Paranoid boyfriend doesn't want to heal

"Tell me, what is your reason this time?"

In the spacious and bright office, the teacher looked at the two children in front of him with a headache and asked.

The shorter child lowered his head, his slightly long hair covered his eyes, only a small pointed chin was exposed, and at the same time he was gloomy, making people feel that he was very pitiful.

And another taller child, like a rooster fighting for victory, puffed out his chest and said loudly: "Teacher, I don't want to be at the same table with him! He is a thief!"

"Before the matter is clarified, you can't talk nonsense, you know?"

"I didn't talk nonsense, I lost my money, and he was the only one who didn't take the gym class, so he must have stolen it!"

The teacher looked at the other child, "Is that so? You can safely say that the teacher will not favor anyone or frame anyone, okay?"

"It's not me." He didn't look up, his voice was very soft and low, as if he had been numb, without any grievance or anger.

"Then you have been in the classroom, have you seen anyone coming?"

"No."

"This..." The teacher didn't know what to say for a while.

For teachers, the most difficult thing to deal with is often not the thorny head, but the withdrawn and silent students.

The taller child became even more violent when he heard this, "I have nothing to say! You must have stolen it, so you can't tell who else came back!"

"I didn't." He still lowered his head, his voice was too calm for his age.

"Teacher, look at him! He doesn't even dare to refute. He definitely stole my money! Anyway, I definitely don't want to be at the same table with a thief!"

The teacher sighed, and then asked the child with his head down, "Do you have anything to say? You must know that if you don't make this matter clear today, the title of thief will always follow you from now on."

"I haven't done it." That's all he said.

The taller child took the opportunity to say to the teacher: "Teacher, please change the seat for me. I can sit at the end. I don't want to sit with him anymore."

Comparing the two, the teacher became a little angry at his nonsense, and scolded: "Stop making trouble, do you think I don't know what you are thinking? Why did I arrange you to sit together? I think you are lively You are cheerful and get along well with everyone, I hope you can help new students integrate into the class."

"The result? Look at what you have done. Some time ago, you put paint on your new classmate's clothes. Today, you didn't wait for the teacher to find out everything and rushed to say that your new classmate stole your money."

"Did the teacher teach you this before? You have let the teacher down!"

"You let the teacher down so much", this sentence is undoubtedly a severe blow to the young children.

The child's mouth narrowed, and he couldn't help crying sadly: "Whoa, but I don't want to sit with him, everyone laughs at me..."

"Then you tell the teacher, why are everyone laughing at you?"

"They said that if I sit with a wild child, I will definitely be infected. It is because of him that no one plays with me now."

"Then you have to work hard to change everyone's impression. How can you treat new classmates like this just because of what others say?"

"He was a wild child..."

"Xin Tang! What are you talking about! Who taught you to insult your classmates like this?"

……

Xin Tang opened his eyes in bewilderment, his mind kept recalling the contents of the dream, and after a while, he remembered what Ying Huan had said to him. For a moment, a fine layer of cold sweat soaked down his back.

It's really him... who did such an exaggerated thing to Ying Huan...

The mystery veiled in memory finally revealed a huge part at this moment: he and Ying Huan had known each other for a long time, but the relationship between them was not a playbook of childhood sweethearts, but the relationship between the bully and the bullied.

Combining the scattered memories before, Xin Tang finally pieced together the past:

The bully fell in love with the object he bullied, but he was so proud that he couldn't bow his head to the object he had ridiculed, so he chose to quietly observe the other person's life and create all kinds of boring encounters.

He exhausted every conceivable romantic start, only to end up with each other because of stupid insincere remarks.

After some time, their relationship finally ushered in the first great turning point. An Xiaofei died, and he happened to meet Ying Huan at the scene of the car accident, and he took Ying Huan away. In a sense, Become Ying Huan's guide.

Maybe something happened after that, but finally, as he wished, they became a couple.

Until...the second turning point came.

His parents were in a car accident, Xin He dropped him out of school, and took him away from where he used to live. Maybe it was too late, maybe because of family changes, he was ashamed to tell Ying Huan, and he left without saying goodbye.

