without me

back road?

I know, how could I not know.

What is the way out? It was Jiang Youwei's plan from the very beginning, Jiang Yushan's way of life.

I knew it from the beginning.

"..."

"So be it."

Immediately, I lost the will to continue talking, and left behind these two "vigorous" hozen who were full of "hope" for my own hands and consciousness, and rushed out of the door.

What lives, what dies.

It's all shit.

The servant watched me leave without saying a word. At this time, everything in the Jiang Mansion was still as calm as a day for decades.

"No wind and no waves".

I feel tired like never before, like the sky is broken into huge mountains, crushing this overwhelmed land, crushing all the houses for rest.

Since it is doomed that I cannot be alone, then let my world dissipate.

At least, if he can keep Zhuiyan, he can still do business with Si Yiniang.

But Jiang Ci...

On the way back to his room, he heard a maid whispering, it seems that he knew about chasing Yan to the temple.

A hurried figure moved quickly from the edge of my sight.

"...Ajiu."

The other party stopped immediately when they heard the call, it was not convenient to salute with things in their hands, so they only replied with a respectful "Master".

I avoided the etiquette for it, and saw that Ajiu was carrying a huge object that was tightly wrapped in cloth.

"This is?"

Ajiu flexed his tibia, changed his posture and continued to hold it cautiously, "Back to Eldest Young Master, this is from the Ye family. It is said to be a 'big gift'. The master's order must not be wrong, otherwise the consequences will be at your own risk."

All in all, if you bump into each other, don't even think about staying in Jiang's house.

"Where are you going to send it?" I rubbed my forehead, trying to divert my attention.

Ajiu said: "Send it to Yingxiu to move to Haosheng to buy. It should be decided by Mrs. Chen and Mrs. Wei."

Looking at the outline, one can vaguely tell that it is a vessel, and Jiang Youwei should value it so much, there must be a lot of meaning behind it.

Yingxiu...

I pretended to be calm and ordered: "Go and tell Yingxiu to come to my house... If Jiang An is there, tell Jiang An, don't tell her."

Ajiu nodded instead of saluting, and continued to leave holding things extremely carefully.

……

"Father, then I'll go back first." Jiang Yushan bowed towards the other party with a smile on his face, "Shen Shijie's matter is almost inseparable. I will make good use of Jiang Xu's relationship to let that prostitute listen."

Jiang Youwei couldn't bear to smile, and nodded heavily.

"Okay, that's great, now we have hope."

He maintained that kind and kind face until Jiang Yushan disappeared outside the door, and his wrinkled face suddenly collapsed.

I still don't feel at ease, I always feel that he will make trouble... I have to find an excuse.

"Come on."

The servants in twos and threes poured into the lobby from the door, Jiang Youwei took a sip of the cold tea, "Bring that boy Jiang Xu over here, twenty slabs."

Seeing the group of people in front of him nodded hesitantly, he said in a deep voice.

"Don't go soon!"

Shocked by the yelling, they quickly ran out the door, and the last one drove to Massachusetts.

Jiang Youwei once told them privately that if the other party refuses to carry out, they will be tied.

"Ah."

After the people left, he poured all the tea on the ground in front of him, called the servants to clean up the things, and then he turned around and left slowly.

……

Hearing the movement outside, Jiang An glanced at me hesitantly, nodded before hurriedly opening the door.

"...What are you doing?"

In fact, there is no need to ask, as long as anyone with a discerning eye can tell that Jiang's family is getting into trouble again, they will be punished.

I gave him a worried look and signaled to ignore it, Jiang An bit his lips tightly, and managed to get out through the servant's gap.

"What did I provoke again? Why don't you know."

The other party stood at the door and made a "please" gesture, "The master suddenly ordered, and we don't know the reason."

"Young master, you won't embarrass us."

I thought it was funny, but I had no choice but to let them go to their old place.

It is said to be hit by a board, but in fact it can be used for anything, sometimes it is a stick, sometimes it is a board, and sometimes Jiang Youwei gets angry and hits directly with his upper hand...

The stick will hurt a bit, but fortunately, the contact area is really small, so you can wake up from the pain; the board is slightly different, the pain will spread over time, but it is really dull and unbearable.

I watched the long stick writhing on my back, and while trying not to make a sound, I felt a deep resentment towards someone.

"two……"

The servant who was in charge of holding me down comforted me: "That's right, young master, there are twenty of them in total, and it's almost over."

"Didn't you survive the previous thirty? This is not easy."

No, that's not what I mean...Thirty is just not dead, it's almost the same.

I tried my best to endure negative emotions, thinking that this is the fourth time No.20 has been punished in my life.

The consciousness began to be a little trance. I knew it early and established a familiarity and habit with this feeling. I slowly half-closed my eyes, and the subconscious struggle caused by the pain also drooped and disappeared.

