living sacrifice

During this time, although so many things happened in the church, my life was not affected.

The Lord’s guidance was wonderful. Our department was dismantled and merged. Because of this, the entire office was vacated, leaving only me and the leader of my department.

The little leader likes me very much, so they let me stay here with her, but she seldom comes to work during the day, so the entire sixty to seventy square meter office has almost become my own world.During the day, I can lock the front and back doors, and read the Bible and pray alone inside, and run for fitness. What a joy!

I have been reading "Romans" for almost two months, but I still can't understand it.

But one day it was amazing, I felt my heart suddenly opened and I could read the book of Romans.

When I got home, my mother also looked at me very strangely and said, "You are so weird today, why does your face seem to be shining? Is it because you are wearing a red dress?"

“Probably because I understand God’s words.” I told her with a smile.

I told Sister Zhao about this, and I expected to be praised, and she really told me: "Very good, Lin Xiao, very good, you are very sensitive in spirit."

I like her compliments on me.I don't like the things of the world anymore, because those things are going to pass away, but I like other people's praise of my spirituality, because I think it is always good.

Unexpectedly, Sister Zhao would not turn on which pot and which pot to mention, she actually brought up the topic again: "After a while, you will be able to lead the group."

I hate bible study groups because I feel like that gets in the way of my writing.

I said to Sister Zhao: "I think my service is writing. God has entrusted me with writing very heavily. I don't know how to write yet. I need a lot of time to learn writing, and I also need a lot of time to study the Bible."

Sister Zhao said: "You can never finish reading the Bible. But Lin Xiao, we are all like this. We need to participate in the service. During the service, we can learn the Bible better. Lin Xiao, yours I understand the idea, because I also came here like you, but my pastor told me that I should participate in the service first, so that I can get more out of the service.”

I do not agree.

I think I need to ask someone, but I don't know who to ask.The situation of Qian Junru and Dong Yiyi doesn't look right. Although Dong Yiyi is much better now, she always feels weak.You Yan is too unreliable.I feel that the answer given by Sister Zhao is wrong, and I want to find someone else.

In the church, I also trusted Brother Sun, but for some reason, I didn't fully trust him from the beginning to the end.I have always been in this state of trusting but not very trusting to Brother Sun, that is to say, I don't actually trust him.

This is not to say that Brother Sun doesn't care about me.

Brother Sun often asks me: "Lin Xiao, how do you feel recently?"

I thought about it, my marriage is free, I don't need to mediate with Wang Xuanhuan's family anymore; I don't need to worry about the house anymore; I don't have to worry about my work now.

I replied to Brother Sun: "I feel that after I was baptized, the Lord took away little by little all the things that bound me. It seemed that the Lord broke all the chains for me."

Brother Sun's second wife, Gu Jian, clapped her hands happily, she seemed happier than Brother Sun, she danced and said, "That's great, that's great, Lin Xiao, the Lord really loves you. Do you know that? When you were baptized that day, I lifted your head up out of the water, and I suddenly felt that my hand had grown so big. But when I looked at it carefully, it didn’t seem to have grown any larger.”

I was very pleased to hear this, because it instantly reminded me of the Holy Spirit descending on the Lord Jesus like a dove when he was baptized.I think there are so many weird things happening to me, probably the main one has entrusted me a lot.I feel my future is bright.

Because everyone likes to talk about the miracles they have experienced, so I am arty and told them my own real experience: "The Lord is really good to me. I have heard voices from the spirit world and seen strange things. elephant."

Gu Jian's expression became even more strange, and she asked me: "What sound did you hear?"

"I heard a voice say to me 'Their spirits are moving in the kingdom of darkness'." In case they didn't believe me, I added, "I heard that voice with my own ears, but there was no one around. Also, After I was baptized, while singing a hymn, I had a vision. I saw a white shadow covering me, slowly descending from above, and covering me."

"Is that shadow wearing a long robe, with long hair and beard?" Gu Jian asked.

