phone lover

After saying this, Shu Yan led Song Zhifei away. When passing by the waiters, he didn't forget to ask them to take care of their boss and ask him what he wanted to eat.

Seeing Shu Yan doing this, Song Zhifei smiled and said, "You and An Yuan really have a very good relationship. It seems that what he said about the story and fate are true."

Shu Yan shook his head with a smile, he said nothing, he was just a pretty close friend, so he would naturally pay more attention to it.

"Hehe." Song Zhifei looked at Shu Yan's face and said softly, "I still envy you all."

Shu Yan stopped, looked at Song Zhifei's face and said seriously, "I envy you."

"We're not talking about the same thing," Song Zhifei said.

Shu Yan just laughed and didn't continue the topic.

When Song Zhifei and Shu Yan returned to their seats, An Yuan was eating.

In fact, he saw Shu Yan and Song Zhifei walking over talking and laughing all the way, and An Yuan felt very uncomfortable.

Song Zhifei still looked so good.

He just shines right there.

An Yuan knew that those little girls and those female customers would be taken away when Song Zhifei passed by. Of course, there were also men, such as himself.

But Shu Yan was thin, not tall, and his expression was always gentle. Compared with the people around him, he had a clean temperament. Walking beside Song Zhifei, it was like a shadow drowning in a sea of ​​people.

But what does it matter?

Why should he care what other people think of him?

No.

The best ideas are also the most selfish.

An Yuan hoped that no one would pay attention to him.

As long as you look at him yourself, that's enough.

The three sat together and chatted for a while, the atmosphere was not very harmonious.

An Yuan found that the two of them had endless things to talk about, but the three of them had nothing to talk about together.

Song Zhifei and Shu Yan chatted happily over wine, sitting on the sidelines and didn't know what to say.

He had already ordered the waiter to bring a third cup of coffee.

Only then did Shu Yan ask, as if he and Song Zhifei had come back from a fugue in outer space: "Why do you drink so much coffee?"

"Thirsty." An Yuan's tone was firm.

"Oh." Shu Yan agreed, and continued to chat with Song Zhifei.

Anyuan felt chest tightness.

He stood up and said, "Excuse me, I'm going out for a cigarette."

"I'll go with you." Shu Yan also stood up and nodded to Song Zhifei, "I'll smoke one too."

Song Zhifei said, "Then let's go together, I smoke too."

All three stood up, but no one took the first step.

An Yuan looked at Shu Yan, then at Song Zhifei, sighed and said, "Don't go out, anyway, we're done eating, let's go sit in the smoking area...you come with me."

Shu Yan said, "Will it be too troublesome?"

An Yuan: "It won't be more troublesome than three men standing at the back door smoking."

"By the way, when did you learn to smoke?" An Yuan asked in a low voice.

"Just now." Shu Yan approached An Yuan and said in a low voice, "I was afraid that it would be boring for you to be alone."

An Yuan's expression finally relaxed. He wanted to reach out and rub Shu Yan's hair, but because of Song Zhifei's presence, he held back.

Walking to the suction transfer area, An Yuan found an empty booth, and the three of them sat down.

Song Zhifei took out a cigarette and lit it, only to find that the two people on the opposite side did not move.

"Didn't you come to smoke?"

An Yuan: "I didn't touch it just now, I don't know where I put the cigarette."

"At Shu Yan's place."

"Um?"

"I said the cigarettes are at Shu Yan's place. Didn't he just take them away?"

"Ah, it's here." Shu Yan took out the cigarette case from his pocket and handed it to An Yuan, "I forgot to give it to you, you can smoke now."

An Yuan said thank you, took the cigarette, and Song Zhifei picked up the lighter and stood up to light it for him. For a moment, Song Zhifei's body was so close that An Yuan could smell the faint scent of perfume coming from him.

An Yuan lowered his eyelids and said thank you, Song Zhifei smiled and sat back in his seat.

"By the way, this painting..." Song Zhifei fixed his gaze on the opposite wall, and said, "An Yuan, you painted it, right?"

Song Zhifei's voice was very sure, not a question.