When they met again, Ying Huan was no longer the poor little boy who was pointed at and scolded as a wild child, but he was living a hopeless life because of family changes.

He can't see where the future lies, and he doesn't know what the meaning of life is, so when he hears that Ying Huan is sick and difficult to cure, he sets it as his goal and promises to cure Ying Huan's mental illness .

But he missed the appointment again.

There must have been another major event during this time, a major event that could offset his guilt towards Ying Huan, causing him to give up and leave, but instead was imprisoned by Ying Huan.

The past ended with amnesia, and now it starts with amnesia. When he made up his mind again to cure Ying Huan, everything seemed to be reappearing.

The cold sweat on Xin Tang's back broke out even more, he was eager to know the reason why he missed the appointment, what was it that made him choose to leave even though he knew he owed Ying Huan?

He suddenly thought of a name that might fill in the last missing part of his memory: Tang Jiuri.

Although Tang Jiuri's words can't be believed completely, lies are often based on facts. Even if what he gets is a lie, he can still get part of the truth.

Will he find a way to find Tang Jiuri?

If he did this, wouldn't he be on the road before amnesia again?

The little hope he had just seen because of the affirmative answer from the psychiatrist was quickly annihilated. Guilt, doubt, fear, helplessness, and complex emotions were intertwined in his chest, making him feel nauseated.

"Om-click-"

At this moment, there was a familiar sound of opening the door.

Subconsciously, Xin Tang sat up straight, watching Ying Huan walk in with cold sweat.

Sometimes, he really hated himself for having everything written on his face, and also hated Ying Huan's keen observation ability, which could always see through his thoughts at a glance.

"Let me guess, what did you remember?" Ying Huan looked at Xintang's painful face with great interest, and said with certainty: "It should not be what I want you to remember, otherwise you wouldn't be so entangled. "

"It happened when we were in elementary school, right? I'm so sorry, I didn't control my emotions that night, I said a few more words, I didn't expect you to remember it, I don't want you to be in such pain..."

Ying Huan sighed quietly, but there was a morbid smile in his slightly curved eyebrows, "Look at you, why don't you listen to me, why do you just like to think wildly? Is this painful?"

He guessed it right, Xin Tang didn't say a word, he guessed it right.

The sweat on Xin Tang's forehead finally gathered into drops and slid down his cheeks.

Ying Huan gently wiped off the sweat for him, "Don't be so nervous, you were just a child at that time, I never blamed you, look, I love you so much now."

"You love me?" Xin Tang asked in a daze.

How can this be love?Is it really love to trap him and smile when he is in pain?

Ying Huan, can you really tell what is love and what is hate?

This sudden thought was like pouring a basin of cold water over his head, and Xin Tang's temperature quickly dropped, turning cold from the outside to the inside.

Ying Huan replied affirmatively: "Yes, I love you."

"Then...are you willing to make some changes for me?" Xin Tang's flustered eyes gradually calmed down, and some too cold discoveries would actually calm people down.

He said slowly: "You have seen the movie, you should know that the hero and heroine who love each other will make changes for each other and become a better version of themselves."

"Is there anything I need to change?"

"Yes, you have to take medicine on time to make your illness better soon, so that I will love you more."

"Wouldn't you love me more if I never got better?"

Xin Tang didn't answer yes or no, but repeated: "If you become a better you, I will love you more."

"Become a better me? If I no longer restrict your going out, is this a better me?"

Xin Tang looked into Ying Huan's eyes, but he could only see doubt in it, as if he was really troubled by it.

He swallowed nervously, and replied, "Of course."

"Then..." Ying Huan suddenly lowered his eyes, unable to see clearly what his eyes looked like.

Xin Tang was a little anxious, and was about to urge Ying Huan to continue, but suddenly found that the corners of Ying Huan's mouth were upturned.

A chill flashed through his heart, and he pushed Ying Huan away abruptly.

Ying Huan almost fell to the ground, but instead of being angry, he covered his lips and let out a burst of laughter. The laughter was intermittent, which seemed extremely strange.

Xin Tang was so angry that his hands were shaking, "Is it interesting to play with me like this?"

