over dependent

It rained a little the next day, the plane was delayed, and the airport hall was full of people.Jin Rong rested his pillow on Jiang Yi's shoulder in a daze.He wanted to sleep for a while, but he had to leave, so he didn't dare to sleep any longer, and he held Jiang Yi's hand all the time, and he felt bad for missing a second.

It's not life and death, but Jin Rong is very sad, depressed in his heart, and can't come out.He was relieved several times, then fidgeted again, and finally blurted out completely unconsciously: "Mr. Jiang, do you love me?"

Like when he was young, he had to ask every day, and Jiang Yi took the trouble to answer every time: "Love."

In a daze, they all seemed to have returned to the past. No one mentioned the five-year gap, and no one refuted it.

Jiang Yi touched his face with the back of his hand and said, "Love."

Jin Rong rushed to hug him, with tears bursting into the bank: "I'm sorry, Jiang Yi. I'm actually a very irresponsible person, unlike you, you are so firm. When I come back, I will confess to you that I have nothing Forgive me for hiding it from you, okay?"

"Okay." Jiang Yi didn't know what he was hiding from himself, maybe it was the two scars on his wrist that looked like cut wrists, or maybe it was the real reason for him to break up.

Jiang Yi seemed to be able to guess, but he didn't dare to guess.He wanted to hear Jin Rong explain himself, and talk about those things back then.

It was about to board the plane, Jin Rong said goodbye to Jiang Yi reluctantly, he shuttled through the huge waiting hall, passed all the crowds, and saw Jiang Yi at a glance when he turned his head.He waved his arms to say goodbye to Jiang Yi, with tears welling up in his eyes.

When he comes back, he will tell Jiang Yi that he is actually a patient, and he has suffered from severe depression.If Jiang Yi can accept it, then he will have no regrets in this life.

He doesn't completely depend on Jiang Yi to take care of him, as long as he can be by his side, he can learn to be independent.

On the plane, he opened the memo he had written for five years, venting, suicide note, and painful memories one after another.He opened the letter to Jiang Yide, and he wrote: I am a useless person, I have been with you for so long, I wonder if I have ever made you happy.But every day with you, I am very happy.I chose not to be happy, blame me if you want to.

The first thing Jin Rong did when he got off the plane was to tell Jiang Yi that he would tell Jiang Yi everything he did.He said that the weather in Singapore was fine, but it was short of food.Jiang Yi asked: "What's the difference?"

"You're still missing."

Jiang Yi laughed out loud on the other end of the phone: "Then I'll fly to Singapore to find you right away, okay?"

"Really?" Jin Rong became serious, "Will it really come?"

"I lied to you." Jiang Yi said in time, "I can't go this time. Next time you have a competition, I will come."

Jin Rong said with satisfaction: "Okay, then next time."

He lay in a daze on the hotel bed, looking at the ceiling, listening to Jiang Yi muttering, complaining, or singing while writing a thesis.Jiang Yi sang like a mosquito, buzzing and out of tune.

But Jin Rong liked to listen very much, and he was sleepy halfway through hearing it, so he yawned and asked him, "When do you go to sleep?"

Jiang Yi hasn't finished his task today, so he answered casually: "It's very late, I'll put you to sleep first."

He couldn't be distracted from the story, so he had to sing a lullaby, and he didn't realize it until halfway through: "Why should I put you to sleep?"

"Because I'm your boyfriend." Jin Rong said sleepily.

"That's not it." Jiang Yi said so, but continued to sing.There was no more sound over there, so she quietly asked, "Did you sleep?"

Jin Rong snorted: "I didn't sleep, I only sleep if you admit that it's my boyfriend."

"Hurry up and go to sleep, people in their twenties are still acting like a baby, and they know to lie to me every day."

Jin Rong laughed, and after a while, he said, "I love you so much, do you love me?"

"Is this answer so important?"

"Of course there is."

Jiang Yi sighed helplessly: "I'll tell you when you come back."

Jin Rong smiled with satisfaction: "I say I love you five hundred times every day, I love you every day."

The competition lasted for half a month, and when everything ended, it was already the last day of October.

A few days ago, Fang Zhuojian sent him a message, saying that Jin Shiyuan and Fang Yizhe were going to hold a wedding in mid-November, and if possible, he still hoped that he would come.

Jin Rong packed all his luggage and sat in front of the window in a daze.The scenery in Singapore is still different from that in China. Although it is a moon, it seems that if you look at it from a different direction, the moon will be different.

Lu Cong is white tonight, and the moon is bright in my hometown.He didn't notice it when he was busy a few days ago, but now he realizes it belatedly.

After thinking about it for a long time, Jin Rong still bought a direct ticket to N City.He is going to remove the account.

Jin Shiyuan was getting married, even though Song Nianyuan had said "don't worry about it" countless times, he still went.

His mother is getting married.It's unbelievable to say that this is Jin Shiyuan's first marriage.Fang Yizhe said he would hold a wedding for her, and now he really did it.

But there is some irony, Jin Rong finds it ironic.If he was still by Jin Shiyuan's side, would he be a flower boy?Or, be the best man?Jin Rong didn't think about it, and didn't dare to think about it.

