A product like a year

The last time I saw Li Boran, he was picking out a tie for Fan Hua. He was walking with Ou Yang. The man's face was very smelly. Li Boran asked him which one looked better. Ou Yang snorted coldly and turned his head away.Later, Li Boran tried on him with a tie for a long time, finally picked a brown one, and said that Fan Hua must like this tie very much.

A week later, I saw that brown tie on the dinner table, but the owner of the tie was not Fan Hua, but Ou Yang.

"I'm getting married! The other party was introduced by someone, and the wedding date is set in three months."

Several people at the dinner table stared at me blankly. After a moment of silence, there was the sound of wine glasses colliding with each other.Everyone said they would come to my wedding, I smiled and looked at everyone.Then the door of the private room was pushed open, and the man came in with a bag on his shoulders.

I looked at him with a smile, and he looked at me with a smile.Then he sat across from me, with A Ke and Li Boran on both sides.

Everyone drank and chatted, talked about our past, and talked about our current situation.After he heard the news of my marriage, he stood up and offered me a glass of wine, then he raised his head and drank it, maybe because he drank in a hurry, his eyes were red.

I don't remember how much I drank. When I woke up, I saw him riding on me. He smiled at me and said that just one time, one time is enough for him.

I grab his waist.Pushing and thrusting like crazy.He kept calling my name again, and the crying made me panic.

I hugged him into my arms, kissed his forehead and said sorry.

He hugged my waist tightly, and then we did it many times.Later he fell asleep in my arms and I saw the tattoo on his chest.It was a snowflake, the big snowflake was surrounded by some small snowflakes, each snowflake was different, I counted, fourteen.

I looked at those snowflakes in a daze, and my thoughts drifted far away.

It was an unprosperous northeast town. I met him there. At that time, he was bullied by a group of children. I broke through the crowd and became a hero for the first time.

He loves to smile very much, with a chubby smiling face, and a cute canine tooth can be seen when he smiles.He's always clinging to me, and I enjoy being clinged to.

I know everything about him, family background, hobbies, the only thing I don't know is that he has always loved me.

I never even turned him down in person because we never started.

I can't deny my feelings for him, but I can't promise anything either.I am 32 years old, and my parents forced me to get married. I have always been able to push it away. This year, for some reason, I agreed after meeting the person I was going on a blind date with.

I took a week's leave with my work unit and came to Chengdu.I met friends from the past and told them about my marriage.

I didn't expect that I would have such a relationship with him. Looking at his sleeping face, I was so flustered.There are still tears on his face, the red and swollen mouth is my masterpiece, and the red marks on his body are the marks left by me.This was the first time I had sex with someone, and I didn't expect that the person who went around was still him.

When I woke up the next day, the person next to me was already awake. He looked at me and smiled without saying a word.

I pointed to his heart and asked him the meaning of that tattoo.

He said once a year, on my birthday, he would have a snowflake tattooed on him.Later he asked me if the bride looked good?I say average.Then he just smiled and got dressed and sent me to the airport.

There were a lot of people seeing him off, everyone looked at my clasped hands with him, and didn't say much.

When the plane arrived in Harbin, I received a text message from him, which was not many words, just asking me to take good care of myself and wishing me happiness.

I called him back and there was a beep to shut down the phone.

When I got home, my fiancée came to pick me up at the train station. July was the beginning of the summer vacation. I saw her standing in front of the booth covered in sweat, and I felt guilty.

The family bought a new house for me, and the decoration is very nice. After three months, the formaldehyde should be almost volatilized. At that time, I will live in this house with my new wife.

I have saved a lot of money in the past few years. Although I will not be rich in the future, these savings should allow me to live a stable and comfortable life in the future.

On the eve of the wedding, the elder brothers all came. Sigou brought his daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law was holding little Sigou in her arms.A Ke and the spider have a very good relationship, and the family seems to know it, but the spider has a stubborn temper, and the family can't control it. They quarreled for two years, and finally the parents compromised.