No... not yet...

I forced myself to wake up, and my consciousness gradually returned.

Time is always slow in times of pain, coupled with waiting for something to happen, anticipation becomes a support.

When I was about to fall asleep unbearably, there was a faint sound in my ear—it was barely audible that a heavy object had fallen to the ground.Immediately afterwards, the servant girl's clear and piercing exclamation made all the servants around startled, and quietly approached the source of the movement.

My blurry eyes closed completely after my brain judged the scene to be real.

at last……

When he came back to his senses, he was really lying on the bed, and his back still ached.

I couldn't help but wonder, would a prisoner be rode and punished so many times in his life?

Perhaps, what awaits them is not just boring sticks, the government has thousands of ways to torture sinners.

The beheading of the rebels and the implication of the nine clans, this is the majesty that everyone knows and dare not touch.

At this time, Yingxiu didn't come to give me medicine, but another little maid who was bought by the master after selling herself on the street to bury her father last year.

I put on a look of curiosity.

"What happened outside just now? Why is it so noisy."

Seeing that the work at hand was almost done, she packed up the wound medicine and replied: "The housekeeper, Jiang An, has caused trouble, and the master is punishing him."

"yes."

I didn't ask any more questions, and calculated the time for Jiang Ci's return after perfunctory her leaving. Not long after, the door was opened again.

Jiang Ci dismissed Ajiu and told him to continue watching the fun, and sighed exaggeratedly after closing the door.

"Sister, you are No.20 four times!"

I already saw what he was going to say.

"Amazing, I guess the prisoners all—"

"Quiet, your head is going to be gone, are you still afraid of this?"

Jiang Ci was caught off guard and choked in place, coughed twice in embarrassment, pulled out a chair and sat by the bed.

"...Then what, Jiang An got into trouble and was scolded by the master."

"I know," I turned my head and looked at him with difficulty, "what else?"

"It's estimated that the end will not be so good - the precious porcelain vase sent by the Ye family, the first-class craftsmanship, and the posthumous work of a peerless craftsman. Jiang An kowtowed many times, and the blood flowed all over the ground. The master barely survived. thought of killing him."

He scratched his hair tangledly, thinking that I might already know something, and then reluctantly opened his mouth.

"That kid has taken a fancy to fairies."

Taking care of my emotions, he deliberately made a big circle, and blurted out a sentence.I smiled helplessly, "I know."

"But the fairy didn't follow, it's just that he is quite rough."

"I know."

"This matter...Jiang Yushan told him, and there is a clean one hidden behind."

"I know."

He seemed to be unable to continue. Seeing me numbly nodding slightly, my voice trembling, he didn't know whether he should deliberately raise the corner of his mouth to adjust the atmosphere.

In the end it didn't work out.

"Shen Shijie bought her from the bustard." Jiang Ci knew that the person in front of him probably didn't just have a shallow friendship with the other party, at least he didn't think so, "He Huang said, the boy secretly told the bustard that he wanted to marry the girl, Definitely will marry, the other party hesitated for a long time before agreeing."

And the little maid told me that in fact Shen Shijie brought many people to Hongxinglou together, in order to coerce and lure.

I wanted to respond casually as usual, opened my thirsty mouth, and didn't know what to say for a moment, but I couldn't control it.

"...as expected."

He said so verbally, but actually he kept praying in his heart that Shen Junshe could stop this ridiculous "commitment".

You can't let her get involved with the Shen family, marry someone or something, as long as it's not the Shen family...

For her, it's a good thing, as long as it's not the Shen family...

Until I heard Jiang Ci calling a few times, I tasted a little salty taste from the corner of my mouth and the tip of my tongue, and my nose was so blocked to prevent it from coming out.

In fact, this kind of liking is wrong after all, God can't be blind to fulfill it.

A "big young master", a native of Zhangtai.

I can't perfect myself, and I want to perfect others, and hope that the other party can perfect myself.

"That person He Huang, do you know where she is now? It can't be the Shen residence."

I couldn't see Jiang Ci's face, but I could only hear him trying to calm down his tone.

"I don't know the exact location... I only know that it's in a shabby room in the outskirts, where the old butler of Shen's residence left behind during his lifetime."

My dull thoughts flowed slowly.

What is this for?It's easy to think of.

I can only recuperate as usual, and tell me all the big and small things and changes through Ajiu and Jiang Ci.

Sometimes when Jiang Wenru came back from outside, he would take the time to chat with me.

"I'm afraid that there is commotion outside, and my brother knows about it."

He lowered his eyebrows and sighed, "It's true that there are internal and external troubles. The enemy has not been completely eliminated, and the hidden dangers have not disappeared. I guess my family will also be restless now."

