Morbid domestication

Xu Sheng seemed startled by my sudden raised voice, he looked at me and muttered for a long time, but he didn't say why.

The atmosphere fell silent for a moment, and the air was filled with depression.

After a while, he whispered, "I'm sorry, Nian Nian."

"You came here just to say 'sorry' to me?" I kind of wanted to laugh, and I actually did.

After laughing a few times, I asked him, "Say I'm sorry? Then what? Please forgive me?"

He shook his head in a panic, "No, Nian Nian, I just—"

I interrupted him: "Do you know what the most worthless thing in this world is?"

"—That is the apology after the injury. The injury has already been caused. Your sorry can't undo anything. Your sorry is just that you want to find a reason for yourself to feel at ease."

I stared into his eyes and said word by word: "And the person you are most sorry for is my mother, but unfortunately she is dead, and you will never be forgiven again."

His expression was a little stiff at first, and after he realized it, he was a little at a loss.

"Nian Nian, I know it's my father's fault, which caused a lot of harm to you and your mother. I...I'm also very sad about your mother's matter."

He took a deep breath and seemed sad, his voice trembling.

"But when you were young, you didn't know many things. There was a problem with the Xu family's capital chain. As the son of the Xu family, I had to bear the responsibility. Divorcing your mother was a last resort. I didn't want to marry someone else, but I do not know what to do."

"I'm not good at doing business. Your grandfather single-handedly supported the Xu family's big family business. Not only that, but your side uncles also stared at the Xu family. Later, the Xu family was framed by a design, and they couldn't support it. down..."

"So you gave up on me and my mother?" I looked at Xu Sheng, who was in a broken mood with his head down, and said indifferently.

He hurriedly raised his head, shook his head in a panic, and denied, "I didn't, I never wanted to give up on you."

He only mentioned me, not my mother.

I was not reconciled, and wanted to replace my dead mother and asked the man in front of me: "What about my mother? Should she be given up?"

"I also hate your mother, but I can't be so selfish... I also hate myself for being so useless." He suddenly continued as if thinking of something.

"But your grandfather gave her a sum of money as compensation, but she didn't ask for it. You know, your mother has always been that high-minded, and then she took you away quietly. I have been looking for you for a long time, but ..."

"—but then you got married and you had a new family!"

"You also had a new child a few years later, when you gave her a full moon wine, you even covered the Internet with news!"

I stared at his dodging eyes, and my voice became higher and higher: "Did you ever think about being sorry for me at that time? You know that I—"

My voice stopped abruptly.

I took a deep breath and suppressed the sadness and anger in my heart, and suddenly I felt completely boring.

Why bother, it's useless to talk about it now.

Now that I have said it, it will not change the predicament I faced back then.

I remember that I was already a sophomore in high school at that time, and in order to make up for the tuition fees for the start of school and the daily expenses of the family, I worked non-stop every day.

At that time, my mother had been suffering from depression for a long time and had not worked for several years. Even if she was not sick, I think it would be difficult for her to face all kinds of unbearable rumors outside.

A beautiful single woman from out of town, with no one to rely on in the local area, and with a half-old child, plus she is not sociable, no matter what she does or what others do to her, it is hers wrong.

Sometimes, human malice is just so unprovoked and endless.

It was the night of the summer vacation. The small restaurant where I worked was closed. The boss and his wife were watching TV in the dining room, while I was washing dishes in the sweltering back kitchen. Go home to cook for my mother, and finally review my homework.

Through the glass window, I heard the indistinct voices of the boss and the proprietress in the background of the noisy TV, such as "rich people", "It's such a big show to be a full moon."

At first I didn't care, the sink was full of dishes to be washed, and I was in a hurry, I didn't care whose house was celebrating the full moon, until my ears keenly caught the word "Xu's family".

I raised my head involuntarily, and looked at the TV above through the glass.

That should be a replay, the screen is full of flowers and lively, and everyone the camera scans has a real or fake smile on their face.

I remember looking at the screen, the man I should call my father, embraced her and the little girl in her arms in a very loving gesture, the picture was very warm.

I think if I were not his child, I would think that the other party is a very happy family. If I catch up with me when I am not busy, maybe I will sincerely wish the other party in my heart.

I remember standing in front of the sink for a long, long time, my chest was so heavy that I couldn't breathe, and my eyes were so sore, but I didn't cry.