It made him think that he had found a way to trick Ying Huan, but in fact it was just his own carnival. Ying Huan was just a cold-blooded audience watching him perform without empathy from the beginning to the end.

This is, stomping him to the ground and crushing his self-esteem.

"Don't you think it's funny? How cute you look now, so angry, pretty as a doll, but deflated at the touch of a poke."

Ying Huan smiled, his beautiful eyebrows were full of morbid joy, but then, his expression suddenly became painful, and he covered his face and muttered: "No, this is not cute at all, I lied, I shouldn't do this, but I……"

After speaking, Ying Huan's voice became smaller and smaller, and Xin Tang couldn't hear clearly.

The next second, Ying Huan raised his head abruptly again. There was no trace of pain on his face. Seeing Xin Tang's frightened expression, he laughed viciously like a child who succeeded in pranking a prank. Tears overflowed from the corners of his eyes. .

"Hehehehe...it's really interesting, isn't it?"

I don't know if it's his illusion, but Xin Tang always feels that Ying Huan is not really smiling at this moment, he seems to really see the pain of a cornered beast from Ying Huan's eyes full of tears.

But before Xin Tang could fully see it, Ying Huan's expression disappeared completely. He pulled a wet towel to wipe off all the tears on his face, but after a while, he returned to his usual calm and gentle appearance.

It seemed that the collapsed building was rebuilt in an instant, everything was just Xin Tang's imagination, no, it was not his imagination, but Ying Huan was really a moody psychopath.

Ying Huan asked as if nothing had happened, "Aren't you hungry? What would you like to eat tonight?"

Xin Tang was caught off guard by this turn of events, and stared blankly at Ying Huan, as if her ability to speak had been taken away, and she couldn't even utter a single syllable.

"Since Tangtang doesn't have anything in particular that he wants to eat, I just watched and made it."

After finishing speaking, Ying Huan rolled up his sleeves and walked straight to the kitchen.

Xin Tang's tense body suddenly relaxed, leaning against the armrest of the sofa and gasping for breath, after a while, a stronger nausea came up, he hurried to the trash can, weeping and retching at the same time.

About half an hour later, Xin Tang vomited a few mouthfuls of acid water, but couldn't vomit anything, so he nestled back on the sofa weakly, in a daze, and didn't feel how long he had been lying there. Ying Huan told him to get up time to eat.

"I don't want to eat." Xin Tang closed his eyes and refused in a low voice.

"If you don't eat, how can your body bear it?"

"I can not eat."

"It's okay, I made your favorite boiled beef, get up and have a few bites."

With that said, Ying Huan wanted to pull Xin Tang up.

Xin Tang shook his hand away, "I said, I can't eat, can you stop forcing me?"

Ying Huan's face was calm, but his tone was very gentle and comforting: "I also said that if you don't eat, your body will not be able to bear it."

Such a soft tone, like snow falling lightly, wherever it falls, it becomes icy cold.

Xin Tang's teeth couldn't help trembling, and he looked at Ying Huan as if he was looking at some kind of demon.

"I don't like the look in your eyes." Ying Huan simply covered Xin Tang's sight, and suggested, "You eat obediently, and I obediently take the medicine, okay?"

After a pause, he repeated, "It's not good for your health if you don't eat."

Ying Huan obediently took the medicine, which was too much temptation for Xin Tang.

He still believes that as long as Ying Huan takes the medicine, he will return to his previous appearance and everything will be fine.

Even though his stomach was really uncomfortable, he still responded, "I'll eat."

Xin Tang really didn't have much appetite, and felt his stomach writhing violently when he ate anything. Later, Ying Huan stopped eating, and after covering his hands with the hot porridge until it was boiling hot, he reached into Xin Tang's clothes and rubbed his stomach for him.

Ying Huan is a person who can make people collapse when he is crazy, but when he is good...no one can help but be moved.

Xin Tang finally drank half a bowl of porridge in a daze.

Ying Huan then continued his dinner. Even though the food on the table was a bit cold, he didn't complain.

If...he hadn't been born in such a family, and had never met Xin Tang...

He should have had a bright future that everyone envied.

