living sacrifice

For a person who is in desperate need of money, how can such odd jobs not be tempting?

But strangely, there was a very clear voice in my heart telling me that such a thing was not right.

So after thinking about it for a while, I categorically rejected her: "I won't do this."

"You can think clearly."

I said to her, "To be honest, I don't think you should do this kind of work. Because in this society, if you want to make money, you must pay the price. I think it's more practical to earn hard money honestly."

"Lin Xiao, you are also a deadhead. I said, if you don't do it, I will do it, and you don't stop me." The colleague didn't know why, and suddenly became annoyed.

I know that she is a very bad tempered person, and I also know that she is a person who does not fear God at all, but because everyone else in the newspaper office is outside the office, she is almost the only one who is fixed in the office, so I walked away with her before. very close.

But since I believed in the Lord, I found that our three views began to conflict.

Her family believed in Buddhism, and when I preached the gospel to her, she told me proudly: "I feel that Buddhism, Taoism, and Christianity are all vying for me." He never preached the gospel to her again.

Her family always quarreled and fought with neighbors, and even called the police, and from her own narration, I really felt that she did something wrong, but because of the "pretentious power" she gave me, sometimes I would rather not talk about it. She is not good.If I don't speak, she will assume that I am acquiescing that she is right.

She likes to watch homosexual films, but at that time I clearly knew that God considered homosexuality to be a sin. He had mercy on me as a former homosexual and really loved me, but He didn’t love me for committing the crime of homosexuality, so he tried his best to restore me.That being the case, how can I fall into sin again?Therefore, when my colleague told me these things, I was very conflicted and disgusted, but she looked at me with the attitude of "you Christians have a dignified appearance", which made me very uncomfortable.

God said that we should overcome evil with good, and I wanted to tell her to repent, so I have been patient with her, but she seemed to get worse.

Although I hate that Youyan always forces me to attend various gatherings, to be honest, I really look forward to the Sunday gathering, and I look forward to gathering with brothers and sisters.Although I'm really busy, I'm willing to dedicate all that day, because there is nothing that makes me happier and more at ease than being with them.

I think these people are really cute and simple, and people who believe in Jesus have the impression in my heart that they are a group of cute and simple people.Why did Dong Yiyi and Brother Liu tell me to be careful of people in the church?Who are the bad guys in the church?The first thing I thought of was Qian Junru, I really can't think of anyone else.

In the third week, I finally met the legendary Sister Zhao.This "dragon sees the head but doesn't see the end" is my mastermind behind the scenes. When I met her for the first time, I didn't leave a good impression on me.

She was wearing a long black knee-length down jacket, her face was so tanned that it almost merged with the down jacket.Coupled with the wrinkles on the face, it looks like a wrinkled, shriveled ginseng.

"Hi! Hello everyone!" Everyone was very happy to see Sister Zhao, and greeted her warmly.But she saw me in the crowd, "Is this Lin Xiao?"

"Hello, Miss Zhao."

"Hi Lin Xiao, I'm glad to see you. Did you go back and listen to that set of theology textbooks? Did it help you?"

"I only listened to ten lessons, and I feel pretty good."

Sister Zhao said in amazement: "Wow! You have already listened to ten lessons? Listen, although Lin Xiao has not been baptized yet, she is so thirsty for God's word. Everyone should learn from her."

When everyone's eyes were on me, I felt very complicated. On the one hand, I was a little proud, but on the other hand, I didn't want to show off too much to be annoying, so I put on a serious expression to accept this "compliment".Only You Yan generously hugged me from behind, and pressed her face against my hair.

Sister Zhao brought you another new news: "Brother Sun will also come this afternoon."

Everyone said: "Brother Sun? Great!"

"Who is Brother Sun?" I asked the people around me.

You Yan answered me: "You will know when you see Brother Sun. Brother Sun is also our leader here. We have three leaders here, one is Sister Zhao, the other is Qian Junru, and the other is Brother Sun. .”

"how about you?"

"I am a servant of God, I don't need to raise my head like this. I am a servant of God, dedicated to God." You Yan's tone of voice was full of pride.

Sister Zhao treated me very well, and asked about my basic situation like everyone else. I still didn't mention anything about marriage.

"Lin Xiao, our church is newly established. It was established just one month before you came here, so what you see is still a prototype. We have a lot of imperfections. If you think there is something wrong with us, you are welcome to tell us Put forward valuable opinions. We are all willing to learn humility before God and learn how to serve others.”

"Okay. I think it's nice here, better than many cathedrals I've been to before."

Sister Zhao beamed with joy: "Really? What do you think is the difference?"

"The cathedral doesn't give me much of a feeling, but here I feel like I'm at home."

"Lin Xiao, we are all prodigal sons. You are right. When you come to church, you are going home. According to the Bible, a father has two sons. The youngest son takes the family property and squanders it outside. After spending all his money on his body, he was bullied by outsiders and had no food or clothes to wear. At this time, the youngest son regretted it very much. He thought to himself that my father’s family has a lot of property, so why don’t I go back to my father’s house? So he returned to his hometown and came to his father crying bitterly. When his father heard that he was back, he went to meet him from afar, not only dressed him in the best clothes, but also slaughtered cattle and sheep to entertain the guests. and the father said to him, Why are you angry? My son, you are always with me, and everything that is mine is yours; You should be happy."