Ou Yang had a showdown with his family a long time ago, and the big guys don't know what kind of trouble his family has caused. Anyway, judging from Ou Yang's parents' attitude towards Li Boran, they should agree very much.

I don’t have much contact with Fan Hua. From what Li Boran said, he seems to have taken over the family business in the end, but he was not separated from Li Boran. Because of the inheritance dispute, one of the brothers and sisters in the family died, one was disabled, and the other was left. Sentenced.

I am very sorry for this, Li Boran said with a smile, this is a wealthy family.

Until the day of the ceremony, he still didn't show up. I called him, but I turned off the phone and asked Li Boran. He said he didn't know where he was.

The wedding ceremony was well-organized, and a large group of relatives and friends came, but I was absent-minded all the time.

After the wedding, everyone was arguing about having a bridal chamber, and when it was twelve o'clock, the people dispersed.I lay on the bed, took out my mobile phone and called him, but it was still turned off.

After my wife took a shower and took off her makeup, I looked at her face and found that she still looked good with makeup on.But I didn't say it, the two of them entered the bridal chamber as a routine, it was not the first time for her, and this was what I expected.

After hastily finishing our duties, we fell asleep.

Whether my married life is good or not is not the focus of my concern. I just want to be a filial son so that my parents can rest easy.The third day is the day when I return home with my wife. My father-in-law is a retired worker, my mother-in-law is an ordinary housewife, my wife has no brothers and sisters, and the interpersonal relationship at home is very simple.While having dinner, I received a call from the Chengdu police who said Liu Kai was dead.

Later, I did the most irresponsible thing in my life, left my newly married wife and went to Chengdu alone.Later I saw him in the morgue of the police station, along with Li Boran and others.

The police said that the man died at home, and the cause of death was excessive bleeding. Later, the forensic doctor's autopsy report showed that the time of his death was the day of my wedding.

Liu Kai's mother passed away the year before last, and Fan Hua claimed the body as his cousin.Then everyone held a funeral for him, and I changed his clothes before he was encoffined, and then I saw that there was an extra word on his chest, an ugly word Feng.

It looked like it was inscribed with a small blade, the wound was turned outwards, and the inside was blue-purple flesh.

Then he was pushed into the cremation furnace, burned for two hours, and finally turned into a box of ashes.

I took his ashes back to the Northeast, and then came out in front of the parents of both parties.I remember crying at the time, not because my father's crutch hurt me, but because I regretted not doing this while he was alive.

Later, my wife did not divorce me. She said that she didn't want to argue with that person, and she couldn't, but I was her husband, and we would still have a future.

Then I looked at her smile and saw her canine teeth.I suddenly understood why I wanted to marry her in the first place, because she looks like Liu Kai when she smiles.

Half a year later, I received a courier from Li Boran.He said that Liu Kai's house was taken back by the landlord, and when he was sorting out his belongings, he found his suicide note and some belongings from his lifetime. Thinking that I would care, he packed them and mailed them back to me.

The suicide note has not been opened, and I saw familiar handwriting after I opened it.The addressee is my name, and this letter is addressed to me.

I cried and read his letter, and then looked at his belongings, which contained some small things, including the glass apple I gave him at Christmas in the third year of junior high school, and our graduation photo.

I ended up finding three old cell phones, two of which had died, and the third one had a battery left after it was turned on.The standby screen is his delicate little face with a canine tooth when he smiles.

Then I looked at the photos in it, and then I looked at the text message box. It was full of short message records of the two of us. We didn't contact many times this year. There were dozens of text messages, almost all of which were mass messages on holidays.

My heart ached, and my dry eyes became moist again.I know my crying looks ugly, but what else can I do besides crying.

I even wanted to die in the past, but I was such a coward, the blade cut a small hole, and I couldn't do it anymore.I thought of the shocking wound on his wrist, how cruel he was to cut it off.

I was sluggish at home for a while, and my work unit urged me to go to work, and then I simply resigned.

