faint star

On a Sunday at the end of November, Gu Heng asked Xu Zhiwei to go to Huayan again. He wanted Xu Zhiwei to be a model and draw a few more pictures.

Winter is the low season for photography studios.When Gu Heng and Xu Zhiwei arrived at the store, there was not a single customer.Sister Ning was sitting by the counter, poking a small sweater with a needle.Seeing them coming, she smiled and nodded at them without getting up—she was pregnant and due next summer.

Because there was a mother-to-be, the air in the studio became much quieter and softer.

Gu Heng and Xu Zhiwei went upstairs quietly.

It is past one o'clock in the afternoon, and the winter sun is not as strong as in summer, but it is clearer.

The heater was turned on in the room, Xu Zhiwei took off his coat, put on a sweater, and sat in the same position.

Gu Heng still told him to turn his face to the left to draw his right face.

Xu Zhiwei suddenly said, "Does my right cheek look better?"

He knew a saying that the two sides of a person's face are not completely symmetrical, and the left half of the face of many people is different from the right half of the face.

Gu Heng said: "No. Your left side is also pretty."

Xu Zhiwei said: "Then why don't you draw the left side of my cheek? Always draw one side, isn't it boring?"

Gu Heng looked at him: "Not tired."

Xu Zhiwei thought of the portrait Gu Heng had painstakingly drawn before, as well as the sketches in the diary he had given him.

He's been thinking about it all this time, and then he realizes something.Gu Heng's painting of him, the more detailed, the less like him.On the contrary, there are only a few sketches, and there is more of his demeanor.

At this moment Xu Zhiwei looked directly at Gu Heng, this time, he did not listen to Gu Heng's instruction to turn his face away.He just looked at Gu Heng, summoned up his courage and asked, "What do you think of me?"

Gu Heng said: "Your facial features are well proportioned..."

Xu Zhiwei interrupted him: "I'm not talking about my face, appearance. I mean, what do you think of me as a person? What do you think?"

Gu Heng's expression was very gentle, without any excitement. He said, "You are very interesting and smart. I thought you were just an ordinary good student. I didn't expect you to have a lot of secrets. That's why we can be friends."

Xu Zhiwei heard the word "friend" clearly.

This is Gu Heng's declaration - he only regards him as a playable friend.

"We are friends." Xu Zhiwei repeated Gu Heng's words.He wanted to run away from here, but his body seemed to be firmly nailed in place, unable to move.

He likes someone for the first time, so many things are still unclear.

He didn't understand why there was such a big difference between what he felt and the actual result, and he didn't understand why Gu Heng could do so much for him, but it was still not like him.

Gu Heng said: "Yeah, it's kind of like-minded?"

Xu Zhiwei wanted to laugh, who has the same smell as Gu Heng?He wanted to cry again, it turned out that Gu Heng really didn't like him.

Unwilling, sad, lost, twisted together, there is a faint pain in the depths of the body.

"What about Shen Lian? Shen Lian is also your friend?" Xu Zhiwei asked.

Gu Heng paused

Next, say: "Yes."

Xu Zhiwei caught his pause and hesitation, and asked, "Then why don't you mention him to me? I'm in the same class as him, and he is your junior high school classmate, but you never mentioned him for so long. .”

Gu Heng has always acted like he doesn't know anyone in the school well.

It's so unnatural.

Gu Heng smiled: "I don't need to say everything, right? Besides, I haven't played much with him recently."

Xu Zhiwei said: "But you still care about him very much. Before you asked me if Miao Shanshan was with Shen Lian, it was actually not for Miao Shanshan, but for Shen Lian, right?"

Gu Heng acquiesced.

Xu Zhiwei felt cold again: "If you care about him so much, why do you pretend that you don't know Shen Lian? Do you know that Shen Lian is also like everyone else, afraid of you, afraid of getting into trouble with you?"

Gu Heng's eyes suddenly lit up, and his face was serious: "You don't know Shen Lian. Don't speculate on him like that."

He defended Shen Lian.

Xu Zhiwei stared blankly at Gu Heng.

Gu Heng put down his pen and said, "Gu Xin should have told you about it. However, he has never been very clear-headed, so he may have given you some wrong impressions."

"Auntie Shen and my mother have known each other for a long time. They are college students who passed the exam in the same place. They are fellow students and classmates. Because of this, the two of them are always compared by the people around them. It is difficult to tell the relationship between them. Relationships, girlfriends, classmates, competition with each other? Maybe everything.

"My mother even joked that when Lao Gu first started chasing her, he hesitated between the two of them. It was she who was one step ahead of others and finally got Lao Gu settled. Otherwise, Lao Gu's principal house would have been changed. People. You see, they have so many pasts, so how can my mother be a good girlfriend who is pure and enthusiastic?

