debt see

He reached out and touched the scar on Jiang Tong's waist. It was about ten centimeters long, and there were traces of poor-quality sutures.

"fight?"

Jiang Tong lowered his head and took a look, "It's been years since the fire broke out."

"Those are all?"

"almost."

"How did the bad ones come about?"

Jiang Tong was silent, bent his back and tilted his head and pressed his arms to look at Zhuo Yu. If he said that those bad scars were caused by Zhuo Yu, would Zhuo Yu hate him less?

He didn't know, and he didn't really want to say it, probably because he felt that he was not qualified to be forgiven by Zhuo Yu, or maybe he was frightened by Zhuo Yu's tears in his youth, in short, he just couldn't open his mouth.

"Is the scar from that fall still there?"

Jiang Tong froze for a moment, touched his back with his backhand, and was forced to turn by Zhuo Yu, his fingers groped on his back little by little, and finally dropped his hand in disappointment.

Maybe he didn't remember, and Jiang Tong himself almost forgot, after all, ten years have passed, there will be no pain, and there will be no raised scars.

12、Hate

The position of the shoulder blades on the back was touched again, and Zhuo Yu asked him behind him, "Shouldn't you have a fierce tattoo? What kind of striped fish?"

Jiang Tong couldn't remember clearly, and after thinking for a long time, he said: "I didn't know what to get tattooed when I went there that day. Yi Tianxiang said that I was too bored to be alone all day long, and a mermaid with stripes was my company. I said I don't want a girl, but he said that's fine." A male mermaid tattoo, I said no, then turned into a fish."

"So, why get a tattoo?"

"I've been afraid for a long time. I can't touch or see it, so I forget it." Jiang Tong touched the fish with his backhand and grabbed it twice. Or else I forgot I had such a tattoo, and I forgot what that fish looked like."

"A light blue whale with a spray of water, its tail raised, and its eyes are dark blue."

Zhuo Yu touched the whale tattoo on his shoulder blade and wanted to laugh, "When did you start liking these cartoons, don't you mean childish?"

Jiang Tong recalled some more in Zhuo Yu's description, and asked mutteringly, "The cartoon little whale and the dark attribute big kun, which one would you choose?"

The kun is bigger than a whale, and it is a big kun with a dark attribute. Zhuo Yu has a sense of the picture, and he bowed his head and kissed the little whale and said, "This is it. It is easy to wither."

"I never thought I would be fucked by you." Jiang Tong was a little emotional, and asked him, "Do you still remember when I often took you to watch movies in Internet cafes?"

Zhuo Yu responded in a low voice, "I remember."

"At that time, you were not tall, thin and fair. You blushed when you kissed, and shrank when you touched it. When I didn't kiss and touch you, I thought that I would go to bed with you that day, so as to save long nights and dreams.

Although there was a ten-year gap, I also thought about the possibility of seeing you again, but I never thought that you would stab me directly with a syringe. For the medicine, there is no lubricant or condom. I forgot all the films I saw. . "

When Jiang Tong spoke, he pinched his fingers uneasily, obviously nervous, worried that Zhuo Yu would not like to hear this, but he thought about it, except for the old things and being raped by Zhuo Yu, they actually had nothing to talk about before.

"What about you, do you remember all the content of the clip? Do you still want to abduct me into bed?"

Jiang Tong didn't speak, feeling that he didn't have that face, he turned around and looked at Zhuo Yu, his thoughts wandered, "Can you call me again?"

"Brother Tong."

Ten years ago, everyone who knew him would call him that. After that incident, everyone changed their mouths. This is a special thing he stubbornly left for Zhuo Yu, only for Zhuo Yu alone.

Jiang Tong smiled and lowered his head to lean on Zhuo Yu's shoulder, "I don't know whether it's right or wrong, whether I should continue to promise or give up, Xiaoyu, I want to stay by your side, whether it's a day or a year, I only want you Occasionally come to see me and call me.

Your hatred, your pain, I will bear it a hundred times and a thousand times, I just want to see you and hear your voice..."

"If that's the case, why did you leave me behind ten years ago?"

The voice above his head was very soft, but Jiang Tong couldn't avoid it, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I promised you that I would face everything with you, but I didn't do it. I left you alone in school. I'm sorry... I'm sorry ..."

"Actually, you still don't know why I hate you! Jiang Tong! You don't know what I hate you at all!"

Zhuo Yu pulled him away violently, and pressed Jiang Tong's wrists with his hands on the bed. His calm face was filled with indifferent emotions, and his eyes were full of anger.

Jiang Tong looked straight into those eyes, as if a ruthless trial sentenced him to death, with no room for turning over.

"I hate you! It was never you who left me alone at school to face the gossip and humiliation, for me that life is no different from the ones I faced before you showed up! Jumping is my own choice ,I do not regret!"

