You, teach me how to do things?
Chapter 1
——I was in China, and just after getting off the plane, my parents took me on a blind date. The other party was a capitalist who liked literature. Is there any way to drive him crazy in the shortest possible time.
—— Laxatives, it is recommended to recite the "Book of Songs" in front of the other party, which is completely wrong in pinyin.
——What if the other party is well-trained?
——Tell him that your favorite TV series is "Lin Daiyu Pulling the Weeping Willow Upside Down".
Xia Yuanling yawned and looked at the menu in his hand, exited the Zhihu app, and turned off the phone.
Just like what was asked in the question, that's right, he, Xia Yuanling, is on a blind date right now.
He debuted as a child star, and acted in a movie that has spread all over the country. Because of his youthful and cute appearance when he was young, he quickly became a household name.
Since then, Xia Yuanling has had the same scenery, business appointments, cooperation, and performances have been found one after another.
The Xia family was not short of money, and they didn't want to make their son so tired, so they refused all of them and asked Xia Yuanling to study hard.
The show is gone, but the topic has always been there.
After applying for the famous film and television academy, Xia Yuanling tried to replicate the glory of the year, and has been actively participating in various movies and TV dramas.
But there is a good saying, "The price of early prosperity is premature aging." Since then, Xia Yuanling's career has been the same as that of top divers, and the splash has been suppressed.
Other people's plummet is either because there is no filming, Xia Yuanling is purely unlucky and has a hard-fated life.
When I was in college, I accepted a play and played the role of the male lead. As a result, the heroine and the female lead were announced together. The roles played by these two people in the play were still sisters.Orthopedics plus Lily is double the happiness, the two of them are happy, and they are confused.
In the second film, the investor's wife and lover gave him a green hat. This green hat can be called a couple. In a fit of anger, the investor committed suicide by jumping off the building, and the project was aborted.
What was left was muddled, fluttering, and he had also been reduced from a starring role to a male N+N number, and sometimes he had to rely on tricks to make a living.
After so many years, I can barely eat enough for myself.Xia Yuanling's parents can't sit still anymore, if your career is not good, you should at least bear fruit in love.
"I like men."
"That's great."
Xia Yuanling didn't understand what kind of gourd was sold in her parents' medicine.
"Do you have any requirements for the other half?" Mother Xia searched the Moments of her mahjong close friend, planning to find a blind date for her son.
Xia Yuanling scratched his head: "You have to be good at a good job."
He thinks simply, a good job and a virgin are a contradiction, and if parents can find it, they will be very happy.
But he never expected that his parents were really incensed.
"Your Uncle Shang's son, Doctor of Literature, now inherits the family's jewelry company." Mother Xia introduced her son seriously.
"It sounds very feudal. I won't go. I yearn for freedom."
My own father, who has never interfered with his own affairs, said: "If you don't go, I will let you taste the iron fist of your feudal parents."
So Xia Yuanling hesitated.
He knew that fighting with his father was a lot of fun, fighting with his mother was a lot of fun, and fighting with his parents probably left only the heartache of the wallet.
What's more, my career has not been successful, and my mother has long criticized me. If I refuse the request for a blind date, I am afraid that my life will never be peaceful.
While the other party was also looking at the menu, Xia Yuanling sneaked a glance at the man sitting opposite.
Men are dressed simply, with a white shirt and a black windbreaker, which is just right for the lukewarm season.With deep eye sockets, cool white skin and thick eyebrows, Xia Yuanling likes thick makeup.It's just that the pair of gold-rimmed glasses on the bridge of the nose are too obtrusive, and coupled with the academic background of the Ph.D. in the Department of Literature, at first glance, he looks like a patriarch of the feudal family.
But it's the young master of the Shang family.
What parents want to see most is the alliance between the monks and the family.
He sighed, lowered his head and continued to look for the food he wanted to eat.
"Is there anything you want to eat?" asked the man sitting opposite, "Their boiled broccoli is pretty good."
Oh, and a feudal patriarch who likes to feed rabbits.
"I'll take a look."
The man didn't speak, but raised his head and smiled, his eyes fell on the cross earrings Xia Yuanling was wearing.
Xia Yuanling was wearing a contrasting color sweater and a black scarf. This cold and hot outfit made it hard for men to see through.A blind date arrived 10 minutes late, and he kept yawning as soon as he sat down, as if he owed him 800 million.I heard from my mother that Xia Yuanling likes anime, heh, he's a sophomore in middle school who doesn't even have hair yet and wants to play tricks everywhere.
