true adventure

Congratulations sometimes feels that certain childhood memories are his own hallucinations. Logically speaking, it is impossible for a child of a few years old to remember them, not to mention that he met an unreliable father and a mildly mentally retarded mother. I didn't even learn to speak, I just stumbled and repeated some phrases, how could I remember so many details.

But sometimes, He Yan would suddenly sniff his nose and raise his hand to smell in the confined space of the dressing room, lounge or RV.Li Shen would ask him what's wrong, and he said, he always felt something.

"Don't you feel the smell of that rotten and smelly mop that has been mopped here once?" He Yan asked Li Shen.

Li Shen couldn't smell it, and even thought it was impossible: "Moppers are used now, who still uses that kind of mop?"

Think about it too, how can there be such a smell in this kind of place.

The ones with this kind of taste are self-built houses on the side of the road in the suburbs, which are inaccessible, suitable for resting on the way to escape, or as a house for sex.

Criminals have brothers too, although it's likely to be another street hustler and criminal, the shelter provided for that person is one of those places, the room smells of mops, mixed with the smoke from burning tinfoil next door At the same time, the person next door vomited from taking drugs, and the smell of vomit mixed in again.

This is the smell that He Yan always feels surrounding him, even after taking a shower and wearing perfume, it's useless.

Has Cui Yuanxun smelled this kind of smell?When Cui Yuanxun plays the low-level people who live for money, He Yan will find it a little funny watching from the sidelines.Did he know what it felt like to have the smell of sewer seeping into his pores?He would think, never go back to that time?

The blanket had a warm smell, with Cui Yuanxun's breath.The clean aftershave, the shower gel provided by the hotel, and the toothpaste worth more than ten yuan are all very cheap things, combined together, it becomes expensive but smells good.Probably something he'll never be able to afford.

There is also a taste.

Sitting in front of He Yu'an, He Yan said: "In the memory of the protagonist, his mother always sits on the bed. This woman gave birth to four children, and three of them were sold by that beast. Her stomach is full of Cracks, sometimes if you move a little slower, you will become incontinent, and there will be another smell in that room."

He Yu'an had become thinner and thinner in the past few days, his eye sockets were sunken, and he listened quietly without interjecting.

"It's not a movie, it's not a story, it's not a bullshit drama conflict, it's just a disgusting smell, and I can't forget it no matter what. You went to the TV station to transfer a video of a legal program, you went to the court to check the file, and you went to the welfare department. People in the hospital asked about the privacy, do you think you know everything? He wanted to forget all of this and be a normal person. But the policeman ran out and chased him, trying to drag him back to the past. "

This is not a lie.

If he didn't want to forget everything, he didn't have to pay so much.For such a long time, I have lived a good life everywhere, I can't find any black spots, and I don't have any entertainment hobbies.

But at the same time, everything from clothes to shoes and hats are delivered to the door by brands, bathed in the crowd of fans, and someone pays for recording a song that is not very good. The biggest worry is that it may be out of date in the future.Such a frivolous and pleasant life suddenly became impossible to continue.

……

"There should be an abyss in an actor's heart, but he should balance himself and not fall." He Yu'an finally spoke, but what he said was what he had said to He Yan many days ago.

At this time, he actually thought about acting.

"I did go to the places you mentioned to find information, but the starting point is not there." He Yu'an raised his hand, took off his glasses, and looked at the congratulations without any hindrance, "The first thing I wanted to find was not you. , but the prisoner in the prison. When I went, the prisoner told me that over the years, except for me, only one person had come to ask him. I saw the name on the visitor registration record.”

And the registration time was the year when He Yan made his debut.

He Yan didn't go in in the end, because logically, only relatives can go in to visit.And he wanted neither to be a relative nor a visitor.This prison is built on a hill, amidst the greenery, the prisoners transform their lives.He Yan, who has not yet become famous, stood outside, stared blankly for a while, then took the bus and left. After that, he never went there again.

"If you really wanted to forget, why would you go there?"