I wanted to say yes, but my heart suddenly felt a little uneasy.In fact, I say this is a bit watery.I have indeed seen this picture, but unlike that voice is very clear, the picture is not very clear, a bit like my imagination inspired by the lyrics.At that time, my eyes were blurred from crying because of Wang Xuanhuan's matter. I don't know if it was because of my blurred eyes that I had fantasies.And the vision I saw was actually a person standing on a podium, and a shining image in white clothes came down from above to cover him, but it wasn't necessarily me.To give myself credit, I told them it was me.

I thought about it, waved my hand and said, "Actually, the vision is not very clear. But I think it is."

Gu Jian's eyes were like flashlights in the dark, and they really radiated light. She grabbed her husband's hand and said, "How blessed Lin Xiao is! She has just been baptized, and she heard voices and saw images. The Lord is really love." she!"

The Lord loves me, I admit it, but it seems that it is not as exaggerated as she showed, right?I scratched the back of my head, not knowing how to answer.The Lord loved me and made me pay a very painful price, but I am too embarrassed to mention it.

Brother Sun also gave me a thumbs up and said, "Very good."

During this process, one thing also aroused my thinking: Gu Jian and the others often gathered together to talk about various visions, miracles, miraculous healing, exorcism and other things.How could they be interested in what I encountered when they had seen so many strange things?They should be very calm about miracles.

Maybe it's because Gu Jian gave me the impression that she is particularly interested in these miracles, so I don't trust her very much, and I don't know what the problem is. I don't like these people who like miracles very much, but I have experienced more miracles than them, and I think this is fundamentally contradictory.

I really want to ask other people what they think of the things I lead the group, but because I don't trust Gu Jian very much, and I don't trust Big Brother Sun by the way, and there is really no one else to ask, so I can't do anything except pray.

The matter of Qian Junru was like a butterfly effect, causing endless waves in the church.

In addition to Qian Junru's sudden situation, You Yan also had a sudden situation. She started arguing with Sister Zhao, and she didn't know why.These things made Ms. Zhao very anxious, and I often felt that she was very hard.

During that time, You Yan often quarreled with Sister Zhao, and it is said that she also quarreled with other people.When Sister Zhao was so busy, I thought You Yan was really adding to the chaos. I prayed for her, but she got worse instead. This made me very sad.She is my sister in the physical body, but our two personalities are completely opposite.

With so much going on in the church all of a sudden, we all want to get the church back into that orderly state.

Sister Zhao weighed it over and over again, and then announced something with the church: we are going to hold a three-day camp.

"What is the camp?" I asked Sister Zhao.She is now my exclusive consultant, and I will ask her about everything.

"The camp is like a spring outing. Of course we worship God. But during the camp, we don't just worship God. You can bring friends and relatives with you. This time I want to take advantage of Camp meeting, to solve the matter of Qian Junru and You Yan once and for all. Of course, we can also take this opportunity to let people who don’t believe in the Lord understand us.”

"This is good!"

"In order to take care of those who do not believe in the Lord, we will not forcefully preach the gospel to them on the way, but just let them follow us and watch our activities, so that maybe they will be slowly led by us."

I feel so good.Because many people who don’t believe in the Lord are against evangelism, but if it’s just a spring outing, I believe many people will not be so resistant.

"Then where do we live?"

"I have taught Qian Junru's husband how to deal with these matters. I have already talked with both of them, and they are willing to serve the church. It is also an opportunity for us to teach ourselves to communicate. We can relax and talk to each other while playing, and I hope that the problems of Qian Junru and the others can be solved.”

Because of various situations in the church, we are looking forward to this camp. On the one hand, we can invite our unsaved relatives and friends; rift.

Of course You Yan was invited.

However, it was not me who called it, but sister Zhao herself.

Sister Zhao asked me after a week: "Lin Xiao, have you contacted You Yan recently?"

"No." I shook my head.

"Do you two live very close? You have a chance to communicate with You Yan and ask her about her situation."

