over dependent

Jin Rong was still weak and needed more rest, so Song Nianyuan coaxed him to sleep, but it was still difficult to fall asleep, and he couldn't fall asleep for a long time.He didn't want Song Nianyuan to be impatient, and then he simply pretended to be asleep, closing his eyes and letting go.

The doctor wanted to talk to them, so he didn't dare to go far, and only whispered outside the ward.Jin Rong's ears are very good, and he can hear the conversation outside clearly through the door.

"The child's mental state is very poor now. In fact, I still suggest that you take him for a checkup."

"What do you mean? Poor mental state? My son is not crazy!"

"Shiyuan, listen to the doctor."

"I understand your feelings. Now that the child has committed suicide, I think he is in a bad state. I suggest you go and check to see if he has depression. If not, everyone will be happy. If there is If so, you should take good care of it.”

"Depression? How could he have depression! He can still fall in love, and he still knows how to piss me off...how could he have depression?"

"Depression has nothing to do with falling in love. Your parents are usually busy with work, and you don't even notice when your child is sick. If you think that there is no disease in your body, it is not considered a disease! In case he commits suicide again, the parents should It’s good to stay close. Don’t put things around him that can hurt him, not even plastic bags. Let him maintain a stable mood first.”

The door of the ward was pushed open, and Jin Shiyuan looked outside, not daring to go in.

"I'll come, you go back first."

Song Nianyuan closed the door. Seeing that Jin Rong had opened his eyes, he asked softly, "Can't sleep? Or are you awake?"

"Am I crazy?" Jin Rong asked.

Song Nianyuan sat in front of him, lifted the hair on his forehead to cool down, and explained kindly: "No."

"Is it because I'm crazy that they don't love me?"

"You're not crazy, and they don't love you."

Jin Rong felt pain in his wrist, everywhere.He wanted to cry again, and the tears flowed out.

"I will discuss it with your mother. If it is really found to be depression, then you can follow me to Beijing. What do you think?"

"Will she follow me when I go to Beijing?" Jin Rong was terrified, "I don't want to see her again. She is already pregnant, and when her child is born, no one really cares about me. I don't want to Alone, can you go with her without her?"

Song Nianyuan's eyes were red. He hugged Jin Rong tightly, comforted his back, and said softly: "I won't take her, we won't take her. The two of us are going to Beijing. I'll take you to eat roast duck and delicious food. Go to the Forbidden City, go to the Great Wall, okay?"

Jin Rong cried and said "yes" without thinking.He wished so much that someone would take him away. Death couldn't take him away. Could Dad take him away, take him to a place where no one was there, and never come back.

Just being reluctant to part with Jiang Yi, Jin Rong thought of Jiang Yi and wanted to cry sadly.It's all his fault. If he didn't provoke Jiang Yi and stayed away from him, then it wouldn't be like this.

Blame him.

Now that he is gone, Jiang Yi can live a good life, right?Jiang Yi can be his No.1 with peace of mind again, no one bothers him, no one calls him in the middle of the night asking for a hug, never again.

When Jin Rong let Jiang Yi go, he also let go of himself.

The results of Jin Rong's examination also came out, and it was indeed depression, with a certain degree of mania.Previously, Jin Shiyuan had countless reasons for wanting to keep Jin Rong, but after seeing the inspection report, she had nothing to say.

"There are good doctors in Beijing, I will take him to see a doctor." Song Nianyuan promised, "He is my child, I will not let him go, please believe me."

Jin Shiyuan was going to talk to him about those past events again, and she couldn't explain clearly because Jin Rong was by the side.Thinking of Jin Rong's haggard appearance, Jin Shiyuan had no choice but to let go: "Can it be cured? This disease."

"Do what I can."

At night, Jin Shiyuan quietly pushed open the door of Jin Rong's ward. It was very dark inside, and only a little figure of Jin Rong could be seen.She suddenly realized that Jin Rong was so thin that he only needed to cover him with the quilt.

When did Jin Rong start to get sick?Did it start when he didn't like to eat, because he was always in a daze in front of the piano?He begged Jin Shiyuan several times to break up with Fang Yizhe, if it was his signal for help.

Jin Rong fell in love because that person could give him a sense of security and give him a chance to breathe, but Jin Shiyuan still forced him to break up.Is it really me who made him become such a person?

