Eat little by little

"Lin Xu, look at the results of these weekly tests, they have dropped very badly, especially your math..." The homeroom teacher tapped the edge of the table with his fingers and made a low crackling sound.

The fan blades of the air conditioner in the office were swinging up and down, like a snake spitting out a letter, emitting hissing white air.

Lin Xu was shivering from the cold, his brain was paralyzed by sleepiness, his eyelids were as heavy as a thousand pieces of gold, in front of him was the report card waving in the hand of the head teacher, but in his mind was a shaking phantom.

"Haha, don't grab it, give it to me!" A few laughing students ran past the window, and Lin Xu was awakened by the laughter. He looked out the window blankly, and his eyeballs were stung by the hot sunlight outside the corridor.

Once school started in September, he forgot the passage of time.The summer here is too long, and the sun is still scorching at the end of October, he almost forgets that winter is not far away.

In a few days, the cold wave will fall straight down, and overnight, the place will be filled with ice cold.

"Lin Xu, did you hear that?" The head teacher's voice suddenly rose.

Lin Xu was startled, Nuonuo nodded, and ran out while the class bell rang.As soon as I went out, I felt the heat next to my body, and it took me a while to get used to it.

The three-leaf fan in the classroom whirred, and the exercise books and papers on the students' desks were blown back and forth.

"How is it? What did the teacher say about you again?" The deskmate stepped forward and asked with concern.

Lin Xu fell asleep on the table as soon as he touched it, and replied vaguely, "It's okay. I'll sleep for a while, the teacher came and called me."

The sleepy image was like a giant beast pressing on his body, it was so heavy that he was unable to care about other things.

"What happened to you these days when I went to you? You are so sleepy..."

what happened?

Yeah what the hell happened to him.

The mobile phone he secretly carried was still stuck in his trouser pocket, and the screen was silently blacked out.He dialed Yang Fengrui almost every night, but he couldn't get through, or hung up as soon as he got through.

Since half a month ago, it was like a guerrilla war between him and Yang Fengrui.The guy was hiding, and he was running around trying to find it.

That guy doesn't skip class now, but he doesn't go to study at night, doesn't hand in homework, and maybe he often smokes a cigarette secretly.

He couldn't skip class, so he could only run around the teaching building during the break, but he never met that guy.

The messages he sent went nowhere, but the strange thing was that the other party never blocked his number.No matter when and where, as long as he dialed the number, he would definitely be able to make a call, but there was never a response from the other side.

During this period of time, Lin Xu was distracted in class, and his homework efficiency also dropped drastically. He had to catch up with homework every night, and fell asleep in class the next day. Such a vicious circle.After several weekly tests, the ranking has dropped to the bottom of the class.

The experimental class has a tradition of "kicking people". The crane tail of the class will be cleared out directly, and the outstanding members of the later classes can also join the front.

The teacher's eloquence was also because he was worried that Lin Xu would be "kicked" at the end of the semester.

For countless nights, Lin Xu leaned against the cold wall in the corridor, listened to the dial-up music from his mobile phone, closed his eyes, and counted the time.The first dialing is often not connected, so dial the second time.Usually the connection is made the third time, but before there is time to say anything, the other side will hang up in a hurry.

If there was no answer, Lin Xu would call over and over again tirelessly.

This is a long tug of war with no winners.

Once connected, before Lin Xu opened his mouth, a hoarse voice came out: "Lin Xu, stop hitting."

All the voices were choked in his throat, Lin Xu clenched the phone tightly, feeling that his soul was being compressed inch by inch.

"Honestly, Lin Xu, I don't want to see you. Sometimes I really want to drop out of school, so I'm relieved..."

Lin Xu squatted down, his hands and feet were stiff, and the sound of hanging up on the phone seemed like an iron rope hooked his limbs and dragged him into the abyss.At that moment, he only felt despair.

Lin Xu looked at the black screen of the phone for a long time, then said in a hoarse voice, "Asshole, can't you live better?"

If we can never see each other again, if we can never be together again, at least I hope you can live a better life.