I moved my shoulders a bit, and the muscles in my back spread the stiff and piercing pain, so I could sit up.

"tell me the story."

Jiang Wenru put down the scroll in his hand, and seriously raised his head to respond: "As I said last time, the disasters in Chiyu, the losses caused by the disasters in previous years have not been made up to now... and it is impossible to make up for it. The livelihood of the common people is getting worse and worse. It’s to the point of cutting flesh.”

"No matter how bad it is... I really don't know what I will do, and nothing is too much."

I smiled sarcastically, "It's hard to return to being an official, and this is the consequence they should bear - something to eat every day."

Among them, of course, is the Jiang Mansion.

He recalled his experience of going to a remote place, with grief and unbearable expression on his face.

"I heard that my elder brother secretly followed General Ruan to the northern border, and that place is not a pretty place."

"It's always been like this there," I told him that there was no change. "I was also suffering from the consequences of being crowded and full...that's a nice way of saying it, and I basically didn't get full."

At that time, I couldn't understand why the military camp couldn't even divide the food, and the deputy general's wife was still willing to detour to other places with food distribution, and stooped to help.

Because of this, she took me to a village far away from the camp that day, carried away the supplies with the soldiers who responded, and escaped the ambush.

Jiang Wenru shook his head again and again, "It shouldn't be like this, it shouldn't be."

"That's the way it is," I retorted, "There are not so many princes in this world, and there are not so many royal power and wealth."

"I... just can't bear it. Sister Qiong's fiancé died on the way to rescue the disaster," he still sighed, "It shouldn't be, it shouldn't be."

"Royal power and wealth, what a good thing..." Jiang Wenru was so entangled, and I answered calmly as if I was saying common sense.

"They are all wolves, tigers and leopards. There are no human beings in the world."

He pursed his lips, "I'm afraid that life and death are not in my hands... It doesn't feel good to be resigned to fate."

When the voice just fell, I thought the other party knew something. It took me a moment to gather my concentration, and I realized that he was always so worried.

But now is the time when life and death are not in his hands, and it happens that he is worrying about something.

Wouldn't it be cruel not to tell him... I suddenly realized that it seemed that I had never talked to Jiang Wenru and hinted at it.

In some ways, I'm still very similar to this kid.

The same pessimism, the same aversion to many things, and unwilling expectations for them.

At this time, as the "brother", Yu Xin couldn't bear it.

This is a good seedling, much better than most idle young masters who only know how to eat, drink and play.It would be a pity if he was really tortured.

"Ugh……"

I still think that children should be given some hope, and I don't want the other party to still have a sad face even at the end of their life, as if they are impermanent.

"Those who know do not confuse, those who are benevolent do not worry, and those who are brave do not fear."

I move out the unchanging principles of scholars.

"Qi Ru...you are knowledgeable and kind."

"However, your bravery should not only be used for chasing, but also for facing things that are doomed and cannot be changed."

Jiang Wenru was stunned for a moment, and humbly accepted the remarks of a person of no age or education.

I looked at him seriously, "Your courage is enough to face cruelty, accept cruelty...or change cruelty."

He couldn't help thinking in silence, and slowly spit out a sentence.

"I heard from Mrs. Chen that these words are very similar."

"...Understood, I will try to get it."

I am not surprised that Chen Ju raised these questions to him long ago, and hoped that he could really examine and apply them.

Jiang Wenru broke away from his contemplation, and said goodbye respectfully.

The flow of people inside and outside the royal city is much more stable than before. Some people who went out to do business should return home, and those who moved away can only be counted as a small number.

Just like the peace and tranquility before the storm, the sky will always fall with gray clouds, and those who know the weather will pinch their fingers and try to escape.

At least not in the rain.

There are a lot less things to know, and I almost had the illusion that the sun is shining in Wangcheng.

After being punished four times by No.20, I deftly went out to buy some caramel for myself.

I just hugged my things and left in the warm greeting of the proprietress, feeling empty and uneasy.I have long been used to walking aimlessly in this state, going wherever I go, and not afraid of getting lost.

At this time, most of them are subconscious, emptying their minds and following their memories.

I remember one time when I recovered from my injury, I was also in a strange mood. After walking casually for half a day, I watched the sky darken.Concentrating again to distinguish the scene around him, he came to Ruan Zecheng's grave.

Probably because no one took me out to play during that time.

Just move forward without thinking, control yourself to enjoy this familiar and strange feeling, step on stone bricks, step on mud, step on weeds.

The air is also stained with a little dew with the color of plants, which can be seen everywhere.Fengxuan was blocked by most of the coolness on the outer robe, but half of it was still attached to the body.

As far as the eye can see, it seems to have walked thousands of times, hiding it hard to find, and I have only walked here a few times, and soon I will climb trees and fences.

"..."

