Too much

The light in the bathroom was blindingly white, and Shen Zeming's body was as cold as ice. A long time had passed, but fresh blood was still gushing out from the wound on his wrist, and it almost seemed to squeeze his thin body dry.

Qi Jingchen felt chills down his back, his legs seemed to be nailed in place, and he couldn't move a step forward.After a long time, he pinched his palms hard, took a deep breath, knelt in the overwhelming bloody smell, and shook his hands to feel the pulse on the side of Shen Zeming's neck.

One second, two seconds, three seconds... The warm and lively beating is silent at this moment.

The severe chill suddenly pierced through the limbs and bones, and the chest seemed to be full of iron blocks. Qi Jingchen's eyes turned white, and the eardrums were filled with sharp and piercing buzzing, and his internal organs seemed to be collapsing rapidly, passing through the bones, and Broken on the ground.

At this second, the world seemed to be paused, and the surroundings became quiet. Qi Jingchen seemed to have lost all senses. He knelt down by the bathtub and looked at Shen Zeming with a dull expression, with water stains gradually overflowing from the corners of his eyes.

Some fragments flashed through his mind, Qi Jingchen forced himself to calm down, he bent down and carried Shen Zeming out of the bathtub, untied the tie on his chest and wrapped it tightly around Shen Zeming's cut right upper arm, lowered his head to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation.

a bit.

Twice.

Three times.

……

After an unknown amount of time, Qi Jingchen's hands were hanging limply by his side, his eyes were red and terribly red, and his whole person showed a kind of crazy silence.

He bent down expressionlessly, as if treating a handful of spring snow, and gently lifted Shen Zeming into his arms, interlocking his fingers and touching his forehead, just like every kiss before, with some kind of obsessive temptation, Rubbing his pale and cold lips.

no respond.

There will be no more responses.

Big drops of tears fell on Shen Zeming's face, Qi Jingchen buried himself in Shen Zeming's neck, like a wounded beast, his whole body trembled violently, and painful sobs were suppressed in his throat.

until the ambulance arrived.

Shen Zeming was pushed into the emergency room.

The bright red indicator light above his head lit up, and the word "in operation" was extremely eye-catching. Qi Jingchen stood at the door in a daze, unable to tell whether the bright red light was the light or the color of blood.

He stared at the two closed doors as if in a world away, gradually isolating him and Shen Zeming completely.

The empty hospital corridors are so lonely.He leaned numbly against the wall, mechanically touched a cigarette and bit it in his mouth, the flames burned in his eyes, shaking tremblingly.

Couldn't light it at all.

Qi Jingchen's hands were shaking so much that he couldn't hold the lighter.The scorching tongue of flame rolled around his fingers, but he didn't seem to realize it until there was a "呲", and there was a burning pain in his thumb, and he accidentally threw the lighter as if he had just woken up from a dream.

It hurts so much.

But he couldn't tell whether it was the burning pain of his fingers or the pain of the heart curled up in his chest.

Qi Jingchen hung his head wearily, and his body slid down as if he couldn't hold on. He sat on the ground against the cold wall, his head buried in his knees, and the hand on the ground almost bleeds.

It was so cold, the water temperature in the bathtub was almost below zero, and there was so much blood, how could Shen Zeming bear it?A fruit knife is so sharp, how painful it must be to cut the skin, how can Shen Zeming bear it?

He didn't dare to close his eyes, for fear that Shen Zeming's figure lying in a pool of blood would be in front of him the moment he closed his eyes.

A long time ago, he had thought that if Shen Zeming wanted to abandon him again, he would turn him into an obedient corpse just like that cat, and stay by his side forever.

But when he personally felt Shen Zeming's temperatureless body soaked in a pool of blood, the pulse that was no longer beating under his palm, and his pale and cold lips.

Qi Jingchen suddenly realized that he didn't want to, and couldn't accept Shen Zeming's death.

He wished him a good life.

