phone lover

You can't lift your heads up. "

Shu Yan listened to An Yuan's answer, he wanted to know what kind of storm was on the other side.

"Mom, stop screaming, I really know that I have made you ashamed, and you can't hold your head up. I have known it since I was a child."

"I don't want to go to Jiangzhou to make you look down."

"I'm talking back to my cousin so you can't hold your head up."

"Uncle told you that I'm not easy to get along with so you can't hold your head up."

"I can't keep up with my homework so you can't hold your head up."

"My refusal to take the university entrance examination in Jiangzhou will make you look down."

"I don't want to stay in Jiangzhou after graduation so you can't hold your head up."

"I don't want relatives to come in wave after wave like flowing water to make you lose your head."

"I'm gay, and I'm letting you hold your head up."

"Mother."

Shu Yan saw An Yuan looking up at him, his eyes seemed gentle.

"Mom, I think so too, look up..."

An Yuan held the phone with a calm expression, and he looked gently into Shu Yan's eyes.

Mother was still yelling on the phone, An Yuan was the same as usual, listening in his ears, but thinking about other things in his mind.

Because the mother just wants to "obey", as long as you agree to everything she said in the end, then you can get a short period of peace and tranquility.

In fact, when his parents refused him to apply for a school outside his hometown, he stopped trying to communicate his ideas with them, because they didn't care.But they will use the most sincere words, thousands of reasons, and a little threat, a little pain, to make you believe that they are for your own good, they have paid the whole world for you, and if you do not follow their arrangement , then you offend the whole world for them.

But today, when he looked at Shu Yan who was sitting across from him, An Yuan thought maybe, maybe he could try to reason with his mother, although he had said it countless times, or try to refuse, although he had refused countless times, but He still wanted to try again.

Because Shu Yan was so close to him, so close that he could touch it with his hand.

Because Shu Yan's eyes were full of uneasiness, and the uneasiness was all for himself.

An Yuan even enjoys Shu Yan's obvious uneasiness a little bit: he is worried about himself, he is pity for himself, but An Yuan also feels sad about it, not only can't protect the person he likes, but he also wants the person he likes to remember him .

He was so useless, and he already knew he was useless.

But this time, An Yuan thought that everything on the other end of the phone was not important, as long as the person on the other side was still looking at him.

Not just uneasy, Anyuan hopes that he can also experience happiness, warmth, and satisfaction, just like the self on the phone, making the other party obsessed.

Wanna be me on the phone.

An Yuan thought.

The mother on the other end of the phone finally ran out of patience with An Yuan's indifference, and she hung up the phone angrily.

An Yuan knew that this was not the end, it was just another beginning.

But maybe this time, it will be different.

Once you get out of the closet, you don't want to go back, especially if someone is waiting for you outside.

An Yuan put down the phone, saw Shu Yan hesitated to speak, An Yuan smiled, and said, "Did it scare you?"

Shu Yan said, "No, no, well, a little bit."

An Yuan said, "I'm sorry."

Shu Yan shook his head: "Why do you say sorry to me, you are not wrong, you don't need to say sorry when you are right."

An Yuan lowered his head and smiled, Shu Yan remembered what he said clearly, but neither of them did well.

I'm sorry for making you worry, I'm sorry for making you afraid, I'm sorry for letting you see me so useless.

There are many words that cannot be said, and can only be replaced by these three words.

An Yuan thought when we could replace these three words?

In fact, the problem is out with me.

Xu Pingchuan's phone call put an end to this noisy dinner.Shu Yan got up to leave, An Yuan said, "I'll take you back."

Shu Yan pointed to his mouth, and he said softly, "No, we're all drinking."

Shu Yan's lips are thin and pale, and look very tender, An Yuan is a little distracted.

He suddenly thought: Mom, I really can't change it, I was born gay, and my heart beats when I see this person.

In the end, Shu Yan called a taxi and left, and An Yuan took a taxi back to his home.

Of course, if that counts as your own home.

Entering the house is really like a typhoon passing through.

The cousin is not here, I think she is looking for her boyfriend to find warmth.Only at this time can she remember her own integrity, and use a few nights less to put on the posture of "not eating what comes from you".Of course, there will be a strong comeback in the future, because it will never be her fault, so why should she dodge?Those who stand at the highest point of self-morality will never lose.

An Yuan knew that he was the one who lost.

But not this time.

My favorite long-haired carpet in the living room has been stained by red wine, and I think it can't be washed off.