Xia Yuanling played with his mobile phone while ordering food. The man was impatient to wait for him, so he reached out to open Zhihu and sent a message.
——The blind date is a sophomore boy who likes anime, what should I say to make him hate me instantly?
Not long after, a netizen named "800 years without enough food" who followed me replied to the message.
——Tell him that you also like anime, and love watching "SpongeBob SquarePants".
After dawdling and ordering the dishes, the two of them had time to have a good conversation.
"By the way, I don't know your name yet?" Xia Yuanling asked proactively, "I'm sorry, I've been jet-lagged these days, and I'm really sorry that I slept in this morning."
"Shang Chuan." The man replied, he felt a little more comfortable because of Xia Yuanling's explanation, and patiently explained to Xia Yuanling how to write his name, "Shang Chuan of Shangshu, Chuan is the Chuan who looks at the waterfall hanging from the front of the river."
"Three one's Chuan?" Xia Yuanling sniffled after hearing this, "That's a good name."
Vigorous.
The conditions for a great job can't just come from this place.
Shang Chuan couldn't understand what he said, but felt that this person was so strange.However, if the other party praised him, he would naturally retaliate: "Your name is also very nice, round zero."
Xia Yuanling almost spit out a mouthful of water.
Who wants to be a round zero?
You are sick!
"Are you jet-lagged? Have you been abroad recently?"
"Well, filming."
Shang Chuan heard from his mother that Xia Yuanling was a child star who had been working in the entertainment industry for so many years, but he didn't get anything out of it.But didn't they all go abroad to film? It looks pretty good.
"What scene are you filming?"
Xia Yuanling thought for a while, and felt that the "Lin Daiyu Pulling Weeping Willows Upside Down" mentioned by Zhihu netizens was not enough, so he made up his own: ""Liangshan 2: Lin Daiyu Three Visits to Monkey King"."
Shang Chuan almost lost his temper after listening to it. Can this thing still neatly write the four great classics?
The coffin boards of Cao Xueqin, Luo Guanzhong, Shi Naian, and Wu Chengen couldn't bear it anymore.
"Do you want to hear the plot, you mean—"
Xia Yuanling Balabala wanted to start talking about the plot, but was stopped directly by Shang Chuan.
It's going to kill me, I think I'm going crazy after hearing this: "Can I just call you Xiao Xia?"
"can."
As long as you don't call me round zero.
"Xiao Xia is an actor, right? I grew up watching your plays."
Xia Yuanling almost spit out the water from his mouth again.
You are 32, I am 24, who grew up watching who grew up!
Swallow the cold water in your mouth, and keep it in your mouth, sooner or later something will happen.
In other words, why is this dish still not served, I will be choked to death by plain boiled water.
Xia Yuanling quickly changed the topic: "I wonder what Mr. Shang usually likes to do?"
"I'm usually very busy at work, and occasionally I like to read books when I'm free—"
Oh, found a place to interject.
"Really? I'm reading The Book of Songs recently—"
Xia Yuanling proudly recited the answers taught to him by Zhihu netizens in front of Shang Chuan.
"The reeds (xia) are pale, and the white dew (lou) is frost. The so-called Yiren are on the side of the water."
Shang Chuan frowned, feeling that the matter was not simple.
Elementary school students can recite this poem, Xia Yuanling's deliberate traces are too obvious.
Do you hate yourself so much?Then he will heal him in the same way.
"I heard you like anime?"
Xia Yuanling suddenly had a bad feeling...
"I also like watching anime, and I'm watching "SpongeBob SquarePants" recently."
Hold!He knew it would be like this!
What kind of bereavement friend? Watch anime instead of One Piece Hokage and SpongeBob SquarePants?
"I'm sorry for "Teletubbies" if you didn't say that," Xia Yuanling added, "Of course there's "Garden Baby."
But after calming down, Xia Yuanling noticed something was wrong.
Where have you heard this statement?
"You mean 'walnuts caught in the door can nourish the brain'?" Xia Yuanling turned on his phone and pointed to his answer on Zhihu today and asked Shang Chuan.
Shang Chuan was shocked: "You haven't had enough food for 800 years?"
Grass, I've never heard of a blind date who also lost a horse with her.
Just at this time, the waiter came to serve the food. The two of them smirked and pretended to be amiable. When the food was finished, their smiles froze.
Xia Yuanling spoke first: "I have a showdown. I don't want to be in a relationship or a blind date. My mother forced me to come here."
Shang Chuan is also in a similar situation.