It doesn't matter whether you care about him or abandon him, as long as he lives.

As long as Shen Zeming is alive.

The passing nurse gave him a sympathetic look, thought for a while, and returned to the medical guidance desk, took a cup of hot water from a paper cup and put it next to him, and said a few words of relief in a warm voice. Seeing that he didn't respond, she had to leave with a sigh.

The heat rising from the edge of the paper cup gradually dissipated in the air, and the cooled cup body stood alone on the metal seat. After 120 long minutes, the closed door of the operating room finally opened a crack.

Qi Jingchen's eyelids trembled, and he hurriedly stood up and walked over, but he kept the same posture for a long time, his legs were so numb that he almost lost consciousness, he staggered and almost fell after he stood up and took a few steps.

The assistant who came out with the doctor quickly supported him, Qi Jingchen didn't bother to thank him, his lips trembled a few times, but found that he couldn't speak.

"Fortunately, it was delivered in time, and the patient is fine, but he lost a lot of blood and needs to rest in bed in the short term." The sweaty doctor took off his mask, paused and added: "Don't irritate the patient any more, you must rest well, He's a little bit anemic."

The realization that "Shen Zeming is fine" was like a reassurance. Qi Jingchen's whole body relaxed, and he leaned against the wall as if he could not support his tense back. Voice: "Thank you."

While speaking, Shen Zeming had been pushed out, his face was as pale as paper, his right hand was wrapped in layers of gauze, and his left hand was tucked into the quilt for drips. Although he was still weak, he no longer looked like a lifeless corpse.

Qi Jingchen stared intently at Shen Zeming's slightly heaving chest and the dripping liquid from the infusion bag, which were signs of life.

But not enough.He curled his fingers, stepped forward to stop the cart, and carefully put his hand towards Shen Zeming's nose.

A weak but warm breath.

Qi Jingchen's heart immediately flooded with the joy of the rest of his life after the catastrophe, he completely relaxed, his feet were weak and he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

Shen Zeming has been in a coma for two days.Doctors said he was just weak and would wake up in two or three days.

The monitor next to the hospital bed was running smoothly, and the broken line symbolizing life fluctuated slowly, but Qi Jingchen was still worried, he only took some time to go home at noon yesterday to change his clothes and took some things from Shen Zeming along the way.

Besides, Qi Jingchen spent almost 24 hours in the ward, sitting on the chair beside the bed, staring long and greedily at Shen Zeming.

The nurse who didn't know laughed and joked that their brothers had such a good relationship. Qi Jingchen pondered for a while, then gently held Shen Zeming's hand hidden under the quilt, and said in a low voice, "He is my lover."

The nurse was taken aback, and then apologized to him with some embarrassment.However, within a few days, the news that the handsome escort of the twelve-bed patient was his lover spread throughout the inpatient department.Qi Jingchen just smiled when he heard the words, and didn't explain much.

On the third day, after the routine examination, the doctor asked Qi Jingchen to go to the doctor's office uncharacteristically.

After closing the door, the doctor pushed the glasses, and handed him a stack of printed medical records and laboratory tests, "This is the medical records and laboratory tests that Mr. Shen has visited in the hematology department of our hospital in recent years. I think it is necessary for you to understand the physical condition and mental state."

Qi Jingchen didn't speak, took it and read it carefully.

The earliest year of lab order dates back a decade, while the most recent happened just last month.But regardless of the length of time, each list without exception points to one thing: Shen Zeming has been giving Shen Zelin continuous blood transfusions since ten years ago or even longer, [-] milliliters per month.

The medical records of some years even clearly marked "due to the needs of the recipient, accompanied by hospitalization for adjuvant treatment for three months", "blood replacement surgery", "recommended to eat more blood-enriching food", and so on.

That's why Shen Zeming was anemic, and that's why he fainted in his arms because of hypoglycemia and anemia at that time, and that's why he was frightened and fainted for no reason when he saw Peng Qu's head covered in blood. Mr. Lai called Shen Zeming and sent some urging text messages with a bad tone and seemed very thoughtless.