"Yes." An Yuan nodded.

"The last time I saw it, I thought it was very beautiful. When I saw it again today, I felt very familiar. I don't think I've seen this painting before."

An Yuan thought, yes, it is the one I gave you when you graduated.

"I remember you painted very well in high school. I passed by the studio a few times and saw you painting very attentively inside."

An Yuan said yes. At that time, there was nothing else to do except painting.

"No way... I still remember the time when you got into a fight with someone and broke your hand. At that time you..."

Crack - crisp cracking sound.

Song Zhifei and An Yuan stopped talking and looked at Shu Yan.

Shu Yan panicked, "I'm sorry, I accidentally broke the cup."

An Yuan looked down and saw that the glass had been broken into several petals, and there were countless fine residues, and Shu Yan's trousers were splashed wet.

Seeing that Shu Yan wanted to bend down to pick up the fragments, he quickly grabbed Shu Yan's hand.

"I'll just ask them to clean it up, don't do it, and cut your hands later."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to."

"I know, it's nothing, don't say sorry, you didn't make a mistake, it's just an accident."

An Yuan called the waiter to clean the place, and he said, "Let's change another table, let's go to the next one."

Shu Yan shook his head and said, "Forget it, let's talk, my pants are wet, I want to go back, and I have to go out for a day of running tomorrow, I want to go first."

Song Zhifei looked at his watch and said it was getting late, so let's stop here today, anyway, since we are all acquaintances, there are still plenty of opportunities to get together, not just today.

An Yuan said it's ok, let's do it for today, do you know if you are driving?You should stop driving after drinking, stop at our side, take a taxi and go.

Song Zhifei said that I also meant the same thing. I leave my car here and I will pick it up tomorrow.

"Then I too..." Shu Yan wanted to say that I also took a taxi and left, but as soon as he opened his mouth, An Yuan said you wait first, Xiao Zhang at the front desk just needs to find you, so you can stay for a while?He will leave work immediately.

Shu Yan nodded in agreement, then sent Song Zhifei to the side of the road with An Yuan, and left after seeing him get into the car.

"Do you know what Xiao Zhang wants from me?" Shu Yan asked.

"Huh? Oh. I misremembered that, he didn't look for you."

Shu Yan said, "An Yuan, what are you doing?"

"It's nothing, I just misremembered it for a moment." An Yuan's cigarette was not finished, and it was caught in his fingers, swaying in the dark.

"Then..." Shu Yan hesitated for a moment, but still asked, "You and Song Zhifei are very familiar?"

"Forget it, let's not talk about this." Shu Yan touched his forehead, "I may be a little anxious to drink, so my brain is not so easy to use. Think about it, you are classmates in high school. How can you not know each other for so many years? What? Song Zhifei wouldn’t have brought me here if I didn’t know him well.”

"Shu Yan..."

"Anyuan, I have a headache. If it's okay, I won't go back to the store. I'll take a taxi here and go back to the dormitory." Shu Yan smiled tiredly, "Don't see me off, don't drive after drinking .”

"Why don't you take a break in my shop first, I think you don't look very well." An Yuan said worriedly, "Well, Song Zhifei and I are high school classmates..."

"Huh?" Shu Yan interrupted An Yuan's words, "Didn't you just say this? I just asked casually, and it didn't mean much. Ah, there's a car over there, An Yuan, I'll go back first."

The car slowly stopped beside Shu Yan, opened the door, Shu Yan said goodbye to An Yuan with a smile.The moment he turned around and got into the car, An Yuan grabbed Shu Yan's arm.

"I see you off."

"It's really not necessary." Shu Yan shook his head and said, "You don't need to send me, I'm fine, and I had a good chat today... Don't worry."

"But……"

"I'll tell you when I get home?" Shu Yan shook the phone in his hand, "I'll send you a message when I get home, is that okay?"

An Yuan wanted to say something else, but Shu Yan hurriedly said: "The driver is getting anxious, let's turn around and say, I'm leaving, you should go home and rest early." Then Shu Yan got into the car, smiled and talked with An Yuan He waved his hand and closed the door.

