Yinhua and Dream

—"When Shaluo grows up, I will..."

Ambiguous memories rang in my ears, but I couldn’t remember what happened afterwards, and suddenly I felt that I was the only one in this world... In fact, it was a long time ago, a person’s home, a person’s dining table, and a person’s visit to the grave...

"Mr. Fukuda, let me ask you a question. Do people have to have dreams? Why do you want to become a manga artist? What do you gain after becoming a manga artist?"

After parking the car, when walking up the stairs of the apartment, I heard the sound of text messages and a string of light piano sounds. This time I will not admit my mistake, because it is specially set.

"Anyway, it's the most important thing to me, and it's more important than women right now! It's hard to imagine what would happen if I didn't have dreams. To quote a sentence I read, it is: It may become a barren wilderness, covered with snow and ice , everything no longer grows. As for the second question, at first, after watching JUMP, I had the idea of ​​"I also want to let others see what I drew". Later, I realized that after such a sentence, I need to pay a lot of things and time. It is impossible to have free time to go to the beach or travel like other school students, it is impossible to have time to make girlfriends, it is impossible to have time to make friends everywhere, and even in your 30s, your own works are also It’s just that the response was mediocre, and the author who asked others would not know the name drew across the comics... But every time I hold the paintbrush, I always have the fulfilling feeling that I am still alive, and I feel the burning of life on the manuscript full of ink. Feeling. It’s a very happy thing to embrace the dream time, although sometimes it will correspondingly lose a lot of things, but also, the feeling of being truly alive is really good.”

Sawano Sharo looked at a long row of words, the simple language gathered the blood of Fukuda Shinta, no, not just him, it might seem one-sided... But maybe many people with dreams think so Yes, burning, burning myself at this moment for the future, I may not get the corresponding reward after paying, but this process...

Stopping his pace and closing the phone cover, Sawano looked up at the stairs to the second floor, took a deep breath, and then... ran quickly.

Quickly, running upwards, the wind blew the hair around his ears, and when he was still three steps away, he took a big leap and landed steadily, with the corners of his mouth curled up.

The real process of living...

She thought she had found what she needed.

Chapter, 12 Losing and Gaining

Looking back now,

I've actually lost a lot of stuff along the way.

But at the same time, I got a lot of things.

Sawano Sharo also had a dream when he was a child, but every time he grew older, he would start to have doubts about "whether I can do it or not", and then give up looking for a new dream.In fact, this dream should be put in quotation marks, because I often think about it later. Many times, the reason is that others have talked about this word. In this word, what I want to be and what I want to do... makes me also have what I have to do. The idea of ​​being what has to do something.It is precisely because of this that dreams are easily discarded.

At this moment, Sawano's thoughts after seeing Fukuda Shinta's text messages, the flames that ignited in his heart after returning home have not been extinguished, although it seems that such a burning idea just because of a piece of text is really naive, But... this feeling, just the feeling of the beating heart in his chest now has made Sawano feel himself, and suddenly feel that his feet are down to earth.

In fact, just a month ago, she still felt that dreams were dispensable to her, but now...it feels like a life-saving straw, which is a bit ridiculous, but she really needs it.

"Thank you, Fukuda-kun." No matter whether Fukuda understood or not, Zeye Shaluo replied without hesitation.

Then during the waiting time, she began to think. Although she now knows what she needs, this need must be based on a real condition, and at this moment, this substance... Think about it, Sawano found that she couldn't find it...

What was her dream when she was young? It seems that she once said that she wanted to become a teacher like other girls, and she also wanted to become a policeman like her mother. Perhaps she wanted to open a shop like her father, but whether it was later or Now...these are just her naive and innocent thoughts when she was a child, and the basis for such thoughts is... It's just that she couldn't find her real dream.

But now, I bury my head in the pillow and stick it out until I feel suffocated. I turned my body and looked at the ceiling, "...There is really no future and hope. I can't think of it at all..." The text message on the phone interrupted A moment of self-deprecation, seeing the above words, "Sawano, you mean you want to be a manga artist too!? =口="

Seeing the last emoji, Sawano couldn't help laughing. The stone that was blocked in her heart seemed to be removed by some force, allowing her to breathe air.

