Vigorous

In a state of panic, he couldn't find an outlet to vent his emotions.

Apart from being cautious and cautious, he didn't know what to do.

Long-term depression and long-term anxiety made his heart more fragile.

So, he broke out, but it broke out on the person he loves the most.

He poured all the negative emotions he had accumulated on Yunjie during the past four years, leaving nothing behind.

How could it be like this, why should it be like this, he obviously loves him, Yunjie is obviously the first person he fell in love with and took the initiative to confess his love to.

He pushed away the person he loved with his own hands.

In other words, the root of everything is that he has no ability to love others. Frankly speaking, the love he speaks of is very cheap compared to himself, and he will always love himself more than others.

Therefore, during the relationship, apart from confessing, Ma Yechao never took the initiative to do or pay anything for Yunjie.

He not only enjoys Yunjie's devotion and love blindly, but also tramples on and dislikes his devotion and love.

How could he be so cruel to Yunjie.

Ma Yechao's 30 years old was the lowest stage in his life.

No matter what you do at work, your love is completely gone.

During a work dinner, Ma Yechao exploded with emotions accumulated for a long time, holding the microphone of the resident singer and refusing to let go.

It's just because the singer sang "I Really Love You" just now.

All the colleagues joked that Ma Ye was looking for someone.

Only he himself felt desolate in his heart, and was overwhelmed by this terrible environment and heartless people.

The heat that had been ignited had long since disappeared with Yun Jie's departure.

An An helped Ma Yechao up, took the microphone gracefully, and sang "Red Sun", ending his embarrassment.

After that day, Ma Yechao saw An An and thanked him. An An looked him up and down and sighed, "Ye Chao, it's good to find a partner in life, but if you can't find it, it's a common thing. The life of one person is no better than the life of two people." Bad, I think, you know it."

Ma Yechao didn't know what An An knew, and what these words were insinuating, he thought, he should know, but he knew, this is wrong, it shouldn't be like this.

A person's life is good, but the life of two people is dependent on each other, and they have a sense of security when they wake up with their eyes open. These are things that a person's life does not have.

The warmth of two people cannot be rejected for the sake of one person's high quality.

I don't know if An'an guessed what Ma Yechao was thinking, and she continued, "Short-term pleasure can't fill the emptiness in my heart. Only work and hard work are the foundation of our kind of existence. When you get to the top, none of that matters."

"But, I'm so tired. I'm really tired from work." Ma Ye showed a fragility. He lowered his head and frowned in pain.

"If you really don't like electronics, you don't like the market, even if you change industries and jobs, you can start all over again. You are only 30 years old, and it is not too late." An An's words are like a tranquilizer, "said To be honest, I can see that you are tired after working for so long, maybe this job is not suitable for you, so don’t try to hold on for the sake of a famous company, find something more suitable for you, I won’t stop you.”

Yes, he was tired because he was not suitable at all. For so many years, he had suspected that he was not suitable at all, but because he needed a stable and decent job to support him, he persisted for so long.

He didn't think about whether it was because of his lack of ability or frailty, and wanted him to leave voluntarily, which is why An An made such remarks. It is undeniable that these words really moved Ma Yechao.

15. Chapter 15

At the end of 2017, the 30-year-old Ma Ye was fully preparing for the road of studying abroad, and set his major in the field of computer software.

In 2019, Ma Yechao received an offer from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign in the United States. He can officially leave his job and start studying abroad.

In August of the same year, something happened that made Ma Yechao's heart beat, that is, the nostalgic server of World of Warcraft was opened.

At that time, he was already in the United States, preparing to register for a US server ID, and fell into deep thought.

Forrest Gump couldn't type these letters for a long time.

Forrest Gump, the name seemed to contain many meanings to him.

It is not only the name of Ma Yechao's game when he was young, but coincidentally, it is not only the name of the protagonist in "Forrest Gump". Coincidentally, Yunjie is also Forrest Gump.

But he is not Jenny, Qingsong is.

If you ask who he is, he can only be the tree next to Forrest Gump running.

He didn't participate in Yunjie's life, he just witnessed his life.

Ma Yechao thought so.

That's why he didn't look back for Yunjie after meeting and chatting with Qingsong.

On the one hand, he knew that he would eventually be unable to take care of Yunjie, on the other hand, he saw that Qingsong was the most suitable for Yunjie.

It's meaningless to persist for too long if it's not suitable, just like his job.