The car drove for a while before Shu Yan dared to look back out the window.

In fact, nothing can be seen, the night is too dark.

The smile on his face could no longer be held back, Shu Yan leaned on the seat, looking at the flickering lights in front of him, he thought: Jealousy...it's really scary.

When returning to the dormitory, Xu Pingchuan was lying on the bed reading magazines as usual.Shu Yan took a shower and climbed back to his own bed, and covered himself with the quilt without saying a word.

"Did you get drugged in the food you ate today? Why are you dumb when you come back?" Xu Pingchuan put the magazine aside and started kicking Shu Yan, who was tightly wrapped in the blanket, "How do you feel about dating today? Isn't it exciting?"

"Hey, why don't you talk anymore, I've been waiting for you all night."

"Don't pretend to be asleep, I know you're not asleep."

"Hey, talk! What's wrong with you? Why don't you tell me?! Let me, the spiritual mentor, analyze it for you."

"Shu Yan, aren't you crying under the quilt? Why don't your shoulders shake when you cry? Come, let me see if you are crying." Xu Pingchuan lifted Shu Yan's quilt with both hands while speaking.

Shu Yan was so troubled that he threw off the quilt and sat up.

"Xu Pingchuan, did you drink too much? Can't I just sleep?"

Xu Pingchuan approached Shu Yan, sniffed it, laughed and said, "I smell like you've drunk too much. Why don't you sleep, tell me about your date with Mr. Song tonight?"

Shu Yan glanced at Xu Pingchuan, then stretched out the quilt and fell on the bed. He moved and turned his back to Xu Pingchuan.

Xu Pingchuan said: "Shu Yan, what's wrong? You are abnormal..."

The room was so quiet that only the chirping of cicadas could be heard outside the window.

It is summer.

Shu Yan turned his back to Xu Pingchuan, his soft hair sticking to the pillow and shaking slightly with his breath, he said:

"Xu Pingchuan, have you ever regretted it?"

Xu Pingchuan said: "There are too many, too many to count. If you feel entangled because of regret, I advise you to get up quickly, have a late-night snack and then watch variety shows. These are much better than you are now. Don't you I heard that there is no regret drug in the world? What, you regret going on a date with Mr. Song?"

"Sorry."

"Do you regret what he did to you, or do you regret what he didn't do to you?" Xu Pingchuan asked.

Wrapped in a quilt, Shu Yan turned around with difficulty, and shouted at Xu Pingchuan: "Get out!"

Xu Pingchuan murmured, "Why are you so mad at me and spread it on me? I provoked you... Oh, my cell phone rang, where did I put it..."

Xu Pingchuan finally found his mobile phone under the pillow. It had already rang for the second time. Xu Pingchuan looked at the caller ID on the screen of the mobile phone and was a little puzzled. He said, "Anyuan? Why is he calling me at this hour?"

Shu Yan sat up all of a sudden, he took out his mobile phone, and found that it had already been turned off because of the dead battery.

"Give me, give me, give me!" Shu Yan reached out to Xu Pingchuan, "Give me the phone!"

Xu Pingchuan didn't answer the phone while holding the phone. He heard the phone ringing quickly, and said unhurriedly: "How did you know you were called? Maybe you have something to do with me."

"Give it or not, don't regret it if you don't give it! By the way, you just said that you don't regret selling the medicine!" Shu Yan lifted the quilt and got out of bed, walked to Xu Pingchuan and stretched out his palm, "Here."

Xu Pingchuan gave the phone to Shu Yan with a click of his tongue, and Shu Yan connected the phone immediately, and he said, "Hello...I'm Shu Yan."

"My phone died, I just found out."

"I'm fine, everything is fine, I'm already in bed."

"Today's business is very good. I have nothing to do. You and Song Zhifei are both very good. I didn't expect everyone to know each other. What a fate."

"It's getting late, I'm going to bed, you should go to bed early too."

"Anyuan, I'm really fine. I'm dead."

Shu Yan hung up the phone, thought for a while, and then turned off Xu Pingchuan's cell phone.

