come close to me hold me

1. If life is just as first seen

In the old town of Qinghuan City, in the high-end residential area where you turn right along Wutong Road for 500 meters, there is a family of famous musicians.The only daughter, An Lin, has been favored by thousands of people in this big family since she was a child because of her innate musical talent.Grandpa chased to feed the sugar, uncle and aunt held it in the palm of their hand, and even grandma, who was always serious, was used to it.

This music prodigy made his mark in international competitions at the age of six, and was recruited into the primary school attached to the Conservatory of Music at the age of seven.It is said that in the large system of the Conservatory of Music, graduate students are inferior to prodigies from the attached primary school, because most children who become monks halfway through study and practice hard for a few years may also be admitted to the undergraduate or graduate students of the Conservatory of Music, but they can enter the attached primary school. Every child must have the most solid child skills and the talent of God chasing and feeding.

Anlin likes the violin more than Barbie plush toys. Sometimes she even forgets to eat and sleep when she meets her favorite tunes. Her professional level is enough to amaze the judges of various competitions.

And gifted children also have their shortcomings. During elementary school, they were able to rank among the best in the class because of a little cleverness. In junior high school, their academic performance plummeted, and they fell off the back of the car all of a sudden.The mother doesn't want her daughter to degenerate like this, and she doesn't want her daughter to be delayed because of her cultural achievements

As soon as she heard that the neighbor's daughter was a student of the medical university, she immediately ran to make three requests and invited An Lin to be a tutor.

Therefore, that summer vacation was the first time An Lin and Chen Nianci met.

"Mr. Chen, don't go to class. How about I play a song for you? I'm new, listen to it."

Chen Nianci put down the textbook helplessly: "No, I'm here to help you with your homework, and you will be charged on time, so there is no delay."

An Lin looked at that rigid look, and couldn't help but chuckle: "Reading makes people stupid? Now take a break, and make up for it later, isn't it still an hour and a half? Oh, Mrs. Chen~ Mom is not at home after all, Just let me rest!

Chen Nianci had no choice but to obey this spoiled girl.

This is also the first time in Chen Nianci's life that someone played a complete piece of music for her.

The girl who was absent-minded while doing her homework seemed to be a different person when she picked up the bow. Her nimble waist swayed and turned slowly according to the melody, and her whole body radiated light. A girl, an ignorant expression of her true love.

Chen Nianci couldn't help being a little moved, and silently sighed in her heart that such a talented girl will definitely make a difference in the future. She has almost seen that outstanding appearance, shining under the spotlight on the stage, pouring out her soul in the palace of art.For the first time, she felt that grades and homework were not the only criterion for measuring a person's excellence.

In general, she saw another world, or in other words, she saw another possibility in this absurd world.

The girl asked her: "Mr. Chen, what did you hear from this piece of music?"

And she doesn't know the rhythm, so she is a little ashamed if she doesn't. She has been studying for more than [-] years, and she only knows how to read.

She lowered her head and said coldly: "I don't know, it's time for us to go to class."

2. Moonlight is her embellishment

When Chen Nianci was 32 years old, An Lin was 20 years old.

One of them became an outstanding surgeon, and the other was admitted to a well-known orchestra with a professional No.1 score.

"Mr. Chen, do you know? Artists need wine, sinking in wine, reshaping in wine, that's how inspiration comes from."

Chen Nianci pulled An Lin who was staggering, and responded to her in a scientific tone: "Doctors never drink on weekdays, because they have to be on call at all times."

An Lin stopped in her tracks and forgot to look at her with drunken eyes. She snorted softly and smiled a little with her winking eyes: "Are all surgeons as boring as you?"

Chen Nianci bowed his head and remained silent.

Boring, that's what her fiancé whom she met on a blind date said.If she hadn't been extremely boring, she wouldn't have waited until she was 30 years old to go on a blind date, and she wouldn't have agreed to the family's arrangement to get engaged to a man who had eaten twice.

An Lin continued to walk forward, thinking of the serious and dazed look of Chen Nianci during the summer vacation when they first met, thinking of the love letter that was secretly stuffed in front of Chen Nianci's window when she was in college, and thinking of the phone call that she paid to meet Chen Nianci...... I don't know since when, the name Nianci has been lingering in her mind.

"Nian Nian, you are not my teacher now, right?"

"Ah."

Chen Nianci thought about it, but in fact she never counted, she was just a neighbor's big sister who could help with homework.

