The school grass owes me a first love

After Cheng Jue left, Ye Yubei still stood there with his head down.

The notebook fell not far in front of him, and it spread out flat. At this moment, a gust of cold wind blew through, blowing up the paper in the notebook, turning over many blank pages in the middle, until the wind reached a certain page and stopped. Come down, and you will see dense handwriting appearing on it again.

[He's really soft, I hope he won't waste money on strangers, and won't be cheated by bad women anymore. 】

[Stupid formula. 】

……

[Although he is cute no matter what expression he has, I just want to protect his smile. 】

……

【He glanced at Lao Tzu when he was playing today and was very happy. 】

……

[Cheng Jue is talking about Ye Mengmeng to his teammates again, he really likes Ye Mengmeng. 】

[Ye Mengmeng=I, he must also like me, happy. 】

The wind weakened, and the thin paper tremblingly turned over two pages.

【During artificial respiration tonight, he kissed me and fainted. I haven't fallen asleep until this point. 】

……

[He called me husband, how could he be so stupid?But still happy. 】

The wind blows, keep turning the pages.

【He jumped down the steps in two steps in three steps. He ran towards me and broke into my heart. 】

[Today is our first day together. 】

……

[I came out of the Jiaotong University training a little late, and my boyfriend was waiting at the convenience store opposite. Before I went out, I realized that he had bought a cake in advance and put it in the ice cream freezer. He asked me what gift I wanted. I looked at him and thought he was pretty Ok, so that said, the boyfriend took off the pink ribbon on the box and tied it around his neck in a knot, his neck is white and beautiful, I can't stand the ribbon, but the boyfriend is still smiling , I think it's funny, how can I be so stupid?If it wasn't for the girl at the cash register staring at him, I would have kissed him in a daze. 】

[The gift he gave was a Casio electronic dictionary, which is very professional and easier to use than a mobile phone dictionary. I like it very much. Oh, today is our first anniversary together. Every second with him is worth remembering. If possible, I hope to If he can win the prize in the monthly provincial competition, it will be given to him as a first anniversary gift. 】

……

[The college entrance examination is still five months away, hurry up, hurry up, I want to graduate sooner, live together sooner, I want to have a family with him. 】

……

The front of the blue notebook is full of observations and analysis of Cheng Jue, so it seems full of purpose, but if Cheng Jue can turn back from the middle part of the book, you can see Ye Yubei's truest feelings for him.

It's a pity that Cheng Jue didn't turn back, only Feng read every bit of their relationship.

Ye Yubei stood against the wall, his legs were a little numb, and he moved as if he was alive. He limply took two steps forward, leaned over slowly, and picked up the notebook on the ground with some difficulty.

Ye Yubei flipped through the notes, the more he looked down, the bigger the gap in his heart, Cheng Jue's smiling face in various scenes in his memories flashed in his mind, he couldn't help asking himself, if he never sees Cheng Jue again, what will happen to him? Can he really?

Is this really what he wants?

Thinking of the future life without Cheng Jue, Ye Yubei would almost be breathless. At this moment, he wanted to cry, but strangely, he couldn't shed a single tear.

In the bone-piercing cold wind, Ye Yubei seemed to be woken up, he took out his cell phone in a panic, and wanted to tell Cheng Jue not to go far, before everything was too late, so that he wouldn't leave.

He needs him and cannot live without him.

The phone rang and was connected, Ye Yubei felt that his eyes should be wet now, but in fact nothing happened, he didn't wait for the other person to speak, almost begging: "Cheng Jue, don't go."

But what responded to him was a fuzzy sound of music coming from the receiver, very far away, singing leisurely:

"How hard it is for me without you... how troubled I am without you... through the clouds I try to run to you... love is sent to you but already in someone else's arms..."

The sound of the music gradually approached, gradually became louder, and became more and more clear: "I just can't open my mouth to let her know-I will definitely take care of you and make you laugh-how important you are to me, I regret not letting you I know—listen quietly to your coquetry and watch you fall asleep until you grow old—"

"I just can't open my mouth to let her know—it's just a few simple words that I can't do—the whole heart is hanging in the air and I can only watch from a distance—I can do all of these but..."

After a while, the whole world was filled with the song "Can't Open My Mouth", the tone gradually became sharp, almost piercing, causing a splitting headache, Ye Yubei finally frowned unbearably, and woke up from the dream .