Sister Zhao's request was reasonable, but I was conflicted and didn't want to go, and I didn't know why.

Seeing my refusal, Sister Zhao said helplessly, "Okay, let's wait for her to recover. I hope the Lord can bring her to the camp and we can solve the problem face to face. To be honest, I don't even know what happened to You Yan suddenly. "

Dong Yiyi heard it from the side, and came up to join the topic: "That's right, I think You Yan is really strange, and said a lot of inexplicable things to me, and I don't know what they mean. Sister Zhao, You Yan Did I tell you anything?"

Sister Zhao shook her head: "She didn't say anything."

Then, Sister Zhao was very strange. She suddenly turned to me and asked me again: "You Yan really didn't tell you anything?"

"No, I haven't even contacted her."

"It's really strange." Sister Zhao said.

I don't know what's wrong with wandering geese.I want to give You Yan a step down, after all, she is my cousin, although I don't like her either.

I said: "You Yan is also very pitiful. Her father has been abusing her since she was a child, which may have caused such consequences to her."

Sister Zhao thought for a while and said, "That's very possible. Psychologically speaking, this is the influence of the original family. I don't think You Yan did it on purpose. We don't need to say that about her. I want to find a good opportunity with her. Let's talk, but she won't come this time."

Sister Zhao asked again: "She really didn't say anything? Last time she said a lot to me inexplicably on the phone, but I didn't understand, and I don't know why she suddenly lost her temper like this."

Dong Yiyi said: "You Yan sent me a message saying that she will not come this week. I wonder if she will come to the camp?"

I didn't take You Yan's matter to heart, I thought she would be fine.In front of them, I casually said: "Don't pay attention to her, she has been like this since she was a child, and she is prone to seizures in spring."

Dong Yiyi said: "Last time she said a lot of things we couldn't understand in the group. Lin Xiao, I really don't understand. You and You Yan are relatives, but you two have really different personalities. It’s the same. At that time, You Yan said that he would bring relatives to our church. I felt a little bit in my heart at that time. I thought about it. One You Yan in our church is enough, and another one is enough? Fortunately, you are different from her, you more meek and humble.”

"Actually, not at all." I really didn't think I was gentle, but such a compliment made me very moist.

Sister Zhao asked me again: "Lin Xiao, did you really have no contact with You Yan? She really didn't say anything."

"Not really. What's the matter?"

"It's okay, I just asked casually."

Dong Yiyi and I sat on both sides of Sister Zhao, like two little assistants.

I don't remember who talked about You Yan first, I just remember that the three of us talked about her happily behind our backs, and Dong Yiyi even imitated You Yan's tone of voice.

Dong Yiyi laughed, wiped her tears and said, "Actually, I still like You Yan very much. She speaks very directly. However, sometimes her directness makes me a little bit unbearable."

In fact, from the very beginning, I felt that it was not good for us to talk about You Yan behind our backs, but I am very used to saying bad things about people behind our backs. The slightly inappropriate feeling was quickly ignored by me.

Qian Junru and You Yan suddenly had such a situation. I think it is like what Sister Zhao said, our church has indeed been attacked by evil forces.

At that time, I was still very simple, and I prayed to the Lord every day about the church being attacked by evil forces, asking the Lord to help us build a wall to resist the enemy, and asking the Lord to help us block the breach.

You Yan kept a distance from everyone, and later even Qian Junru, who was wandering outside, felt that something was wrong. She said to Sister Zhao: "You Yan didn't know why she suddenly went crazy. She sent me a lot of voice messages, and then sent me deleted."

Sister Zhao said: "Okay, everyone don't talk about her anymore. We will all have this stage, this is the sabotage work done by the enemy. Everyone can pray for her, and I will invite her again and let her come to us again next week .I'm at church, have a good talk with her."

Everyone is very worried about You Yan, but I don't have too much worry in my heart. I think she is fine.It was only when I saw Sister Zhao's cramped face that I remembered to pray for You Yan.

In the process of waiting for the camp, we were not idle, and we worked hard every week to attract people to the church.

