kind of bend me

The room was unusually quiet, and the clock on the wall would make a "click" sound with every step.

Shen Xu held his breath and lowered his head, as if waiting for the death sentence.

After a long silence, Wan Chen walked to the sofa and sat down.

They are very close, but Ke Xin is slowly moving away.

It is so far away that no one can pull back this distance, no amount of effort will only increase the sadness.

Wan Chen's sigh resounded in the silent room, heavy and long.

"Shen Xu, why did you say those words?"

Shen Xu closed his eyes in pain.

why why

For a ridiculous reason, he couldn't open his mouth.

And Wan Chen spoke for him.

"Because of me? Because of fear."

17-year-old Wan Chen clutched the film tightly in his hand, and rushed out of the house like crazy.

"I am afraid that what I have will turn into a bubble in an instant, and I am afraid that the future I have been looking forward to for a long time will be destroyed beyond recognition."

He chased the bus that had just left and knocked hard on the door, fearing that if he missed this bus, he would lose all his courage.

"These words are your last hope."

He went to a photo studio far away, and the moment he handed over the negatives, he hesitated.With a little force, the clerk tore away the film tube in his hand.

"What I want is actually very simple. A powerful constraint, what I want is just a constraint. I don't think about anything else, let alone something that I haven't thought about or can't predict."

Walking out of the photo studio, big drops of sweat slid down his forehead, he raised his head, and the sun shone into his eyes, stimulating a line of tears.

drops on his heart.

For so many years, he dared not deliberately recall what happened that day.

Unable to face the day that truly ruined your life.

After that day, he and Shen Xu embarked on the road of facing each other.Time flies, 20 years.

Perhaps, it is a lifetime.

Wan Chen stood up with the armrest of the sofa, and walked slowly towards the kitchen.

Shen Xu raised his head and stared at the man's back, "Wan Chen, do you hate me?"

Like back then, his hatred for him penetrated deep into the bone marrow, and even after so many years, that feeling still remained deep in his body.

So, let’s do what we do today!

They made the same unforgivable mistake, who is qualified to talk about forgiveness.

Wan Chen turned his head and looked at him deeply.

"I just want to ask you one thing."

Shen Xu listened quietly.

"Did you say those words because you expected that my mother would fall down the stairs?"

Shen Xu frowned, and slowly raised his eyes.

"If not, then, I don't hate you."

Wanchen walked into the kitchen, and the sound of water soon came from there.

Shen Xu stood in the living room like a sculpture, his heart gradually felt pain.

Gradually, breathing became short of breath.

The sound of chopping vegetables came from the kitchen, and it seemed to hit his heart.

Wan Chen cracked three eggs, Wan Chen choked the pot with onion and ginger, Wan Chen turned on the refrigerator, Wan Chen turned off the gas.

Taking out two bowls of noodles from the kitchen and putting them on the dining table, Wan Chen took off his apron and looked around.

Shen Xu is no longer here.

There is a 24-hour convenience store in the community, Shen Xu walked into the store to buy cigarettes and lighters.

Sitting on the bench outside the store, he lit the fire and called He Lei.

"Aunt Li is fine...Maybe I will stay in the hospital for a while...I can't go back for the time being...Sorry, I can't celebrate the New Year with you...How is your side...Go to rest early, we will talk tomorrow."

The cold wind of deep winter blows away the light smoke exhaled from the mouth, and the cigarette held between the fingers floats out a long stream.

The day after tomorrow is New Year's Eve, a day for family reunion.

After being alone for so many years, he finally thought that he could spend this most important day with his lover.

Eat dumplings on a plate, light the New Year's firecrackers together, nestle in a blanket to watch the New Year's Gala, laugh and complain, and fall asleep next to each other before twelve o'clock.

Unfortunately, it won't be possible this year.

However, he and He Lei still have a lot of time, they still have a future.

The bell at the entrance of the supermarket rang a few times, and someone was coming out.

The cigarette between Shen Xu's fingers was almost burnt to the end, he threw it on the ground, crushed it, took out another one, and lit it.

I'm just asking you one thing, did you say it because you expected it to make my mom fall down the stairs

If not, then, I don't hate you.

Wan Chen's words struck his mind like a heavy hammer.

In a word, he denied his life for so many years.

He has been living in pain, but he has never once thought about asking Wan Chen the same thing.

Back then, Wan Chen sent those photos because he expected his father would be hit by a car.

is not it……

He was blinded by anger, and in the final negotiation, they bit each other and said too many things that hurt each other deeply.

If, if after so many years, he can think about it calmly and rationally...

Perhaps, there will be no 20 years of life that cannot be let go.

Perhaps, he has already found another period of happiness, and every day is wonderful and fulfilling.

A young couple walked into a convenience store with their arms around each other. When they came out, the husband thought no one was there, so he kissed his wife hard on the face.

The wife blushed, and the two walked away laughing.