The wife doesn't complain, and takes care of the chores at home by herself.Later she saw that I was too decadent, so she quietly told me that she was pregnant.

Counting the days, it should be the seed that she and I planted the first time, and that day was also the day Liu Kai committed suicide.I am not a superstitious person, but I think this child is the proof that Liu Kai came to me after reincarnation.

I feel that I have the confidence to stand up again, because he is by my side, and I can give him the best and most complete love.

Later, I took my wife to Chengdu and used my savings to start a small business.The profit of wine is huge, I am not the kind of person who is good at calculating, but my attitude of being a man makes the business better and better.

Half a year later, my wife gave birth to a boy, and I named the child Wu Kai.

Almost all the drinks in Li Boran's bar came from my shop, and then I also met Ma Yiman's husband, because both surnamed Wu, so the two of them recognized brothers. He had a relationship, and later the relationship became stronger, so I made a few deals with him.

His social circle is wider than mine, and because of his identity, many of the buyers he contacted dare not play tricks on me.In the end, with his support, I acted as an agent for the sales of Harbin Beer in Chengdu. However, the transportation problem caused the profit of alcohol to drop a lot, but the sales volume was very stable, which became one of the incomes I care about.

Later, I went to Li Boran's bar to drink with Wu Bin, and met someone by accident.That's Li Boran's newly hired bartender. I didn't pay attention to it at first, but when he put a prepared Bloody Mary in front of me, I saw his smile, and his star made me lose my mind Huya.

This young man is called Alan, and I have maintained a physical relationship with him for the next few years, more precisely, I am baoyang him.But I know that he is not Liu Kai, except for that canine tooth, they have no similarities at all, and then I met someone who was more like Liu Kai, and then ended the relationship with Allen.

Li Boran looked at me like this, and would worry about me every time.Later he told me that Liu Kai was the same as me at the beginning, he would find someone similar to me, and then seek a little comfort.

When my son was 8 years old, my wife and I ended our marriage. The main reason for the divorce was the person she met who wanted to be with her forever. Of course, what I did in the past few years really made her feel cold.

I knew that I was not a good person. I gave her a large sum of money during the divorce, and finally obtained Xiaokai's custody.

When Xiaokai was nine years old, I took him back to the Northeast, visited his elderly parents, and then took him back to Chengdu.

Different from Li Boran and others, they have gone through hardships, and the people who love each other are still together in the end, but for me, year after year, the people around me have changed wave after wave, and the only one I love is him.

The day before yesterday Xiaokai came back from school and told me that he liked someone. I was surprised and asked him who that person was.

He smiled and didn't answer. This child is very similar to his mother, and also a little bit like him.

The next day I sent Xiaokai to school and met the person he liked. To my surprise, it was a little boy. How should I describe my feelings?Although he doesn't admit that the person he likes is that boy, but I see a very familiar thing in his eyes, I can't explain clearly, but I have seen the same thing in Liu Kai's eyes, that It should be love!

When I went to the hospital for a physical examination last month, the doctor told me that I had liver cancer.I calmly listened to the doctor's introduction to my condition, and then went home with the medicine.

Looking at the urn on the closet in the bedroom, he suddenly smiled.

If I evaluate myself, I should be regarded as a scumbag. I always wanted to be a filial son, but in the end I made my parents sad.

The biggest failure in my life is to let the person I love die in pain and regret. Now facing my son, I find that I am not a good father either.

Now I use words to record the story between myself and my friends. I said at the beginning that I am not the protagonist of this story, but in my heart Liu Kai will always be the number one man in my life.

In fact, homosexuality is still discriminated against in China. I don’t think my story can win everyone’s sympathy, but I hope that people who read this story can think about it from our perspective. Love often has to bear some burdens that it shouldn’t have. the shackles.

I don't want people like me to live the rest of their lives with regrets and sorrows, just for a few decades.

If I could go back to those years, I would definitely tell the world that I love Liu Kai!

