I can't see the stars in your eyes

My name is Beiyu. On the day I was born, there was a lot of snow falling, and the falling snowflakes were like goose feathers, so I got my name. I am neither tall nor handsome, and I tend to be depressed, but I am most proud of myself Apart from my mother, Nan Xing also said that my eyes are the most touching, like two bright lights inlaid on Yuanyuan's face.

Nan Xing is my best friend, my confidant since childhood, and my only friend.

I met him at a social drama when I was five years old.At that time, there was a land temple in the alley of the village where I lived. The place was not big, but when the folk activities were held, many residents from the surrounding area were attracted.Originally, I wanted my mother to take me to the theater, but she had an argument with my father that day. It was not the first time they had quarreled. I had to go to the theater by myself. When I was putting on my shoes in the hallway, something hit my back hard. I turned my back, and then there was a dull sound. I turned around and saw it was a running shoe. Immediately afterwards, many bowls and chopsticks flew out of the living room and fell to pieces. My ears were covered by my father's unreasonable yelling.

Dragging my heavy wooden clogs, I followed the crowd and got into the theater watching circle.

When I was five years old, I was less than the height of a bed. I stood on tiptoe desperately, but I only saw many pairs of black thighs floating in front of my eyes. I could only listen to the performance of various musical instruments with my ears, although I didn’t understand music.

Tired on tiptoe, I caught a glimpse of a hawker selling candied haws not far away, and I smelled the sweet smell of hawthorn at the tip of my nose. The scene when I saw Nan Xing: his face was flushed, as if imprinted by red hawthorn, he could eat a large hawthorn in one bite, chew and chew, then raised his head to look at his kind mother, she kindly She smiled at him and stroked his head.

I raised my arm subconsciously and touched my short hair. It's been a long time since I felt such warmth from my mother.

I bite my lip.

Maybe I've been looking at him all this time, and his eyes finally fell on me.

At that moment, we were so conspicuous and humble. Maybe the humble person was just me. Nan Xing was dressed as a young master from a rich family, and I had my mother’s patches on the trousers. We are completely from two worlds. Child, I quickly lowered my head and bit my lips tightly.

What I remember very clearly is that when he walked up to me, the smell of hawthorn became stronger and stronger.

Then, he said to me: "Do you want to eat candied haws too?"

I froze for a while without answering him, my eyes widened.

He showed me a mouthful of broken white teeth, and stuffed the candied haws that had only eaten one into my hands. I noticed that my hands were dirty and covered with mud after I fell, but his It was very clean, and it was as white as a lotus root festival. There was a red string on my wrist. I hesitated and couldn't speak, so I had to accept the candied haws he gave me.

"STAR, what are you doing?" His mother, the middle-aged woman, rushed over all the way. Her chubby figure was wrapped in a lavender kimono, her face was painted with heavy makeup, and wooden clogs were kicking on my young heart. , My body suddenly shook.

She came to his side, patted his head lightly, blamed something in a low voice, I lowered my head, children from the upper class in our area can't strike up a conversation with ordinary children, otherwise they will be looked down upon by the family, my eyes It was a little wet, and with a slight blink, a mist of water instantly appeared in front of his eyes.

I raised my head, unable to see the embarrassed expression on his face, and swallowed hard.

I said, "I'm sorry, this is for you..."

I put the candied haws back into his hand. I didn't dare to look into his eyes, let alone look at that woman's contemptuous gaze. I hate being discriminated against by them. Although he is a friendly child, because of his family background, I can't talk to him, that's the confusion of being a kid in a normal family.

I rushed out of the crowd desperately, and my tears flew away like broken pearls.

I never saw him again. The encounter when I was five years old was just a one-sided relationship. When I was six, seven, and eight years old, my mother couldn't bear my father's unreasonable troubles anymore. They divorced. In the second grade of elementary school, I happily rushed home with the schoolbag newly issued by the school, with the perfect test paper in the bag.

"I'm back!" I just opened the door, and I was stunned.