Shen Xu also smiled, shook his head, and smiled helplessly at this terrible life.

Because I couldn't let go, I ruined my life for 20 years.

who should he blame

A figure swayed in the distance, gradually walking towards this side.

Wan Chen, who was wrapped in a gray down jacket, was thin and ordinary.

Just like the people you can see everywhere on the street, they are completely different from a few years ago.

After taking off the vice president's fine attire and wearing an old style discounted by the mall, Wan Chen's life fell to the bottom.

He spent 20 years in pain, and Wan Chen...

Have you ever been happy?

Wan Chen talked less and less since he started working, and he always kept a straight face, as if everyone owed him.

Shen Xu, come back! I was wrong, give me another chance, okay, it’s been 12 years, I really miss you, and I have never forgotten you.

In the year when you completely left City S, I really regretted it.What I have done to you is like a shackle that strangles me.Can you believe it, I regret it to death.For the past ten years, I have lived alone.A person's home, a person's life, even gossip and complaints are not heard.I tried to live a normal life, but in the end, I still couldn't lie to myself.The one I love is not any of her.

If I hadn't sent those photos, Uncle Shen hadn't had an accident, I hadn't done those cruel things to you, Shen Xu, we'd still be together now.For more than ten years, I have been making this assumption and fantasizing that you are by my side, all the time, without leaving.

That dream, I thought it was a chance God gave us, I hugged you excitedly, I said, don’t go to S University, don’t pursue any dreams.As long as everything can be restarted, I am willing to watch you live the most ordinary life.

Shen Xu, how did we get to where we are today?

On the way here, he endured tremendous psychological pressure, and in just a dozen hours, his spirit was broken.

As for Wan Chen, how much torture he has suffered in the past 20 years.

He didn't think about it, and never did.

Forgiveness has just become a ridiculous vocabulary that is just lip service.He never, from the bottom of his heart, truly forgave Wan Chen.

The figure came closer and stopped a few meters away.

Wan Chen put his hands in his pockets, panting slightly, staring at him with deep eyes.

Clouds of white mist slipped away from his mouth.

Shen Xu stared at him intently, in a daze, as if he saw the 17-year-old boy.

Erasing the fine lines at the corners of the eyes, smoothing the sadness between the brows, with a faint smile on his lips, he naturally reached out his hand to him.

That was the one he loved with all his heart, the ordinary, Wan Chen.

On New Year's Eve, they spent time in the hospital.

After setting up balloons and buying fresh flowers, Shen Xu fed the cooked dumplings to Aunt Li's mouth.

Wan Chen put the computer he brought on the small table, and the host of the Spring Festival Gala enthusiastically announced the start of the party.

Aunt Li didn't eat much, but she always had a comfortable smile on her face.

Shen Xu took the time to call He Lei, and then put the phone to Aunt Li's ear, and He Lei wished her New Year's greetings.

Aunt Li repeatedly said yes, and asked He Lei to come over after finishing his work.

Wan Chen stepped aside, picked up the water bottle and walked out of the ward.

On the first day of the Lunar New Year, a few friends of Aunt Li came to visit her and brought them supplements. Aunt Li told Shen Xu that before leaving, she would bring some back home. There were still a lot of supplements sent by Wan Chen at home. not finished.

Shen Xu thought for a while and asked, "Does Wanchen often send back supplements?"

Aunt Li: "Send it every month, saying that we can't be with me and his dad, and we want us to take care of ourselves. I told him, but he didn't listen. Tell me, how much does he earn a month? Pay us."

Those supplements are not cheap, and he can guess how much money Wanchen can earn by delivering goods in supermarkets.

Take away the supplements and there really isn't much left.

Wanchen's life in T City will not be very good.

On the third day of the new year, Shen Xu walked into the ward, and there was a strange man sitting beside the bed. Aunt Li chatted happily with him.

Seeing Shen Xu coming in, the man stood up and greeted him with a smile.

"I'm Wanchen's friend, Kang Lin."

Shen Xu stretched out his hand, "Hi, I'm----"

"Shen Xu."

Shen Xu was taken aback, "How could you--"

Kang Lin smiled, "I've known you for many years, but I haven't met you formally."

Shen Xu: "..."

Aunt Li said: "Xiao Xu, Wan Chen isn't here yet, so you help see Kang Lin off."

Walking out of the ward, Kang Lin walked in front, and Shen Xu looked at his back in confusion.

Kang Lin said: "You don't have to be curious, knowing too much will bring you a burden. You just have to live well now, and Wan Chen will think about it sooner or later."

Shen Xu was shocked, how good is the relationship between this person and Wan Chen, he even knows about this kind of thing!

Walking out of the building of the inpatient department, Kang Lin turned his head, sighed slightly, and looked up at him, "Shen Xu, if it's not possible, don't give him hope. Take the path you choose and don't look back. But, I only have one request .”