"I'm so bored, two or three phone calls a day, never leaving marriage and love."
"I also want to say that you are not in a hurry now, and no one will ask for it in the future."
"That's right, that's what my mother said." Xia Yuanling put a piece of pork ribs in a bowl, "I took a break after filming for a few days, a total of five days of rest, and my mother arranged more than a dozen blind dates for me. "
"What are you? My mother arranged blind dates for me until the early morning." Shang Chuan sighed. He had never been afraid of anyone in the shopping malls all these years, but he couldn't deal with his own mother.
"You put it that way, I have a pretty good idea to solve our predicament."
"what way?"
He leaned over to listen, the autumn air outside the window was clear and cloudless, and the sun was shining on the two of them through the window.
One side of the face is sunlight, the other side is shadow.
"We both told our parents that we fell in love with each other, and we don't have to go on blind dates in the future. You do your work and I play mine. What do you think?"
Shang Chuan raised his eyebrows, a bit risky, but a good idea.
Falling in love with the young master of the Xia family can always keep their parents' mouths shut.
It's better than asking how to get mad at a blind date every day, and how to avoid being mad at a blind date every day.
"Okay," Shang Chuan smiled, "Then we have a happy cooperation."
"joy."
After dinner, the two bid farewell at the door of the restaurant.
Before leaving, he shook hands, hoping that they could all get out of their current predicament.
Then turned and left, one on the left and one on the right, each took out their mobile phones and explained to their parents.
As soon as Xia's mother got through, she asked, "How does it feel to be on a blind date? I'm not saying that, the son of the Shang family is good, with a good family background and a high degree of education. It's just right for you to be with him."
Xia Yuanling hadn't contacted her mother for a long time, and this was the first time in a long time that the two of them sat down to chat calmly.Xia Yuanling took a deep breath: "It's pretty good, Mom, you can push me away from the rest of my blind dates, I want to get in touch with him more."
"Hey, good, good."
On the other side, Shang Chuan also talked about Xia Yuanling with his parents.
"Xiao Xia is pretty good, he can eat and drink, and is easy to support. I plan to get in touch with him more."
Mother Shang was overjoyed, her son was so picky about someone, finally someone who could see him right.
But what kind of description is it to be easy to feed, isn't there any other advantage!
The author says:
The new article is updated, and the flowers are scattered~~
If you like it, click a favorite! ! ! !Thank you Orz
—— Laxatives, it is recommended to recite the "Book of Songs" in front of the other party, which is completely wrong in pinyin.
——What if the other party is well-trained?
——Tell him that your favorite TV series is "Lin Daiyu Pulling the Weeping Willow Upside Down".
Xia Yuanling yawned and looked at the menu in his hand, exited the Zhihu app, and turned off the phone.
Just like what was asked in the question, that's right, he, Xia Yuanling, is on a blind date right now.
He debuted as a child star, and acted in a movie that has spread all over the country. Because of his youthful and cute appearance when he was young, he quickly became a household name.
Since then, Xia Yuanling has had the same scenery, business appointments, cooperation, and performances have been found one after another.
The Xia family was not short of money, and they didn't want to make their son so tired, so they refused all of them and asked Xia Yuanling to study hard.
The show is gone, but the topic has always been there.
After applying for the famous film and television academy, Xia Yuanling tried to replicate the glory of the year, and has been actively participating in various movies and TV dramas.
But there is a good saying, "The price of early prosperity is premature aging." Since then, Xia Yuanling's career has been the same as that of top divers, and the splash has been suppressed.
Other people's plummet is either because there is no filming, Xia Yuanling is purely unlucky and has a hard-fated life.
When I was in college, I accepted a play and played the role of the male lead. As a result, the heroine and the female lead were announced together. The roles played by these two people in the play were still sisters.Orthopedics plus Lily is double the happiness, the two of them are happy, and they are confused.
In the second film, the investor's wife and lover gave him a green hat. This green hat can be called a couple. In a fit of anger, the investor committed suicide by jumping off the building, and the project was aborted.
What was left was muddled, fluttering, and he had also been reduced from a starring role to a male N+N number, and sometimes he had to rely on tricks to make a living.
After so many years, I can barely eat enough for myself.Xia Yuanling's parents can't sit still anymore, if your career is not good, you should at least bear fruit in love.
"I like men."
"That's great."
Xia Yuanling didn't understand what kind of gourd was sold in her parents' medicine.
"Do you have any requirements for the other half?" Mother Xia searched the Moments of her mahjong close friend, planning to find a blind date for her son.