But Jin Shiyuan didn't understand why he had to find a man if he wanted to fall in love.

"Shh." Fang Yizhe pulled her out and gently closed the door.He also blamed himself. There were too many news these days, which made him overwhelmed.

He looked at Jin Shiyuan's belly, stroked it a few times, and said solemnly: "I will marry you, you wait for me. Let's give birth to this child together."

"Song Nianyuan is back." Jin Shiyuan burst into tears, "Will he blame me for killing the child? But he doesn't want mine yet...Jin Rong has become like this, I..."

Fang Yizhe hugged her, his mind was in chaos.

"Blame me, Jin Rong hates me because I failed to give you a future. I will take care of my affairs here, and then everyone will be happy."

"Can it be consummated?"

Jin Rong in the ward opened his eyes, but the thin curtains couldn't cover the light. He could see the big trees shaking outside the window, and the moonlight was cold, all scattered on the ground.

He couldn't sleep, but those words still stuck in his ears.

Jin Shiyuan will marry Fang Yizhe, and they will have a child who will live in a healthy family.So he was the only one who was injured, and he was the only one who was irreparable.

Jin Rong felt that he was really like a failed handicraft. It was rotten and unsightly. He could make a new one to replace him.But who would have thought, what should he do?He can't go back to the stove and rebuild, everything has become like this, what else can he do?

no solution anymore.

Jin Rong's tears dripped on the pillow, he didn't dare to make a sound, bit his lip and cried for a long time, crying and crying, he gradually fell into a shallow sleep.

I didn't dream, and I didn't hear Xi Xiaoxie.

Jin Rong was about to go to Beijing. Before leaving, he and Song Nianyuan had to go to the school to go through the transfer procedures.

His student status can't be transferred casually, he can only keep it first, and Jin Rong didn't bother with the details, it was all arranged by Song Nianyuan for him.

When he first entered the school, Jin Rong stopped subconsciously. He thought that there would be a female voice calling him "morning" in the distance, but it was not morning, and no one was standing there calling him.Jin Rong felt isolated from the world. He followed Song Nianyuan with his fisherman's hat pulled down very low, half revealing his eyes; he wore a black mask that completely covered him, making it hard to tell.

Jin Rong and Song Nianyuan went to the Academic Affairs Office to go through the formalities, and people outside came to watch, and the news spread.

Someone said: "Because Jin Rong's family knew that he was gay, so they came to transfer him to another school."

Another said: "I heard that Jin Rong is sick, so I have to transfer schools."

All these words reached Jiang Yi's ears. Jiang Yi was already in a low mood. It's okay not to mention Jin Rong, but when he was mentioned, he would cry like a child.Now that he was back, Jiang Yi didn't care about those nonsense, and went directly to the Academic Affairs Office.

He stood at the door, looked in, and indeed saw Jin Rong.He hadn't seen Jin Rong for a long time, as long as ages, many centuries.Jin Rong covered him so tightly that Jiang Yi couldn't see his face, wondering if he was as ill as rumored.

Jiang Yi hid in the dark and watched him. Because Jiang Chengtian wanted to confirm his identity, Jin Rong took off his hat and mask, revealing his black hair, fluffy and messy.

He didn't turn his head, and Jiang Yi couldn't see his face.

"Okay, take a good rest. I'll see you during the college entrance examination."

Jin Rong's student status is still here, and he has to come back for the college entrance examination in the future.

"Okay, thank you, Teacher." Song Nianyuan led him, saw that he was silent, and poked, "Thank you, Teacher Jiang?"

"Teacher Jiang?" Jin Rong reacted.The teacher in front of him is Jiang Chengtian, Jiang Yi's father.There is still Jiang Yi's photo on Jiang Chengtian's desk, so he has to look at it a few more times.

"Thank you, Teacher Jiang." Jin Rong bowed, "Thank you for taking care of me over the past few years."

"It's all right."

Jin Rong thought for a long time, and said, "Teacher, can you keep this secret for me? Don't tell anyone about my illness, especially Jiang Yi."

Jiang Chengtian was stunned for a moment: "Okay. You and Jiang Yi had a good time. If you don't come to school for a few days, he will also be sad. You need to contact him more in the future. He is stupid. He is very sad to have friends who don't talk to him."