It was afternoon when I returned to N City, the second day of November.Get off the expressway from the airport and go all the way to the urban area. The more you get to the city center, the more you can see the golden sycamore leaves on the roadside, floating down, and scattered all over the ground.Pedestrians on electric vehicles passed by, and the wheels rolled over, and the leaves fluttered.

The cake shop at the entrance of No. [-] Middle School is still there, and a batch of honey cakes have just been baked. Jin Rong asked about the fragrance from a distance, and his heart was touched.

Jin Rong hasn't been back for a long time. He has forgotten when the leaves of the sycamore trees turn yellow, and he also forgot that the trees planted all the way in his community have fallen leaves.He stored his luggage at the hotel, and went to his previous home without much stopover.

Maybe Jin Shiyuan doesn't live here anymore, but Fang Yizhe bought this house for her, and Jin Rong is not sure if she still keeps it.

The key was still on him, and he was clutching it in his hand, gradually breaking out in sweat.

Jin Rong inserted the key into the hole, turned it open, and the heavy door pressed over, revealing the inside of the room.

The furnishings are still the same as they were back then, and the doors are all open, very bright.He saw that the sofa in the living room was still the original sofa, which was older than before; the coffee table hadn't been changed, and there were new cups on it. Jin Rong smashed a few of the set back then, so they were all replaced.There are new toys under the coffee table, Barbie dolls, lying under the quilt, as if sleeping.

There was no one at home, so Jin Rong closed the door and went in, wanting to take off his shoes as a habit, but there were no suitable slippers to change.Simply do not change.

He walked from the living room to his own room, and as soon as he entered the door, he saw the piano, Steinway's, covered by the piano cloth, it seemed that it hadn't been touched for a long time, and even the piano cloth was covered with dust.He looked around the whole room, the bed was still the same bed, but it was empty, without sheets; there were still many music scores on the bookshelf, which he used back then.There are also the papers he has done before and the books he has finished studying, all of which are placed on the shelf intact.

There is no dust on the bookshelf, it is clean, it should be cleaned frequently.

He took out a sheet music, flipped through it casually, and found the song "Shandandan Blooming Red and Brilliant".His fingertips touched each note, and it all jumped into his mind, from the introduction to the theme to the recapitulation to the coda.

He also saw a new photo frame on the bookshelf. It was a photo of Jin Rong playing the piano when he was a child. It was probably his first time participating in a piano competition, wearing a crooked bow tie.

In the lower right corner is written: No.1.

Jin Rong hasn't lived in this room for six years, and since he found out that Jin Shiyuan and Fang Yizhe polluted his room, he never came back.When I come back now, I still feel sick, but not as strong as before.

He walked to the piano, removed the thick cloth, and the very beautiful Steinway came into view.This piano is more than 100 million, and Fang Yizhe didn't even blink his eyes when he bought it.Now that the piano is no longer in use, Jin Rong randomly played the C major scale with his right hand, and the sound was already inaccurate.

When Jin Rong sat in front of the piano, he thought of the song Jin Shiyuan often listened to, "Angkor Wat".I don't know if she will listen now, she has changed her identity, not a third party, but a wife.

The wife won't listen to "Angkor Wat", and she probably won't listen to it anymore.

Jin Rong still had that melody in his memory, with the fancy arpeggios and chords in his left hand, so he played it.

There is no human voice, only the sound of the piano, which is a little bit bitter and sour, and it is an understatement to bring those things that have happened for more than ten years.

Jin Rong couldn't understand Jin Shiyuan's feelings, he had never been a mistress.Jin Shiyuan probably couldn't understand his emotions either.They don't know each other very well, but they know each other very well.

When he was halfway through playing, he heard someone open the door, and he also felt someone standing by the door watching him.

From the mirror of the piano, he saw Jin Shiyuan's expression, surprise, disbelief, longing, sadness, and many more.She was holding a little girl by her hand, wearing a white princess dress with two braids and a beautiful bow.

"I shouldn't abuse my name and be tempted by you to add another name. My identity is far away and my memory is deep, and the floating dust dripped into the Juewu Temple. Looking at the flowers in the fog, nothing happened."

"Forgive you for being too rational, you have to keep secrets when you are with me; forgive me for being too wild, and think about this relationship more deeply."

Jin Shiyuan hummed softly to the sound of the piano, and before she knew it, a tear flowed down, accompanied by her hazy eyes.

"Mom..." The little girl took her hand ignorantly.

She and Jin Rong have not seen each other for five years, five years, more than 800 days, countless minutes and seconds.In the few months he just left, Jin Shiyuan couldn't sleep at night.Whenever she walked to the sofa in the living room, she would think of a mess of vomit and the glaring blood on Jin Rong's wrist.She can still think of Jin Rong's hoarse voice, "Why should I bear everything", "Why are you doing this to me".

Jin Shiyuan had never seen Jin Rong like that before, his eyes were red, his voice was hoarse, and tears were dripping down endlessly.

But Jin Rong now is not the Jin Rong that day.

There is an illusion like yesterday, Jin Rong has never left her, and there has never been any conflict between them.He was always there and listened to him obediently. He never got sick or quarreled.

"Xiao Rong..." she called him like this.

Jin Rong is still playing the piano.

The author says:

In the end, there are still some unresolved issues.Rest tomorrow, the ending is still changing haha, sorry~