Ye Yubei lay on the bed panting for a few times, staring at the roof in the darkness, the tears that could not shed in the dream had already wet the pillow.

On the bedside table next to it, the mobile phone is still playing "Can't Open My Mouth" in a loop, the volume is not loud, but it is clear enough in the quiet night.

In reality, in the end Ye Yubei just watched Cheng Jue leave, and did not keep him.

But Cheng Jue's departure stimulated him instead. After waking up from the dream, Ye Yubei received electric shock first aid like a dying person, and came back to life again. He was so numb before that he couldn't feel any emotion, but now he knows the pain. The heart can't stop contracting strongly, and it's no longer possible to avoid reality.

Ye Yubei finally realized that he couldn't live without Cheng Jue, it might be worse than death.

Early the next morning, when Fang Wenhui entered Ye Yubei's bedroom with breakfast, she found that the boy woke up early.

I saw the young man lying on the bed with his face turned sideways, flipping a notebook in his hand. He opened and closed a certain page, closed and opened it, opened it and closed it again, just like this over and over again, almost forced .

After Fang Wenhui put the breakfast on his bedside table, she stood by the bed, looked down at Ye Yubei and repeated that action.

After a while, Fang Wenhui sighed, didn't ask what the boy was doing, but said, "Eat while it's hot."

Ye Yubei responded with a low voice, looked at a certain sentence in the notebook, read it for a while, and then closed it again.

Fang Wenhui left and closed the door. What she didn't know was that more than a year ago, Ye Yubei copied a sentence in his notebook——

【A person can be destroyed, but not defeated. 】

From Hemingway, "The Old Man and the Sea", Cheng Jue's favorite book.

Every time Ye Yubei glanced at it, the imprint of that sentence became deeper in his mind.

When Fang Wenhui watched the time and entered Ye Yubei's bedroom again to pack up his things, Ye Yubei was already dressed neatly and was sitting at the desk writing the test paper.

The boy's knee was injured and he couldn't bend it, so he had to put a low stool under the table to rest his legs, but even though the posture was so inconvenient, the boy still calmed down and concentrated on the problem.

Fang Wenhui's hand holding the doorknob tightened, and her expression was a little moved. She thought for a long time, walked to the table, took the opportunity to pick up the bowl and chopsticks, and said softly: "This year... I probably won't be able to take the physical education college entrance examination, take a good rest Let's try again next year."

Ye Yubei stopped writing, he raised his head, and looked at the countdown calendar on the corner of the table, which showed that there were 125 days until the college entrance examination.

"You can take the college entrance examination." Ye Yubei regained his former composure. The depression of the previous few days no longer existed. He took out his report card from last semester and looked back and forth between the scores of various subjects. Said, "You can take the exam as a science student, I can."

If he wants to be admitted to Jiaotong University, according to his current grades, it is almost impossible to improve his score by 120 within four months.

But Ye Yubei knew that he had no choice.

He made a bet with himself, if he couldn't win this time, he would never see Cheng Jue again.

But if all goes well, he and Cheng Jue will meet at the top of the mountain.

***

After Cheng Jue left the community where Ye Yubei's family lived that day, he didn't go back to his home, but went directly to the airport, bought the nearest flight, and returned to Beijing.

When I arrived at the place where the winter camp was held, I was just in time for the first class.

Cheng Jue tossed and tossed all night, running back and forth between Cang City and Beijing City, but he managed not to be noticed.

His roommate whispered in class: "Where did you go last night? Are you okay?"

Cheng Jue smiled and said, "It's okay." Continue to do the questions.

Two days later, the closing ceremony ended, and a group of high school students packed their things and returned.

After Cheng Jue came home, he didn’t show any abnormalities, but he became fond of studying, locked himself in the room, kept doing math competition questions, and even forgot to go downstairs when it was time to eat, so he had to let his aunt or Cheng Maomao Just knock on the door of his room, but he didn't eat two bites when he went downstairs, and continued to go back to the room to do the quiz.

After two days like this, Cheng Jue asked Cheng Maomao to deliver every meal upstairs on the grounds that he wanted to study.

Cheng Maomao couldn't help being a little worried. Has his brother been under too much pressure recently?I have never seen him so serious before, and seeing him lose weight day by day, the speed is abnormally fast.

When the family finally realized the problem, it was already the fourth day after Cheng Jue came home. He suddenly fainted when he went downstairs, rolled down the stairs, and fell into a coma.

