"Clivia? Why are you sitting here?"

A girl sat on the stone steps in front of the school. She had a high ponytail and a pointed chin. She looked very thin, and the cuffs of her clothes had been washed to the point of turning white.

Clivia turned her head and smiled at the girl who hurried over. She stood up and patted the dust off her body.

"Waiting for you." Clivia said.

Clivia has a pair of clear and bright eyes, and there is always a smile on her mouth when looking at her.

Shu Wanru envied her, envied her beauty, but looks are often the least valued in this era, universities will not admit you just because you look good, if you have no money, you will have nothing to do.

Shu Wan was running like a hurry, still panting heavily: "Where did you volunteer for?"

Clivia was slightly startled, and the corners of her mouth were flattened into a single word. She shyly turned her eyes away and looked at the distant fields: "Big A, my dream."

After hearing this, Shu Wanru immediately showed her lips and teeth: "I said we have a tacit understanding! I also applied for A University, and then we will leave this crappy place together."

Clivia pulled the corners of her lips far-fetchedly, but Shu Wanru didn't see it, and was still immersed in the future and Clivia's college life.

The heavy schoolbag did not bend the girl's back. The two of them walked arm in arm on the country lanes. Occasionally, a flock of sheep would pass by. Shu Wanru would hide behind Clivia in fright, while Clivia comforted her gently while isolating her from the flock.

"You are so gentle."

"is it?"

"If you have a daughter in the future, maybe she will be gentler than you~"

Clivia stopped suddenly, her left hand tightly clutching the strap of her schoolbag.

Shu Wanru turned around and asked, "What's wrong with you?"

"Ah Ru, I told you that I don't want to get married."

The air was a little silent, only the chirping of cicadas remained.

After a while, Clivia sighed: "Forget it, we are different."

Clivia clenched her schoolbag tightly, let go of Shu Wanru's hand, and strode ahead, when her hand was suddenly held as she walked, Clivia turned her head and met Shu Wanru's somewhat resentful eyes.

"Ah Ru..." she murmured.

Suddenly, Shu Wanru opened her arms and hugged her tightly, holding her tightly in her arms. This was different from the previous hugs, this time it was heavier.

"you..."

"I don't want you to have children either, I don't want to see you marry someone else..." Shu Wanru choked up as she spoke, "I...I don't know what's wrong, I know you will always marry... ...I don't know, I really don't know what's wrong with me, Alan, am I sick."

Clivia slowly raised her hand, stroked her back, patted her lightly, and comforted her: "Ah Ru, I'm sick too, I seem to be in love with you."

The afterglow of the setting sun sprinkled on the faces of the two girls, like a beautiful picture scroll, they knew clearly that this was wrong, and it was not recognized by the world, but they firmly believed in each other, just like Shakespeare once said Pass: The road of true love is never smooth.

"You disgust me! Are you worthy of your dead father?"

The mother beat her daughter hard on the back with a stick. The girl's face turned pale and her lips lost color. She knelt in the yard, no matter how her mother beat her or scolded her, she was unmoved.

"You you!" My mother was anxious, grabbed her schoolbag and poured out all the contents.

An admission notice fell out of the schoolbag, and before Clivia had time to react, her mother had already grabbed the admission notice and tore it into pieces.

"Going to college? Dreaming! Hurry up and find someone to marry me! Don't ever see that person again in this life!"

"Mom!" Clivia cried and knocked her head on the ground: "Please! I beg you!"

The gate in the courtyard was pushed open, not by Shu Wanru, but by Shu Wanru's parents.

Ever since the affair between the two of them was discovered, Shu Wanru has been confined at home. Shu Wanru's family is a scholarly family, and her parents always have a scholarly aura, so it is impossible to beat the child.

Shu Wanru's mother scanned the yard with cold eyes and made a slight disdainful sound.

"What are you doing here! Why don't you go home and educate your children well! Save yourself from harming others!"

"Don't get me wrong." Shu Wanru's mother said, "It's not clear who is causing the trouble. I don't think you can afford your child to go to college with your conditions, just like she and our family are destined to be two. People of the world, I’m here to advise you, Ruru has already been admitted to Grenoble University in country F, and she has a bright future in the future, I don’t want her to be delayed by you, understand?”

These words were obviously meant for the people kneeling on the ground to hear.

Shu Wanru's father said, "We will move to the city soon."