Yun Jie looked very stupid, as stupid as Forrest Gump, but he was so pure and simple, all his motives and purposes were clear at a glance, and all the filth and filth of him were far away from them.

So they seem to be lucky, in fact, for granted.

Yunjie can't see the evil that the world sees, and Yunjie doesn't care about what the world pursues.

His world needs tolerance, understanding, and comfort, but Ma Yechao can't do it.

He is not the Jenny who returned from Qian Fan's reading, and Yun Jie never ran after him. After they separated, they had no contact with each other.

Ma Ye even forgot his password on Weibo, which he rarely logs in to, and never logged in again.

In the dead of night, when the pillow is hard to sleep, it's not that he doesn't want to be accompanied by others. Several times, he couldn't help but search Yunjie's live broadcast room, but Ma Yechao held back forcefully and forced himself to stop thinking about it. .

As long as he finds another person who is like him, will he be able to solve his loneliness.

Facts have proved that Ma Yechao made the right choice to study abroad. Even though he was not used to it in various aspects at first, he finally liked the free and open attitude here.

Sexual orientation is no longer a secret, and no one will ask why he doesn't get married, and even the scar on the corner of his mouth does not need to be explained repeatedly, because no one asks.

Ma Yechao finally met a second person just like him.

This time, he no longer had the strong feeling of finding his kind and wanting to catch him.

However, in the end, he still fell in love with this person.

The other party's name is Li Zian, a Singaporean Chinese, 3 years older than him, a very gentle and considerate person who is willing to tolerate him, and Ma Yechao has the illusion that he is being favored by him as his son.

In this year, Ma Yechao regained his studies and love, and his illness was long after he resigned, so he never found him again.

He is happy.

On the National Day of 2020, Ma Yechao and Li Zian returned to Beijing, which was a short transit, and then flew to Singapore.

The two days are very tight, and they still have a full itinerary, from Beijing to the Forbidden City, from the Summer Palace to the Great Wall, and they can't wait to use up the time.

Li Zian was a little excited when he came to Beijing for the first time, especially in the Forbidden City. It can be seen that he is very interested in Chinese culture.

"Look, what are they wearing? I know, Hanfu, right?" Li Zian asked, pointing at the two girls.

He was so excited, his voice was a little loud, the girl turned to look at them, and smiled proudly, "It's Hanfu."

"It's so beautiful." Li Zian praised sincerely, and asked, "Are you going to participate in any event?"

The two girls were very happy to chat with them, "No, we just want to wear Hanfu to the Forbidden City. It's very beautiful to take pictures." There are more people wearing different Hanfu or cosplay clothes.”

"Oh, I know about the comic exhibition, but can I buy Hanfu there?"

"There should be surroundings there, we are not sure, you can go and have a look."

Li Zian looked at Ma Ye with some hesitation.

It doesn't matter to Ma Ye, he can go anywhere, so he agreed.

The two girls began to enthusiastically explain the strategy to them and asked them to follow the WeChat official account.

After everything was done, Li Zian handed the phone to Ma Yechao, and let him see, "It's done, tickets are 60 per person."

Ma Ye glanced at him, his eyes suddenly enlarged, he grabbed the phone, and carefully looked at the introduction map of the exhibition.

"What's wrong?" Li Zian asked him.

With red eyes, Ma Ye looked at the photo of the guest in the lower left corner of the picture. It was a familiar face.

Eyebrows, contours, and skin color have not changed, and he can recognize it at a glance, it is Yunjie.

"I..." Ma Ye hoarse, "I'm fine."

After that, it's business as usual.

Including the comic exhibition on the second day, everything was still as usual.

The comic exhibition is very big, if you don't go there specially for a certain guest, it is very difficult to see yourself up close.

Ma Yechao didn't deliberately look for Yunjie, but only saw his poster and surroundings from afar.

Next to the poster, at the end of the long queue, the person who was so surrounded that he couldn't even see the hem of his clothes was Yun Jie.

He wondered if he could also go to the queue.

Li Zian came over and grabbed him, saying that there was a Hanfu show over there, and Ma Yechao was dragged away by him.

The closest opportunity to Yunjie, missed it, and never again.

When he came back that night, Ma Yechao was upset and tossed and turned.

He opened Weibo for the first time and searched Yunjie's name on it.

Yunjie's Weibo was searched by him.

The ID is still Yunjie_, and the number of fans has increased to more than 8 in the past few years.

马烨