The corridor leading from the entrance was covered in blood, and the pungent smell surrounded my nose. My pupils only showed my mother’s carcass hanging from the beam, and the blood gurgling from the top of the head flowed over the neck and shoulders. , a plaid apron, and eventually dripping onto the floor, I hold my breath!

My father was squatting on one side, his head was leaning against the wall, he seemed to be exhaling easily, his eyes were narrowed, and I noticed that his hands were covered with dark red blood, as if he had just done something Vivisection experiment!

"Ah—!" Great fear surrounded me, and I screamed!

When I saw my father's scarlet eyes turned to me, he walked towards me, his walking posture was like a zombie, I thought I was going to die, I was afraid that he would kill me too, he is crazy!Unreasonable psychosis!

I kept backing away, and my heels touched the door.

His figure was getting bigger and bigger, surrounded by black shadows, he stared at me for a while, and kept muttering: "... son of the bastard, it's not mine, it's not mine, I'm going to kill you, bastard Seed!" Then he pulled out his bloody right hand, grasped my throat with lightning speed, and slowly lifted me up from the ground!I don't even have the courage to shout!

I kicked my feet desperately, I was about to suffocate!

In my dazed eyes, I saw my mother hanging behind me. Before she could close her eyes, she stared at me wide open, overlapping with my father’s eyes. I closed my eyes tightly, and my hands kept wanting Pulling his big hand away, but it was of no avail!

"boom"

My schoolbag slipped to the ground, and the test papers and books rolled out!

"Dad, Dad, Dad!...Let me go!"

Obviously, when I yelled "Dad", his hand trembled violently, and as soon as I let go, I slipped from his palm and fell to the ground. He squatted down and buried his headache and cried, "Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Woo" and kept crying!

There was still darkness in front of my eyes, and I still felt suffocation in my throat, and I fell powerlessly to the ground.

My father suddenly raised his eyes, the blood-red eyes still filled with tears, he said: "I am your father, right, Bei Yu, I am your father, I am your father," he grabbed my young shoulders and kept shaking me , muttering to herself like a crazy patient, "She said, she said, you are, you are a child with someone else, so I will kill her, dad, I'm sorry!"

I gasped!Staring at him blankly.

When did my consciousness wake up? I don’t know. After he told the truth, my brain went blank. Someone called the police and took away my last relative. The medical staff took away my mother’s body. Full of fear, I sat here in the porch, I didn’t hear the police condolences at all, in front of my eyes, it seemed to be a pantomime, I couldn’t tell if I was the protagonist, maybe I was just audience.

Since then, my mind has changed drastically. I will no longer be interested in any customs and ceremonies, and I will never go to play with my classmates. My academic performance has plummeted. I live in a lonely world. I moved to my aunt's house and lived there until I met Nan Xing again in my junior high school.

"Please introduce yourself to this new student, thank you." The teacher on the desk made a gentle gesture of invitation.

Facing the bright sunshine outside the window, he said: "My name is Nan Xing, I'm 13 years old, I hope to be good friends with you, hehe," he blushed a little, he didn't know what to say, he was busy Turning around and smiling at the teacher, "Teacher, that's all I want to say, that."

The teacher helped him out: "Well, okay, Nan Xing won the championship in the Okinawa County Youth Baseball Competition two years ago, he is a kid who loves sports, and I hope everyone can get along with him soon, okay , Nan Xing, go down and find an empty seat and sit down, you must be serious in class."

"Yeah!" Nan Xing tightened his schoolbag belt, nodded heavily, and walked off the stage.

I was not feeling well that day, and my head was always groggy. Last night, I was tortured by Ningyue, the son of my aunt's family, a mischievous boy who loves to tease me. My aunt let me and him We do homework together, but he is playful, so he pushes me to do half of the work, while playing the video game by himself, and arguing that I can't pay attention.

"Can I sit here?" A gentle voice interrupted my vague memories, I looked up, and the almost familiar face was reflected in my pupils, with a healthy sun-baked complexion, short hair, and wearing A white T-shirt, smiling at me.