I nodded my head and listened, both sad and happy.I said to the God in the sky in my heart: I am home, Dad.

I am very grateful to Heavenly Father for accepting me who is so filthy, and I am also very grateful that these elder sons did not despise me and welcomed me.

I am even more grateful to God for putting a pastor like Sister Zhao by my side. She is a very down-to-earth Christian, unlike You Yan who is "tall and lofty".

For example, when You Yan and others heard "Thank you", they would definitely say "Thank God" or "Glory to God", but Sister Zhao didn't say that, she was very "down-to-earth" and accepted everything , which makes me feel like "one of my own".The communication between me and her became more intimate.

For another example, these Christians have a lot of their own slang words, many of which I couldn't understand at first. "Fellowship" is communication; "Fellowship" is a fixed group, a bit like the concept of a small community; "spiritual life" is spiritual life.Others don't take care of me, but Sister Zhao sometimes explains these technical terms to me by the way.

At that meeting, Sister Zhao told me many things, she said: "Lin Xiao, before we knew God, our own world view was broken, we need to destroy our original world view and rebuild according to God's will. It’s like building a house out of ruins, we need to clear the ruins before we can rebuild.”

"Yes! I think so too." I quickly shared my research results some time ago, "I found that the original worldview cannot explain God. It seems that there are two different systems. Either completely use my original worldview to explain it. The world, or break my original worldview and rebuild."

"You're right. In fact, theology is divided into 'god-oriented' and 'human-oriented'. We are used to the human-oriented thinking. It is difficult to transform into a god-oriented thought at once, and it requires practice."

"You mentioned these two words to remind me. I used to like to write novels as an amateur. We have a term in the novel world called 'God's perspective', and one can be very omniscient and omniscient when writing from God's perspective. I think 'God's perspective' 'Probably means the same thing as 'Shenben'."

Sister Zhao also found it fresh: "Do you have such words? That's really good."

"Yeah, I think God is far beyond my imagination. The world I am familiar with is a three-dimensional world, and time is at most four-dimensional space. But God is in five-dimensional, six-dimensional, or even higher. I don't know the level he lives in. It's unimaginable. It's hard to understand him."

"Your analogy is very good, Lin Xiao, I feel that you have a very high understanding. Although God is far away from us, He left behind the "Bible". You must read the "Bible" carefully."

"OK, all right."

"If you have any questions, you can always call me."

"Okay, thank you, Miss Zhao."

This chat was very enjoyable.

In the afternoon, I saw Brother Sun for the first time. His kindness on his face left a very good impression on me.

Brother Sun is different from Sister Zhao. He is not a "resident" here, and he doesn't come to the party every time. Every time he comes, he will be welcomed by the crowd.

I took a look at his "Bible", which is a vertical version of the "Bible", which is full of lines and notes, and the pages are almost falling off.

After reading that "Bible", I thought to myself: So this is an old Christian!

They are all very kind to me, especially Brother Sun's wife, Gu Jian. Although her name is very heroic, she looks very gentle.She said to me: "Lin Xiao, if you have any questions in the future, you can ask Brother Sun for advice, and I am also willing to answer your questions. Don't be restrained."

"Thank you, Miss Gu."

"Thank the Lord. Oh, you are really blessed. At your age, I have never thought of believing in the Lord. I believe that you are the Lord's choice, and God will use you. You are so young and have a bright future ah."

I don't know what to say about the word "future", because the "future" mentioned by ordinary people refers to money and status; but Christians should refer to God's blessing.I don't know what kind of "future" Gu Jian is talking about, but I think it should refer to the latter.

We had a good chat along the way, so I didn't have any worries, so I asked directly: "Brother Sun, Sister Gu, I would like to ask if you have any recommended books? I usually like to read books."

Gu Jian hugged Big Brother Sun all the time, the relationship between the two of them was so good that I was jealous.I heard from You Yan that the two of them were married for the second time. At that time, I thought that the second marriage could find such a partner, wouldn't it be very happy?Maybe such a second marriage is much happier than other people's first marriage, at least the two of them know how to cherish each other, unlike Wang Xuanhuan.

Brother Sun thought for a while, and then said to me cautiously: "There are many good pastors, but I recommend Martin Chung and Spurgeon because their books are more orthodox."

"OK, thanks."

"thank God."

I glanced at Big Brother Sun, and felt a little strange in my heart. He gave me a good feeling and all kinds of external performances, but I don't know why I always feel that he is hiding.I don't know why I have this strange feeling.

I trust them very much. Although Dong Yiyi and Brother Liu have reminded me that the church is very complicated, I don’t see any problems. I always feel that the people in the church are very kind, and those who believe in Jesus are very kind.Although they all call themselves sinners, I really don't see any sin, and I think they are really humble.