I really don't like you anymore

After Fang Yang finished speaking, he shook his head and left, leaving only Yan Feihang standing there quietly.

Yan Feihang didn't quite know how to describe the feeling in his heart at that moment, as if a huge pendulum appeared out of thin air, hammering straight at his heart, while his heart was shocked, he also felt all kinds of things mixed together. Emotions, there is joy, but there is also panic.

Xi Xinghai doesn't have a boyfriend, which means that he can pursue him with confidence - he doesn't need to worry about those obstacles (to be honest, he thinks Pei Ruifan is quite threatening), and he doesn't need to have any moral burden. He only needs to care about Xi Xinghai's feelings.

But at the same time, Xi Xinghai didn't have a boyfriend, yet he was terrified by the fact that he misunderstood that he and Pei Ruifan were a couple without explaining it.

When he went abroad seven years ago, Xi Xinghai confided in him his youthful love, but he treated him as a pervert and humiliated him wantonly.

Seven years later, when he returned to China, Xi Xinghai worked and lived in a well-regulated manner, but he still took the opportunity to presumptuously make assumptions and wantonly abuse him.

Xi Xinghai couldn't stand himself so he moved.

Xi Xinghai didn't want to be pestered by him, so he fabricated a boyfriend out of thin air.

……

In the past, Xi Xinghai worked under his own hands, and because of his status, he had no choice but to pretend to cater to him.

Now Xi Xinghai has been fired by himself. Although he lost his job, he also lost his burden.

He doesn't need to look at his own face anymore, and he doesn't need to pretend any more - he can bluntly refuse if he doesn't want to let himself into the house, he can let the phone keep ringing if he doesn't want to answer his phone, he doesn't want to hear his voice, let alone see himself In front of him... A good game of chess back then was played by him like this, and Yan Feihang began to wonder if his brain was not as useful as he imagined?

If possible, he would like to trade everything he has now for a time machine, travel back to the airport seven years ago, and strangle the self who has not had time to curse.

It's a pity that the sky didn't go as planned, the weather was fine tonight, there was no wind, no rain, and no thunder or lightning, -- crossing was impossible, Yan Feihang drove onto the elevated road.

At 11:30 in the night, there was no one on the elevated road, and the street lamps with thin feet were quickly swept back. Yan Feihang stepped on the accelerator and drove aimlessly in the endless night, but in his mind, like a fleeting light, many people from the same class as Xi Xinghai flashed through his mind. related screen.

He thought that his liking for Xi Xinghai should have been a clue a long time ago, but he refused to admit it, unwilling to think deeply, so he never explored the meaning behind some events.

The first time I saw Xi Xinghai was during the summer vacation of my freshman year.That afternoon, when he returned home after playing basketball, he saw the door of Grandma Zhang's house across the street was open. He looked over and met the boy's clear and bright eyes.

At that time, Xi Xinghai was less than 15 years old, not as tall as he is now, and slightly thinner than now.

At that time, he had just moved to S City, and he had not yet turned into the thorny boy he would later become. ...He shaved his hair very short, revealing a smooth forehead and clear eyes.He was wearing a baggy white T-shirt, knee-length denim shorts, and perfectly scoured white sneakers.

His smile was clean, his eyes were bright, his voice was fresh and full of youthful air, he called his brother, and handed himself a piece of chocolate.

At that time, Yan Feihang looked at him dumbly, and took the simple package of chocolate from his hand in a daze.The moment Yan Feihang put the chocolate into his mouth, a drizzle of early spring fell in Yan Feihang's heart, and the cool wind blew across his heart, making his restless heart calm.

He thought that if his head was clear enough at that time, or if he was willing to stop and think a little more, maybe he would be able to realize that it was described in the book, the soul was hit by something, and then he was touched by something. Confused feeling.

For a long period of time later, Yan Feihang would return to Xingfu Road community for various reasons, and was also fortunate to be able to witness Xi Xinghai's entire transformation process.

To be honest, aside from the fights and drinking, Yan Feihang doesn't think the rebellious Xi Xinghai is an eyesore, and even has a corner in his heart, he has always admired and looked forward to seeing more rebellious and flamboyant Xi Xinghai, ——Although he is well-behaved, he is lovable, but he is rebellious, and he will give people a desire for tyranny and conquest from the bottom of their hearts.

Of course, these desires exist only in dreams and thoughts that pop up inadvertently at 03:30 in the morning.

Drinking and smoking is not good, and fighting is even more undesirable, so Yan Feihang, like everyone else, still hopes that the young man will come back from his lost way and repent in a rational and normal state.

Some people's sexual consciousness awakens very early, and they can perceive hazy sexual pleasure at a very young age.Others will be a little later.Yan Feihang belongs to the latter.And very unfortunately belonged to a small group of the latter,--the very, very late group.

He learned to masturbate in the first semester of his freshman year, and he had his first crush in the summer vacation of his freshman year. When he was 27 or [-] years old, he finally understood that the feeling at that time was heartbeat, and he understood what it was like to feel heartbeat. Being aware of my sexuality...may not be what the public expects it to be.

He recalled his first intimate contact with Xi Xinghai.

It was a weekend when he was in his junior year of school. He returned to Xingfu Road Community and learned that Xi Xinghai had once again caused a catastrophe.

The disaster this time seems to be more serious than every previous one. The caller was not the school teacher or the parents of the students, but the police from the district police station.

Putting down the phone, Xi Xinghai's grandmother continued to pick vegetables, as if nothing had happened, but Yan Feihang who passed by couldn't hold back, "Grandma Zhang, aren't you going to pick Xi Xinghai back?"

Grandma Zhang smiled at him, "If children don't learn some lessons, they won't have a good memory."

Having said that, Yan Feihang doesn't think that the detention center is suitable as a life lesson for rebellious teenagers, nor does he think that a laissez-faire attitude is conducive to the physical and mental health of teenagers.He returned home with a heavy heart, sat on the sofa for a while, and finally grabbed the key and went out.

After signing the bond, he brought the boy who had gotten into trouble out of the detention center.

He didn't expect Xi Xinghai to cry, and he didn't expect Xi Xinghai to cry so badly, but when the young man wiped his tears on his shoulders, besides being surprised and distressed, he also felt something strange about him. A reaction that should not have occurred.

It is also very strange to say that before today, he had never connected these two things:

—— Xi Xinghai hugged him, his head was hot.

—— Xi Xinghai rubbed his neck, and he had a physiological reaction.

Now that I think about it, I am really embarrassed. He was crying so badly, but he only thought about that matter.

……

The sudden ringing of the phone interrupted his thoughts. He pressed the answer button and heard Ms. Xu's voice.Ms. Xu asked him if the blind date went well tonight. He thought for a while and asked Ms. Xu, "Do you know where Xi Xinghai is now?"

When he asked Ms. Xu this question, he did not expect to get the answer he wanted.

It seems that a lost person will mark every big tree he encounters on the way. He asked Ms. Xu this question entirely out of his own comfort-he must do something to make himself feel better.

But unexpectedly, Ms. Xu answered.

Ms. Xu, this big tree, actually led him to his final destination.

how to say?Only mother is good in the world?