early bird sold out

Xia Zhizhu didn't speak.

He is like a solitary plant growing in the wilderness, standing quietly in the wilderness with strange softness.Obviously the road leading to him is flat, but there are countless polite and polite warning signs along the way.

I'm not good.

I'm no good.

No one will like me.

But the guy who was biting his lip and lettering did not expect that someone would see that he was playing an empty city plan. He led the military dog ​​to dismantle those messy notices one by one and threw them into non-recyclable trash bins by category. Walking up to him, lowering her head, stroking the boy's forehead like a puppy, and telling him in a gentle voice: I like you very much.

He is so nice.

Obviously the whole world loves Xi Zhao, but Xi Zhao said that he only likes Xia Zhizhu.

The sincerity was spread in the palm of the hand and offered with both hands without reservation, Xia Zhizhu looked up blankly, suddenly felt that he was so despicable.

"...Mr. Xi." Stupid Zhuzi is best at answering irrelevant questions.

"Did Wei Mingxi come to look for you?"

I don't know what kind of stories he heard from others, Xia Zhizhu didn't even know how much Xi Zhao knew about himself before he said the phrase "I like you very much".

If Mr. Xi doesn’t know anything, then he’s still cheating for the time being, but if Mr. Xi guesses about—or even all of—it’s still... Xia Zhizhu’s breathing trembled, and suddenly, he suddenly I don't want to hold that bad fire that has been wrapped in paper for more than 20 years anymore.

"five years ago……"

Xi Zhao didn't answer, Xia Zhizhu continued on his own: "Not long after you left Osaka, I also left Natsume's house."

The woman who adopted and took care of him for 14 years was Ruan Mi's former lover. They broke up and reconciled. At that time, the Ruan family's mother and son had an accident on the highway, and the adults in the car died on the spot, but the child who was blocked by her was lucky, only suffered a minor injury of a broken left wrist.

Pregnancy was forced, but Ruan Mi chose to give birth, but...

"But I always felt that my mother actually regretted having me."

The pasture is cool in summer, Xia Zhizhu was blown by the wind and closed his eyes.

"Wei Mingxi...he is my half-brother."

He lowered his head and smiled with difficulty: "His mother is my mother's biological sister."

Xia Zhizhu didn't dare to look at the expressions of the people around him.

The hillside and clear sky in the distance are the pure scenery that he only dared to look at when he was a child. The boy said in an almost ethereal tone: "The whole family is forcing my mother to sleep with my brother-in-law behind her back."

Captivity, coercion, any means.

Just to cure Ruan Mi's disease of liking women.

Xia Zhizhu narrowed his eyes, thinking to himself: Ruan Mi is not sick, but he is.

He is the incarnation of all the things in the world that are sorry to Ruan Mi, and Ruan Mi's sister also went crazy because of this, cut her wrists, and the family was ruined in the end.

So Wei Mingxi hated him, and Yoko didn't want him, it was all normal.

It's not normal to only be liked by Mr. Xi.

The secret was revealed, but breathing was not as easy as imagined.

Xia Zhizhu said it, but his heart seemed to be pulled out with a hole for air leakage, and the mouthless bamboo hidden in it couldn't help but bend over and hunched his back, just to protect the bulging and beating heart in his chest. The fruit that has long been blown by the wind has begun to crumble.

You hear me.

You know who I am.

So, you don't have to say that you like me anymore.

"Have you heard her say it?" Xi Zhao asked.

Xia Zhizhu shook his head: "What did you say?"

Xi Zhao: "Have you heard your mother say that she regrets giving birth to you?"

Xia Zhizhu squeezed his palms and shook his head in confusion.

Xi Zhao looked at him and said seriously: "Then she has no regrets."

Just such a sentence is too convincing, Xi Zhao thought for a while, and added: "In the seat of a small car, in the event of an accident, the risk factor of the driver is 100, and the risk factor of the co-driver is 101, except that the buffer zone is short In addition, the biggest reason is that the driver will instinctively protect himself. But in some cases, the person sitting in the main driving seat will subconsciously rush himself into danger."

"..."

Xia Zhizhu twitched the corners of his mouth, his nose became sour instantly, and his voice trembled unreasonably: "I sat in the back row with her."

"It was just an example."

Xi Zhao raised his hand to cover Xia Zhizhu's drooping eyelids when he turned his face sideways.

Boys seldom cry, at least he has never seen it before, and at this moment Xi Zhao just tacitly pretended not to notice the wetness in his palm, and said quietly: "I want to say that people will subconsciously cry at the moment of danger. Protect yourself, but mothers will always protect their babies first."

He didn't even know Ruan Mi.

He is coaxing me.

He is lying to me.

But for some reason, the thoughts that had been fixed in my heart for nearly 20 years suddenly shook for a moment.

Xia Zhizhu was at a loss and thought quietly: Is it possible that my mother loves me?

"Anything else?"

"……Um?"

"Other than that, do you have any concerns?"

Xi Zhao's tone was very light and steady, as if he truly regarded those unbearable events that made Yoko fall down the steps in horror and made Wei Mingxi want to eat his flesh and blood as the most common helplessness in the world little things.

Man cannot determine his own origin.

From the moment Xia Zhizhu was born, he was a mermaid trapped in the air bubbles at the bottom of the pond. He could neither have a memory of only seven seconds like the fish with dead eyes around him, nor could he walk on the shore calmly. Mortal world.