"If I say yes, what do you think my future holds?"

Futian was sitting next to a bed in a ward of the hospital. On the bed lay a woman with gray hair, sleeping peacefully with her eyes closed. Such an expression seemed that the mental stimulation she had received before was all illusory.But Fukuda really understood that until the moment he came home, his mother was almost given a critical illness notice, and now she was out of the intensive care unit and sleeping peacefully... He should be grateful for his mother's strength, as for his father... Originally, he wanted to He has been taking care of his wife, but was driven home by Fukuda to catch up on sleep.After all, Dad is not full of energy when he was young.

Then my sister brought dinner, and after eating with him, there was a suppressed silence in the air, "Weiya, before you asked me whether the child should stay or not, what did you think when you got home?" Futian broke The way of silence was so direct that Fukuda Miya who was sitting next to her was stunned. Now she was the only one. If it was before, she would definitely open her voice to argue with this old man who had never met since arriving in Tokyo, but these few days My God... She has thought a lot since she was pregnant with this child, and she really thought about it seriously when she heard Futian's question at that moment. The mother was in a coma but fell ill from the moment she heard the news, She understood... Mother was only worried about herself, the insult after being cheated of her body, now seemed to be endured by her mother.As for the father, he completely listened to his own wishes, let alone the younger brother.

"Well, think it over." After hearing this, Futian turned his head and looked at his sister sitting on the sofa. It seemed that the childishness in his temperament before had quickly transformed into a mature one in the past few days, and now his pair were just like his own. The colored eyes were even more determined, "I don't want it anymore."

The moment Futian heard about it, he thought of the text message he received on his phone, "Weiya, why didn't you stay?" The idea is still other, at the moment, Fukuda Shinta doesn't want to think too much.

"I still have, although there are women who are mothers now, but ... I don't think I'm ready for the role of raising children. And, I want my children to live in a family of three, able to fully To be loved by my father, I don’t need to be bullied because I don’t have a father, and I don’t need to be criticized because I’m a single-parent family... It’s not that I don’t want this child..." Fukuda Miya stroked her slightly bulging stomach, Although the smile on his face was mostly bitter, it actually had a taste of maternal love. This reminded Fukuda that before Wei Ya was a little girl who would only slip into his arms and act like a baby, but now... the younger sister in front of him is Really grown up.

After a pause for a few seconds, the girl continued: "Of course I want my flesh and blood, but if I give birth to this child in a momentary soft-heartedness, then I don't know what the consequences will be...Brother, I don't regret it, believe it, This child will also understand me... My baby will definitely understand my mother, right?" Wei Ya, who was muttering so much, finally couldn't help but let tears invade her eyes, and the expression of gently stroking her stomach was decisive. More than sad.

This seems to be a weak decision in the eyes of outsiders, but at this moment, in the eyes of Fukuda Shinta, the sister at this moment is extraordinarily dazzling and resolutely strong.It is precisely because of this incident that my sister has learned a lot and also grown a lot.Although there are many meanings of being bad, the inevitable thorns in the process of growth will always block people's way. Some people can push them away with their hands, while others face the nerve-wracking thorns that need to cut the body. Pain can be passed.

Fukuda thought Sawano Sara had some weak thoughts before, but now under Wei Ya's words, he suddenly felt that he... saw another truth.

However, although he wants to think calmly, Fukuda always feels angry when this kind of thing happens to his relatives, it's too annoying!hateful! "Weiya, tell me, who is that bastard man?!" In order not to wake up the sleepy mother, the two chatted lightly from beginning to end. At this moment, Fukuda clenched his fists, his words were uncontrollably suppressed Violence.

"Brother, don't ask any more. We can't find him... Heh, it's okay, this time it's just that I was bitten by a dog. From now on, I will never believe in love so purely again. "

After Miya Fukuda finished speaking, Fukuda still wanted to say something, but after looking at his sister's indifferent expression...all the words were held back, ah! ! --feels awful!He really wanted to yell, but, feeling powerless, the phone in his pocket suddenly vibrated