"Yes." Jin Rong bowed again, "I'm sorry!"

"I'm sorry for what you said." Jiang Chengtian patted him on the shoulder, "The young man is very nice, he is also a good person, he looks good, and he studies well. In the future, he will study hard and study mathematics more. If he doesn't know, he will call Jiang Yi. He can't teach you, I'll teach you."

Jin Rong wanted to cry again, he pointed to the photo frame on Jiang Chengtian's desk, and said embarrassedly: "Teacher, you... can you give me this photo frame?"

Jiang Chengtian was surprised, but he didn't say no: "Why do you want this? This is a photo of Jiang Yi when he was in junior high school. I'll just ask him to send you some new ones later."

Jin Rong doesn't want it, he wants this one.He told Jiang Chengtian thousands of times, don't tell anything, don't talk about illness, don't talk about photos, but keep the secret for him.Jiang Chengtian sighed, sent him to the corridor, and sent him a last sentence: "Bon voyage, Xiao Jin!"

"Thank you, teacher."

Jin Rong turned around and saw Jiang Yi watching him from afar.

About ten meters away, looking at each other from a distance, there are thousands of thoughts in the eyes that cannot be expressed.Jiang Yi looked haggard, his eyes were always red, and he seemed to have a stubble, and he was not as energetic as before.Jin Rong wanted to call him, but there was no reason, they had already broken up, and one more thing would be better than one less thing.

It's good not to be nostalgic, the long-term pain is not as good as the short-term pain, and it's more difficult to say goodbye.

Just when he turned around and wanted to leave, Jiang Yi suddenly called him: "Rongrong."

The sound of "Rongrong" directly brought Jin Rong's tears out.He didn't dare to look back, nor did he dare to raise his hand to wipe away his tears. He could only stand where he was and respond silently.

"You two have a chat," Song Nianyuan said, "I'll wait for you outside."

Jiang Yi walked slowly behind him, not daring to reach out to hug him, not daring to touch him, not daring to do anything.He could only tremble and ask, "Are you leaving?"

"Yeah." Jin Rong said lightly.

"Where are you going?"

"Go..." Jin Rong didn't say anything, "I don't know where to go."

"Will you come back?"

"do not know."

Jiang Yi murmured, "You have to take care of yourself, don't catch a cold, don't skip meals, don't skip sleep."

"Ah."

"I……"

"Let's not see each other again," Jin Rong said calmly, "Anyway, we probably won't see each other again in the future."

Jiang Yi has nothing to say.It took him a long time to show a look of astonishment, and he smiled helplessly: "Yeah."

Jin Rong stepped forward, and Jiang Yi just stared at his back from behind.

Against the light, it is almost impossible to see clearly, and it is impossible to tell whether it is "going far" or "approaching".His shadow faded into the sun, turned around and went out the door, never to be seen again.

Still a little dazed, always thinking that he will come back, or softly acting like a baby, asking him "do you love me or not".

Jiang Yi still doesn't believe it, he doesn't believe it anyway.He ran all the way outside the building. Jin Rong and Song Nianyuan were about to leave the school gate. It was only a few hundred meters away, but it was as far away as a galaxy.

He tried his best to look at Jin Rong's back, tried his best to remember, and wanted to freeze this moment.

Let's go, just go.Jiang Yi couldn't catch his last shadow, and she shed tears because he didn't dare to blink.

Jiang Yi started to cry, and he wiped his tears with his sleeve, but he didn't have the courage to run to the school gate again.

Jin Rong's back completely disappeared, and he couldn't see it at all...Jiang Yi's heart also disappeared, and a piece was dug out, bloody and painful.

It hurts... Jiang Yi couldn't breathe from the pain, his legs and feet were all limp.

He is like dead.

"I think Jiang Yi is happy every day."

"I hope Jiang Yi is happy every day! Take me to be happy too."

"I hope everyone treats Jin Rong well!"

……

Making a wish to the mountain god will not come true, Jiang Yi can't be happy every day, and neither can Jin Rong.

His wish flew away with a gust of wind, the wind would not turn back, and neither did his favorite.

The author says:

Mountain God: It must come true for me! !

Boyhood is over, my family~