Seeing his brother lying there lifeless and pale, Cheng Maomao was so frightened that he went crazy, and he was also crying.

Cheng Maomao and his aunt hurriedly sent Cheng Jue to the hospital. After an examination, the doctor infused Cheng Jue with glucose solution, looked at the Cheng family's aunt reproachfully, and said, "This child hasn't eaten for a few days?"

"Ah?" Auntie said with a look of bewilderment, "Three meals a day are normal."

The doctor didn't believe it, shook his head, and asked, "Does he have anorexia?"

The aunt was even more at a loss, and kept saying "no, no, no".

At this moment, Cheng Maomao suddenly realized that every time he went to his brother's room to collect the plate, there was not even leftovers on the plate. Looking back now, it was as if he just dumped it out.

They later learned that Cheng Jue hadn't eaten for seven days from the day he fainted two days after the winter camp.

While Cheng Jue was still in a coma, Cheng Maomao couldn't help calling Li Hua and crying. After Li Hua heard about Cheng Jue's situation, he was silent for a while.

Li Hua said: "Do you know that elder brother also had an accident?"

Cheng Maomao choked, and held back his tears: "Brother? What's wrong with him? Listen to what my brother said before, aren't you busy with the game?"

Li Hua sighed, and said, "I still found out about it from the people at Jiaotong University. Brother...he broke his leg half a month ago and can no longer play."

Cheng Maomao was shocked beyond measure.

The two of them were silent on the phone for a long time. Finally, Cheng Maomao couldn't figure it out, and said with a mournful face, "What happened to them..."

After Cheng Jue woke up, he still had to rely on infusions to maintain his strength. When his aunt fed him, he turned his face away and silently resisted.

Cheng Jue seemed to be as the doctor said, suffering from anorexia, less than a week after returning, with bony bones protruding from the side of his wrist, his peach blossom eyes were completely lost.

They wouldn't let him go home, so Cheng Jue asked his aunt to bring the test papers, and spent the whole day hanging up the water while studying the questions.

Cheng Maomao finally couldn't stand it anymore, moved a chair, sat down in front of Cheng Jue's bed, and said solemnly: "Brother, I know you may have broken up with Ye Yubei."

The three words "Ye Yubei" seemed to have thorns, Cheng Jue secretly shrunk his shoulders, uncomfortably stretched the cuffs of the hospital gown, and held them in his hands, but his eyes were fixed on the questions on the test paper.

Cheng Maomao continued: "But I have to confirm, do you know that Ye Yubei's leg is broken and he can't take the physical education college entrance examination."

Cheng Jue didn't raise his eyes, but his expression was blank for an instant, and his fingers that were holding the cuffs were also loosened.

Cheng Maomao observed Cheng Jue's expression, and said cautiously: "So you...don't know? Then you...why did you break up suddenly at this time?"

After a while, Cheng Jue didn't know what to think, frowned a little irritably, packed up the papers and put them on the side cabinet, lay down on his side with his back to Cheng Maomao, pulled up the quilt to cover his head, and said wordlessly that he was going to rest .

Cheng Maomao was helpless, sighed, helped Cheng Jue turn off the light, drew the curtain, and walked out of the ward.

But Cheng Jue didn't rest, he was trembling under the quilt, biting his fingernails, his expression suppressed anger, but his red eye circles were fragile.

Cheng Jue was too angry. Ye Yubei had a broken leg and couldn't take the college entrance examination, but he didn't tell him about such a big event. If it was because of this that he suddenly broke up with him coldly and violently, Cheng Jue felt that Ye Yubei was unforgivable. The two of them had something to discuss and resolve, but Ye Yubei always liked to bear it alone, even breaking up with him.

What's wrong?

If you want to be together, you can't just work hard alone, he doesn't care about Ye Yubei anymore, if you break your leg, you will break your leg, it has nothing to do with him.

But thinking so, my heart hurts suddenly.

Broken leg, how painful it must be...

After Cheng Maomao got out of the ward, after much deliberation, he still called Ye Yubei.

The phone rang for a while before being connected.

Ye Yubei's low voice came: "Hello?"

"Brother!" Cheng Maomao couldn't help calling out excitedly, then his nose was sour, and he said incoherently, "Help my brother, he's in the hospital! He won't eat! He won't listen to anyone!"