Please, have a better time.

Lin Xu didn't know how long he could hold on, he was like a balloon leaking air, he was drying up day by day, and one day, he would no longer have the strength and courage.

He is not a god, he will be disappointed when he can't find that guy, he will feel uncomfortable when the phone is hung up, he will panic when he hears that the other party has another accident, he is just an ordinary child, he can't bear it day after day consumption.Maybe one day, he accidentally gave up.

But at that time, what about that guy?

Thinking about it this way, he was reluctant.

After grinding like this, it was November.The cold wave went straight down and moved forward indomitably, sweeping away the residual heat of summer and covering it with a lingering chill.

The fan blades were covered with dust, the windows and doors were closed tightly, and coughing and nose blowing sounded from time to time in the classroom.

After evening self-study, his roommate would greet him to go back together. Lin Xu hurriedly packed up his homework, and as soon as he went out, he faced the piercing cold wind.

"Lin Xu, why don't you leave?" The roommate pushed him.

Lin Xu was in a daze, and said in a low voice, "It's been a year." Without saying anything, he left with his roommate.

I still remember this time last year, when that guy hurriedly dragged him back to the dormitory to eat supper and take a shower, and played with him on the bed in the dormitory, chatting about interesting things that happened recently with his mobile phone, while harassing him. Let him do his homework.

That guy always said: You are so stupid, you will suffer whoever bullies you, just like a soft steamed bun, it’s okay, I will cover you from now on.Oh, by the way, Xiao Xu, help me get my coat...

Xiaoxu, something is wrong with me.

Xiaoxu, let me grab my hand again, just for a while.

Xiaoxu, give me a kiss, okay?

……

Lin Xu was walking on the familiar road back to the dormitory, looking at the figures pulled out from under the street lights, only seeing himself alone, "Ah Rui..."

There is such a name, which is on the tip of the tongue, never said, and reluctant to swallow.

That night, he didn't dial the number, and repeatedly fiddled with the phone in bed. It was almost early morning before he carefully typed a few words and deleted them one by one.

Before going to sleep, he picked up the phone again, rubbing his fingers back and forth on the few buttons on it.

--I miss you.

The phone under the pillow vibrated, and Yang Fengrui woke up from his light sleep, his eyes full of darkness.

It's getting cold these few days, he didn't bring winter clothes, and the quilt is also a thin summer quilt, which doesn't keep warm, and he often wakes up from the cold.Lin Xu didn't call tonight. He stayed up until the early morning and couldn't fall asleep. He guessed that Lin Xu might not be able to hold on anymore.

Heh, what is he thinking, this is the best way.

The phone screen lights up, and the finger slides to unlock it. "You have an unread message." After a pause, tap open...

In the middle of the night, in the darkness, a teenager curled up silently, his eyes were red, and he grabbed the phone in his hand.

People often say: It is easy to learn bad, but difficult to learn good.

Yang Fengrui didn't know if he was bad at school?Or in the eyes of everyone, he just became worse and worse.

He didn't care about other people's eyes before, but now he doesn't know why he starts to care.

There was a list of outstanding students in the college entrance examination over the years at the gate of the school. The names of the universities published on it were very shining, and it really blinded his eyes.He has never felt so far away from these people for a moment.

He never even thought that one day someone would point to Lin Xu and say: good class.Pointing at him and saying: poor class.

This is the funniest way of classification, but it makes him the coldest.

It's just that he suddenly realized that the future between him and Lin Xu seemed to be very different from this superficial and one-sided classification.

Now they have nothing but academic grades.Even if you are No.1 in the whole school, you will not be able to find a decent job if you go out with your transcript.The reason why everyone praises you again and again is because they fancy you in the future.

Just to get a glimpse of the leopard, students are only a small part of a person's life, but if you can't even live this small part well, how can you live other lives well?

If there is no wealth, if there is no talent, most people will just tremble on the road of study and work.

People are always unwilling to follow the established path and always want to be different, but people will start to compromise at certain times.

