Leisurely with the wind

"wind."

A familiar voice, a familiar title, a familiar person.

Strange circumstances, strange mentality, strange people.

Chu Suifeng lost all the ability to organize words, and her heart was filled with the urge to escape, but she couldn't take a step. She felt that she couldn't breathe, couldn't think, and time seemed to be forbidden.

"Feng, are you okay?" Xu Youran didn't know why she said such words, but at this moment, the thousand words in her heart could not be uttered. Those former vows of eternal love have become a joke. The familiar sweet words have long lost their original effect, all words seem so pale, and all actions seem so false. In fact, at this moment, Xu Youran has only one thought in his mind, rush forward!hold her!

But Xu Youran didn't dare, she didn't even dare to take a step forward, because she saw the timidity in Chu Suifeng's out-of-focus eyes, and she was afraid that her extra movements would directly scare the other party away.

A long time passed, so long that Xu Youran thought that Chu Suifeng hadn't heard her words, but at this moment Xu Youran didn't know what to do next.

Fortunately, Chu Suifeng finally responded, but such a response was definitely not what Xu Youran wanted, but she couldn't ask for more.

"It's okay. Youran, long time no see, why are you here?"

Chu Suifeng's voice sounds very stiff, and if you listen carefully, you can find the trembling in it. Chu Suifeng himself doesn't know how she regained the ability to speak, but feels that every muscle of her is very stiff. The movements are like rusty machines, turning with great effort.

"I, I came here to discuss business, and I happened to see you, then, I just wanted to see you, I..." Xu Youran had never realized that speaking was such a difficult thing, and that she was still nervous , still excited, and so concerned about things.

In the past few years, Xu Youran almost forgot when was the last time her heart was beating so violently, everything was so ordinary, it seemed that nothing, any person, could stir her heart, no matter what she faced Regarding how lively the environment is, she seems to have been drifting away, but now, she has returned to reality once again.

"Oh, that's it, it's good, it's good here. Well, I, I still have work, so I'll go first." Chu Suifeng finally mastered her ability to act, and she hoped that she could behave as well as possible. It seems to be running away, so I found a reason for myself, which is actually not a reason. Although she is resting today, according to her past habits, at this time, she has already washed up in the dormitory, and then took the initiative to work overtime. Just by convention.

But today, Chu Suifeng obviously miscalculated, and it is impossible to continue as usual.

"Feng, wait a minute." Seeing that Chu Suifeng was about to leave, Xu Youran couldn't bear it any longer, and stepped forward to grab Chu Suifeng's hand.

And Chu Suifeng shook off Xu Youran's hand like an electric shock, and then looked at Xu Youran in horror.

In an instant, Chu Suifeng seemed to wake up, backed away in a hurry, and no longer dared to look at Xu Youran, lowered his head, hesitating like a child who had done something wrong.

Xu Youran was very sad. She was not sad that Chu Suifeng threw off her hand, but that Chu Suifeng reacted so violently. In Chu Suifeng's heart, she must be very hateful and terrifying.

She tried her best to hope that she could behave more naturally and look more harmless. She stretched out her hand and approached Chu Suifeng cautiously, and said softly: "I'm sorry, Feng, I, I, I didn't want to scare you, I, I just I hope we can talk about the old days, whatever, I, I just want to have a good talk with you."

Chu Suifeng lowered her head, with annoyance in her eyes, her heart was very confused, and her mind went blank, but she still listened to Xu Youran's request, and found that she had no way to refuse.

Chu Suifeng didn't speak, but just nodded.

Xu Youran was very pleasantly surprised by this reaction. She took Chu Suifeng into her car. Originally, she hoped that Chu Suifeng could sit in the passenger seat, but Chu Suifeng walked to the back seat by himself.

Xu Youran didn't want to make Chu Suifeng uncomfortable because of such a trivial matter, since everyone was already in the car anyway.

Driving away from the factory, Xu Youran didn't know where to go. She wanted to go back to the villa directly, but she was afraid that Chu Suifeng would be disgusted, so she could only wander aimlessly on the street. Parked on a remote side of the street, surrounded by suburban wasteland, almost no human habitation, Xu Youran didn't even know how to drive back later.

Turned off the engine, Xu Youran leaned on the seat, and mustered up the courage to turn her head to look at Chu Suifeng, only to find that Chu Suifeng had kept his head down in a daze, as if he hadn't noticed that he had stopped the car at all. .