He Yu'an finally asked.

Yeah, why go?

Because on the broad road leading to normal people, a slanted branch suddenly sprouts, a crooked road, full of evil and temptation.Human beings have tried their best to prevent this behavior throughout history. It is a primitive instinct hidden in the genes.

"It's ok." Cui Yuanxun stood up, grabbed He Yan's arm with one hand and pulled it back, blocking the front, "It's ok, Director He, I don't think it's necessary to shoot the last scene. I'll take him back first .”

But he tried his best, but he couldn't pull the people behind him. He Yan stood there as if he was pinned, even though his face was pale and sweaty, he didn't intend to leave.

How exciting, but Cui Yuanxun couldn't bear to watch it any longer: "Does it have to be like this?"

He asked this question, but he didn't know who he was asking.

Do you have to dig out your heart like this, show everything naked in front of your eyes, from the beginning to the end?

I can help you.He Yu'an's voice came over, it was actually gentle, you have always wanted to return to the normal track and live a normal life.I have asked you many times, chosen many times, and every time you are telling me, you will not destroy yourself because of hate, will you?

On the stage of this variety show and in the short film, every life-and-death choice, He Yan chose to live, and chose to take back the sharp weapon.

Yeah?He Yan doesn't know anymore.Obviously, he was the one who accused He Yu'an very convincingly just now. He said that he just wanted to be a normal person.

How to achieve it, how to forget it.

Why do innocent people die and guilty people live.Why should he have to sleep in the nightmare every night, but that person can be released immediately.

"Don't do this, congratulations." He Yu'an said, "I can assure you that I have the ability to make him never find you. All traces will be destroyed, and there will never be another like you. Bad people like me see those things. Forget about him and just pretend he's really dead, okay?"

So sincere, every word and every word is full of sincerity, He Yan believes that He Yu'an can do it, but.

but.

"Director He." The congratulatory words moved slightly, "I'll tell you some more things that are not written in the verdict, see if you can use them as material."

He Yu'an was stunned.

The first layer, the second layer, and finally the third layer of life that can never be told to anyone. He thought it would never be revealed, but now he can really tell it.

"The idiot is not unconscious, she is actually just a lot more sluggish. She can cry, laugh, yell for food when she is hungry, and even say some incoherent words. When she was pressed on the bed, she whimpered Call. You said I have a natural intuition, maybe yes, for example, that day, I felt it."

When the woman suddenly started to vomit and bowed her waist, the man also put down the chopsticks, walked to the drawer with suspicion, took out a small box, and dragged the woman to the toilet.When he came out, he had a happy face: "I can still conceive, this time, don't give birth to an idiot that no one wants. What do you want to eat? I'll buy it for you."

How benevolent it sounded, the woman was still in a daze, and it took a long time before she said: "Apple."

There happened to be one apple left, but it had been sitting there for several days, and the color had faded and the skin was wrinkled.The man took out the jackknife from his pocket again, wiped it on his trousers, then peeled it off and handed it over.

"I saw where the knife was, and I saw the look in her eyes. So, that night, the knife was not by the bed."

This knife is not suitable for peeling apples, it is more suitable for stabbing the man in the neck.

He thought so, and even planned to do so. He stole the knife and prepared to act at night while the man was asleep.

But someone was one step ahead of him.

Knives can be used to kill, but also to commit suicide.The woman lacks aggression, she probably just knows intuitively that life is meaningless, and death is the relief. The awakened man tried to stop him, but he was a step too late, leaving only traces of struggle.

It was never the mother who wanted to kill, but He Yan.For so many years, he has been lying to himself, repeating the lie a hundred times before mistaking it for the truth.

It was he who killed people.If he doesn't do this, he doesn't know how to continue living without any burden.

"How should I choose?" He Yan asked, "Which way should I choose?"

The room was extremely quiet, and the variety show's camera was like a black hole, trying to swallow everything and then destroy it.Let people fall into the bottomless abyss.