Yang Fengrui really didn't know what better path he could take besides studying to get into a good university?But if he doesn't take this road well, how can he live his life better.

He was wayward and irresponsible, but he began to think about these things.

His eyes were wide open, there was nowhere to settle in the darkness, and he could only open them blankly.

It’s hard to get back, he began to hate himself like this, but he couldn’t retreat at all, he didn’t attend classes for nearly two months, the content was completely unfamiliar, and he couldn’t keep up with the rest of the class. A normal friend.

He struggled to walk, the more depraved the more he wanted to give up on himself, the more difficult it was to look back, the more he was afraid of seeing Xiao Xu, he even hoped that Xiao Xu had never known him... At least, he would not be so embarrassing.

He hoped that he would no longer care about him, and was afraid that even he would give up on him.

Lin Xu gradually got used to the feeling of being sleepy every morning. When reading in the morning, he often closed his eyes while reading, and opened his eyes after a while to read a few more words.

I got used to it, and my grades barely picked up, but I no longer looked at the teacher's disappointed eyes.

This day was a bit weird. Since the morning, there has been a lot of noise outside. Lin Xu couldn't help but ask around what happened, but there was no new news.

When it was almost evening for self-study, it was getting dark outside, but a news like a snowball spread throughout the whole class: Several people climbed the wall and left the school gate, and the security guards chased them all the way and only caught one.

Lin Xu's eyes went black for a while, and he grabbed his phone and went out to find a small corner to press the phone. His heart felt cold all of a sudden, the other party's phone had been turned off.

Listening to the reminder sound from the mobile phone, Lin Xu suddenly felt his limbs were exhausted, and he wanted to throw away the mobile phone and not care about anything else.He obviously did nothing wrong, yet he was so worried every day. He had been working hard, but he couldn't see any effect.

He stuffed the phone back into his pocket, covered his head and closed his eyes for a while, took a deep breath, and then stood up.

Yang Fengrui was squinting his eyes and smoking a cigarette in a private Internet cafe at the back door of the school, while listening to the people above talking about something.

There are always a few gangsters in every school, relying on the number of people and family connections, they walk sideways, and friction is just a trivial matter. Whoever speaks offends others, and whoever robs whose horse Lah wait.

With a group of youths full of vigor and blood, they roll up their sleeves and start a fight, and they all agree to the same rules by default: do not involve school teachers and classmates, do not call the police and call the police.They also hate those who break the rules the most. If things get serious, it will be hard for everyone.

This time it was a conflict with a foreign school. The two parties made an appointment for a time and place to talk, but they didn't have a few good words when they met. It is often the first to strike regardless of 21. After all, it is not a gangster, but a bunch of gangsters. Boy, don't think so much.

Now it seems that the blood is so hot, but when I think about it later, it is nothing more than young people without brains.

Yang Fengrui was dragged here, and he only wanted to fight before going back. Unexpectedly, someone found out that the other party had brought a stick, and another had brought a knife.

Swords have no eyes, according to Yang Fengrui's experience, every time he uses the sword, there will be no good results, and he doesn't know what kind of bad luck he encountered today.

He anxiously found a charging cable for his dead phone, and when he turned it on, several messages popped up.

"Where are you?"

"If you don't tell me, you will go out and find you."

"I'm already out of school."

"I will always ask about convenience stores, Internet cafes, and KTVs near the school."

……

Yang Fengrui almost jumped up, this guy is so crazy!Looking at the time again, the most recent one was already 10 minutes ago, and he looked at the dark sky outside, and burst out several times in anger.

That guy must have escaped from the evening self-study and ran out.

He used to think that Lin Xu was a cowardly, timid and hypocritical guy, but in fact, Lin Xu was the bravest and most determined person.

And that timid person has always been him.

Yang Fengrui stood up and hurriedly dialed Lin Xu's number, but no one answered the phone after it rang for a long time.He fully believed that Lin Xu would really ask each family until he found this small Internet cafe.

"Damn it, that guy is crazy." Yang Fengrui whispered.

"What's wrong?" Someone next to him asked him.