“So can we… do something different?”

An Lin stopped again.

That winter, the girl kissed her drunkenly.

"Nian Nian, don't get married, okay? Love me, okay?"

She didn't resist, at least, she didn't resist the girl like she resisted the man.The girl's lipstick is peach-flavored, sweet and sour, just like the feelings hidden in her heart. She never dared to say, or even believe that she would fall in love with a woman, a woman younger than her. A woman in her teens.

“Are all musicians as uninhibited as you are?”

The moonlight was beautiful that night, and they were even more beautiful.In the warmth and sweat, in the ups and downs, the moonlight has become an embellishment.

That night, the girl asked her again: "What did you hear when I played tonight?"

She replied: "Love, and devotion."

3. Watch alone

For the rest of his life, Chen Nianci did it.

The girl told her not to get married, so she really never got married in her whole life.

It's just that the love between the two people started from the chattering quarrel between the two families, and from the time when she cruelly pushed the girl to that strange art country, and it turned into the loneliness of her alone.

Her girl was like a bird flying into her barren world, circling around, and then flying away, leaving an indelible mark, but never flew back.

She learned to drink, learned to be romantic, and finally learned to let go.

She said let's be friends, it's good to be friends.

Don't care that in the end your children and grandchildren will be full, and I will die alone.

Don't care about being your bridesmaid, receiving your bouquet, and being your child's godmother.

Maybe it's good to grow old in another way.

Work is booming, and Chen Nianci also meets the second student in his life——Jiang Han.

Jiang Han was born in a family of doctors, and he has been fascinated by it since he was a child. He is quick to learn anything related to medicine, but this is not the reason why Chen Nianci pays special attention to her.

Every evening, there is always a woman waiting at the entrance of the hospital, smiling and waving to Jiang Han, putting on a safety helmet for her, fastening the safety buckle thoughtfully, and Jiang Han always smiles shyly and sits in the back seat of the electric car , hugging the woman's waist tightly, leaning against her ear and whispering.

Chen Nianci often saw this scene, seeing the two girls as sweet and warm as the spring breeze blowing on their faces, with bitter tenderness in their eyes.

Tenderness, just because she has tasted the beauty of love between two women, she sincerely wishes this pair of lovers to last forever.

Bitterness is because we know that resistance is long, long, and difficult.

As luck would have it, Jiang Han got married a few years later.Up to this time, her vision of this world has become even darker.

A generation decays, and a new generation will eventually rise. Not long after the child named Jiang Yien was born, the proposal to legalize same-sex marriage was officially discussed for the first time.

She asked Jiang Han if she regretted it? Jiang Han just looked at the baby sleeping soundly in his arms and smiled slightly: "Is there any regret, she is also a gift from God. I want to grow up with her and give the best Give it all to her."

People with a good attitude can always be relieved from the pain, but there are always people who can't get out of it for ten or twenty years.

On the same day, An Lin was holding nine-year-old An Xun in her arms, with an eight-month-old pregnant belly, and she burst into tears watching the news.

self uniform

An Xun inherited the artistic cells of his parents. He has been a child with strong empathy since he was a child. Although he doesn't understand the complexities of adults.

But that real sadness also made the tip of her nose ache, and she burst into tears: "Mom..."

An Lin didn't dare to face up to her daughter, she loved her, but sorry, occasionally, she also hoped that she would never be there.

The years are accompanied by the passage of regret, the face is aging, and the children are growing up slowly. Chen Nianci thinks that it will be fine if this goes on for the rest of his life. Who knows that the torture of God is far more than that.

A sudden mudslide took away her most beloved student.She will always remember when Jiang Han followed her husband and ran out of the camp tent against the wind and rain, and looked back at her with a smile and said: "Mr. Chen, if the two of us can't come back this time, Xiao En, I will entrust you to you!"

She replied: "Stinky girl! What are you talking about?"

Unexpectedly—farewell, it really became a farewell.

At that time, Jiang Yien was less than seven years old, hiding behind the corner of the hospital corridor, watching her grandmother and grandparents crying heartbreakingly, and seeing the adults passing by looking at her with the same pitiful and powerless eyes .

Before she could figure out what the mudslide was, that thing snatched her parents away.She thought that she couldn't cry anymore at the age of seven, but the adults were all crying, so it should be okay to cry by herself.

Later, she cried loudly, and the mother who promised to grow up with her would never come to hug her again.

