Strange disease

There was a large bruise on my forehead, and dark reddish-brown blood snaked down from the shattered place, against the pale complexion, it was particularly shocking.

Xi Rong didn't send me to the hospital, but took me home as quickly as possible, covering my head with her palms weakly, avoiding pedestrians.

As a doctor, he knows better than anyone that my situation... is certainly not normal.

It was only after I got home that I saw in the mirror what a miserable state I was now. No wonder the little boy’s mother had the expression that her wallet was about to bleed when she first saw me.

It looks like I was hit by a ball, or hit by a car.

In an instant, my heart was completely cold, as if there was a big hole in it, and the cold wind was blowing.

It's all like this, I naturally understand...

It's over, I can't hide it anymore.

I don’t know if it’s because of the colder weather, but the frequency of my skin’s ulceration and damage has decreased a lot, but correspondingly, the time for those wounds to heal and heal has also greatly increased, as if the “metabolism” of my whole body also increases with the temperature. reduced and slowed down a lot.

At first I didn’t feel anything, it was even a good thing for me, at least I haven’t been sick for a long time, but there are occasional broken and bleeding places on my body, back and legs. Nothing happened, just gritted your teeth and endured the innocuous pain.

A period of too comfortable days made me gradually relax my vigilance.

So I never thought that this body might be at the end of its strength before I knew it. After all, it is almost difficult for me to maintain a normal body temperature. The thing is, I just want to wait for spring to come and the weather will heat up.

So I never expected that just being hit lightly and delicately by the ball would make such a big noise.

Spring comes and winter goes, and the seasons alternate, which is the eternal law of nature.

But can I still welcome the next spring?

Xi Rong lightly touched the fragile skin around my wound with her fingertips, her eyes seemed to be in real pain.

I want to say, it doesn't hurt, don't look at me like this.

I'm not doing anything, why does he seem to be in more pain than me.

I held his slightly trembling hand and whispered: "It's okay, it's really okay, don't be nervous."

But looking at him like that, I also know that this comforting sentence is just futile.

The emotion in Xi Rong's eyes made me unable to see clearly. His eyes were like the sea surface under a storm. The waves were rough, and there were countless things hidden in the dark water bottom that I couldn't distinguish or see clearly.

I trembled involuntarily, my heart was in a mess, and I became more and more panic-stricken to explain in vain: "Really, it's just scary to look at. It will grow back in a few days, and it will grow back every time before..."

Xi Rong squinted her eyes, said in a low voice, her words were heavy, and said slowly, "every time before?"

There was no blood on my face.

When I'm in a hurry, my mind tends to get confused. No, sure enough, I said the wrong thing again...

He stared at me, and asked in a cold voice: "How long have you been in this situation?"

Then, without waiting for my answer, he seemed to understand immediately, and said, "That's what you've been hiding from me before, isn't it?"

There was a thud in my heart, and the whole person was already completely dumbfounded.

I didn't even have time to think of the sophistry and concealment, he had already guessed all the truth one step ahead of me.

Then, Xi Rong directly picked me up. My hands and feet were stiff recently, and I was wearing a lot of clothes. I couldn't move, so he dragged me directly into the room.

With a gloomy face, he began to pick off my clothes one by one.

"Xi Rong...Xi Rong...!" I called his name in panic, struggling helplessly, "Don't...don't..."

He couldn't listen to it at all at the moment, his expression was terribly frightening, and he was clearly in a posture of not doing anything at all.

He stripped me clean. I was shaking from the cold, and because of fear, nervousness, and panic, tears fell down my face.

I hugged my body, shrank myself into a shrimp, and hid in the bed.

"Don't watch it, don't watch it..." I begged him with a trembling voice, "Xi Rong, I beg you, just pretend you don't know, don't watch it, okay? I'm fine, I'm fine... ..."

But without the cover of clothes, how can the terrible marks on my body be so easily hidden.

I myself seldom look at my body during the day, and I dare not look at it myself.

Because the skin has been continuously broken, abscessed and festered for a long time, my back, chest and legs have been left with scars of varying degrees. Even if I just touch it, I can feel the uneven potholes.