"I go out for a while."

"Where are you going?" The person next to him narrowed his eyes vigilantly, "The person over there is coming soon, you don't want to run away, do you?"

"What are you running for! I'll be back later!" Yang Fengrui was really anxious, he wanted to punch this man in the face, and when he thought that Lin Xu might really be approaching this place step by step, he felt restless. .

"Hey, wait a minute, who gave you permission to go?"

Yang Fengrui ignored the obstructions behind him, stepped over the scattered chairs and ran out, but stopped abruptly. Dozens of young people with sticks and bricks had already stopped outside, Yang Fengrui cursed secretly , was deceived, this posture is not to provoke a foreign school at all, or those little hooligans on the street who have no books and are just looking for trouble.

Dozens of people on the other side glanced at Yang Fengrui, and before they had time to react, they saw a person chasing after him shouting: "Yang Fengrui, stop! Someone will come over there soon!" When he went out, he was also stunned.

It was dark at night, and several street lights were out of order. Only the light from the Internet cafe was left in this area, barely illuminating the figures of dozens of people on the other side.

A few uncles and aunts who set up stalls on the side of the road started to pack up and run away.

Yang Fengrui looked down at the phone, gritted his teeth, and ran away suddenly. There was a chaotic sound behind him, and he had no time to worry about it.

When it got cold, the wind at night was like a knife scraping people, and Yang Fengrui's exposed skin was cut into pieces and bled red as if he had been cut by Ling Chi.

He felt a roar in his ears, his face was distorted, his brain was starved of oxygen, and phantoms appeared in front of his eyes, which began to turn black.

Two people were chasing after him, they were more familiar with the surrounding terrain than him, and they couldn't get rid of them no matter what.

The dense footsteps were like the sound of gongs and drums chasing after his life, forcing him to not stop even one step.

He gasped for air, his mind went blank for a moment, he felt that everything around him was fake, it was just a dream.

He is just a student studying in the classroom. He has a good friend named Lin Xu. He likes him very much. He stays with him every day, worrying about class during the day and homework at night.Day by day.

He blinked desperately again, staggered, and almost fell to the ground, his palms pressed the floor and scratched most of the skin, causing him to grunt in pain.He glanced at the people behind him, gritted his teeth, stood up and ran.

The capillaries on the palm burst, and a large area was stained with blood.

Why is this happening?

There were not many people wandering around the school, and the few people he encountered along the way hid far away.

During the frantic running, Yang Fengrui suddenly felt that everything in front of him was extremely ridiculous, even bringing him along was a joke.

He went directly into the residential area behind the school and ran in the alley, throwing away two people in the middle, but not long after, he was discovered by them again.Yang Fengrui fought the two of them a few times, took two sap shots, and ran away while grabbing the gap.

At this time, he was really scared. He was afraid that he would be caught and beaten to death here, and he was afraid of being disabled. He was worried that he would pass out and no one would find him.

He looked like an adult, but he was still a child after all, and he really had no way to resist those people outside the school who were looking for trouble all the year round.

"Ari?"

When he heard Lin Xu's voice, Yang Fengrui really felt desperate. He saw Lin Xu running towards him from a distance, and shouted: "Don't come, run!"

During the speaking interval, he was pushed up and crushed to the ground by the two people behind, and greeted him with a few muffled punches.

Lin Xu realized that something was wrong, and was about to run back, at least to call the police first, but this was what these people were most wary of. He hadn't run two steps before he was caught on the ground and punched twice on the head by someone who caught up with him.

Lin Xu started to feel dizzy with a buzzing sound in his brain, and he felt a strong sense of vomiting in his chest. He couldn't struggle at all, his hands were pressed behind him, and his fists greeted invisible places such as his waist and back.The body was turned over, and the other party pressed his stomach against his knees on the floor. Lin Xu twitched in pain with an "ah", acid came out of his mouth, and the other party grabbed his neck, and turned his head away with a "uh". I just kept vomiting, vomiting acid water all over the floor.He couldn't even open his eyes, the people behind had already grabbed his hair and pulled him up, all the way to the place where Yang Fengrui was lying down.