Seeing Chu Suifeng's devastated state, Xu Youran felt even more distressed, how could she be so stupid, hurting herself and the person she loved the most.

"wind."

Xu Youran's voice made Chu Suifeng wake up all of a sudden, she raised her head and looked at Xu Youran in a dazed panic, as if she didn't know what Xu Youran wanted to do.

"Feng, let's talk, let's have a good talk." Xu Youran looked at Chu Suifeng hesitantly, the feeling of heartache that made her unable to breathe almost swallowed her, "Feng, how have you been all these years?" ?”

Chu Suifeng nodded, and Xu Youran felt that he was just talking nonsense!

She opened her mouth several times, but when the words came to her lips, she couldn't say anything.

"Feng, I, I'm not doing well. I just came back from abroad and went to take care of my health. I had a stomach bleed a few years ago, and my health has been bad." Xu Youran didn't know why she said this, maybe it was just I want to see if I still have a place in Chu Suifeng's heart.

Sure enough, Chu Suifeng looked very nervous, opened his mouth, and said a word after a while, "Why, how could this be, you, are you okay now?"

Xu Youran forced a smile: "Fortunately, my body is much better, but my heart is empty."

Chu Suifeng opened his mouth, but finally lowered his head in silence.

Seeing Chu Suifeng's performance, Xu Youran was a little nervous, was he too anxious?

In order to appease Chu Suifeng, Xu Youran could only hastily said: "Yeah, it's not a problem, it's just that I'm busy, busy, and when I'm busy, I don't think about anything, so, so"

Xu Youran couldn't continue, and she didn't know what to say. Thinking of her poor performance, Xu Youran's eyes turned red involuntarily. She really didn't know how confident she was that she could hold Chu Sui The wind came back again.

Trying to force back the bitterness that welled up in her eyes, Xu Youran calmed down, and continued: "Feng, I miss you so much, I know that I have done many things wrong, and I also know that it is difficult for you to forgive me, but, But at the moment when I saw you, I really couldn't help it, I, I just want to stay with you, even if it's just like this, sitting face to face, I don't care, I just want to look at you, look at you You are in front of me."

Xu Youran's tears still flowed down. This was what she wanted to say the most, and it was also the only word in her heart. Except for this sentence, other words had disappeared from her mind. She didn't know what to say, but This sentence seemed so hasty, without the slightest foreshadowing, without the slightest lubrication, it was said so bluntly, which made Xu Youran very dissatisfied, and at the same time despaired of her performance, so she cried, She cried because of her incompetence.

Seeing Xu Youran crying, Chu Suifeng also became anxious. She approached Xu Youran, stretched out her hand and wanted to do something in a panic, but she never had the courage to touch Xu Youran, so she could only say in a panic: "Don't, don't Cry. You are right, you have never been wrong, the one who is wrong is me, only me. You Ran, you should forget about me, you should find someone better, I, I am really not that good, and, I, I am really leisurely, you are right, I hope you will always remember, you are right, the wrong person is me, it is me."

Chu Suifeng didn't know what to say, she really wanted to tell Xu Youran everything, maybe after knowing all this, Xu Youran would really give up on herself completely, completely despairing of this relationship.

But Chu Suifeng can't, she has no way to do it, even though she knows that she and Xu Youran will not get any results together, she still has no way to completely annihilate this feeling by herself, she can't do it.

So she can only escape, she can only stay as far away as possible, she wants to carry everything alone.

Originally, she thought that as long as she didn't show up, as long as she stayed away from Xu Youran's life, then Xu Youran would be able to get happiness from other people and live a happy life, but she found that Xu Youran was still stuck in the trap she made for Xu Youran. In her beautiful dream, even though the dream has long since awakened, Xu Youran still remembers it like this.

Chu Suifeng felt that he was wrong, and there were too many mistakes. From the beginning, she should not have appeared!

Xu Youran was crying, but couldn't say a word. Seeing this, Chu Suifeng could only sigh. She knew that she was a person with a lot of negative energy. Xu Youran's appearance brought sunshine to her, and she Unexpectedly, she also brought darkness to Xu Youran's world.

"Youran, I can't give you happiness. No matter how hard I try, I can't do it. From the beginning, I shouldn't be close to you, but you are too warm, so I can't help but take in the temperature. I can't help it." Live close to you. I don't know how to get everything back to normal, and I don't know what is the right way to do it, but I hope you can think about it, discuss it with people close to you, and then give me some time, let me have a good time think for a while."