It's different from ordinary wounds. This wound grows from inside my body. It's very deep. Almost every part will leave a dark brown mark after it heals. What's more, there will always be new places that will start to break before the old ones heal. There is no time and opportunity for these scars to fade completely.

Fester, bleed, grow back.

It's just so repeated, it's extremely tricky.

At this moment, I bent my naked body, kept dodging and trembling, but it was all in vain, all these hideous features were still unreservedly exposed in front of Xi Rong.

too ugly.

I don't want him to see me so ugly.

I always took chances and refused to learn from the lesson. I thought I could accompany him all the time without incident, and I thought I could still retain a little bit of good image in front of him until the end.

...it's all delusional.

Xi Rong looked down at me and didn't move for a long time.

All the fantasies in my heart continued to collapse with his silence every minute, until a desolate ruin remained.

How should he feel when he sees me like this?

In fact, without any explanation, these dark red-brown wounds are the best evidence.

Tore away all the shaky façades between us and that paper window that could be shattered with a single poke.

I am just a rotting corpse.

He thought his lover was back, he thought I was the normal Ruan Li who had never been sick...

But I am long dead.

To this day, I am still a dead person, a weird, conscious, dead person.

Can we go back to the past?

The answer is self-evident.

Just when all my thoughts were in despair, Xi Rong bent down and gently stroked the sporadic scars on my body. Suddenly, I saw that his expression was full of endless sadness.

"That's why you ran away, pretended to have amnesia, and kept avoiding me..."

It was very difficult for him to speak half a sentence, almost word by word.

Before I finished speaking, I knew that all the illusions I had created with painstaking efforts had been seen through by his insight.

He hugged my naked body covered with scars by the waist, and murmured to himself: "Does it hurt, does it hurt? Why don't you tell me, you don't let me know, don't say anything, everything is done by yourself." Swallow it in my stomach, I don’t even know if something will happen to you if you feel uncomfortable or uncomfortable, do you think I will be happy.”

The root of my tongue is bitter, as if being pricked by a tiny needle, it is very unbearable, and the words in my heart that have been accumulated for a long time are blocked in my mouth.

Why did I ever want to hide it...

But do I want you to watch me drenched in blood and suffering in a horrific shape?

Although you are a doctor, I am a dead person. You can't cure me.

Since none of us can do anything, it is enough for me to bear this pain alone.

I tried to struggle, but I couldn't resist him tightly bound my arms, even the dark red blood overflowing from the wound stained his pure white skirt, as if the blood had fallen into a vast expanse of white snow , abrupt and eye-catching, dirty and stained its original pure and flawless color.

I yelled and writhed on top of him, trying to push him away, keep him away from me, and stop approaching me... But I couldn't break free.

In the end, I couldn't help it, and almost yelled heart-piercingly: "Xi Rong, I despise and feel disgusted by my appearance of being neither human nor ghost. Why... why do you insist on pursuing it? Getting to the bottom of it..."

"You shouldn't be obsessed with my big trouble from the beginning. I don't even know what kind of strange thing I am now. How could I suddenly come back to life inexplicably? Maybe I will die inexplicably again at some point. Why should you, why should you..."

"You just forget about me, save me the last bit of face, just go to your normal life, and I will go clean too... Isn't it good, isn't it good!"

I broke down and yelled at him.

Then, the air was dead silent.

Xi Rong was silent for a moment, but still hugged me tightly, never letting go.

Let go, Xi Rong, why don't you let go?

I am so scary and suspected, what is it worthy of your nostalgia?

I was tightly wrapped in his warm embrace, and I could even smell the mint and woody scent from his nose, which was a little choking, making my nasal cavity extremely sore.

Then he said—

"Ruan Li, listen carefully..."

"No matter what you are, whether you are seriously ill, dead, or alive..."

"No matter how ugly or unbearable you look..."

"I don't even care."

He raised his red eyes, his voice was hoarse, and every word and every word made me hear clearly——

"I love you the same as always, never the same."

He gently brushed my face, sideburns and forehead hair, one sound, and kept repeating...

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you……"

At that moment, I felt the scorching tears scald the hideous wound and skin.

With tears in his eyes, he kissed my bleeding wound inch by inch.

That movement was extremely gentle, as if he was kissing an extremely precious piece of porcelain, the ultimate treasure in his heart.