Qi Jingchen tightly squeezed the stack of papers in his hand, and he didn't even notice that the paper was as sharp as a knife cut his fingers.After a long silence, he stood up holding the stack of A4 papers that smelled like ink, and said solemnly, "I see, thank you for telling me this."

Coming out of the doctor's office, Qi Jingchen didn't go back to the ward in a hurry, but took out Shen Zeming's mobile phone. Since he was imprisoned, he has carried all the communication devices of Shen Zeming with him.

He opened the text message interface and stared at the dozens of text messages sent by Song Lan and Shen Zelin for a while, then imitated Shen Zeming's tone and sent Shen Zelin a text message.

Shen Zelin replied almost instantly. Although his tone was harsh, he agreed to what he mentioned in the text message.

When Qi Jingchen returned to the ward, it happened that the nurse came out after changing the infusion bag, and the two met face to face. The nurse nodded and smiled at Qi Jingchen, and walked away with the empty infusion bag.

Worried that Shen Zeming would be disturbed, Qi Jingchen changed Shen Zeming's ward to a single room on the night after the operation.

At this time, the ward was quiet and silent, and the morning sun shone through the thin gauze curtain on Shen Zeming's body, dyeing the fine hair on his face golden.Qi Jingchen walked over slowly, leaned over and took Shen Zeming's left hand, and gently pulled up the sleeve of the hospital gown.

Sure enough, there were many small needle holes in the vein where the blood was drawn on the arm. I don't know if it was too frequent, and the skin there left obvious blue marks.Qi Jingchen frowned, stretched out his finger and touched it lightly.

Blame him for being too slow, he didn't notice it earlier even though he had so many intimate contacts.

Thinking of those extremely ugly text messages sent by Shen Zelin's family, Qi Jingchen's face darkened.He held Shen Zeming's elbow, lowered his head and kissed it affectionately, then tucked it back lightly, and tucked the corner of the quilt for Shen Zeming.

In the afternoon, Qi Jingchen went to a coffee shop near the hospital for an appointment on time.

Shen Zelin was a full 10 minutes late before showing up at the door of the coffee shop. The waiter by the door raised his hand and pointed him in a direction. Shen Zelin nodded and walked over with his schoolbag.

He hadn't had a blood transfusion for nearly two months, his face was abnormally pale, and he didn't have the same spirit as before.

Probably because he didn't see Shen Zeming, Shen Zelin had already walked near the agreed position, but he was still looking around impatiently.

Qi Jingchen shook the financial magazine in his hand, looked up at him, and said softly to him, "Here."

Shen Zelin looked back suddenly when he heard the sound, his mouth couldn't be closed in shock, and he was stunned for a long time before he ran over quickly.

"Why, why is it you, Brother Jingchen?" The initial surprise receded, and only joy remained in Shen Zelin's mind, "Why are you here?"

Ever since his phone confession to Qi Jingchen was inexplicably hung up last time, he has been unable to contact Qi Jingchen for a long time. He planned to give up at this point, but today's meeting made him so dizzy that he completely ignored Qi Jingchen's use of Shen Zeming. Mobile phone about his rationality.

"I asked you out." Qi Jingchen picked up the black coffee on the table and took a sip, "Shen Zeming doesn't know."

Shen Zelin said "Oh" expressionlessly, thought for a while, and said strangely: "Then why did you ask me out? And that day...why did you hang up the phone all of a sudden that day? Even Brother Jingchen You, you want to reject me, and...you don't have to do this."

"Which one?" Qi Jingchen put down the magazine, with a vague smile on the corner of his mouth, leaned back slightly against the soft chair back, and looked at Shen Zelin with interest.