In that church, the biggest "performance" I made was to bring my mother and her friends to the church.My mom's friend had a backache at the time, so I said, "Come to church, let them pray for her, maybe it will get better." Then they came.

My mom has always been against church, and if it wasn't for her friends, she wouldn't come with me.

I know that the Lord did not guarantee that the sickness will be healed, and I should have told my mother, but of course the people who came wanted to be healed, so from this perspective, I think the "preaching the gospel" that time was actually Fake.

I don't think our church as a whole has a very clear idea of ​​what the gospel is.

I remember one time, Sister Zhao made a statistic in our church during a meal: Why did everyone stay in the church?

The topic has everyone scrambling to start sharing their own stories.

Qian Junru is because her marriage and family are not harmonious; Dong Yiyi is because she can't sleep; You Yan is because she is abroad alone, and the church gave her warmth; Zhao sister is because of mania...

They also asked me, but I couldn’t tell. In the end, I could only say: “I was forced to come to church by You Yan. Later, God used Qian Junru to preach to me. I think what she said was right. I just stayed."

This is true, but I think Sister Zhao did not agree with what I said, because she turned around casually after listening to it, and did not give me any answer.

On the contrary, Dong Yiyi smiled and said: "It seems that God still uses You Yan with a character like her."

Like Mu Yun, her experience is even more unusual. She believed in Jesus because her master was lifted up to the third heaven by the Lord Jesus in the spiritual world.

I have a question in my heart: Is this because the Lord Jesus leads everyone differently?But in my eyes, I think confession and repentance is a very important prerequisite for knowing God, because when I confessed and repented, and admitted that I was a sinner, I felt great joy and fullness because of the redemption of the Lord Jesus.

Why didn't everyone mention when to confess and repent?Or is it that everyone, like me, doesn't want to mention what happened in the past?

If everyone’s experience is different, then what exactly is the Lord Jesus asking us to preach the gospel to?How should I preach the gospel to others so that they can believe and be saved?

At that time, my mother and my mother’s friends, I didn’t know how to preach the gospel to them. The key point was that I didn’t know what the gospel was. So I used this reason to attract them to the church. I hope that in the church, maybe God will move them. It was like moving me to confess my sin and repent.

When my mother came to church, we also prayed to her friend, we also prayed to her in a circle, and we all hoped that the Lord would hear our prayers.

As a result, my mother’s friend went back and told her: “Probably because I sat in the car for too long and listened to sermons for a long time, my waist hurts even more.”

This incident made me feel very slapped, and later my mother felt that our church was deceiving, so she was even more reluctant to go to church.

There was one thing my mother said that really impressed me. She said: "Your church feels indecent when you walk in. Why is the whole room dark?"

I didn't understand it at the time, so I said, "That's because they want to put a projector, and you can't see anything unless you draw the curtains."

"It can't be that the whole room is so dark, at least there is some light." My mother was also suspicious about another thing, "What's going on with a boy who looks like a fool?"

I was dizzy, and I said, "Don't call him a fool, okay? That's the high-achieving student I told you about last time, but now it's like this with Internet addiction."

"Hey, nice boy, he looks quite handsome. Internet addiction is really harmful. You prayed for him to exorcise demons for so long, did it help?"

"That's not called exorcism, okay! That's called exorcism! I think... it should be somewhat useful, right? His mother told me last time that there are a lot fewer ghosts in their house."

But my mother shook her head and said, "I don't think it's useful, it's just a lie."

I can’t be sure about this, and I don’t think I know whether the Lord is willing to give us the authority to cast out demons.I can only say: “I can’t say it’s a lie. There are people who can really cast out demons in the name of the Lord Jesus, but I don’t know if we can cast out demons for them.”

"Anyway, I won't go to your church again. I've already told you, I went once, don't call me again."

"You don't need to be so decisive. You can still go and see it at Christmas. We still have a camp meeting."

"Go by yourself, don't call me again!" My mother has the same bad temper as me.But it bothers me.