Xu Pingchuan stood aside and listened to Shu Yan talking on the phone, and seeing that Shu Yan had turned off his mobile phone, he sighed deeply and said, "What? Did An Yuan see you on a date with Mr. Song today? I told you earlier, or Don't step on two boats... If I had to choose, I would choose Anyuan... I think Anyuan..."

"Choose a fart!" Shu Yan threw Xu Pingchuan's cell phone on Xu's bed, "When are you going out to have sex? I'm not used to you staying at home every night."

Xu Pingchuan picked up his mobile phone and stuffed it back under the pillow, he said: "Ancestor, I think, what's the matter, you can tell me, although I can't figure out my own affairs, after all, I am a bystander, right? Maybe you Telling me will help? No matter how bad it is, if you use me as a trash can and spit out the words, it will also relieve your mood, right? Don't keep sulking."

"I'm not sullen." Shu Yan said softly, "I'm not angry... I'm just stuffy, tight in my chest. What should I do, Xu Pingchuan? I want to be an ostrich with my head stuck in the sand, but now, now, now Someone is going to pull my head out."

Xu Pingchuan's eyebrows were twisted like twists. He looked at Shu Yan very worried, and said: "Shu Yan, pull out this head, just pull it out, it will suffocate if it is always buried in the ground. If there is anything you think you can't Spread it out? If there is, then you might as well bury people and things in it completely, instead of burying your head in it again and again, everyone passing by can see your ass, and someone can kick you Someone can touch you, even if someone blows your ass, it's a matter of minutes, and you are really at the mercy of others at this time."

Shu Yan thought for a while, and said doubtfully, "Why do I feel that what I told you and what you told me are two different things?"

Xu Pingchuan smiled disdainfully, he said: "Fake it, you can just pretend it, whoever hurts will know, don't cry in bed in the middle of the night, it will affect my sleep."

Shu Yan lay back on the bed, with his hands resting on his head, he saw that there were some tiny gaps in the ceiling and walls, he thought how old this house was, no matter how strong the city wall was, cracks would appear over time .

Shu Yan thought that he had built a wall for himself, allowing him to hide behind the wall and gain a short period of peace.

But the crack appeared silently, and then slowly extended, expanded, and scattered branches, Shu Yan was powerless to resist.

But Shu Yan didn't have enough confidence.

When it collapsed last time, Shu Yan took a long time to rebuild it brick by brick, so what about this time?Do you want to rebuild again?

He didn't know what he was going to face when the wall came crashing down.

No, Shu Yan closed his eyes fiercely, thinking: I know.

So is it acceptable?Can you face it?Can you not back down?Is it possible not to escape?

If I'm real, are you real?Are you? !

Are you? Mr. A.

Xu Pingchuan answered a phone call with a bad tone. Shu Yan wanted to ask what was going on, but after Xu Pingchuan hung up, he got up and changed his clothes. He glanced at Shu Yan's direction, probably thinking that he had already rested So Xu Pingchuan didn't say anything, but left the room in a hurry.

He didn't forget to turn off the light before leaving.

Shu Yan fell into the darkness all of a sudden.

click.It was the sound of locking the door.

Xu Pingchuan left, and he was the only one left in this house.

Shu Yan closed his eyes, but couldn't fall asleep for a long time. Shu Yan sat up, and he looked at the phone, it was fully charged.

This night is really too dark.

Shu Yan felt that he was surrounded by the night, with only a little light from his mobile phone, which made him feel that he was not alone in this world.

There have been countless nights like this, bewitching him, persuading him, and luring him into real desires again and again.

Shu Yan took the phone and turned it on, and soon the mailbox was flooded with text messages from An Yuan.While flipping through the text messages, Shu Yan recalled the scenes of tonight, he was suddenly a little impulsive...but he was soon suppressed by himself...he couldn't think about it, he couldn't do it this way, he really said goodbye back then.

The card lay in the first drawer of the bedside table.Press it at the bottom of your own books.

Shu Yan could easily turn it out, even if the night fog was thick, he could find this card that he had touched countless times in one fell swoop.