Lin Xu groaned in pain, and staggered along the way.As soon as the other party let go, he fell directly to the ground, and only had time to look at Yang Fengrui before he was kicked in the back again, his eyes darkened, and he passed out.

Yang Fengrui's eyes were cracked, he looked at Lin Xu who was lying on the ground, he struggled like crazy, he squeezed his limbs against the two people, and put his knees on his back, the pain caused him to keep screaming, and the other person slammed A piece of cloth ball entered his mouth, tightly covering his mouth.

It was very dark that night, and the street lamps were far away, unable to illuminate this dark corner.There was a dead silence all around, only the muffled sound of fists beckoning to the flesh, or the endless humming of pain.

Yang Fengrui's eyes widened, looking at Lin Xu not far away who was no longer moving, tears kept streaming down his eyes.

You idiot!Why come here!Why are you looking for me!

His cheeks were pressed against the rough plaster, the floor was wet with tears, all the saliva in his mouth was absorbed by the cloth, his throat was so dry and hoarse, the severe pain came from every place where he was kicked, and he uttered a groan The sound was ugly, like the friction of iron wire.

Tears suddenly surged up and flowed wantonly.

He's just so useless and so embarrassing every time.He always wants to protect Xiaoxu, but always hurts him the most.He wanted the best for Xiao Xu, but let Xiao Xu be beaten with him.Heh, heh, this is him.

It was the same in front of Fang Xue before, he had no way to protect Xiao Xu.

Why?Why?

What's even more ridiculous is that no matter what happens to him, Lin Xu will show up.

When he lost his temper and quarreled with the teacher and skipped class, it was Lin Xu who chased him out; when he felt something was wrong and was afraid, it was Lin Xu who took the initiative to tell him to try; It was Lin Xu who took the initiative to bid farewell... Even after he refused again and again, this fool still skipped class and chased him out.

He was limp on the ground, and every slight movement caused pain in his limbs.

The two of them seemed to be enjoying themselves, cursed a few times, kicked Yang Fengrui who was on the ground, and left.

The limestone floor was cold and rough. Yang Fengrui turned over slightly, exhausted from the pain, and looked at the night sky like a piece of rag.

Tears flowed down the temples and stuck to the hair on both sides wetly, making a paste.

He never hated himself for a moment for being weak and powerless, for not being able to protect Lin Xu, for not being able to give Lin Xu the best.

In that cold night, he looked at Lin Xu next to him and clenched his fists tightly, but his gaze became firm as if fierce.

When Lin Xu woke up again, he was already on the hospital bed.Many places on the body have been disinfected with liquid medicine, and some places are even bandaged, looking very miserable.

When he opened his eyes, he still couldn't realize what happened. The time was lost, and it took him a long time to figure it out. He moved his body and turned pale with pain.

"Don't move around." The elder brother next to him said, "Why did you have such a big accident? Mom cried when she saw you."

Lin Xu shook his head, looking at the ceiling in a daze, as if he was stupid.

"There is also a boy who sent it with you. He said he was robbed... What are you doing out at night?"

Lin Xu's eyes moved, as if he had gained some consciousness, he glanced to the side.

Lin Jian vaguely guessed something, wanted to ask but couldn't find a reason, so he sighed, "You rest first, are you hungry? I'll help you get food."

Lin Xu closed his eyes, his mind was still filled with the sound of physical beatings and muffled groans of pain. He didn't know when he opened his eyes again, and his eyes were also covered with bloodshot eyes.

During the whole process, he didn't ask any news about Yang Fengrui, he didn't dare to ask, and he was afraid to ask.

"Several places on my body were hurt badly. I took medicine and had to recuperate for a few days. My mother has already asked the teacher for leave for you, and I asked my classmates to help me remember my homework. It's okay."

"Yeah." Lin Xu nodded.Those people also calculated the right place to shoot. They didn't shoot at the joints and vital points, and they didn't hurt without damage. Only by leaving room for everything can they avoid follow-up troubles.