The past few years of life experience have taught me that tears are useless if no one loves you and cares about you, except to make yourself look weak.

Until many years have passed, I still think of that scene from time to time. It is definitely the most black humorous scene in my past life.

Seeing that I hadn't spoken for a long time, Xu Sheng called out hesitantly, "Niannian..., Dad... I know you must have suffered a lot in the past, and I couldn't help it, but now that you're back, Dad will make it up to you." Yours, Dad also has a lot of assets over the years..."

"Papa will leave it to you, okay?"

I looked at his eyes with hope in his heart, and felt tired for a while. I closed my eyes, and then said to him again: "You go."

He was a little anxious for a moment, he even stood up from his seat, he seemed to want to come over and pull me, his hand even touched the corner of my clothes but he forcibly took it back.

In the end, he stood where he was, and said hurriedly, "Dad didn't ask for your forgiveness! Dad just wanted to make up for you. You don't have to forgive me! As long as you live a good life!"

"I'm doing fine." I looked at him and said calmly and cruelly, "If you never appear in front of me again, I think I'll be better off."

Xu Sheng left. When he left, his face was full of despair, and his steps were a little staggering.

I looked at his back, but what I thought of in my mind was the one I saw when I was a child. At that time, he was still a gentle-tempered father who doted on me infinitely. I just thought his back was extremely tall.

But he didn't hold up for me and my mother in the end.

I sat on the sofa in the living room for a long time, and I thought about many things in the past.

In fact, after I started working, it has been a long time since I recalled what happened in Yuncheng back then, but with the arrival of Xu Sheng today, those memories that I deliberately forgot seemed to be suddenly opened, flooding me overwhelmingly.

I remember that when I first arrived in Yuncheng, I was happy for a while. Even though my mother didn’t take the money, she still had her own savings. It stands to reason that she could live comfortably in this small city of Yuncheng for decades. of.

But she, who lacks life experience, was cheated of almost all the money by others in the name of buying a house and investing in it.

Life started to get tough, we had to move out of the rented yard with a garden, and moved to an old and crowded residential building.

The tenants here are generally small businessmen, or migrant workers. There are many people, but most of them are of average quality. My mother and I seem out of place here.

When my mother and I went out to buy groceries, we often felt the sight of novelty or scrutiny around us. That kind of sight made me feel uncomfortable even when I was young.

I don’t know when and from whom the words started to spread, anyway, by the time we hear them, there are already many versions.

But every version points to my mother as a slutty, loving woman.

Perhaps the beginning of the rumors was just that the mother inadvertently said a few more words to a certain gossip man, or maybe a certain man helped to move things.

But these are not important. Those who don't like my mother don't care about the truth of the matter, they only care about whether they have something to talk about after dinner.

In fact, my mother found a job as a piano teacher outside, and the salary was not low. As long as we persisted for a few months, we could save enough money to move out of here. Jobs were also lost among frequent mistakes.

Later, she began to constantly force me to study hard, but since I was lazy since childhood, when my parents divorced, I didn't have the heart to study at all, and my grades plummeted.

She first spoke, then scolded, and then beat her. Step by step, she changed from the gentle and loving mother in my eyes to a hysterical woman tortured by life.

The words I often heard during that time were: "Why are you so stupid? Why are you not half as smart as your brother?"

I hated her, and once thought about running away from home, but after hearing her suppressed crying at night several times, I gave up. I thought that if I also left her, wouldn't she be really happy? She was given up by everyone, I can't bear her like this.

I will always remember the way she hugged me and sat in front of the piano, teaching me the piano gently.

Later I found out that she was ill. I was not relieved, but just accepted the fact.

I don't blame her anymore, I know it's not that she doesn't love me anymore, she's just tortured by life and lost the ability to love me.

I began to study hard, and when I was a little older, I started to do some temporary work. I did my best to share some of the burden of life for her.

I thought, it would be great when I am admitted to university, so that I can leave here and go to a bigger city.

But the educational resources in this small city can’t keep up, and I’m not a genius, and I’ve been squeezed too much time by part-time jobs, so no matter how hard I try, I’m just an ordinary 211 in the neighboring province.

This is already the best result I can get. Although it is not as good as my brother who is far away in City B, I am still happy.