The implication: you will not be able to keep up with our footsteps in your life.

"Bah!" Clivia's mother picked up the stick and was about to throw her out.

"Crap!" The couple couldn't hold back their faces, and ran towards the door while cursing.

After the people left, Clivia collapsed in the yard like a deflated balloon, with wet tears hanging from the corners of her eyes.

A mother is a mother after all, and she loves the child after all. Shu Wanru's mother locked her in the room after prescribing the medicine for her.

"I'll let you out when you think it through. You should find someone at your age. After a year or two, you'll get married and have children. Mom will let this matter go."

The mother yelled through the door, but couldn't hear the response from the house, so she turned away and went to work in the garden.

What Shu Wanru's parents said lingered in Clivia's mind, but what they said was right, she was born to marry and have children, and for her, going abroad for further study was the right way.

Do you really have to be so selfish?

It was not easy for her mother to raise her alone. She heard her mother cry many times in the dark, crying to her dead father.

Heart-piercing cries came from the room, and the guard dog in the yard also stood up, and the sparrow flapped its wings, unwilling to stay on the eaves.

A few days later, my mother brought in a man. The man was Wen Zhongtian. He looked honest and honest. Seeing her unhappy all day, she tried to make her happy, but she couldn't even fake a smile.

Maybe there is nothing wrong with marrying the man in front of her, she and Shu Wanru were wrong in the first place.

One night, the dogs in the yard started barking wildly. Clivia got up and was jumped by the figure in front of the window, but she calmed down soon.

"Why are you here!" Clivia lowered her voice and gently opened the window.

The dog stopped barking and lay down obediently.

"Let's elope!" Shu Wanru said.

Clivia was taken aback, she didn't know how to respond to Shu Wanru's crazy proposal.

Elopement... Will you really be happy after elopement?If she really left, how sad my mother would be, and what about Shu Wanru's future?

"sorry, I can not."

"what!"

Clivia pursed her lips and said again: "I can't."

The night in the countryside was a bit cold, Shu Wanru was so blown that she shivered: "That's right...it's because I wasn't thoughtful enough. Let's go when I go back and get ready."

"Shu Wanru!" Clivia's voice was a bit cold, colder than the summer night wind.

"Don't you understand? I said I won't go!"

"why?"

"Because I don't love you anymore. In the past few days, someone has made me understand that we are wrong. I should marry him and have children. I love him! I don't love you!"

Shu Wanru's heart seemed to be broken, she wanted to touch Clivia's cheek with trembling hands, but before she could reach out, Clivia had already closed the window.

Through the window, Clivia said a word to Shu Wanru.

"roll."

Shu Wanru really "got out" and never appeared again, until one day her mother opened the locked door.

Clivia knew that Shu Wanru had left.

A few years later, Clivia married Wen Zhongtian and soon gave birth to a daughter. She had the habit of keeping a diary, but the contents of the diary were never read by anyone.

When her daughter was three years old, Clivia was diagnosed with advanced gastric cancer. Wen Zhongtian found out that his wife had cheated on him for so many years. His wife loved a woman for several years.

Wen Zhongtian took the family savings and left home in a fit of anger, leaving behind his three-year-old daughter.

Shu Wanru is dead...everyone knows, but she doesn't.

"Do you regret it?" Fang Tingnan put the flowers in front of the tomb and bowed deeply.

Shu Wanru nodded, her face was marked by years, she was old, really old.

"If I could turn back time, I would never leave like that."

"But I've already missed it. She definitely doesn't want you to live in memory and live in such pain for the rest of your life."

Shu Wanru squatted down, raised her hand and gently stroked the smiling person in the black and white photo.

"She is always like this, always smiling at me gently, even the words of farewell are so gentle, even though the face is very cold, but the tone is not willing to hurt me, I was so stupid that I didn't notice it, no ...is stupid."

She murmured, and Fang Tingnan knew that she was not speaking to herself, but to the person sleeping here.

"Go back and find Wen Jingxin, it's time for her to get off work."

Fang Tingnan looked at the time and said, "Then I'm leaving, you go back early, it's a bit cold here."

"it is good."

After Fang Tingnan left, Shu Wanru sat down and leaned against the cold tombstone. She kept talking, as if she had endless words.

Yes, I have been holding back for half my life.

The author has something to say: this is the official end~w see you in the next book~ ps Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!

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