"Ah?" Shen Zelin seemed dumbfounded by his question, and then continued after a moment of stupefaction: "That's right, it's just that you don't need to use Shen Zeming's mobile phone to ask me to meet in a coffee shop...to refuse me face to face. "

Hearing this, Qi Jingchen burst out laughing, actually he rarely laughed at others face to face like this, no matter it was out of concern for upbringing or face.

But Shen Zelin is not worth it.

"You, what are you laughing at?" Shen Zelin's face flushed, a little bit annoyed.

Qi Jingchen curled his lips, and there was a sarcastic smile between his brows and eyes, but his tone was quite understated: "I think you misunderstood."

"A person like you." He said, staring at Shen Zelin carefully, and finally raised the corners of his lips, mockingly said: "It's not worth my trouble."

Shen Zelin immediately turned pale.

"Shen Zelin." Qi Jingchen smiled again, but his eyes were cold, "You are not even as good as a mouse hiding in the gutter with me."

"Why?" Shen Zelin's eyelashes trembled, and he stared at Qi Jingchen injuredly, "I remember that our relationship has always been good, why did you say that suddenly? On the day in Happy Valley, we, we—" the second half of the sentence The words were stopped by Qi Jingchen, "Okay. You just need to remember that every contact between me and you is because of Shen Zeming."

The implication is that without Shen Zeming, you are nothing.

"It's Shen Zeming again!" Shen Zelin yelled at Qi Jingchen with red eyes like a mad dog whose scales had been touched: "He treated you so well back then, why do you always miss him so much?"

He was so loud that half the people in the coffee shop looked over.

Hearing him mention this matter, Qi Jingchen suddenly lowered his face, stared at him darkly, and said sharply: "You still dare to mention it? Without you, would Shen Zeming and I have been separated for ten years?"

Shen Zelin froze for a moment, opened his mouth in astonishment and was speechless.

"I knew about the bad things you did a long time ago." Qi Jingchen glanced at Shen Zelin with a half-smile, and then said, "I just want to inform you of one thing today. Shen Zeming will not give you blood transfusions in the future. He has no obligation or responsibility to save you."

After finishing speaking, he stopped looking at Shen Zelin, got up and left.

When Qi Jingchen returned to the hospital, the originally quiet ward was a bit noisy. He frowned unhappily, opened the door and went in, and was about to ask questions, when the doctor on duty smiled at him happily, and then pointed sideways at the hospital bed Shen Zeming said: "Your lover has woken up, there is no major problem, and he can be discharged from the hospital after two days of observation."

Qi Jingchen was startled, and subconsciously raised his eyes to look at Shen Zeming.

Shen Zeming was half lying on the hospital bed, his lips were still pale, he looked a little weak, and he looked at him calmly.

The doctors and nurses crowded inside retreated out at some point, leaving only him and Shen Zeming in the ward.Inexplicably, Qi Jingchen suddenly developed a feeling of timidity similar to that of being close to home. He clenched his knuckles and walked slowly towards Shen Zeming.

"Are there any discomforts?"

He pulled the chair beside the bed and sat down, and was about to touch Shen Zeming's cheek with his hand, when Shen Zeming straightened up abruptly, and raised his hand to grab his collar.

Qi Jingchen was stunned for a moment, fearing that he would hurt Shen Zeming who was still seriously ill, he had to cooperate and bend down, and said softly: "What's wrong?"

Shen Zeming didn't speak, just stared at him, the hand holding his collar slowly slid down, stopped at the position of the heart, and pushed it lightly.

He said, "Here, does it hurt?"

Qi Jingchen looked down, paused for a second, and suddenly understood something.He lightly grasped Shen Zeming's fingertips, and said in a low voice, "It hurts."

Shen Zeming laughed suddenly, the corners of his lips curved greatly, but the temperature in his eyes gradually cooled down, "It's okay if it hurts."

"I did it on purpose."

In turn, he grabbed Qi Jingchen's hand, pulled it to his chest and pressed it tightly, and said coldly: "When you tested me with Shen Zelin, I felt the same pain here."