I secretly plan to use this summer vacation to rent a house in City C where my university is located, and then find a job. After graduation, I will have more time as an adult and find a job with higher salary.

When I stabilize in City C, I will take my mother there with me so that she can get out of this quagmire and start over.

I have everything in mind, and life is full of hope.

But what I didn't expect was that my mother couldn't wait.

She couldn't wait to make herself eternally happy in her own way.

I thought about it for a long time, until the room was completely dark, and there was darkness in front of my eyes.

The phone screen on the side suddenly lit up, buzzing and vibrating on the coffee table, I picked up the phone after regaining my senses, and it showed that it was Xu Tangyi's call.

"A Nian." As soon as I picked up the phone, Xu Tangyi's voice rang in my ear.

"what happened?"

"I'm going on a business trip to Lin Province tonight. It will take about four or five days. I won't be able to go home for a few days."

"okay, I get it."

He asked me some more words, and when I hung up the phone, I couldn't help shouting: "Brother."

He seemed very happy, and his voice was stained with a smile: "What's wrong?"

I paused and added: "You should pay attention to rest these few days, don't be too tired."

After I hung up the phone, I looked at the empty room and was stunned for a while. I really felt that it was meaningless to be alone, and I was depressed because of what happened today, so I decided to go to the boxing gym on the top floor to stay for a while.

The boxing gym is open until 11 o'clock at night, and it's less than ten o'clock, so it's just right to go up and stay for an hour.

Thinking so, I put on my shoes and went out again.

As soon as I went out, I accidentally saw a few movers carrying a few pieces of furniture to the opposite door. I was a little curious. Is there someone going to live in the opposite door?

Because Xu Tangyi said before that there is no one living in the opposite door, he even thought of buying the opposite door and giving it to me, but I stopped him.

While waiting for the elevator, I couldn't help but look a few more times, but the elevator came soon.

I took the elevator all the way to the top floor. When I entered the boxing gym, I caught a glimpse of two people fighting on the ring in the distance.

"Yu Nian, are you here?" Coach Li who taught me saw me coming in, and immediately came up to greet me enthusiastically,

I also nodded along the way, as a greeting, "I'm free tonight, come and practice for a while."

Coach Li has a cheerful personality, and he has been teaching me during this time, so this meeting can be regarded as acquaintance.

He first came over and patted me on the shoulder, and then joked: "You are too hardworking. You have just been here all afternoon, and you will come again this afternoon. You almost went to bed and are in the boxing gym. Why, work so hard Are you going to the UFC?"

I smiled, noncommittal, and asked him, "Do you want to accompany me to the boxing ring to practice?"

Coach Li grinned and said, "I'm afraid I won't be able to do it today. I was beaten up just now and my whole body hurts."

I asked a little strangely "what's wrong?"

He first raised his eyebrows in the direction of the boxing ring, then leaned over and lowered his voice and said, "I don't know which one belongs to the inner seat on the stage. As soon as I came, I got the most expensive card in our store, and then Name me as a sparring partner."

I looked in the direction he indicated, and asked, "And then?"

"Then I was beaten." He is much stronger than me, and I don't know if he came to practice boxing or to smash the field! "

Speaking of Coach Li, it seemed that the wound was involved again, he took a few breaths, and his tone was a little depressed: "I don't know where I offended him, and I only picked the most painful place on my body. I suspect he didn't look for it. The sparring partner is here, just looking for human sandbags, if it wasn't for the money, I would have quit, let me tell you Yu Nian..."

I couldn't hear what Coach Li said behind me. I looked at the two people who had stopped on the ring, and my eyes fell on one of them. That person seemed to be aware of my sight and turned to face me. direction.

The moment I saw the man's face clearly again, I froze in place.

On the boxing ring, Feng Jue was wearing a black and neat short-sleeved sportswear, and the matching black and red gloves on his hands. It seemed that because of the strenuous exercise just now, he had a little shortness of breath, and his hair was a little damp.

At this moment, he was meeting my eyes, and I saw him showing a nice smile to me, and gently waved the gloves on his hand at me.

The author says:

Emphasis: Regarding the place where Yu Nian lived when he was a child, it doesn’t mean to map anyone or any occupation, as long as the plot needs

There are so many chapters in this chapter, and it can be regarded as an account of Yu Nian's past.

If there is a bug, I will change it tomorrow, and I will be in a coma

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