for a year. He believes in his father's ability, and he can see results in one year.

By then, Wen Langxi's condition will definitely be much better than now, and then he will be able to concentrate on his studies.

Now all his thoughts are on Wen Langxi, and he only wants to see this person get better as soon as possible. This is his deepest obsession at this stage.

……

Soon, it was the day when Fu Huasheng came to Wen's house. The two talked in the study for two hours. It was already six o'clock in the afternoon. Because Fu Huasheng had an academic exchange meeting to attend later, he didn't stay any longer.

Fu Huasheng stopped Fu Guan before leaving, took Fu Guan to his car, and looked at Fu Guan without saying a word, with a hidden smile in his eyes.

Fu Guan looked a little uncomfortable, and couldn't help but ask, "Dad, what's wrong?"

Fu Huasheng looked at Fu Guan's expression and smiled, "Guan, does that kid like you?"

Fu Guan's beating speeded up again, his fingers were curled up in his sleeves, but his face was calm, and he said indifferently: "Well, I get along well with him."

"Really, do you think his condition is serious?"

Fu Guan paused before saying, "It's quite serious."

"It's serious, so has he hated you recently?"

Fu Guan pursed his lips and said, "It was just three days ago, but only this time."

Fu Huasheng nodded, thought for a while, put away the teasing expression just now, and became more serious, "Don't take this to heart, I was once hated by a patient to the point of roughing me, but I found that Wen Langxi His attitude towards you should be controlled as much as possible, otherwise with his current condition, he would have to quarrel with you three times during this period."

After a pause, he continued: "But there is a question, have you ever seen him self-harm? Or self-destruction?"

Hearing this, Fu Guan immediately frowned, "I haven't seen it before."

Fu Huasheng looked at the room where Wen Langxi was, and said, "You should pay attention next time, he must have some way of venting. In such an environment, he only got angry once after being with you for so many days, that's enough to show that He vented part of his anger on himself, understand what I mean."

Fu Guan was a little dazed, and nodded after a while.

Fu Huasheng continued: "According to my experience, the self-venting of patients generally includes knife wounds, burns, strangulation, bruises, hunger strikes, destructive staying up late, unsafe sex, etc. Most of the wounds are distributed in parts that can be covered by clothes. , such as arms, chest, legs, feet, etc., you can try to pay attention to these parts."

It's not that Fu Guan never thought about Wen Langxi's suicide, but the two of them were together every day, and even slept together at night, and they didn't notice anything unusual, except...

"Dad, what about smoking?"

"It's not easy to judge. Some ordinary people also use smoking to vent their distress. Therefore, smoking is not strong enough to relieve the emotions of BPD patients, unless he has other more violent methods, um... Like burning yourself with a cigarette butt."