back to childhood

The key was inserted into the lock, and the sound of opening the door was particularly loud in the silent night, and the voice-activated light immediately turned on sensitively.

Opening the door and going in, I glanced at it by the light outside the door. Since no one lived there for a long time, the sofa and coffee table in the living room were covered with a layer of white cloth.

He didn't know why he chose to come back here, but he suddenly wanted to take a look.

After graduation, he did not return the rent, and the house has been rented all the time, but he never came back after he left.

After he came out of the company during the day, he suddenly thought of this place, and for some reason, he had a strong desire. He wanted to come back and see the hut where they lived together for two years, where they lived happily for a few years before. Hundred days and nights.

Shen Bai never thought that there would be such a paradoxical relationship between them. He thought that the relationship between them was friendship, or even family affection, but he never thought that there would be love between them.

So when Fan Yunzhao secretly kissed him, he was shocked. He didn't expect that the person he has been with for many years actually likes a man, and this person is precisely him!

He was tangled and confused, he couldn't accept him, but he couldn't bear to reject him, he thought that Fan Yunzhao had blurred his feelings because he had been with him for too long, maybe it wasn't liking, or love.

He thought he didn't notice his ostrich's pretense, and in the future, if he didn't alienate without a trace, he would find that it was abnormal when he got in touch with women more, but Fan Yunzhao broke his disguise decisively.

After two years of separation, he also tried to keep in touch with him as little as possible. Maybe he could forget him. Although it was a pity to lose a good friend, he felt that it was good for everyone.

But what about the fact?

When they met again, Fan Yunzhao looked into his eyes, letting him know that his feelings for him hadn't changed, and it might even be deeper. What Shen Bai didn't expect was that he had never persecuted him, but he would do it for him when he didn't know it. He does a lot.

It is a lie to say that you are not moved. There is a person who loves you so much and is still thinking about you when he knows that you will not get anything in return. If he is a woman, he may have agreed to it long ago, but he is a man.

How is it possible between men and men?

Social morality and family ethics are like invisible shackles in his heart, making it impossible for him to get over it.

The door of the room that had been dusty for many days was opened, and the dust fell down profusely, but Shen Bai didn't realize it, lifted the cover on the sofa, and lay down all over.

Without turning on the light, he closed his eyes and fell asleep despite being exhausted.

After an unknown amount of time, Shen Bai was awakened by a humming vibration, the sun was already shining outside the window, the warm sunlight shone in through the gap outside the window, and the room was also very hot.

The feeling of sweat all over his body made him very uncomfortable, his head was dizzy, and his stomach seemed to be empty. The hunger seemed to sense his awakening, so it surged and started to rebel.

Shen Bai lay on the sofa without moving, frowned and closed his eyes, fumbled for the phone and pressed the answer button deftly, and gently appease his hungry stomach with the other hand.

"Hey."

The voice that came out was hoarse and unpleasant, as if it was not his own. Shen Bai was stunned for a few seconds, thinking that he should go out and have a good meal later.

"Where are you? Are you sick?" Fan Yunzhao on the other end of the phone frowned when he heard the voice. Fortunately, he was the only one in the office. Bad luck.

"Fan Yunzhao?" Shen Bai rarely called him by his full name, but now he wanted to call him that.

"It's me, what's wrong?"

Shen Bai blinked, the light made him feel a little uncomfortable, he simply closed it again, and said, "I want to ask you a question."

Fan Yunzhao stood up and walked to the French windows, looked at the tall buildings under his feet, and said with a smile, "What's the problem?"

After hesitating for a while, Shen Bai still asked: "Do you still like me?"

The smile on the corner of his mouth suddenly froze, and he laughed again: "Why do you ask that, don't you know?"

he knows.

Shen Bai took a deep breath, feeling even more hesitant, he didn't know if it was right for him to do so.

"What's the matter?" Fan Yunzhao couldn't see other people, and he didn't know what he was thinking. Ever since Shen Bai knew he was the one he liked, he had never asked such a question. He didn't know what happened, but now he would do this ask him?

"I'm in Chengshi, in the house we rented before." Shen Bai didn't answer his question, Gu Zi said.

Fan Yunzhao was a little surprised, "Why did you go back suddenly? Your voice sounds weird. What's wrong?"

"It's okay, I just want to come back and have a look, and think about something." Shen Bai sat up with his hands propped up, feeling dizzy in his head, paused for a while, and then whispered: "Think about some problems that I haven't figured out before."