"Student, can I sit here?"

I was dazzled by him again, nodded blankly, watched him throw the schoolbag on the table, spread out the books neatly, listened carefully to the class and took notes. At that time, I didn’t ask Nan Xing’s name, but I felt that this person was a little familiar. Can't get up anymore, but he should be a nice boy to get along with.

Nan Xing and I are at the same table.

Almost every time after class, there will be classmates who harass me. They are all big, like pigs. They often corner me and ask me to hand over [-] yen for them to protect me. With so much money, they would push me to the ground when I was in a state of entanglement, and beat me one by one until I was covered in bruises. In the past, I could only bear the pain and wait until they finished venting and left. , and after Nan Xing appeared, every time I was beaten by them, he would appear to block those big men for me, and the end result was that both of them were injured.

He accompanied me home and asked me about my injury, "Does it still hurt?"

I shook my head: "I'm used to it."

He was a little startled, and looked at me: "Why don't you transfer to another school."

"No," I replied firmly, "I can't back down, I must graduate."

The dim sunset covered the road in front of us.

He finally asked me: "By the way, what's your name?"

I said, "Bei Yu."

"What a beautiful name, just like your eyes."

I am startled!In the past, only my mother said that my eyes were beautiful, just once. He was the second person who agreed with me and recognized me. I inexplicably had endless trust and gratitude to him, and then I was moved.

"What are you crying for?"

My tears flowed out inadvertently and he found out, he frowned and looked at me, I hurriedly wiped away the teardrops from the corner of my eyes, and said falteringly: "No, it's nothing, then what's your name?"

"Ha, didn't you listen when I introduced myself in class, my name is Nan Xing, you can call me STAR!" He is a bright and sunny boy, I'm sure, otherwise I wouldn't have seen his smile Forgive me for thinking it was still morning.

Southern Star, Southern Star, Southern Star...

I meditate on his name in my heart, ten times, a hundred times, a thousand times, I will always remember, always.

Our names are originally two extreme worlds, but they are connected together invisibly and cannot be separated. Nan Xing’s grades are among the best in the class. He will take me from the bottom to the upstream slowly. Soon we will be very different Yes, this ten points proves the distance between us. I can’t surpass this ten points. My ability and my level can’t surpass it. Tell me that he didn't do that, he treats me like a younger brother, protects me as always, helps me with my homework as always, as always...

He took me to his house for dinner. We went to his house with a lot of homework. It was the biggest house I have ever seen. It has a manor, a fountain pool, and a swimming pool on the roof. The house is a three-story building with a magnificent style. He didn't fit me very well, so I was rejected by his mother just like when I was five years old, and he had many disagreements with his mother because of me.

To be looked down upon, I will be looked down upon after all.

I looked at his mother's slightly red eyes, and I thought of my father. At that moment, I wanted to step forward and tear up these masks!

Nan Xing has gradually become my backer. Without him, no one would be willing to make friends with me, and no one would be willing to listen to my heart. I am very grateful to him. Even though we are far apart, I still have the courage I want to keep going like this with him.I often dream about my mother’s horror, and then wake up from the dream. Several times, I sneaked out of my aunt’s house, ran to his house, told him that I was afraid of having a nightmare, and then we squeezed together Beds to sleep in - big comfortable soft beds.

I have never had a nightmare since.

"Nan Xing, what high school will you take?"

When I asked this question, his brows were tightly furrowed, and he didn't say anything for a long time, so I asked again, and he came back to his senses, but he only replied with two words: "Let's talk."

I don't understand why he suddenly became silent the day before the exam, and then he disappeared and never appeared in my field of vision or even in the world. I have been to many places we have been to, but I have not found that familiar figure , I have also been to his mansion, but the owner of the house has changed.

Since then, I have returned to a person's life. The exam is about to take place. I have to spend this thought on my studies. I hope I can get a good high school and continue my life. Maybe, without him, I will get stronger.

can you?