Xia Yuanling scratched his head: "You have to be good at a good job."
He thinks simply, a good job and a virgin are a contradiction, and if parents can find it, they will be very happy.
But he never expected that his parents were really incensed.
"Your Uncle Shang's son, Doctor of Literature, now inherits the family's jewelry company." Mother Xia introduced her son seriously.
"It sounds very feudal. I won't go. I yearn for freedom."
My own father, who has never interfered with his own affairs, said: "If you don't go, I will let you taste the iron fist of your feudal parents."
So Xia Yuanling hesitated.
He knew that fighting with his father was a lot of fun, fighting with his mother was a lot of fun, and fighting with his parents probably left only the heartache of the wallet.
What's more, my career has not been successful, and my mother has long criticized me. If I refuse the request for a blind date, I am afraid that my life will never be peaceful.
While the other party was also looking at the menu, Xia Yuanling sneaked a glance at the man sitting opposite.
Men are dressed simply, with a white shirt and a black windbreaker, which is just right for the lukewarm season.With deep eye sockets, cool white skin and thick eyebrows, Xia Yuanling likes thick makeup.It's just that the pair of gold-rimmed glasses on the bridge of the nose are too obtrusive, and coupled with the academic background of the Ph.D. in the Department of Literature, at first glance, he looks like a patriarch of the feudal family.
But it's the young master of the Shang family.
What parents want to see most is the alliance between the monks and the family.
He sighed, lowered his head and continued to look for the food he wanted to eat.
"Is there anything you want to eat?" asked the man sitting opposite, "Their boiled broccoli is pretty good."
Oh, and a feudal patriarch who likes to feed rabbits.
"I'll take a look."
The man didn't speak, but raised his head and smiled, his eyes fell on the cross earrings Xia Yuanling was wearing.
Xia Yuanling was wearing a contrasting color sweater and a black scarf. This cold and hot outfit made it hard for men to see through.A blind date arrived 10 minutes late, and he kept yawning as soon as he sat down, as if he owed him 800 million.I heard from my mother that Xia Yuanling likes anime, heh, he's a sophomore in middle school who doesn't even have hair yet and wants to play tricks everywhere.
Xia Yuanling played with his mobile phone while ordering food. The man was impatient to wait for him, so he reached out to open Zhihu and sent a message.
——The blind date is a sophomore boy who likes anime, what should I say to make him hate me instantly?
Not long after, a netizen named "800 years without enough food" who followed me replied to the message.
——Tell him that you also like anime, and love watching "SpongeBob SquarePants".
After dawdling and ordering the dishes, the two of them had time to have a good conversation.
"By the way, I don't know your name yet?" Xia Yuanling asked proactively, "I'm sorry, I've been jet-lagged these days, and I'm really sorry that I slept in this morning."
"Shang Chuan." The man replied, he felt a little more comfortable because of Xia Yuanling's explanation, and patiently explained to Xia Yuanling how to write his name, "Shang Chuan of Shangshu, Chuan is the Chuan who looks at the waterfall hanging from the front of the river."
"Three one's Chuan?" Xia Yuanling sniffled after hearing this, "That's a good name."
Vigorous.
The conditions for a great job can't just come from this place.
Shang Chuan couldn't understand what he said, but felt that this person was so strange.However, if the other party praised him, he would naturally retaliate: "Your name is also very nice, round zero."
Xia Yuanling almost spit out a mouthful of water.
Who wants to be a round zero?
You are sick!
"Are you jet-lagged? Have you been abroad recently?"
"Well, filming."
Shang Chuan heard from his mother that Xia Yuanling was a child star who had been working in the entertainment industry for so many years, but he didn't get anything out of it.But didn't they all go abroad to film? It looks pretty good.
"What scene are you filming?"
Xia Yuanling thought for a while, and felt that the "Lin Daiyu Pulling Weeping Willows Upside Down" mentioned by Zhihu netizens was not enough, so he made up his own: ""Liangshan 2: Lin Daiyu Three Visits to Monkey King"."
Shang Chuan almost lost his temper after listening to it. Can this thing still neatly write the four great classics?
The coffin boards of Cao Xueqin, Luo Guanzhong, Shi Naian, and Wu Chengen couldn't bear it anymore.
"Do you want to hear the plot, you mean—"
Xia Yuanling Balabala wanted to start talking about the plot, but was stopped directly by Shang Chuan.
It's going to kill me, I think I'm going crazy after hearing this: "Can I just call you Xiao Xia?"
"can."
As long as you don't call me round zero.
