Asahi

He Lianci leaned on the soft pillow and watched Xu Chen vent in silence.

He closed his eyes for a while, and didn't speak until the crying faded away.

Q: "Are you still together?"

After getting an affirmative answer, I said, "Let's break up."

Xu Chen cried for a while, his expression was a little empty, but the depression in his heart didn't get better.

Crying is useless, he has cried many times for that person, and he has never been happy after crying.His emotions are affecting others.

"It's not that simple." Xu Chen murmured, "Breakup...it's not just a touch of upper and lower lips, and we can separate after finishing speaking."

He Lianci wanted to smoke again, he reminded Xu Chen.

"It's not easy, and it's not as difficult as you think."

"Since you heard what I said with those two people by the flower bed - the man didn't choose his girlfriend, they broke up, and his girlfriend knew he didn't love her - you should also understand that you said you did Man, he chose the family in you and the family, and he made the choice."

"You are the one who was abandoned. Breaking up is not difficult for him, it's just that you find it difficult."

He Lianci had never talked with Xu Chen like this before, and said so many things.When Xu Chen heard it for the first time, because his heart was blocked and his mind was empty, he also forgot that he took the initiative to talk to He Lianci, and wanted to refute in a depressed mood.

"I find it difficult." He said, "But it's also... But it's also he who keeps keeping me, keeps saying he loves me, it seems he has no other choice."

He Lianci stated the facts: "He didn't choose you."

Now that the choice has been made, the false love words and greedy retention are just pretense.Those who are trapped in it will be reluctant to part with it, and those who are watching will feel disgusted at a glance.

Xu Chen understood, and lowered his head weakly.

"But..." He murmured to himself in a hoarse voice: "How can it be done? How can we break up cleanly?"

Can people's feelings be broken as soon as they say it?If he could, he wouldn't have chased a man who was his mentor for so long in the first place.How can you easily bear the price of losing when you finally get it?

Xu Chen is not a fool, he understands the truth of Helian Temple's persuasion deep down in his heart, but it is too difficult to let go emotionally.

The two men are in a teacher-student relationship, so it can be said that they have an unethical love.Xu Chen didn't tell anyone else about this relationship, he and He Lianci were clearly not familiar with each other, but he suddenly told everything.It may be because he heard the privacy of Helian Temple by the flower bed, or it may be that he is subconsciously asking for help, and he needs someone to tell him what he knows.

Because it is not easy for a person to fight against his own feelings, and he will make many excuses when the facts are in front of him.He couldn't let it go, couldn't break it, and wanted to give him a hand personally.

Xu Chen squeezed the beer can in his hand, making a rattling sound.

His eyes were blank, and he made noise unconsciously. He Lianci had a headache from the noise, so he asked him to be quiet.

Xu Chen looked over when he heard the words, and his sight became focused after the Crane Temple appeared in his vision.His eyes were heavy, his mind was too mixed, and all the overflowing things fell in his eyes, and with this glance, they also fell on He Lianci.

"How do you do it?" he asked.

Crouching on the bed, He Lianci looked at him, and had to wipe his face and sit up under this gaze.He only wore a long black vest on his upper body, his strong muscles bulged like mountains against his bones, his long legs were coiled under the quilt, and a bare arm was casually resting on the edge of the bed.

"I have nothing to tell you." He Lianci said, "I will follow my heart."

Xu Chen was immediately confused: "Follow your heart? If you follow your heart, I will definitely still..."

He Lianci interrupted him calmly: "My heart is myself."

Xu Chen was stunned.

"I only do things for my own pleasure, live a little more of myself, and put myself in a higher position."

He Lianci raised his hand: "Give me a bottle of wine."

Xu Chen subconsciously obeyed, and threw the can of beer left in the plastic bag over.He Lianci put his fingers around the pull ring, exerted a slight force on his wrist, and the muscles on his arm flexed accordingly, and the beer can opened.

He raised his head and took a sip of the wine, his Adam's apple rose and fell.Seeing his coherent movements, Xu Chen thought of many rumors about him.

On the surface, he is a male god and a top student.

In private, it was rumored that she had a lot of fun, took different people to bed every day, had a high vision, and chose a girlfriend like an emperor choosing a concubine.

"I can't learn." Xu Chen was unwilling in the comparison, and in the unwillingness was hopeless grievance: "My heart belongs to someone else, and I can only be happy when I am with him."

"Aren't you still together now?"

He Lianci pinched the wine bottle and asked, "Are you happy?"

Xu Chen was silent for a while.

"That's not the case," he said. "And I'm not happy to be parted from him."

But He Lianci said: "Anyway, you are not happy, why don't you choose something that is more cost-effective?"

Xu Chen looked over, and He Lianci looked at him.

"You can't get anything from being with him now except being unhappy, and you have to bear the consequences that will affect your future after being exposed. Although you are separated, although you are unhappy, at least you still have self-esteem."