Fan Yunzhao talked to him patiently: "Then you have figured it out now?"

Shen Bai was silent for a moment, and said: "I didn't think it through, but I think some problems can't be solved by just avoiding them, so I decided to take the initiative to solve them."

"That's good." Although he didn't understand what he was talking about, Fan Yunzhao was still very happy that Shen Bai was willing to talk to him about it. The two hadn't chatted like this for a long time.

At this moment, I really want to go back to the time before them. At that time, there were no secrets between them, they could always talk a lot with each other, and the atmosphere was always very warm.

It's a pity that he hasn't felt this feeling for a long time. He broke that kind of life with his own hands, and he sometimes regretted it. Maybe if he didn't do that, they wouldn't be where they are today.

But the regret was only momentary, and he was even more thankful that he did that at that time, otherwise, he really didn't know what he would do.

The two were thousands of kilometers apart by phone, and their thinking was completely different.

Shen Bai suddenly said: "I have always been stupid except that I have a better memory than others. I don't have any lofty ideals and ambitions. From the very beginning, what I thought was to study hard, get into a good university, and serve my father well." Mom and grandma strive. Then find a good job after graduation, buy a house and a car, and find a girlfriend when you reach the right age. Of course, it would be even better if you can find it when you are in college. We know each other and love each other. A child, whether it is a boy or a girl, is fine, and the husband and wife raise the child together. We don’t want to be rich and wealthy, as long as the family is harmonious and beautiful. I think such a simple life is very happy.”

This is his dream since he was reborn. He is just an ordinary person, and he has no dream of competing for world hegemony. He just wants to live happily with his family.

Fan Yunzhao quietly listened to his slow narration, and his originally good mood sank little by little. This was his dream, but there was no him in it.His life plan includes family, job, and even other women, but not him.

The frenzied storm in his heart seemed to want to wreak havoc on everything. The hand holding the phone had already had veins exposed due to the force. He could interrupt him roughly, but he didn't, and he still pretended to listen calmly.Even if he was sentenced to death, he would accept it quietly.

Fan Yunzhao didn't speak, Shen Bai didn't bother him, and continued: "I have already done the first half. I was admitted to B University. You don't know how happy my parents and grandma are. I am our village, even The first student in our town to be admitted to University B, I can see that they are very envious of my parents."

"As for the second part," Shen Bai sighed and continued, "I may not be able to do it. I participated in the draft competition, signed a contract with a brokerage company, and became an artist. This is also a good job. , but it is definitely impossible to think about it simply.”

"So I thought, since my life has changed, I might as well change it completely, Xiao Zhao, what do you think?"

"Very good." Fan Yunzhao replied, his voice was extremely hoarse due to trying his best to suppress it, but it matched Shen Bai's voice.

So Shen Bai laughed lowly, coughed a few more times because his throat was so dry and itchy, and then said: "So, why don't we try."

Fan Yunzhao almost didn't react to the nonsensical words, but he suddenly held his breath in the next moment, and all emotions flowed like water, "You, what did you say? No, Xiaobai, what did you mean just now... ..."

If someone sees his current expression, he will not be able to help but laugh out loud. The young man in a suit and leather shoes is holding a phone in one hand and leaning on the floor-to-ceiling window with the other. His eyes are wide open, but they are out of focus. average.

It's a pity that no one was lucky enough to see it, and the person who caused this result with one sentence is not here. He stopped laughing, coughed lightly, his voice was hoarse, and he pretended to be serious and said, "It's fine if you don't want to."

"Yes, yes!" Fan Yunzhao said immediately. The ecstasy made him feel as if he was about to fly. He circled the office with the phone in his hand, thought for a while, and then said, "Xiaobai, you promise me that you can't No more regrets, no, you wait for me at home, I'll come right away!"

"Don't!" Fan Yunzhao hung up the phone as soon as Shen Bo said a word. He was speechless listening to the beeping sound on the receiver. He didn't really want to come, did he?

"This lunatic!" Shen Bai couldn't help cursing, ignoring the inexplicable joy that suddenly came out of his heart, he stood up from the sofa, wanting to call him and tell him not to come.

I don't know if he got up too hastily. As soon as he got up, Shen Bai felt his head sank, his eyes darkened, and he fell down uncontrollably.

Just before he passed out, he thought unreliably, could it be that he was waiting to be rescued when they met for the first time?