all i want is a man

In the corner of the double bed, the man was trembling and sobbing softly. Although the quilt covered him tightly, it was still very clear in the black silence.

Silently, she hugged this man tightly, wishing to pass on all her heat to him.The man poked his head out, and Xia Xuechen was scalded by his eyes.

This man is called Xiao Chuan.He cried, in Xia Xuechen's arms.In the darkness, the tame little beast gently comforted the giant dragon.

One was bedridden all day long, and the other was depressed. Xia Xuechen became the pillar of this family.

Pumpkin red date soup, red date black rice porridge, peanut lily tremella soup, stir-fried yam slices, cabbage stewed tofu, soy milk stewed assortment, he carefully tried various dishes for nourishing Qi and calming the nerves.

"Auntie, this is pumpkin and red date soup, drink more." Softly comforted.

"Xue Chen, thanks to you these days. In fact, you don't have to be so tired. Auntie just wants to sleep and be alone." Xiao Ping's words were as calm as before, but there was a hint of chill.

"Auntie, rest well." A soft voice flashed out.

That guy hadn't spoken to Xia Xuechen for several days, and stayed in his room from dawn to dawn.

Maybe, I really should go.This home has never belonged to me.Xia Xuechen's heart was so bitter that it was hard to speak.

The guy doesn't know when it's going to be okay.He has never been a quiet person.It's always good to be quiet, time will heal everything.Prepare your last meal and go.Thinking so, Xia Xuechen entered the kitchen.

When I was in Y University, Xiao Chuan always said that the local delicacies in my hometown are so delicious, Xia Xuechen refused to accept it, and every time I said to cook it for him, but it always failed to come true. wishes.

Peel the eggplant and potatoes separately, cut into hob pieces, cut the green pepper into small pieces, and cut the garlic into foam.Thinking of the heart method that Xia Xue had taught many times, Xia Xuechen took every step and concentrated on it.

Do you really want to leave like this?Really want to leave him?Are you really going to miss him for a month?Do you really want to bear the pain of being separated?Didn't you agree to go on together and never separate?Didn't you say that even if you die, you have to take yourself with you?Thinking of Xiao Chuan, Xia Xuechen felt a dull pain in his heart. Although this kind of pain had long been a habit, every time it happened, it was always unforgettable.

Confused, the kitchen knife in his hand lost his sense of proportion, and he cut off half of the nail on his left thumb, and there was a trickle of red on the cutting board.

"Ah!" With ten fingers connected to the heart, he gasped for a few breaths, but the pain still persisted, and he couldn't help shouting in a low voice, his right hand tightly curled up to wrap the injured finger.The cold water was flushed again and again, but the blood still didn't stop.As a last resort, I could only rummage carefully in the living room for things like Band-Aids or gauze.

If it was in the past, that guy would definitely bandage himself with ease, and then make a bang on the bandaged place, and then stop when he sees himself gasping for pain, and stares at himself with eyes that see if you dare to show it. alert.

Thinking about Xiao Chuan's past, seeing the blood overflowing from his hands, Xia Xuechen raised her small mouth in anger, and let down big, big crystal clear teardrops.

"Oops!" When pushing the drawer, the bleeding finger was mercilessly squeezed by the old-fashioned swollen drawer, and the injury was compounded.

"What are you doing?" Before Xia Xuechen could reply, Xiao Chuan had already moved to his side.

"Come here." He hugged Xia Xuechen in front of him.

"I..." Facing Shang Xiao Chuan's frightened and slightly angry eyes, he hesitated to speak.

"Be good and don't move." After giving the order, Xia Xuechen waited anxiously.

"Come here." Xiao Chuan patted his leg, and Xia Xuechen sat on Xiao Chuan's lap obediently.

The familiar smell, the familiar body, the familiar posture, even the cotton swabs and gauze became familiar.

"Boom!" A reminder that the bandaging is complete.

"Shhh—" taking a breath, he met Shang Xiao Chuan's familiar warning eyes, got up and wanted to leave, but was pulled back.

"Where are you going?" An unhappy tone.

"Cooking, there are blood stains on the cutting board. I'm cooking three delicacies today." He lowered his head and answered, afraid of meeting Xiao Chuan's eyes, afraid of taking another look

Eyes, will not bear to leave.

"Xiaochen?" This was the first time Xiao Chuan called Xia Xuechen after Kang Yun's accident.

"Huh?" He whispered softly like a frightened deer.

Lowering her head, Xia Xuechen felt that Xiao Chuan's breath was getting closer and closer. Gradually, Xiao Chuan's unique smell filled the air, and her mind went blank, hypnotized.

Gentle kiss, heavy breathing, familiar body, passionate caress.

Tonight and Hexi, the two of them were so in love that they completely forgot the time, where they were, and everything in the world.

Lips parted, panting and opening eyes, the two saw a pale face not far from the door of the bedroom.

"A...Auntie?" Xia Xuechen's weak voice trembled violently, and her whole body unconsciously fell into Xiao Chuan's body.

"Mom." Xiao Chuan hugged Xia Xuechen with one hand, and stretched out the other hand to block Xia Xuechen.

"You... you guys?" Xiao Ping, who has always been dignified and generous, rushed over to beat Xiao Chuan and Xia Xuechen fiercely with one kick, and then collapsed on the ground, gasping for breath. , It took a long time to slow down, "This is fate", "Bang", her head hit the brown solid wood floor heavily.

Xiao Ping was lying on the hospital bed, unconscious, Xia Xuechen and Xiao Chuan took turns guarding beside him.