A year later, An Lin also left.The unrestrained genius girl finally expressed her final dissatisfaction and stubbornness in a way that no one expected.

Whoever's life has never been brilliant is born to be a tragedy.The genius girl put down her violin, and the gentle mother left her young child behind. Those souls who even decorated the moonlight for them were finally destroyed by life into a handful of loess.

Go ahead, and broken.

This was undoubtedly the most absurd sad news in Chen Nianci's life. She grabbed the man by the neckline and reprimanded him in pain. For the first time, her usual peaceful face turned ferocious.

In the desolate late autumn, she despaired every step of the way, sighed and cried blood.She took off her cumbersome clothes and stood on the bank of the river where An Lin drowned, only one step away, and she was about to run towards her.

I, Chen Nianci, have saved lives and healed the wounded all my life, and treat her and other people's children as my own. What did I do wrong...

Why...why do you do this to me...

I have retreated again and again, and even the chance to let me accompany her to grow old as a friend will be taken away...

"Someone jumped into the river! Come save them!"

Obviously, she is not the only one who has figured out all the troubles in this world, someone else took the lead.Hearing the commotion behind her, she finally took back the half step she had already taken, and rushed into the crowd:

"I'm a doctor, get out of the way."

When the new year came, the man survived, and so did she.

The man she rescued was also a doctor, and the torch was slowly ignited at the end of the medical journey that he wanted to give up halfway, and many people were saved because of this.Many years later, he became the vice president of Renzhuo Hospital.His name is Qin Shi.

In the future, Chen Nianci's life is nothing but endless lonely watching, watching An find adulthood, Jiang Yien grows up, and students become useful.Watching the love that was crushed by the heavens until there is no scum left, looking forward to the next life.

She lived up to her promise and remained in love till the end of her life, but it was a pity that she could never see her girl again.

4. This scene

"Great grandma!"

On New Year's Eve, as soon as Chen Nianci opened the door, she saw Little Moon waving her little hands, lovingly received them in her arms, and couldn't help kissing that pink and jade-carved smiling face: "What did you call me?"

Little Yueyue was full of clever eyes, holding Chen Nianci's face and coaxing like an adult: "Mom asked me to call me Grandma, and Mommy asked me to call me Grandma, so you are my Grandma and Grandma!"

"Oh! Our moon is so smart?!" Chen Nianci was full of doting.

An Xun smiled and shook his head: "Okay Moon, come down and Mommy will take off your shoes."

Jiang Yien stopped An Xun who was bending over, looked at Little Moon and asked, "What should a three-year-old do?"

Hearing this, little moon climbed down from Chen Nianci's arms, walked to the steps of the entrance and sat down: "The teacher said, kindergarten children should send a few things to do! Moon can send a few shoes and shoes ..." She was clever in thinking, but her speech was the same as Jiang Yien's when she was a child, slow and limp, and when she finished speaking, her shoes were almost taken off.

An Xun nodded and smiled at his daughter, fell in love with that sweet little milk voice countless times, leaned on Jiang Yien unknowingly, and was very cute.

"The moon has really grown up," Chen Nianci couldn't help sighing, and waved to the little moon: "Come on, grandma and grandma will take you to see something new!"

Hearing this weird address, An Xun couldn't help rubbing his brows with his forehead.

"What?!" Moon's eyes lit up, and he followed up: "It's a fish! Mommy, there are little fish!"

She turned around and ran back to An Xun and Jiang Yien, and took a person to the kitchen with one hand. The grandparents and grandchildren watched the two ordinary fish for a long time, probably because there were children around, and everything was novel.

"Grandma, grandma, why don't the fish close their eyes in the water? When Mommy bathed me, water got into my eyes and it hurt so much! Don't the fish's eyes hurt?" Little Moon tilted her head and said to this The world has new curiosity.

"Fish don't have eyelids, so they can't close their eyes." Chen Nianci replied very formally.

Little Moon's big eyes are full of doubts: "What is yan...jian...?"

"Well, this... the eyelids are..." Chen Nianci was speechless.

Jiang Yien couldn't help laughing out loud.

Little Moon scratched her head, she didn't know why her mother was smiling, and she didn't know what grandma and grandma meant by yanjian, she was just a child in the small class of kindergarten, she thought, she should know when she was in the big class.

An Xun sighed with a smile, hugged Little Moon, and gently tapped her eyelids with his fingertips: "This is the eyelids. It's like the clothes for our eyes. Fish's eyes don't have clothes, so we can only exposed..."