"Xiao Xia is an actor, right? I grew up watching your plays."
Xia Yuanling almost spit out the water from his mouth again.
You are 32, I am 24, who grew up watching who grew up!
Swallow the cold water in your mouth, and keep it in your mouth, sooner or later something will happen.
In other words, why is this dish still not served, I will be choked to death by plain boiled water.
Xia Yuanling quickly changed the topic: "I wonder what Mr. Shang usually likes to do?"
"I'm usually very busy at work, and occasionally I like to read books when I'm free—"
Oh, found a place to interject.
"Really? I'm reading The Book of Songs recently—"
Xia Yuanling proudly recited the answers taught to him by Zhihu netizens in front of Shang Chuan.
"The reeds (xia) are pale, and the white dew (lou) is frost. The so-called Yiren are on the side of the water."
Shang Chuan frowned, feeling that the matter was not simple.
Elementary school students can recite this poem, Xia Yuanling's deliberate traces are too obvious.
Do you hate yourself so much?Then he will heal him in the same way.
"I heard you like anime?"
Xia Yuanling suddenly had a bad feeling...
"I also like watching anime, and I'm watching "SpongeBob SquarePants" recently."
Hold!He knew it would be like this!
What kind of bereavement friend? Watch anime instead of One Piece Hokage and SpongeBob SquarePants?
"I'm sorry for "Teletubbies" if you didn't say that," Xia Yuanling added, "Of course there's "Garden Baby."
But after calming down, Xia Yuanling noticed something was wrong.
Where have you heard this statement?
"You mean 'walnuts caught in the door can nourish the brain'?" Xia Yuanling turned on his phone and pointed to his answer on Zhihu today and asked Shang Chuan.
Shang Chuan was shocked: "You haven't had enough food for 800 years?"
Grass, I've never heard of a blind date who also lost a horse with her.
Just at this time, the waiter came to serve the food. The two of them smirked and pretended to be amiable. When the food was finished, their smiles froze.
Xia Yuanling spoke first: "I have a showdown. I don't want to be in a relationship or a blind date. My mother forced me to come here."
Shang Chuan is also in a similar situation.
"I'm so bored, two or three phone calls a day, never leaving marriage and love."
"I also want to say that you are not in a hurry now, and no one will ask for it in the future."
"That's right, that's what my mother said." Xia Yuanling put a piece of pork ribs in a bowl, "I took a break after filming for a few days, a total of five days of rest, and my mother arranged more than a dozen blind dates for me. "
"What are you? My mother arranged blind dates for me until the early morning." Shang Chuan sighed. He had never been afraid of anyone in the shopping malls all these years, but he couldn't deal with his own mother.
"You put it that way, I have a pretty good idea to solve our predicament."
"what way?"
He leaned over to listen, the autumn air outside the window was clear and cloudless, and the sun was shining on the two of them through the window.
One side of the face is sunlight, the other side is shadow.
"We both told our parents that we fell in love with each other, and we don't have to go on blind dates in the future. You do your work and I play mine. What do you think?"
Shang Chuan raised his eyebrows, a bit risky, but a good idea.
Falling in love with the young master of the Xia family can always keep their parents' mouths shut.
It's better than asking how to get mad at a blind date every day, and how to avoid being mad at a blind date every day.
"Okay," Shang Chuan smiled, "Then we have a happy cooperation."
"joy."
After dinner, the two bid farewell at the door of the restaurant.
Before leaving, he shook hands, hoping that they could all get out of their current predicament.
Then turned and left, one on the left and one on the right, each took out their mobile phones and explained to their parents.
As soon as Xia's mother got through, she asked, "How does it feel to be on a blind date? I'm not saying that, the son of the Shang family is good, with a good family background and a high degree of education. It's just right for you to be with him."
Xia Yuanling hadn't contacted her mother for a long time, and this was the first time in a long time that the two of them sat down to chat calmly.Xia Yuanling took a deep breath: "It's pretty good, Mom, you can push me away from the rest of my blind dates, I want to get in touch with him more."
"Hey, good, good."
On the other side, Shang Chuan also talked about Xia Yuanling with his parents.
"Xiao Xia is pretty good, he can eat and drink, and is easy to support. I plan to get in touch with him more."
Mother Shang was overjoyed, her son was so picky about someone, finally someone who could see him right.
But what kind of description is it to be easy to feed, isn't there any other advantage!
The author says:
The new article is updated, and the flowers are scattered~~
If you like it, click a favorite! ! ! !Thank you Orz
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