Love on the left bank, you on the right bank

I looked up at the third floor of the record store. I couldn't see the scenery clearly through the blurry window, just as I couldn't see the teacher's mood clearly. It was similar.The bicycle was parked by the door, I walked in, greeted the clerk with a smile, and walked slowly towards the stairs.

"I want to find a girl in the vast crowd, and then protect her. 』

Step one, indecision.

"I will accompany her in the long night, reflecting each other, so that she no longer feels lonely. 』

The second step is to walk on thin ice.

"I want to lend her my light and let her shine with her own light.The journey in the future is long, and I only hope that I can be by my side. 』

The third step is to be sure.

"Don't go to a high place, go to a place that suits you. 』

The fourth step is to be uneasy and fearful.

"You look so much like her, I'm not even sure... if I really love you. 』

Walking up the stairs slowly step by step, every step reminds me of all kinds of happiness that the teacher gave me; every step, walking so slowly and lonely.

I used to think that what was held tightly by both hands was love, but it was an illusion that it slipped away after being loosened.

Taking a deep breath, I fixed my eyes on the woman sitting by the window, the sunlight was a bit dazzling, and the ambiguous sweetness at that time suddenly emerged, almost making my heart sore.

Back then, did we ever imagine what the future would look like?

The teacher turned to look at me and waved to me.I walked slowly towards her step by step, as if I was approaching the core of something, the sense of complexity gradually pushed me towards the towering cliff──

"Very punctual." The teacher smiled slightly. I don't know if it was my illusion or what... The late autumn in my eyes seemed to be more tired under the sunshine, "It's the same as Ting Yu."

My smile froze there.

The teacher looked at me quietly, with far-reaching eyes, as if looking at me and thinking about something. "Ting Yu and I met in this record store. We worked here three times a year, and she was a frequent customer in the store. After I was in high school, I found out that she was a Chinese teacher in high school. After that, our relationship became closer and closer. getting closer."

A few steps away, too far away for me to touch.

Ignoring my bewilderment, the teacher continued: "She is confused and cute, and she is scary enough to be serious. She is very good to students, enthusiastic and lively in teaching. She is a very popular teacher in the school. Everyone loves her." I like her, including me." She sighed softly, "My strength is mathematics, for her I also read Chinese to the best, and even acted as her little teacher."

The look on the teacher's face made me want to turn around and run away from all this cruelty.

Her expression was happiness, the kind I had never seen before.

"I still remember you when I was a child." The teacher stretched out his hand and gently pulled my wrist, with a sincere tone, "You are only eight years old, just like your mother, with a pair of sincere eyes that make people irresistible. Yes When I met Ting Yu, she had a family and even brought you to school, I liked to hug you and make you laugh, you are a child who loves to laugh."

"That's enough..." I heard my voice trembling, "Stop talking...that's enough!" I yelled sadly, and when I was about to turn around and run away, the teacher forced me back.I struggled desperately, the teacher pressed me hard, and said in a cold tone, "I broke the precept first, and I fell in love with the teacher who must never fall in love first."

I cried softly, letting the tears fall.

"In the second year of high school and the third year of high school, Ting Yu cooked a table of dishes at home and invited some of us students to dinner, saying that he wanted to cheer us up. Everyone had a good time, and I deliberately helped clean up the tableware and left until the end. ...No, it should be said that I did not leave that night...」

My heart was half cold, I pushed the teacher away hard, but fell into her arms again, "I hugged her... I had sex on the bed in your room."

I'm stunned!

"In the era when teacher-student love was tantamount to murder and arson, we fell in love, but we also separated tragically."

I quietly nestled in her arms and said coldly: "Have you finished? Why are you so cruel to me...why are you doing this..."

The teacher slowly let go of his hand, and said calmly, "If you are still willing to accept me, let's start over..."

I always feel that this let go, each other is holding a huge bet.I wiped away my tears indiscriminately, and stood up slowly, but I felt dizzy for a while, which even made me feel nauseous.

Dragging my heavy body, I smiled slightly, "Teacher, what is love?" I turned my head, my eyes trembled, and my tone was unstable, "For me...love is in others, seeing Own."

"But the current self is so unbearable..."

I smiled, and the moment I turned around, the smile also slipped.

As soon as I opened the door, Uncle Zhang immediately came out to greet me.I lowered my head and dragged off my shoes and said, "Uncle Zhang, tidy up the guest room for me."

"Guest room? Is there any guest coming to stay?"

"No." I put the shoes in the shoe cabinet and kept calm, "I want to change the room to the guest room. Then, keep the bed in the room, and everything else can be moved to the guest room."

Uncle Zhang frowned slightly, but still nodded in agreement, "Okay, I will fix it as soon as possible...but...what's wrong with you, Si Ting?"

"It's nothing, I just wanted to change the room suddenly. Let's move tomorrow! Uncle Zhang, thank you for your hard work." After exchanging a few words, I went back to the room, closed the door, and sat on the ground looking at the room.

The throbbing heartbeat that night was still so clear, but do you want me to accept such a cruel fact... I laughed a few times, buried half of my face in my arms, and meditated.

I stood up and lay on the bed, quietly looking at the half-empty bed, suddenly feeling sad.

I am so silly.

After sleeping in the same bed with the teacher that night, I always looked at the empty bed and giggled, feeling extremely sweet in my heart.Now, is it just the teacher reliving an old relationship with another woman?

And me, it just so happens.

I closed my eyes and instantly understood that it was all a...

... a big joke.

The moment the call was connected, I knew what "numbness" was.When you are too sad about some people, things and things, and then start to fall into a kind of empty emotion, and gradually you can't feel what pain is...

...it's time for you to speak.

"You Yun. ’ It seemed to be the first time I called her name so tiredly, ‘Yes, I do. ’ And I hung up the phone and turned to sleep in my very cherished bed.

Now where the atrium is filled by the teacher, I need to fill the emptiness in my heart by myself.

Even if you hurt me like this, I still can't bear to be separated from you.

Even if the night is long and I can no longer see the stars, I am still willing to plunge myself into the endless dark abyss, put on a mask with you, and live in the cruel reality.

If you love her so deeply, then I will abandon myself and become what you love──

──Become Su Tingyu, my mother