Jiang Tong's eyes widened, but he couldn't utter a word in the face of Zhuo Yu's anger.For ten years, he has been guilty of Zhuo Yu jumping off the building, guilty for a whole ten years, but now Zhuo Yu told him that Zhuo Yu never hated him because of these things, so why did Zhuo Yu hate him...

"I hate you! I hate that I didn't give up until the last moment, but you chose to abandon me when I needed you most!

You said that if one day the whole world doesn't want us together and thinks it's our fault, you will stand in front of me and take me away!

You didn't make it!ten years!From the moment I woke up!I have lived in therapy for ten years!Not physical rehabilitation, but psychological! "

This time it was Jiang Tong who was shocked. He twisted his wrist nervously, and after breaking free, he held Zhuo Yu's hand instead.

psychotherapy...

Homosexuality is a disease...

He couldn't help recalling the news clips he had seen before, some about the treatment of homosexuality, Zhuo Yu has experienced such treatment in the past ten years?

During the ten years when he kept regretting that he failed to protect Zhuo Yu, what Zhuo Yu endured was the real pain!

"Jiang Tong! I've been waiting for you! I've been waiting for you paranoidly for ten years! It was you who gave up on me! You were the first to let go! You will never know what it's like to be treated for ten years, you won't Knowing what it's like to be denied again and again for the firmness in your heart, you don't know, before I saw you, I completely forgot what you looked like in ten years, I already forgot what happened in those two years, and I forgot about us How did we get together, I forgot how we separated, I can only remember that there is only one person, and there are endless opposition and negation.

Jiang Tong, tell me, why haven't you appeared in front of me once in ten years?You tell me, how should I repay you for the pain of these ten years?Say it! "

Facing Zhuo Yu's questioning, Jiang Tong was unable to answer at all. He thought that the love he had restrained for ten years was for Zhuo Yu's good, so he lived in his own world, neither looking for nor extravagantly hoping.

But Zhuo Yu used the cruelest means to live in a hell that never sees the light of day, allowing Zhuo Yu's love for him to be wiped away by the passage of time.

He thought he could make up for it, and he was willing to accept whatever Zhuo Yu did to him, as long as Zhuo Yu was happy and could let go.

But he was wrong, what happened has already happened, it is inevitable, even if Zhuo Yu vented all the pain of the past ten years on him, Zhuo Yu's pain will not disappear.

Feng Yi is right, he is cowardly, so he has been avoiding for ten years, never faced it in a real sense, and left Zhuo Yu in the hospital ten years ago.

Jiang Tong also understood at this moment why Zhuo Yu recognized those medicines, not only because Zhuo Yu had good grades, but because Zhuo Yu had also taken those medicines!

If love is selfish, then Jiang Tong wants to be as selfish as he was when he was young, give up everything to make up for it, and redeem the mistakes of the past ten years in his lifetime!

Raising his hand, Jiang Tong hooked Zhuo Yu's neck and brought him down to hug him tightly, "Xiaoyu, this time I won't let go, if I let go, then I can only die."

The person in his arms sneered, showing obvious distrust, but Jiang Tong didn't care, and didn't let go of Zhuo Yu's hand.

He thought, since he has been wrong for 12 years, why can't he continue to be wrong.People who are already terminally ill will die sooner or later. Rather than accepting those unrealistic treatments, it is better to die quickly.

Jiang Tong laughed, lowered his head and touched Zhuo Yu's forehead, and said softly, "Xiao Yu, can you tell Brother Tong the name of the attending doctor?"

Zhuo Yu, who was hugged, froze for a moment, and the long-forgotten memories emerged little by little, as if out of an instinct, Zhuo Yu told Jiang Tong.

"Qin Chuan."

Jiang Tong recited the name lightly, engraved it in his heart over and over again, and fell asleep in the constant recitation.

After a long time, Zhuo Yu broke free from Jiang Tong's hand and sat up, frowning displeased, and then a terrible thought came to his mind, he wondered if the 28-year-old Jiang Tong would still do such childish things for him?

He didn't know that after being separated from Jiang Tong for ten years, he couldn't remember what Jiang Tong was like ten years ago, let alone understand Jiang Tong ten years later.

From the intimate acquaintance to the distance between the same bed and different dreams at this moment, Zhuo Yu has long been unable to tell whether he loves Jiang Tong or is unwilling for the past ten years.

He lowered his head, put his hands on his lap casually, and his eyes fell on the sleeping Jiang Tong again and again. Why did the man who was once everything to him and the person who loved him the most, completely abandon him when he needed it most? disappeared from life.

What is it that makes Jiang Tong, who is covered in scars, choose to open a milk tea shop, not caring about world affairs, clearing his muscles and living like an ordinary person?

Zhuo Yu wanted to know very much, but reason stopped such thoughts, got up and pulled the quilt to cover Jiang Tong, Zhuo Yu chose to leave.