Sang Yu Fei Wan

After what seemed to be a quarter of an hour's pause, Zhong Beichen spoke dully on Yu Sang's shoulder.

"Because...it's not a very happy thing."

"Don't you want to tell me about the unhappy things?" Yu Sang asked.

Yu Sang felt her shoulder being tapped, as if Zhong Beichen was nodding.

"...I don't want to make you unhappy."

"But if what I hear is false," Yu Sang said, "I won't be very happy either."

"I know." Zhong Beichen said quickly.

Then, like a criminal who regrets his immature methods, he whispered: "I just didn't expect you..."

Yu Sang thought it was a little funny, he pushed Zhong Beichen out of his arms, put his hand on Zhong Beichen's shoulder, and asked, "If I didn't happen to live in Qingyuan, you would have kept telling the lie with peace of mind, Yeah?"

Zhong Beichen didn't answer.

Only now did Yu Sang really feel a little angry.

He took a few deep breaths, calmed down, and turned around to clean up the leftovers on the dining table.

He picked up the stacked dishes, turned his back to Zhong Beichen, and walked towards the kitchen.

After walking two steps, I heard footsteps behind me.Yu Sang turned his head, and Zhong Beichen stopped immediately.

After walking two more steps, I heard footsteps again, and turned my head again, as if everything was repeating itself.

Yu Sangqian laughed twice, ignored Zhong Beichen, walked straight into the kitchen, turned on the faucet, squeezed out dish soap, and picked up a scouring pad.

Zhong Beichen stood at the door of the kitchen, looking at Yu Sang without saying a word.

"Stories are accidental." After a long silence, Zhong Beichen said the first sentence.

"Huh?" Yu Sang didn't stop what she was doing, but only expressed her doubts through her nose.

"We draw lessons, lessons, perspectives on the world and ways of coping with life from stories...but stories are one-sided."

"In this world, anything can happen."

Yu Sang couldn't keep up with Zhong Beichen's train of thought. He washed the last plate, put it on the plate rack, wiped his hands, turned around, and faced Zhong Beichen.

Zhong Beichen opened his eyes slightly, his eyes lowered, not focused on any place, as if he was struggling to think about his expression.

"I don't understand what you mean." Yu Sang said bluntly.

"I mean...I don't think...I don't necessarily have to tell a true story."

"Why?" Yu Sang asked.

"We get some truth from this story, but if we hear another story," Zhong Beichen explained, "maybe we get a completely different truth. Sometimes, I think, you don't necessarily need to know Those... not very happy things. You just get your courage from a good story..."

"What's the use of courage alone?" Yu Sang asked, "If I get courage blindly and do something that was just a fantasy, what if I fail in the end?"

"You won't fail." Zhong Beichen said quickly.

"What do you mean? Why can't I fail?" Yu Sang frowned and looked at Zhong Beichen.

Zhong Beichen paused, shook his head, and did not answer.

"Okay," Yu Sang didn't delve into it, "Let's not talk about failure and success. Let me ask you again, even if I've heard your good story and got inspired, why do you use your values ​​to make decisions for me? What should I see?"

Zhong Beichen's expression was slightly shocked, as if he was stopped by the question.

"Why are you happy...it must be a good thing?" Yu Sang asked softly.

Yu Sang closed his mouth, he felt that he was not very excited, but his chest rose and fell strongly.

At this time, Zhong Beichen looked like a student who made a serious mistake in class and made the teacher furious.

Yu Sang watched, her heart softened again.

"I've been through a lot of bad things, Beichen," Yu Sang said, "but if it wasn't for those bad things, I wouldn't be here today. With you."

"Of course, good things too."

"But falsehood is different. The falsehood is controlled by people and has its cornerstone. A cornerstone that I can't see, don't know its existence, let alone control. At this time, I seem to be living in a castle in the air. If I'm lucky enough, It may be strong and keep me safe for life; but more often than not, it will be fragile."

"It will be broken, it will be shattered, and it will fall. And I can't predict anything, I can't make any choices, I have no control over myself. In the moment before the disaster, I don't know anything."

"I'd like to surrender some of my control over myself to you...but not in this way."

Zhong Beichen was silent for a long time after Yu Sang finished speaking.

He stretched out his hand, pulled the hem of Yu Sang's pajamas, climbed up the sleeve, then slid down gently, and finally took Yu Sang's hand.

Then he said slowly and carefully: "I'm not really... I think it's just a difference of luck..."

But quickly added: "But I will never lie to you again."

Yu Sang shook Zhong Beichen's hot and sweaty palms, and decided not to continue talking.

At one point, Beichen was right that people gain experience and lessons from stories—or, in other words, people gain experience and lessons from their own experiences.

It's hard to truly empathize with something without having experienced it.

Maybe he will understand later.

Yu Sang thought for a while, then asked again: "Then your mother...what happened?"

Hearing Yu Sang's question, Zhong Beichen's hands tightened, obviously nervous.

He stammered, "If I...don't want to say..."

"...also in the 'Use my values ​​to determine what you see' category?"

Yu Sang smiled and shook her head.

"Of course it's your choice. Just as your boyfriend, I hope... If you feel worried, you can tell me."

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