Man cannot determine his own origin.

But he is a little monster in human form, not accepted by any group, and can only walk alone on the edge of the inner world and the outer world.

"The temple fair five years ago..."

The corners of the lips that could not be covered by the man's palm slightly raised, Xia Zhizhu said with a smile: "The seventh stall we passed by is for catching goldfish, the owner is an uncle with deep smile lines, and a paper net is [-] yen , I only had time to catch one before the net broke. I took it home and kept it in the tank, and two weeks later in the morning, I woke up and found that the belly of the fish had turned white."

What he said was inexplicable, like unrestrained gibberish, but the combination of each sentence was enough to make the listener's eyes gradually freeze.

"After I returned to China, I participated in the talent show. The location was in a closed space transformed from an abandoned factory building on an island. There were 97 contestants participating with me, and there were more staff members. There were 203 permanent people. I remember the appearance of each of them. , name, dormitory number, performance repertoire and post-match rating. If you ask me about a staff member now, I can tell you absolutely truthfully what dish he gave me for lunch on a certain day.”

"Xia..." Xi Zhao opened his mouth, but as if his tongue had been pinched out, he couldn't utter a word.

Xia Zhizhu took two steps back.

He had his hands behind his back, and there were still tears on his face that he could not wipe away in the future, but the boy still smiled: "Mr. Xi, when I am standing here and looking at you, the past is also crowded in front of me." 19 years of my entire life."

His childhood was too short, it ended at the age of four.

Xi Zhao's hand was still in the air, and it seemed that he was even trembling slightly.

Xia Zhizhu raised his arm and stretched it out in front of him, his slender fingers bloomed like a flower, allowing him to squint to see the horses and Dobermans in the distance through his fingers.

"I'm nearsighted without glasses," he said.

Those details that have been hidden from Xia Zhizhu's eyes for many years are trivial, dull, and huge in number. A small inadvertent opportunity may set off a silent avalanche in that thin chest, blowing him layer by layer, layer by layer, and so on. Buried alive layer by layer.

Have you ever tried laying on the beach and playing sand making games?

You lie on the bottom of the pit, and the invisible toy shovel tirelessly pushes the fine sand onto you. At first, you wake up every morning to flick it and stand up.But gradually, the sand will cover your knees and chest... In the middle of the night when you wake up, you will suddenly find that you can no longer breathe, and it is even more impossible to break free and escape.

Xia Zhizhu's eyes are always foggy.

It is because he has to exert all his strength almost every moment to push away the thick books piled up with sand, and at the same time he has to be careful not to be hit by a tome that falls from a certain shelf. It hurts my head - just standing in front of everyone stupidly and nonchalantly has already consumed too much energy of Xia Zhizhu.

He doesn't know if his future self will gradually lose his memory like a normal person, or if he can only continue to add another calendar to his luggage in the long course of his life before the beginning of each new day heavy stele.Alzheimer's disease, Alzheimer's disease...God knows how many times Xia Zhizhu envied those patients who had forgotten who they were when they woke up breathless and huddled at the end of the bed in a daze at night.

He lived in such pain that he didn't even know if he could love someone wholeheartedly.

It hurts to tear off the scar, but Xia Zhizhu's injury has never been fortunate enough to scab.

And maybe it was already numb from the pain, standing still on the hillside, for some reason, he suddenly let go of the pent-up qi that had been pent up in his heart for a long time.

Although he himself seemed to be dissipating like the gas.

"I can remember everything in my life, Mr. Xi."

If you remember it, you will never forget it.

until you die

Probably, until I die.

The red-haired boy turned his head in the wind with his hands behind his back, and his eyes were bent like the moon to look at his sweetheart.

He smiled softly and asked, "Are you really going to come into my life?"

It was obviously a gentle and tender sentence, and it should be an invitation, but this light but heavy confession that made people kneel down was like his last talisman, stronger than all previous retreats and persuasion combined , I wish I could block the personality trying to get close to a thousand miles away from the mountain at the moment of asking.

Xi Zhao even suddenly felt that Xia Zhizhu's figure was so light that he was about to float away into the clouds.

Xi Zhao used to fly kites when he was young.

The kite flies very high, and the string is very tight.

It's getting tighter.

But his mother, who was watching him, didn't allow him to let go.

So Xi Zhao could only watch helplessly as the paper bird finally broke free from the ropes that bound freedom, and plunged into the blue sky, wilderness, and garbage dump that he could not see without regret——Xi Zhao once put the little bird to death. As my sustenance, I only hope that it will fly as high and far as possible.

But at this moment, when the shaft of the kite was put into his palm again, Xi Zhao suddenly stepped forward and grabbed Xia Zhizhu's wrist.

Carefully avoiding the position where he was injured 19 years ago, he lowered his head, and with the strength of Yi's bow in mythology, he mercilessly knocked down the little fairy who tried to swallow the elixir and enter the moon palace.

Xi Zhao's arm was locked behind the boy's slender waist, and the man over 1.9 meters tall lowered his head and pressed it against Xia Zhizhu's ear. The moment he passed the end with his fingertips, he grasped it in the palm of his hand very naturally.

His tone was steady as if Homer was reciting a prophecy: "Then you'd better remember what happened next for the rest of your life."

Next?

Next, the long eyelashes are intertwined.

The collie bowed his head and kissed his sheep.