"Actually, I think Aunt Shen's choice is right. Uncle Shen is much better than Lao Gu. When I was young, I went to Shen Lian's house to play, and I felt that although his house was much smaller than mine, it was always so tidy and warm. My parents never Arguing and talking softly. That's why Shen Lian is such a lovely child.

"It's a pity that when Shen Lian was in the fourth grade of primary school, Uncle Shen got into a car accident and was seriously injured. He couldn't work and his business suffered a lot.

"Facing such an accident, Shen Lian still worked very hard, studied hard, and worked hard to reduce the burden on the family. I never heard him complain. He never complained about the worsening conditions at home, nor did he complain that his father had been undergoing surgery all the time. He Always cheerful.

"My mother did help his family with a lot of things - after Uncle Shen couldn't work, he needed money for financial turnaround. My mother lent money to their family and introduced projects to her aunt. But she is not all kind and good deeds. It's like thoroughly experiencing the feeling of a winner. Now her contacts can bring business to the Shen family with a single sentence, and they can also take away all clients with a single sentence.

Xu Zhiwei listened silently, he didn't expect that the entanglement between Gu Heng and Shen Lian was deeper than he thought.

Gu Heng took a deep breath and continued: "But at that time when I was in primary school

I just graduated, so I haven't thought about it that much.I just feel very happy to be able to go to junior high school with Shen Lian.We are still in the same class, I just want to try my best to treat him well.But I didn't expect that this would make Shen Lian's situation more difficult.I don't like to play with other people, but I'm always with him, and there are many girls in the class who like him, and the teacher often praises him, which makes some silly X jealous... At first, he kept it secret from me, Afraid of affecting me.But those people had no intention of restraining themselves.

"After I found out about the matter, I didn't think too much about it. I got into a fight with those people. My parents found out about it in the end. Old Gu, it's because I'm mad at me for not being smart enough to act like a reckless man. My mother, she Angry that I stood up for Shen Lian and gave him my heart and soul. She said that I was not like her son, haha, she just used the Shen family as a joke and a toy. She warned me that if I went crazy for Shen Lian again, she would Kick the Shen family out of business.

"Now you should understand why we got into No. [-] Middle School together? Because the students in No. [-] Middle School are relatively simple. Why do we pretend we don't know each other? Because I want to understand, what Shen Lian needs most in the three years of high school is a good friend." The environment, a peaceful and quiet environment, prepares for the college entrance examination and the future.

"It was I who told Shen Lian first that I would be talked about wherever I was, and I didn't want him to be fooled around, so I wouldn't look for him at school. This is what I agreed with Shen Lian."

Gu Heng finished speaking.

The two of them were still sitting facing each other.Xu Zhiwei's face was pale, it turned out that this was the truth of the matter.

He said in despair: "The person you like... is Shen Lian?"

This time Gu Heng paused for a longer time before slowly saying: "Yes. I like Shen Lian."

Xu Zhiwei suddenly remembered his favorite schoolbag when he was a child. The blue schoolbag had a small elephant printed on it, very beautiful.One day when he came home from school, he met his mother dragging a suitcase, and she was leaving.Xu Zhiwei desperately held her back, begging her not to leave, he struggled so hard that even his schoolbag fell to the ground.

Xu Wenkang stepped on it, kicked away his schoolbag, and shouted, "Let her go!"

A terrible shoe print was printed on the schoolbag, and no matter how he wiped it, the little blue elephant always left a faint shoe print stain.

Many years have passed, Xu Zhiwei doesn't know why, at this moment, the little blue elephant and that terrible footprint suddenly popped up in his mind, he hasn't been so sad for a long time.

But these, compared with Gu Heng's story, are so insignificant.

He couldn't even talk about it.

When you think about it, everything seems to make sense.Gu Heng really likes Shen Lian, that's why he is so concerned about gains and losses, cherishes it so much, and cherishes it so much that he doesn't want to break Shen Lian's peace.

Xu Zhiwei asked in a low voice: "You always draw the right side of my face at a certain angle, is it because it looks more like Shen Lian?"

Gu Heng said: "Zhiwei... I didn't realize it until I started drawing you. This is a coincidence."

But he did not reject such a coincidence.

Xu Zhiwei thought, so he was just a substitute by coincidence.because

Because there is no need to think about the future, family entanglements, and responsibilities, so getting along easily and killing time, Gu Heng doesn't mind whether he will be looked at with strange eyes.

That's how it is, always.

Xu Zhiwei seemed to see that little blue elephant again, why couldn't he always get a unique treasure.

He doesn't understand, is he unworthy?