Chu Suifeng's words were full of powerlessness and despair. Unfortunately, Xu Youran didn't hear it. Instead, she heard hope from the words. She felt that after Chu Suifeng thought about it, it was still possible to accept her. , this discovery surprised her so much that she didn't even notice Chu Suifeng's powerlessness.

"Okay, okay, I can give you time, you can think slowly, and I will think hard, I hope you can give me an answer in the end."

Xu Youran stopped her tears, feeling that today's goal has been achieved, and she didn't want to pester Chu Suifeng for too long and let Chu Suifeng push him away, so after wandering around for a while, she sent Chu Suifeng back to the factory. On the way back, Xu Youran couldn't help but jump for joy.

"Suifeng, I'm sorry, I heard that the factory is discussing business with Xu Youran and the others. Have you seen Xu Youran?" He Zhengqing was shocked when he received the news. Who would have thought that his uncle would tell about his cooperation with Xu Youran's company in order to show off, which shocked He Zhengqing, especially when his uncle asked about the relationship between Xu Youran and Chu Suifeng, He Zhengqing almost screamed She said that the two had nothing to do with each other, and she felt guilty when she heard that voice.

"I see, I'm fine. Zhengqing, thank you, all these years, really. I've escaped for so long, but I still haven't escaped anything. Don't worry, I'm fine, I will solve the matter."

Chu Suifeng's voice sounded weak and determined, and He Zhengqing was terrified by such words, "Suifeng, don't act recklessly, what do you want to do?"

Chu Suifeng chuckled self-mockingly, "Don't worry, what can I do, I just want to understand everything, I am the night, Xu Youran is the day, we shouldn't have any intersection, I hurt you I have held Xu Youran for too long, I must help her out."

"Suifeng, I really don't know what you think. You don't have to carry everything by yourself. What's wrong with love? Your thinking is not right." He Zhengqing I don't know what to say. She has already said what should be said all these years, and she has worked hard to do what should be done, but it feels like Chu Suifeng is stuck in the maze she wove, no matter what she says, She couldn't even get out.

"Zhengqing, do you know that no matter how many flaws Xu Youran has in your eyes, in my eyes, she is the only sunshine in my world. She is the only one who, even after I keep rejecting her, still insists on breaking through. Enter my world, and then give me warm people. I struggled alone in the dark for a long time, and occasionally when someone stretched out an arm for me, I would grab it desperately. It was my life-saving straw, but later I found that these people who stretched out their arms for me did so out of helplessness, because of responsibility, because of work, and in fact, when they could get rid of me, they all seemed relieved , Even if I knew that I was still in the dark, I turned a blind eye. I was desperate, I tried my best to climb out of the darkness, but then I found that I didn’t have the slightest adaptability to the sunlight. I’m used to the darkness, but at the same time I also Afraid of the darkness, I want to escape from the darkness. I have been wandering like this, as if I couldn’t find my destination, until Xu Youran appeared in my life. So, for me, she is very important, and I must help her get rid of the darkness, Because that's what I brought her."

He Zhengqing couldn't understand Chu Suifeng's words, but she could vaguely realize that Chu Suifeng's past must be very bad, but due to Chu Suifeng's wishes, He Zhengqing has been trying to avoid this topic.

He Zhengqing didn't know what else he could say. All she could do was support her, but as Chu Suifeng said, wasn't he the one who had to reach out to her because of responsibility and work? Well, if Chu Suifeng leaves, will she also feel relieved?

"I understand, Suifeng, if you need anything, just come to me." After hanging up the phone, maybe because he recognized this fact clearly, maybe because of the dark side in his heart, He Zhengqing suddenly found that all words were helpless After she said it, it made her feel like she was running away.

The author has something to say:

I don't know if I wrote it clearly, but what I want to explain is that in this chapter, Chu Suifeng is not afraid of Xu Youran, but afraid that he will hurt Xu Youran, because Chu Suifeng believes that he is the night, and Xu Youran is the day, she is afraid that she will dye the day black, but Xu Youran has no way to understand Chu Suifeng's feelings, in fact, it is the same in reality, the same behavior, different mood, and then a series of Misunderstandings, some things, if they are clarified, there will not be so many problems.