He Lianci looked into his eyes and asked, "Do you have no self-esteem at all?"

There is still a big difference between scolding yourself for being cheap and others scolding yourself.

Xu Chen seemed to have been pricked by a needle. The effects of shame and alcohol were mixed, and his fair face turned red.

"You seem to take self-esteem very seriously." He whispered, "There is no such thing in love."

"is it?"

He Lianci smiled and said, "Love without self-esteem is worthless."

Xu Chen pursed his lips, and suddenly asked: "You think so, so today that boy begged you, and you didn't agree?"

He seems to want to defend his love, he speaks faster, and his emotions are a little intense: "I admire his courage-you think he has no self-esteem, and he will chase you even after abandoning his girlfriend. But have you ever thought that if he has no self-esteem Exuberant, stop talking about feelings with you, he will never have the chance to be with you."

He said so much, but He Lianci didn't show any expression of being shaken.

Instead, he asked, "Do you think he has a chance now?"

"If you don't ask for it, you definitely don't have it." Xu Chen insisted: "Just like me, maybe the posture we pursue is as ugly, but it is because of this ugly appearance that I let go of my self-esteem that I have it."

He Lianci looked at him quietly and asked, "Do you have it?"

His voice was low and light, as gentle as a tide, but it easily melted Xu Chen's dream when it reached Xu Chen's feet.

Xu Chen took a hard breath: "...At least I used to have it."

After answering like this, Xu Chen couldn't help recalling the scenes of getting along with that person day and night.The time they have really been together is too short, only two months—the other party has not divorced in these two months—the sweetness of the past is now inexplicably like old graffiti, and the colorful colors are dried and peeled off, leaving only Craggy gray walls.

Xu Chen thought in a daze, this is what I once had.

Deep in his heart, he began to question what he had gained, and his eyes touched He Lianci's face, and he opened his lips.Fear arose in my heart, and the fingertips holding the wine bottle trembled slightly.

Crane Lianci did not question his "possession".

"Maybe." He Lianci just said: "The self-esteem you left behind was exchanged for temporary happiness and the current situation, and you must persevere to pay for this happiness. I will not make this choice."

After he finished speaking, he raised his head and drank the wine in his hand, and crushed the beer can with his palm.With a lift and a throw, the beer can fell into the trash can beside the table.

Xu Chen looked at him, and suddenly felt that He Lianci's actions seemed like he was treating his feelings, if they were classified as garbage, they could be easily thrown away.

"Aren't you reluctant?" Thinking this way in his heart, Xu Chen asked like this: "I know that boy today is called Chen Zhidong, don't you feel reluctant to him at all?"

"What do you think we are related to?"

He Lianci looked at him: "You know his name, haven't you heard anything about me and him?"

Thanks to the live broadcast at the end of this farce, the entanglement between Chen Zhidong and him was widely spread in the gay circle of Z.

Xu Chen also knew something about it, but alcohol magnified his emotions and sensibility took the high ground.With red eyes, he asked stubbornly: "He is not your ex-boyfriend, so you are so calm... What if he is? If you were in a relationship, and then something happened later, and he did something wrong, you just Break up? Wouldn't you be reluctant?"

"It's useless to be reluctant." He Lianci's eyes were calm: "No matter how reluctant you are, you can score."

Strong self-esteem, egoism - they may not bring the sweet fruit of love, but also put an end to the pain of procrastination.

Crane Temple is a leader in implementing this approach.

Xu Chen shook his head, as if to define the results of the experiment: "You didn't really like him or have been with him before, that's why you said that."

Hearing this, He Lianci laughed.

The light from the other side of the bedroom spreads softly to the side of the bed.Leaning lazily against the wall, he said to Xu Chen.

"Do you think I've never taken the initiative or chased anyone?"

"Senior, do you really think I've never been in love?"

...

All the lights were out, and empty bottles were stuffed in the trash.There was the sound of unsteady breathing after drinking from the bed on the opposite side, and Xu Chen fell asleep.

Their conversation ended when He Lianci revealed his love history, and Xu Chen's self-consolation of "you haven't loved so you don't understand" was broken.He Lianci finally said two words to Xu Chen who had tears in his eyes, one was to be nice to himself, and the other was good night.

The smoke in the evening, a can of beer and emotional counseling made He Lianci fall into a deep sleep for two hours.

At one o'clock in the morning, he was awakened by the vibration of his mobile phone.

I was too sleepy before going to bed and forgot to turn off the phone.He Lianci frowned, squinting to see who was disturbing people's dreams in the middle of the night, and the finger stuck on the screen had already pressed the pull black button out of inertia.

Two seconds later, Crane Temple's movements stopped.He stroked his face vigorously, walked to the door with his mobile phone, and opened the bedroom door.

Outside the door, the young master with golden curly hair hooked his shoulder with one hand, showing a confident and bright smile.

"He'er, I knew you weren't asleep yet!"