Many times he wanted to change to this card, call it, and ask all the words that were squeezed in his heart.

But Shu Yan thought that if he really did this, then what was his previous decision...

With the card already in his hand, Shu Yan hesitated for a long time.

In the end, he turned off the phone, took out the calling card inside, and replaced it with the one in his hand.

I just want to see the message he sent before.

I just want to confirm my thoughts.

I just wanted to... find a reason.

Shu Yan turned on the phone, but no text message came in.

Shu Yan thought, is it really over...

After closing the phone, Shu Yan closed his eyes and laughed at his thick skin.

A burst of music suddenly sounded in the middle of the night... Shu Yan suddenly opened his eyes, and every nerve in his body tensed up.

He raised his phone and looked at the caller ID on the screen: Mr. A.

The ringtone of the mobile phone stubbornly echoed in the room, over and over again.

The other party didn't give up because no one answered for a long time. Shu Yan's cell phone rang repeatedly. The song was cheerful, but it seemed particularly ironic in the middle of the night at this time.

Shu Yan looked at the flashing names with complicated emotions.

Answering or not answering seems to be deception.

Shu Yan remembered that there was a night when he kept dialing Mr. A's number. From night to sunrise, no one paid any attention to his phone calls, his rare paranoia, or his silent tears... Mr. A, can you feel it?

At this moment, do you have the slightest feeling of that kind?

Mr. A, are you impatient now?

Why didn't the person on the opposite side of the impatient answer the phone? Why didn't anyone answer it even though they were able to get through?

Mr. A, are you angry now?

Are you angry that the other party gave you a chance but avoided it?

Mr. A, are you afraid now?

Afraid that something happened to the other party so there is no way to answer the phone?Will you go through all the bad situations in your mind, and then just ask him to get through the phone to report that you are safe?

Mr. A, are you desperate now?

No matter how many times you call, no one will answer. You can only watch the sky change and time go by, and you are in this world, unchanged.

Until the end, there was only an endless blank in my mind.

People are the scariest when they cannot deceive themselves.

Hearing the ringtone, Shu Yan couldn't help smiling wryly. He thought, so he was so scary. He used to think that the clouds would be calm and the wind would be light, or that time could take away everything. But until now, he didn't realize that he cared too much. A He remembered Mr. A's kindness in his heart, and he never forgot Mr. A's badness.

The phone rings off, then rings again, over and over again.

Shu Yan thought, is this my little revenge?

Isn't this revenge that once crushed me small for Mr. A?

Shu Yan picked up the phone, he wanted to put the phone in the drawer, at the moment he was like a child bewitched by bad guys, he didn't want to think about the result.

But when he opened the second drawer, a dark green velvet box lay there.

The bright light of the mobile phone screen and the green mixed together and blended into the night, making the appearance of the box not so clear, but this is the same as Shu Yan knew the location of this mobile phone card, of course he also knew the small box Just put it here.

Inside is a pair of cufflinks.

He checked it online and asked others, and Shu Yan already knew that it was a pair of lapis lazuli cufflinks, blue stone ground into a square shape and inlaid with golden edges.

This is a gift from An Yuan.

An Yuan is a person who makes Shu Yan feel safe.

Shu Yan likes to be with An Yuan, it seems that with him, An Yuan can arrange everything, no worries, no worries, no fears.

Nothing can break him, not even a distorted family, not even an impetuous society.

It should not be me.Shu Yan thought, it shouldn't be me.

The bell rang again, the phone was placed next to the box, and Mr. A was still on the screen.

Shu Yan took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He laughed at himself for being so nervous, but it was just... answering the phone.

The mobile phone was moved to the side of the pillow, Shu Yan pressed the speakerphone as before, and then he pressed the connect button.

The bell finally stopped.

Shu Yan didn't speak, and the other side was also silent.

I don't know how long it has passed, maybe a few minutes, maybe a few seconds, it is as long as a century in Shuyan.

The other party's voice finally traveled through the current again.

He said, "Honey, is that you?"

Shu Yan felt as if he was drowning in the deep sea for a moment, he nodded to the phone, although the other party couldn't see him, he still nodded and said, "It's me."