Lin Xu has no major problems and can get out of bed, but just in case, he should stay in the hospital for two days.After six o'clock in the evening, visiting relatives left one by one.

Lin Xu turned his head and watched the sun gradually set outside the window, the blood-red sky gradually faded to dark black, and his eyes were also stained with thick black.

There are two other patients in the ward, both of whom are elderly and fell asleep very early.To accommodate the two elderly people, the lights in the ward were also turned off.

Lin Xu lowered his head and played with the phone, looking at the three words "Yang Fengrui" on the screen, but couldn't press it at night, and could only stare blankly.

The door of the ward was pushed open suddenly, and Lin Xu's body shook. Looking at the door, there was a figure of a young man in the light and shadow.

He gradually opened his eyes wide, watching the other person walk over step by step until he stood in front of the hospital bed.

The two looked at each other silently, and looked at each other quietly for a long time in the dark.

A large area of ​​Yang Fengrui's face was covered with medicine, and he looked very distressed, with a bandage on his left palm.There were only so many wounds visible in the dark.

Lin Xu looked at it again, and said softly, "Where else is injured?"

Yang Fengrui's eyes moved, and suddenly became very soft, and he shook his head lightly, "It's okay."

The two remained silent for a long time, and Lin Xu stopped looking at each other and lowered his head.

Yang Fengrui moved his hands, stretched forward tremblingly, touched the place where the medicine was applied on his neck, and said in a low voice, "Does it hurt?"

The young man looked up at him again, his image was still reflected in his clean eyes, "It doesn't hurt."

Yang Fengrui choked up, "You fool." His voice trembled, and he took two steps forward as if he couldn't support himself, his eyes fell on the sick young man on the hospital bed, and he said hoarsely, "Why are you here? Do you know what's going to happen!"

"I don't know," Lin Xu said softly, "but I think something is going to happen to you."

The answer is even unbelievable.

Lin Xu stopped explaining and lowered his head.

Maybe even you don't remember those words scattered in the wind, those promises crushed in time.

How long ago, I told you:

I will always be at your side.

Lin Xu sometimes feels that this is probably destined.From the first time he saw this guy huddling pitifully on the desk with a hungry stomach, he couldn't help but want to go forward.Just one step determines the fate of the future.

He couldn't see this guy suffering, and couldn't bear this guy's grievances, so he pampered and pampered him without restraint.

Yang Fengrui was an accident in his life, the sunshine he found himself.

"How can you be so stupid?" Yang Fengrui lowered his body and looked directly into Lin Xu's eyes, his eyes were red, "You are so stupid, what should I do? I..." How can I leave you alone?How can I bear to have you standing next to someone else in the future?

In the darkness, the faces of the two were not very clear, only a silhouette.

Lin Xu just looked at him.

Yang Fengrui leaned against Lin Xu's forehead and said softly, "Xiao Xu, Xiao Xu..."

I like these two syllables, I can't wait to chew them up and swallow them in my stomach, it hurts on the apex of my heart.

Yang Fengrui leaned forward suddenly, hugged Lin Xu fiercely, hugged him tightly, and said word by word, "You are mine."

You can only be mine.

The window revealed a little light outside, and the hospital bed reflected two black shadows hugging the boy tightly.

Lin Xu wanted to reach out to touch the boy's head, but felt extremely tired. Day after day, his persistence was really reaching its limit.

Like, but can't be together.

This was perhaps his most painful realization.

"Ah Rui, if you continue like this, I won't let you go." Lin Xu said softly, with unspeakable exhaustion.

He had no choice but to find him again and again, to be by his side again and again.

Yang Fengrui's body shook, his eye circles suddenly turned red, he buried his body, hugged the person in his arms tightly, and pressed against the other's cheek, "You can't let me go." His voice was a little anxious, like It was aggrieved, "Do you dare not want me?"

That night when he was beaten, on the cold floor, he seemed to have grown up suddenly, and he swore: he would give Xiao Xu the best.

This is the heaviest promise he can make.