fall in love with ex-husband

I forgot whether I answered Zhang Kaiji, and even more forgot what nonsense I said to him while my mind was buzzing.

His body temperature was continuously coming from the wrist he was grasping.

It was pitch black in front of me, and I couldn't even tell the direction, but I was surprised to see his eyes full of accountability.

He seemed to say in my ear: "Why did you abandon me? Why did you leave me? Don't you love me?"

And he didn't.

The more he didn't speak, the more I felt that invisible thorns pierced my heart fiercely, making me drip with blood every time I took a breath.

Unable to face Zhang Kaiji directly, I was like a frightened mouse, so I ran away in a hurry, and even fell on the school gate because my legs were weak, and I was in a panic.

So that night I hurriedly packed my luggage and moved out of Meng Xizhi's house, and fled back to my own house as if I was running for my life.

Throwing away the luggage and covering my body with the quilt, I lay motionless on the bed, taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself down.

However, it didn't work, and my heart was still chaotic.

Especially when I found that the bedroom that originally belonged to the two of us now only had my body temperature left, I finally couldn't suppress the pain in my heart, held tightly the wedding ring that Zhang Kaiji bought for me, and burst into tears.

How much I want to tell Zhang Kaiji, I think about him all the time, my life is not good without him, can you take pity on me and give me a simple hug.

But I can't, especially when I learn that Zhang Kaiji is living a better life than I imagined.The me now, not only cannot help his life in any way, but will drag him down, make him laugh at by colleagues and friends, and there is a neurotic dying person in the family.

I don't know what's wrong with me, I never thought this way before, and I don't even care about what other people think of me. Ever since I knew I had cancer, I have become extremely sensitive, and every little thing can touch my tense nerves. Coupled with my lack of confidence in the results of the treatment, my whole body was shrouded in repressed emotions, and I often fell into tedious thinking when I was alone, questioning the meaning of being alive now.

Because I didn't want others to discover my anomaly, I gradually trapped myself in a cage called my "self", not contacting the outside world, not talking to others, and even turning the anguish that couldn't be conveyed by missing Zhang Kaiji into a love for fate. Complaints of injustice, condemnation of oneself.

I was like a prisoner condemned by fate. Before I died, I asked God hysterically, there are billions of people on the earth, why should I have this damn disease, what did I do wrong, why not I am willing to give me a chance to correct.

In my imagination, God often appears in the form of a faceless man. Whenever I ask him a question, he always looks at me with a mocking expression, as if he is counting the seconds and waiting for the day when I will collapse.

The sleeping parents were awakened by my movement, and hurried up to knock on the door: "Xixi, is that you? What's wrong with you? Open the door!"

The worried voice of my parents pulled me out of the chaos. I tried to respond to them, but found that I couldn't make a sound. Just when I was confused, I heard the sound of them breaking into the door.

I saw my parents who had gray hair at some point and aged quietly. I looked at them awkwardly and opened my mouth, but still no sound came out of my vocal cords.

I looked at them in surprise, and then I heard my mother's wailing, followed by panicked footsteps.

But I have no way of knowing what's going on because my head is getting heavier and my eyelids are getting heavier and I can no longer think and have no energy to grieve.

Will I wake up again this time?Will he still remember Zhang Kaiji when he wakes up?

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Sorry everyone, because I did the experiment until 01:30 in the morning, so I only update now.Sorry.There are two updates in total, don’t miss them, I wish you all a happy National Day ~ have a good rest, pay attention to the balance between work and rest.