"I... didn't think I could get through this call." The other party said, "I thought there would be a day when I wouldn't get through."

Shu Yan held the phone and said softly, "I thought so too."

"Well, today... why did you pick up... no, don't answer this, when I didn't ask... I just want to say I'm happy, baby, I'm really happy."

"Why didn't you let me answer...Are you afraid of embarrassing me? Mr. A." Shu Yan said slowly, "Because I said goodbye to you, but I still changed the card..."

"No...that's not what it means... baby, no, you're fine, really. All the faults are on me... After that day, I thought a lot, and... I went through a lot, and I call you every day The phone...in the middle of the night...every day is turned off...I fantasize about one day I can make this call, and then we will be the same as before..."

"Same as before?" Shu Yan interrupted Mr. A, "When did you mean before? Do you mean to let us pretend that nothing happened? You can continue to say that you have How much do you like that person, and then we talk and make love as if nothing happened?"

"I didn't mean that, baby, listen to me..." The other party's voice became obviously hurried.

Shu Yan shook his head, buried his face in the pillow, and said, "No, this time, only this time, can you listen to me?"

At this moment, Shu Yan felt that everything he had accumulated and buried in the ground with his head, so many grievances, so many worries, and some unwillingness, or, a little bit of hatred, I can't help but want to gush out at this moment.

For the first time, he really wanted to have a frank chat with Mr. A.Not listening, not being gentle, not smiling, not being strong.

If you don't say it at this time, what is the point of answering the phone?Just to prove that I still care about him, I still miss him, do I still like him...

Yes, these are all, the answer is not in doubt.

However, it cannot be just these, if it is only these, then it is indeed no different from "before".

"Mr. A, I like you. I think you are very clear about this. Because I was too obvious, isn't it? Because I like you, I cut off contact again and again, because I like you, I cut off contact again and again It's kind of silly to get back in touch, right?"

"Me, at the beginning, hehe, before you like me, I really wanted to find someone to talk to at night. Because I was really lonely, always by myself, I didn't know what to do , I don’t know where to go, or I feel that there is no way to go, and I don’t have the desire to go. And you appear, you are cute and real, right...Real, at least I think it is real. With you Chatting makes me feel like I am chatting with a good friend for many years, there is no burden, no pressure, um, yes, and it can relieve sexual desire.”

"But slowly this thing began to get out of track, and I began to care more and more about you. You are no longer just a voice appearing in the middle of the night. I will imagine what you look like, whether you are tall or not, handsome or not Handsome, what kind of work, what kind of life. Slowly, I would think of you when I was working during the day, wondering if you were busy too, I was a little scared at that time, I thought I might like you."

"But what if you like it? You are so far away, and you still have someone you like, but I can only huddle in a corner of this city, living an unchanging life. We are like parallel lines, there is no intersection. In fact, I I understand. I can convince myself that I like this thing, especially when I only like it a little bit, it is easy to give up. But I never thought that I would like you more and more, it is strange ?You are just a voice on the phone, but I am so obsessed with it. I began to envy you, the person I have loved for ten years, jealous, very jealous, very jealous. But when I think about it, I feel that he is so far away, more than me and you It's still far away, and I still have a phone with you, and you have nothing with him, so I darkly hope that you may never get in touch again. So maybe I still have a chance? Is it as long as I Be brave, be brave, I can still get close to you and walk to you, right?"

"The opportunity came very suddenly. I think God should help me. Dreams and love can be combined. Who else in the world will be luckier than me? I am ready for everything, just waiting for you, waiting for you...etc. Me. But what I waited for was that you and your secret love regained contact... Ah, I thought at that time, I have to bear all the malice in the world."

"Later, you also know that I'm in Jiangzhou, I'm still holding on to hope, I'm still waiting for you... But, Mr. A."

"Don't hurt me again and again just because I like you..."

"You say you call me every day, you say you like me so much, but in the end, you still say you're messed up, you don't know what to do, you need time... When you say these things Have you ever thought that I don’t have it? It’s not about oral baby or something. I don’t need you to say you like me and say sorry at the same time. It’s useless to me. You know what I want. Since you , since you can’t do it, just say goodbye to me, don’t call me again, I can actually get better, I can really get better, I just need, need some time..."