An Yuan opened his wine cabinet with a calm expression, and there were some wines he bought, as well as some that Song Zhifei had given him back then. After counting the number, there were indeed a few missing, including Song Zhifei's of course.

An Yuan put it away for ten years, and it was ended in this way.

Walking to his bedroom, the unfinished portrait inside was indeed broken.

He thinks his cousin is so angry, is this a dead end?

He strokes the scratches on the painting, which had been his last.

But in fact, it should not be the last one. He later painted the wall painting of the restaurant: Don Quixote alone in the sunflower field, he wants to defeat the windmill.

No, not a windmill, but a giant.

An Yuan touched this portrait of Song Zhifei, and he thought that he was the one to defeat.

An Yuan sat on the sofa in the living room, looking at the mess in the room, he couldn't remember how many times it was.

Those cherished things that I once wanted to protect are no longer there.

An Yuan looked at the carpet under his feet, the wine red color on it had been smudged and blended with the white carpet, how obsessed he was with the feeling of sitting on it late at night and calling that person on the phone.Now the phone is gone, the rug is gone, but luckily, the man is still there.

He said he likes it.

An Yuan bent down and stroked the soft long hair, and said softly, "Shu Yan."

The cousin came back earlier than expected.

She returned to An Yuan's house aggressively at noon the next day, completely ignoring the tidy environment again, as if she had been like this when she left.

"I'm moving out! I don't want to live with a gay like you," she said.

An Yuan nodded and said, "Okay."

My cousin said, "Don't you feel ashamed?"

An Yuan was surprised: "You don't even feel ashamed, what am I ashamed of?"

"What am I ashamed of? What's your attitude, Anyuan? Do you know that you are perverted? You are sick!"

An Yuan still nodded: "I know, I knew it a long time ago, thank you for knowing but living here without saying anything, I really wronged you. Now you finally don't have to bear the burden of living with a pervert, I congratulate you. I packed your luggage and put it at the door of the guest room, you can just take it away.”

"You moved my things? Anyuan, you moved my things without my consent? Who gave you the right to take my things?! Have you learned this in Jiangzhou for so many years?"

An Yuan laughed angrily: "So because you haven't been in Jiangzhou for so many years, you can mess with my things at will? Isn't it? Cousin, I call you cousin now because our layer is too weak No matter how weak the blood relationship is, do you really need me to remind you? When you came, you brought a travel bag, you have been eating mine and living in mine, and your shitty boyfriend, your so-called It's just your closet and the mess that's in your bedside table, of course you can go in and check it out now, but I'm telling you, you can't take me, my home, anything, because it's my home, check After it's over, please you and your boyfriend, you all get out together!"

The cousin was trembling with anger. She pointed at An Yuan and said, "Don't you see what you are? Aren't you afraid of embarrassing your uncles and aunts? An Yuan, you are really good. You took advantage of everything, but now you are like this To us? Ha, I thought you’d gotten better over the years, at least looking like a dog, but in the end, you’re still the same as before, doing whatever you want.”

An Yuan sat on the carpet and looked at his cousin's distorted face due to anger. He felt a rare sense of comfort in his heart. How many years has it been since he felt this way?After my cousin comes?After coming to Jiangzhou?After knowing that you can only get quiet if you are obedient?An Yuan can't remember clearly, he can't even remember when his cousin said "before" and "do whatever you want", but it's not too late.

It's not too late, is it?As long as you are willing to start, it is not too late, right?

An Yuan smiled and said to his cousin, "I won't lose you if I lose anyone. Don't worry about it. I didn't take advantage of anyone and I didn't take advantage of you. You don't have to be cold. As for what I was like before, what I am now , you don’t have to worry about what happens in the future, it has nothing to do with you, just take care of yourself and your boyfriend.”

The cousin angrily went to get the luggage. She pulled the suitcase with her chest up and raised her proud head. She stood at the entrance and looked down at An Yuan who was sitting in the living room. She said, "An Yuan, you make me sick."

An Yuan nodded, and he said, "Got it, you've said it several times."

"An Yuan, that person yesterday, does he know that you like someone else?"

An Yuan looked at her coldly: "What's none of your business? Besides, he and I are just friends."

"An Yuan, I despise you."

"Thank you, I don't need you to look up to me."

"Hehe." The cousin sneered twice, "Anyuan, you will regret it."

An Yuan stood up, walked to the door, opened the door, looked at his cousin standing aside, and said, "Maybe, but I don't regret it now, walk slowly, don't send it off."