Then, she gently supported Xiao Yueyue's upper eyelids, and asked her to try to close her eyes again, but it was really difficult to close them.

"It's amazing! So this is Yanjian! Mommy is amazing!" Little Moon applauded excitedly, like a little seal, and then ran into Chen Nianci's arms, full of admiration: "Mom is right, grandma Grandma knows everything!"

Chen Nianci was stunned for a second, then laughed.

Jiang Yien was particularly moved when he saw An Xun's patience, he couldn't help rubbing his arms against her, and murmured in attachment: "Mommy is really amazing~"

An Xun turned his face slightly, and accidentally brushed his lips against Jiang Yien's cheek, and replied softly in his ear: "Thank you, Mom, for the compliment."

Seeing that the time was about the same, Chen Nianci smiled kindly: "Little Moon, let's eat these two fish tonight, okay?

Little Moon paused, her smile froze instantly, curled her lips, couldn't help it for a few seconds, and burst into tears.

Fish, finally escaped unharmed.

After dinner, the family of three stayed overnight at Chen Nianci's house. Jiang Yien took Little Moon to take a bath and went to bed to tell stories. An Xun helped Chen Nianci clean up the dishes and soaked the porridge beans for tomorrow morning.

"Is everything okay with Xiaoen?" Chen Nianci cared like an old mother.

An Xun nodded and fiddled with the bowl and chopsticks, looked up at Chen Nianci, his eyes were full of smiles, and his sense of happiness was self-evident.

"It's rare. They say that the seven-year itch in marriage is hard to bear. Are you in the ninth year?"

"Yeah, it's been nine years..." She looked at her hands with clear eyes. No matter how delicate the care was, it was not worth the frequent consumption of disinfectant before and after the operation.

What kind of face can stand up to aging, not to mention that the years have been regarded as pity for her.Although there are a few more wrinkles in the corners of her eyes when she smiles, she still has charm, and she is even more sexy. Occasionally, she will be questioned by critical patients for being too young to be a chief expert (of course, this kind of distress is more common in Jiang Yien) ).

The gentleness that age has precipitated in her, and Jiang Yien, who is always giving in to the future, is fascinated.

For example, the more refined and calm posture during the operation, the more determined and peaceful eyes, and the spirit of pointing the country when wearing a white coat and leading a group of young people to make rounds.

For example, when you wake up on weekend mornings, you stretch out your lazy charm, and the big waves of hot curls are flicking and swaying on the bottom neckline of the wine red velvet nightdress.

She would embrace her more bluntly, leaning against her forehead, crossing the tip of her nose, letting her slender eyelashes slide across her cheeks, and coquettishly with a sleepy hoarse voice: "So sleepy..."

An Xun is a true strong woman in her career, but in life, she is also a complete little woman.It is said that a person with a truly strong heart will never be afraid to admit defeat at home. This is fully reflected in An Xun.

She will surrender to her lover, apologize to her children, will be cared for and protected by her family willingly, and will use her strongest strength to protect her family when necessary.

Therefore, Jiang Yien never resists aging, and even looks forward to his next ten years.But she wants time to stop more, so that she can always hug her An Xun when she wakes up.

If someone tells Little Moon in the future that her mommy used to be an iceberg witch who couldn't even talk about her pain and fatigue, Little Moon will definitely scratch her head in doubt, and then run to complain to Jiang Yien: " Mom, this person is talking nonsense, Mommy."

"I thought everything would become normal after I got married, but I still feel heartbroken for her countless times every day. I wake up in the morning and see the squeezed toothpaste, come home from work and see the hot water, and wake up suddenly at night to see her. Sleeping next to her, she's in her thirties, her eyelashes are still flickering...Mom, don't you think it's strange that we are like this?" An Xun smiled and shook his head.

"What did you call me...?" Chen Nianci was in a daze for a while, wondering if he missed a word.

"You already recognize the granddaughter Xiaoyue, do you still want to get rid of our two daughters?" Jiang Yien coaxed her daughter to sleep, and came out just in time to hear An Xun's confession, and at this moment, she immediately joined in to answer.

Chen Nianci's eyes were moist.

"You guys...Call me again..."

Jiang Yien and An Xun looked at each other with a smile, said in unison: "Mom!", and then both hugged each other.

This year, Chen Nianci was 82 years old, healthy and clear-headed.

She didn't die alone.

She is full of children and grandchildren.