I vaguely touched the wall, turned my back and walked in the opposite direction.

It was not night at this time, and the scene I saw was completely different from my mind, and it was probably normal.

I have unknowingly escaped from the state, and concentrated on pushing aside the branches and leaves that block my view. Probably the wind is very polite, and the tree is also very polite, so I calmed down and waited without causing trouble.

One more step, just one step.

Struggling to resist the feeling of expectation and constantly laughing at my own long-cherished wishes is what I have always done.

That's why it's unbearable, and my expectations are clearly visible.

I stopped at the grass where the soles of my feet were not very active, and stared at the person kneeling beside the big tree in front of me, looking down peacefully.

"..."

Suddenly I didn't know what expression to make, whether I should smile or lament, and looked at her overwhelmed and tangled, as if everything had changed.

The closer you get, the more afraid you are, but you don't have any temper when you meet.As if I calmed down, I said, "Could it be that I sneaked out again?"

Under the shadow of the tree, Wen Liu raised her head in surprise.

"No, cough, no."

I recognize this look.

When the mother was sick and chanted "Jiang Xu"; when the fourth aunt was before leaving; when chasing Yan refused to marry and made a fuss;

Just like her, her eyes and nose were red and watery.

"you……"

"I was bought by Mr. Shen."

She bit her lower lip and lowered her head again, refusing to look at anyone.

There was a long silence, and it was difficult for us to speak.

As a friend, he should be well blessed, but he is not an outsider who doesn't know the inside story.I also couldn't bear to look directly, knowing that it was a dilemma.

Wen Liu suddenly spoke to break the silence.

"Actually, I hate getting married."

I froze for a moment, "Why?"

"Because Yi has a concubine Luo."

Before the words fell, I became aware of the other party's thoughts, and she looked at me with puzzlement and self-blame on her face.

"Actually, he didn't like mine, but Liu'er was well protected, so he picked it up."

"Miss Jiang, do you know what my mother said to me when she handed me over."

Facing Wen Liu's self-question, I didn't shake my head, nor did I answer. I just stood quietly in front of him and listened attentively.

She put her arms around my hand and said, Liu Er, have you lived a good life?

She said, Liu Er, I don't have to worry anymore, you will be snatched from your home.

She said, daughter, the Shen family is an official's family, and they have lived in the court for generations, so don't be too nervous.

The official family is good, the official family has money and rations, you don't have to run around with your mother like you did when you were a child, and you don't have to worry about food and clothing.

Haven't you always wanted to go out?

Let's go, my mother will see you off.

Every word flowed out gently and softly, Wen Liu raised his hands to cover his face with his sleeves, and continued to speak with a trembling voice until he showed me the exact words at that time.

I wanted to comfort her, but it felt inappropriate to raise my arms, and stagnated in the air with difficulty.

If I do, I can only be a friend, so I don't have to worry about her leaving the court.

……

Wen Liu wiped away the traces on his face, and just before his eyes became bright again, he was hugged in his arms defenselessly.She smiled and wrapped my arms around me, "What are you doing?"

I stroked her back to comfort her, listened carefully to her still trembling voice, and joked, "Forgive me, I can't imagine the madam saying what she just said with heavy makeup on."

Wen Liu also began to smile again, "To be honest, I couldn't think of it before."

"Every time the back kitchen cooks, I have to taste it in advance so that I don't get upset, and then I share it with everyone. The result is the round appearance now."

"And ah! She, she is very strong, but she is fierce. Lao Luo valued her pungentness and suits his appetite, so he happily married her."

"Liu'er is not used to calling him father, so he followed me to imitate the uncle next door and called him 'Lao Luo'. He didn't get angry. He only knew that I was my mother's baby and took me around."

"It's all places I haven't seen before, and they are all beautiful."

I let the other party's hands unconsciously clenched the clothes on the back of the spine, and his head was buried on his shoulders, unable to move.

"It's just that I left too early, and I was sick all over. I was afraid that we would let us stay away. When I left, I also looked at him from a distance, watching him laughing and closing his eyes while enduring the pain. .”

"Why do some people walk so fast on their legs? I haven't called him yet, just wait..."

Wen Liu gradually couldn't catch her breath, choked and panted, tears soaked her face, seeping down my shoulders.

Shen Shijie didn't aim to spend the rest of his life together at all, and the fact that rebellion was at work could not change the fact that he was on a whim.

Wen Liu didn't believe that such a marriage was the "happiness" that the madam called, when both of them had no love for each other.

What's more, love will not become a bridge extending to the end.

She misses her home here, as if she could always wait for her own place.

"Liu'er doesn't want to get married..."

"I have someone I like, I don't want to get married..."

I squeezed the cuff and applied it to her eyes, and the warm touch spread from my palm to every part of her limbs.

"……I like you."