Shu Yan adjusted his breathing, his voice was already a little choked, but he didn't want to cry because he had cried too many times.

It is difficult for Shu Yan to accept his weak and humble self, but he always puts on this appearance in front of Mr. A.

"I have long wanted to tell you all these words one day. Although it is embarrassing and resentful, I still want to tell you... In fact, I have told myself countless times that since I choose Don’t pick it up again when you put it down, because telling the truth about your feelings will not make people think highly of yourself, I should look forward.”

"But it's hard."

"Like today, I couldn't hold back, I changed this card, and I couldn't hold back, I answered your call...Actually, I didn't want to say this...Mr. A, I really, didn't start I wanted to say this, I wanted to make a good impression on you even if I never contacted again..."

"But... Hey, Mr. A, really don't call this card every day, and don't talk about wanting to go back to the past, because the past is really uncomfortable for me."

"Mr. A, I told you everything because I want to tell you that I really want to see you again. I have been waiting for you to come to me... I have been waiting for too long...Mr. A, can you now Tell me, do you still like him? That ten years?"

"No, no, I don't like him anymore, I really don't like him anymore, I only like you, baby, don't leave me, I only like you, I really can't let you leave me anymore, baby, you Forgive me, can you forgive me? Is it too late for me to go find you now? I will go there right away, Shu Yan, can you wait for me a little longer?!"

Shu Yan...

When Shu Yan heard his name, he finally closed his eyes and whispered:

"Mr. A, you really don't need to look for me anymore..."

"Oh, I have someone I like more."

"he's good."

"I don't ask too much, I just want him to like me, and I only like him."

"But he seems a little timid..."

"So... let me take care of all your worries and concerns. I'm not a good person, right? Mr. A."

The corners of Shu Yan's mouth slowly curled up, and he said:

"Okay, Mr. A, I've been talking for so long, this time I really see you again." Shu Yan said with a smile, "I really had a good time talking today, and all this can finally disappear, Mr. A, thank you, I'm going to move forward, so I won't wait for you."

Shu Yan hung up the phone with a smile, tears falling down one by one.

Slowly dismantling the back of the phone and pulling out the SIM card, Shu Yan's tears were still streaming silently.Starting from the corner of the eyes, it slowly slid across the face and flowed down to the chin. Shu Yan lowered his eyelids slightly, and his eyelashes became wet.

He knew that he was abnormal today, and all the things he had suppressed exploded all at once.

Shu Yan remembered the dinner at Ursky, and An Yuan looked at Song Zhifei with pitifully averted eyes.

Shu Yan saw one thing clearly in an instant: he was always the one who was late in the relationship.

So, is it possible to hide more by pretending to be happier?Will you get more by pretending to be sensible?Will you pretend that you don't care that you really don't care?

Shu Yan listened to the hesitant conversation between An Yuan and Song Zhifei, and saw An Yuan's flustered eyes when facing Song Zhifei, his heart clenched together.

It was at that moment that Shu Yan realized that his desire was more naked when he got away from the phone.

Don't want to like him only in your head, don't want to have him only on the phone, don't want him to be yours only when the two of you are alone.

Whether it is friends or colleagues, ordinary people who pass by are fine all the time, in front of these people, he still only looks at himself, thinks about himself, no need to dodge, no need to avoid, There is not even a need for burning emotion, just looking at each other with tenderness and openness.

Shu Yan wasn't sure, he didn't know if his guess was correct, but he didn't regret it.

The card in his hand has been with him for more than half a year, and he and Mr. A have also known each other for more than half a year.Although compared with ordinary lovers, this time may be too short, at best it is the beginning of the relationship, but let's end this tangled love like this.

End it, really end it, only the end can begin again.

Shu Yan got out of bed, went to the window and opened it.

The moonlight in the distance poured like water on the swaying leaves outside the window, Shu Yan spread out his palm, it was the small calling card.