Shen Xu looked at him silently.

"Please, don't hurt him."

After Kang Lin left, Shen Xu turned and walked back to the ward.

Went to the pantry to fetch two bottles of hot water, and when he came back, Wan Chen was already in the room.

Just as Shen Xu was about to open the door, he heard Aunt Li's voice coming from the room, and the hand pulling the door stopped there.

"Wanchen, tell mom the truth, is what Xiaoxu said true?"

Shen Xu withdrew his hand, and stood outside the door with his head down.

It took a long time for Wan Chen to answer. His voice was very soft, as if he was afraid of shocking his mother, but his tone was extremely firm.

"Yes."

"You... Wanchen!"

Wan Chen supported his mother and lay on the side of the hospital bed, "Mom, don't get excited, listen to me carefully. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want to deceive you anymore. What Shen Xu said is true, the person I love , with a new family, he has, will not look back."

"Since you understand everything, why don't you come back? Go back to Mom, okay? This is your home." Li Meixiang looked at her son with heartache.

Wan Chen held his mother's hand, with a faint smile on his face.

"Mom, give me some more time. I think it won't be so difficult to forget him a little bit. Don't worry, I'm doing well now, I've got a promotion and a raise, and I still hang out with my colleagues when I have time after work." Have a meal and play cards. Here, it is very close to him. Mom, I don’t know how to do anything. I never thought of destroying his life. He is very happy now. I can see it. In fact, what I want is He can be happy. Forget those pains and start a new life. In this way, I can slowly convince myself, slowly, let go."

Li Meixiang opened her mouth, but she didn't know what to say to persuade her son.

Wan Chen understood her thoughts, bent forward and hugged her mother, patted her on the back, "Mom, let me be self-willed again. Only by staying with him can I cheer up. One day, I will forget him Well, one day... At that time, I will definitely come back. Mom, I'm sorry."

Li Meixiang's lips moved, and tears of distress rolled in her eyes.

"You have forgotten it for so many years, but you still haven't forgotten it, silly boy, when will you make Mom wait!"

Shen Xu turned around and walked into the elevator.

After leaving the inpatient department, I sat on a bench in the rest area, looked up at the flowing white clouds in the sky, and slowly closed my eyes.

Shen Xu, I only have one request, please, don't hurt him.

I think, forget him a little bit... Only by staying with him can I cheer up... One day, I will forget him...

You have forgotten for 20 years, but you still haven't forgotten...

Wan Chen's life is also a boring black and white.

Perhaps, when they were fighting hard, thinking of their past, they also shed sad and helpless tears.

Perhaps, when the career was brilliant, facing the empty home, I also sighed and sighed countless times.

Maybe, when I dreamed back at midnight, I was entangled in pain and regret, and I called his name again and again.

For 20 years, in Wan Chen's life, there was only one person named Shen Xu.

His once, his only.

And all he could do was to ruin this humblest wish like a cruel executioner.

On the eighth day of the Lunar New Year, Shen Xu bid farewell to Uncle Wan and Aunt Li, and Wan Chen sent him to the station.

Outside the waiting room, Wanchen handed the suitcase to him, "There are too many people on the bus, so be careful. In the side pocket of the bag, there is today's newly stewed crucian carp soup in a thermos. Remember to drink some at noon."

Shen Xu nodded, "Go back! Be careful on the road."

Wan Chen smiled slightly, "Okay."

After finishing speaking, there was no movement, and he still stood where he was, looking straight at him.

Shen Xu lowered his eyes, turned around slowly, followed the flow of people towards the ticket gate, and walked out of Wan Chen's sight.

On the train, he dug out the thermos cup in his side pocket, unscrewed the lid, and a strong smell of fish came to his nostrils.

At four o'clock in the morning, Wan Chen fished out two crucian carps bought yesterday from a small water basin, committed suicide by himself, and stewed them on low heat for more than two hours.

During those two hours, Wan Chen stayed in the kitchen.

As if there was nothing else to do, he stared blankly at the fire.

The milky white fish soup has chopped garlic sprouts floating on the surface, and the aroma is compelling.

Shen Xu sipped it, it tasted delicious, and drove away the cold all the way.

As the train was approaching the station, he pulled out his phone and texted someone.

"When you're done, go home. This is your home too."

No more hurt, no more suspicion.

Give him time, under the same sky, while healing the wound, forget a little bit, let go a little bit.

They walked on different paths, and one day, maybe one day, they could be friends again.

Continue the awkward friendship before the age of 17.

After getting off the train, He Lei, who was waiting outside the station, waved to him, while Shen Xu pulled the suitcase, with a smile on his lips, and quickly walked towards his lover.

This is the person he needs to protect, guarding them together, the final happiness.

One month later, a huge earthquake occurred in e City, and He Lei's factory was located in the hardest-hit area.

From that day on, Shen Xu could no longer contact him.