Xin Tang could hardly hold back his tears, he didn't dare to think anymore, went to the kitchen and took out Ying Huan's medicine, poured another glass of boiling water on the table to cool.

After Ying Huan finished eating, she took out the medicine and put it together without asking Xin Tang to remind her.

He looked at the medicine for a while, and suddenly asked, "Do you know what it feels like to take these medicines?"

Without waiting for Xin Tang to answer, Ying Huan explained self-consciously: "It's like someone put a lock on your mind, and you feel that there is an invisible barrier in front of everything you do. You know, everything you feel It's all caused by drugs, and your real feelings are locked away."

"But that feeling is the right one." Xin Tang couldn't help replying.

"But, what's wrong with feeling?"

After all, Ying Huan swallowed the medicine in one gulp, and skillfully drank water to help swallow.

He has done this kind of movement countless times, and he can clearly feel the trajectory of his wrist. Since a long time ago, it has been the same and the most comfortable position he has found.

He was sober, but the medicine was slowly taking effect, and he became a little unconscious. He felt that a part of him was locked up, and he gradually became less restless.

Ying Huan shook her head, and said coquettishly to Xin Tang, "I want to sleep."

"Go upstairs and sleep."

"Can you help me? I'm so tired."

Xin Tang thought that Ying Huan would never feel tired, he always looked sober and strategizing, it turned out that taking medicine would make him so tired.

No wonder, he would rather go downstairs to take medicine alone in the middle of the night than to be seen.

Xin Tang helped Ying Huan upstairs, reminded him to wash up, and finally put him on the bed after a lot of effort.

After a while, Ying Huan fell asleep.

Xin Tang didn't feel sleepy at all, he picked up the photo on the bedside table and looked at it carefully for a long time, his thoughts seemed to be drawn back to that summer night——

Ying Huan sat on the balcony without protection. The wind was very strong at night, and the sound of "hu-hu-hu" sounded like a whimper at night.

Xin Tang walked towards Ying Huan step by step, because he was afraid of shocking Ying Huan, he walked very quietly.

With only a few steps left, he was about to pounce over and pull Ying Huan off the window sill when he suddenly heard Ying Huan say, "I didn't take my medicine tonight."

"Why?" Xin Tang answered his question perfunctorily while thinking about how to bring Ying Huan back.

"Those drugs, make me feel bad."

"How can it be bad? They will help you better control your emotions."

"It's not control, Tangtang, no. I can feel it. It locks me, but it can't change me. I often hear some very noisy voices from the locked part of me. They are getting stronger and stronger. Keeping me awake, one day the lock will be broken."

"It's okay, maybe you have developed drug resistance. Let's go to a psychiatrist tomorrow, okay? He will help you solve it."

"He can't help me, only I can help myself."

As he spoke, Ying Huan stood up, staggering, as if a gust of wind could blow him down.

"I'm going to control this part, or, I'm going to kill this part."

Xin Tang's heart almost stopped suddenly, "Don't be impulsive! Didn't the doctor tell you? Your condition is improving, as long as you treat well, everything will be fine."

"It's not going to be good, I know."

Ying Huan's voice was suppressed to the extreme, so suppressed that it seemed a little crazy:

"My head is full of bad ideas, and the more I lock them, the bigger they get.

Can you see what's inside your head?

I can see it.

They are decay, stench, death, darkness.

I can't wait for them to break free and kill you and me, I will control them.

This process will be difficult, if you can't take it anymore, kill me.

Let me go. "

kill me... set me free...

Xin Tang didn't know what it was like to suffer from a mental illness, but he could feel Ying Huan's struggle and overwhelming despair.

Beneath Ying Huan's calm exterior, traps a crazy beast that will eventually tear them all apart, a beast named Schizoid Personality Disorder.

Xin Tang choked with sobs and agreed: "Okay, okay, I promise you, can you get off the windowsill first? It's too dangerous, I'm afraid..."

"it is good……"

Ying Huan responded softly, and finally sat back. Xin Tang rushed forward and hugged him.

That's where the third photo comes from.

Xin Tang opened his eyes blankly, feeling his face was a little cold, and when he touched it, he found that he had shed a lot of tears.