***

Cheng Jue tossed and turned on the bed for a long time, maybe half an hour or longer, but just as he was about to fall asleep, the phone on the bedside table vibrated.

He thought it was his buddy, picked up his phone and looked at it, but it turned out to be a string of numbers without notes.

But that number, even if it was deleted from the address book and there was no note, Cheng Jue still knew it by heart.

Cheng Jue suddenly couldn't sleep again.

He pursed his lips, still angry, but more sad.

Ye Yubei called after so long, and after Cheng Maomao left tonight, he could guess who instigated it.

If he didn't answer the call, the phone kept vibrating. Cheng Jue felt annoyed, so he simply pressed the answer button.

He put the phone to his ear, stubbornly unwilling to speak.

"Cheng Jue?" A low and cold voice came from the other end, like winter spring water gliding past the ear, very pleasant to hear.

It was just because he heard the other party's voice, but Cheng Jue's heart, which had been holding on for so long, suddenly collapsed into a huge deep pit like quicksand, vulnerable to any blow, and his eyes were red.

But he still didn't answer, and there was only a shallow, trembling breathing sound in the receiver.

Ye Yubei said to himself: "I heard that you are hospitalized."

The voice is especially clear in the quiet night, with a soothing warmth.

Cheng Jue turned her face away and buried herself in the pillow, with the phone next to her ear.

Ye Yubei asked again: "Why don't you eat?"

"I want you to take care of it." Cheng Jue finally couldn't help it, turned his face and replied, because he hadn't spoken for a long time, his voice was hoarse, and said, "We broke up, and you still ask so many questions, if you can't, you should die." Is it?"

Over there, Ye Yubei looked at the test papers on the table, each paper was covered with red ink.

In fact, his life was not going well. In order not to affect the exam, the operation was postponed. He worked on the questions in the dark and walked alone, but with little effect. It will only make him more painful. Compared with physical pain, mental exhaustion is the most difficult.

Therefore, when Ye Yubei received a call from Cheng Maomao tonight and learned about Cheng Jue's current situation from Cheng Maomao, he could understand Cheng Jue's feelings.

After leaving each other, no one is more tormented than the other, and they are all equally difficult.

Ye Yubei also finally knew what a stupid and selfish decision he had made back then.

After realizing the reality, Ye Yubei gave up, threw away the pen, closed his eyes, rubbed the center of his brows, and called softly: "Cheng Jue."

This time, the voice made no secret of his fragility and attachment.

Of course Cheng Jue could understand Ye Yubei's most subtle emotional changes, his eyes flickered slightly, he took a deep breath, and said stiffly: "What are you doing?"

Ye Yubei lied weakly on the table, grabbed the test paper spread out on the table, his long suppressed emotions finally broke out, he choked up and said: "I'm sick, Cheng Jue, I feel like I'm going to die, I don't know Why did it become like this, it was obviously only one step away from the promised future, but I messed it up."

Through the mobile phone, Cheng Jue could hear Ye Yubei gasping in a low voice, and his voice became hoarse. The bewilderment and helplessness in it was heartbreaking.

"I don't know what's going on, they all want to pull me down, as if all the feathers withered overnight, I can't fly to the sky anymore, I just want to be better, to be with you, but Now there is nothing left, they even took away my glory, I can't make you proud."

"Cheng Jue, I miss you. I regret letting you go that day. I want to hold you back in my dreams. I can't go on alone. I definitely can't go on. Can you help me? I don't want to break up with you. I want to go Looking for you, Cheng Jue, help me..."

After talking about it, Ye Yubei cried, and Cheng Jue also cried.

Cheng Jue had too many words, but he couldn't express them clearly in a few words.

He wiped his wet face, finally made up his mind, and said in a hoarse voice: "Where are you? I'll go find you."

Although he didn't know what's wrong with Ye Yubei, and he was bothering others with trivial things, but Cheng Jue knew that he couldn't leave him alone, and couldn't separate from him.

If they don't meet again, both of them will collapse.

The author has something to say: I missed an update, try to make it up this weekend.

Thanks to Ravenclaw's first-year prefect for the bazooka x2 and grenade x6, and Yueqing x5, wrong again? ~

Thanks to everyone who fed the nutrient solution: ono+11, Liuliuyuan+5, Lucifer+5, bxg Guiye+5, +5, Yueqing+5, Su Yezi+2, Mu Mu Bu Fat+1~