Ru Nian's story is very simple, I just want to say, I just fell in love with a man, and that man happened to love me too.

Extra Story ------ A very short suicide note

madman:

I've always wanted to write you a letter, but every time I pick up the pen, I don't know what to write. I'm not educated, and I think about it with the pen in my mouth, but I don't know what to write.

I had a dream last night, dreaming that you came to me, hugged me and said, you are not married anymore, you will be with me all your life, but when I woke up, I found that it was just a dream.

My father died early, and my mother worked hard to bring me up. I used to think, if I didn’t know you, my world would be different, but then I thought, if I didn’t know you, I might be bullied to death.

I still remember the scene when you first appeared in front of me.At that time I was still in elementary school, because I didn’t have a father, other people bullied me, saying that I was a wild child that no one wanted.That day I was blocked in front of the gate of the school warehouse, and then you fell from the sky, like a hero, and rescued me.

Then I fell in love with you deeply, secretly watching your every move.

In junior high school, we were assigned to the same class, and then we became very good buddies.

To be honest, the three years in junior high school were the happiest time I ever lived, but then we separated.

You said that you are going to Xinjiang. I am not good at geography, but I know that Xinjiang is far away.I couldn't bear you in my heart, I was so sad that I was about to cry, but I didn't tell you.

Madman, do you know that I have always been secretly in love with you, at first I always felt that I was sick, I felt that I was particularly disgusting, but when I came to Guangzhou, I realized that I am not sick, I am gay.

When I graduated, I secretly went to Xinjiang, and happily went to find you at the address you told me.I originally wanted to confess to you, but when I came to the place where you were studying, I lost my initial courage, because I saw a very beautiful girl standing beside you, holding a book, talking to you Laughed and left.

Looking at myself again, I suddenly understood a word, that is, overreaching.Then I went back to the Northeast, and then I found out about Brother and Ou Yang.

Every family has its own hard-to-sing scriptures, isn't it?Who can tell clearly about the things about love and secret love?

Crazy, I have been thinking, if you can like me like I like you, how wonderful it would be.

But you have your own life, in your eyes, I am just a buddy, so I should obediently be your brother.

After I thought it through, I tattooed a snowflake on my chest. I thought that when I died, could the snowflakes on my chest be piled up to form a mountain?

Pretty hypocritical, isn't it?But I always want to do something, I always want to prove that I really like you.

Madman, you said you were getting married, do you know how I felt at that time?I feel like my sky is falling apart, but looking at the smile on your face, I can only bless you insincerely.

Later, when you were drunk, my brother sent you to the hotel. My brother said that I should take good care of you, and then he left.

I look at your face, people cry and laugh.In fact, I don't ask much, as long as you are happy, you are happy, I am very content.

I'm sorry, I couldn't control myself at the time, and I don't know what happened to me. I took off your clothes and people rode on it.

Don't mention it, it's all over anyway.

Madman, today is your big day, I turned off my phone and cut off all contact with the outside world, I don't want to hear any details about your wedding.

Forgive my selfishness, in this world, there is nothing worthy of my nostalgia, because after tonight, you will become someone else's husband, and what happened that night made it impossible for me to stand up as a buddy anymore. By your side.

But I don't regret it, I never want to be your buddy, I just want to be your person.

So, before you marry someone else, I'll take a step ahead.By the way, I won't wait for you down there. I'm going to find my mother, and I'm going to say sorry to her. In the end, my son still didn't listen to her persuasion, and he still likes you stupidly.

Hey, I don't know what to say anymore, I obviously feel that I have a lot to say to you, but now I really don't know what to say.

By the way, if I have free time in the future, I will help me to visit my mother's grave and pull out the grass on the grave, so that she won't be angry with me when I go to find her.

Live your life well, give birth to a big fat boy with your wife, and let your parents hold grandchildren earlier.

Also, don't forget me, or I will die with regret.

Wu Xuefeng, thank you, thank you for appearing in my life, thank you for letting me love so happily.

Liu Kai.