Seeing Xiao Ping in front of his eyes, he was still lethargic.Xiao Chuan had never been so afraid.No one can endure the pain of losing a loved one.It was also at this time that Xiao Chuan realized the torture Xia Xuechen chose to separate from himself after losing Lin Yuan and Xia Xue.

No one can love me when all thoughts are lost.

On the fifth day, Xiao Ping woke up.

"Mom! Mom! Mom!" Xiao Chuan shouted excitedly, shouted, and kissed. He was afraid of losing this opportunity, so even if he shouted one more time, his heart was full of happiness.

"Xiao Chuan..." Xiao Ping turned his cloudy eyes, the corners of his lips moved slightly, and his voice was inaudible.His complexion softened slightly.

"Mom, I'll serve you porridge right now." Wiping away the snot and tears with one hand, he frantically prepared the dishes with the other.

"Where's Xuechen?" Xiao Ping looked around.

Xiao Chuan paused, and continued to scoop the yellow rice porridge into the porcelain bowl one by one.

"He's gone to buy your favorite dragon fruit." Carefully replied, the spoon kept stirring the porridge in the bowl.

Xiao Chuan put a pillow on Xiao Ping's back and started to feed Xiao Ping.

"Mom, did you feed me like this when I was a child?" Blowing the porridge in the ladle and sending it to Xiao Ping's mouth.

"Otherwise? The child is too big to stay." He took a sip of the porridge, with a helpless tone.

"Mom, I'm sorry." She lowered her head, her eye sockets were wet, and she refused to lift it no matter what.

"Silly child, you are mother's child, and mother will always love you. Mother is willing to endure hardships and work hard for you. Every mother in the world will do this." Eating porridge, I recovered some strength.

"Mom, I don't like girls." Officially came out.

"How could Mom not know? Although Mom is not an advanced woman, she is not outdated. The photos of you and Xuechen have been uploaded on the Internet. Although, there are only half of your face. But, you are Mom's child, how could I not?" Do you know each other? You never brought your classmates home all these years. As soon as Xuechen got home, I recognized him as another person in the photo, and when he talked to you, his face turned red unconsciously. Mom even For sure. Last winter vacation, you were busy talking on the phone with him every day. You were happy when you were on the phone, but you felt lost when you hung up the phone. Or you just stared at the phone in a daze. Isn’t this lovesickness? What is it? Your body is so good , and has no defects, but ignores girls, mother has been suspicious for a long time. Silly children, you are not wrong. But, you must know, every mother hopes for the well-being of her children. Although mother knows that you are not Wrong, but if you really see it, you will still be unbearable. It’s like death. Everyone knows that death is inevitable, but they are all afraid and taboo about death. Therefore, there is the theory of ghosts. When people say ghosts, they are nothing more than In order to emphasize that they are human beings, they are orthodox in the world. People say gays, but also to emphasize that they like the opposite sex, which is the same as most. In fact, people live in the world, ghosts walk in the underworld. Heterosexuals have love, homosexuals Feelings are not inauthentic, even deeper and purer than the feelings between opposite sexes. Because it is not easy to get, they know how to cherish it. Does your face still hurt?" Xiao Ping's words were like spring breeze, warm and soft, and healed up bit by bit Xiao Chuan's bumpy trauma.

"Mom, if you had forgiven Dad earlier, maybe everything would have been different." Xiao Chuan had wanted to mention this issue a long time ago, but he was afraid that Xiao Ping would be sad, and now is the right time.

"Maybe. That's the thing Mom regrets the most in her life. Back then, he left home No. 20 for nine days, and came home to beg me for forgiveness. I was afraid that the neighbors would gossip, so I didn't agree with your dad in the end, causing him to end up in a foreign land." For many years, it will not end well in the end. He is my first love, my reliance, and my other half. Why don't I want to forgive him? It is because of the timidity at that time that caused the current situation. His life is fixed in our family. On that street, he was still holding eleven purple roses, the flower language is undivided love. He must have come to see me. If one day he comes, I will definitely agree, definitely. 12 years, a quick glance, about your dad Have the rumors ever stopped? Without rumors, some people would not be able to live. If you are not happy, who will you live for? As long as you really put your heart into it, why should you be afraid of rumors?" Recalling the past, Xiao Ping's eyes were red, and the words The words are all the wisdom that sinks in the fleeting years.

At this time, Xia Xuechen had been outside the door for a long time, and he heard most of Xiao Ping's words. Thinking of Xia Xue's incomprehension, thinking of her parents' early death, and thinking of Lin Yuan's misfortune, she felt so moved that she burst into tears.Enlightened so far, how can it be embarrassing?

"Auntie." Xia Xuechen knelt down in front of Xiao Ping, her eyes were red.

"Xuechen, get up quickly." Xiao Ping said while pushing Xiao Chuan.

"Xiaochen, we can finally be together." Xiao Chuan lifted Xia Xuechen up and hugged her tightly, never wanting to let go.

Ma De said: "Remember, there is no pain in this world that is just for you. Therefore, don't think that you are a lonely pain sufferer." Xia Xuechen, Xiao Chuan, Lin Yuan, they are just some people who have no sense of security and belonging Sensitive child.They have been hurt too much by the world, and they just want to live in a slightly different way from the world. No one tells them whether it is right or wrong.However, if they sink into the torrent of the world, they are afraid that they will repeat their pain and misfortune.

Their happiness is parasitic in the secular gap. They don't expect great harmony in the world, but they hope that when the world mentions them, they still have reason, or pass it by, that is the best comfort.