[Black Basket] Give me a chance to say I love you

Cover your heart with lies, love with indifference, and show affection with refusal.

Then, until the cruel time suddenly wiped away your existence, I didn't know that the so-called happiness is nothing more than being able to have you.

————&—————

I met Takao after the start of school, and my memory seems to be the day after the first freshman training session of the Hidetoku basketball club.

In fact, I can’t remember exactly what the seniors said before the training the day before. The main content was to emphasize that the basic abilities of the members should be tested, and then divided into different echelons for training.A lot of people are worried about being assigned to the worst team.Of course, for me, this is nothing to worry about. Long before Xiude came to Diguang to recruit me, I knew that whether it was for the dignity of each other in our miracle generation, or to explore what we are after Road, in the high school days, I must be the king who led the way alone.

The king, of course, will be the strongest.

The next day, in the corridor of the teaching building.

"Hey, Midorima Shintaro-kun!" A slightly frivolous voice came from behind, but also cold and gloomy like a snake, I frowned subconsciously and turned my head away.

As expected, he is a guy who also looks very frivolous in appearance.However, excessive frivolity may also be beneficial. I have a slight impression of him. Although it was the first time I got along with this freshman yesterday, he quickly got into a ball with other people. Judging by his appearance, it seems that he is always He is no longer collecting brand new information, and, no matter how many people he talks to at the same time, he can take care of all of them well, which can be regarded as a skill.

However, I still don't like him.

The overly familiar tone made me, who always advocates rules, give him another review, and the unscrupulously complaining about the lucky thing in my hand and my suffixes made me give him a review.

It was rare to have a patient chat with the other party, and I finally came to my own conclusion.

That is, I can't get along with this kind of guy at all!

In the days that followed, there was day-to-day training. Basketball games are probably things that can easily ignite people's enthusiasm, but basketball itself is not like this.The so-called 40-minute full game, how many people poured it out with endless sweat?How many people, after paying all this, still can't get a chance to show themselves?

About these, I don't know myself, but all I have to do is to train day after day.

Xu is that after entering high school, people's physical fitness has rapidly improved with the growth of the body. The amount of training at Xiude High School is large and rigorous, which is far beyond my imagination. Every day I try to improve myself in high school People who swayed themselves in the era left a resignation application and left sadly.

None of this has anything to do with me, people who don't have grit are total losers.

However, there is one thing, or a person, but I have to pay attention to it.

"Do you...do you have any special hostility towards me?" During an interval of internal training, I looked at the black-haired boy named Takao Kazunari who was following me, and finally asked.

"It's okay... Speaking of which, you still haven't remembered who I am?"

"..."

I silently looked at the young man in front of me who seemed a little silent because of the high-intensity training, not knowing how to answer.

"It really is like that..." He smiled helplessly, and then explained calmly, "I played against you once in middle school...and then lost."

I still didn't speak.

In middle school, Teiko Basketball led by the Generation of Miracles was the real emperor. We have defeated countless teams and shattered the dreams of countless people. It is expected that people will hold grudges in their hearts. It is nothing. The need to deny.But the name of the loser, if you ask me now, of course I have never remembered it.

And then, I heard exactly the opposite of what I expected.

There is no resentment, no curse... Even if there is, it is probably just a little bit of helplessness and unwillingness.

Maybe it was because of my silence that he was a little angry, so he raised his voice slightly.

"Because I was too unwilling, so I continued to practice hard after retiring... But when I went to high school, I was really laughing. The person I swore to beat was standing in front of me as a teammate! "

"However, since I'm a teammate, there's nothing I can do about it. Compared to that, I probably want you to recognize my strength now... Maybe because of this, I always seem to be competing with you during training."

"...Why... didn't you say it before?" Seeing his self-deprecating look, I asked suspiciously.

"Ah? Pfft~" He was taken aback for a moment, and then laughed out loud. Seeing his overjoyed expression, I couldn't help feeling a little annoyed.

"...Why are you laughing?"

"I just want to ask you why! Say it? Who said it? Did I say it? [I practiced super hard after being beaten by you! Come and agree with me!] Say that?! Super bad!!! "

"However, a person like you probably never had such a plan, because I still have to practice hard, more than you! Soon, I will practice a pass that will surprise you too! So, you You must remember it for me, Xiao Zhen!"

Looking at the proud and bright black-haired young man who was smiling in front of me, I accidentally didn't try to dampen his New Year with words.

"...That name sounds too close, stop calling, Takao..."

This conversation is actually just a small episode in the busy training. The only change is that since then, I have an extra tail behind me, and I complain about my lucky thing with a frivolous tail sound every day. And affixes, flirting with the girls I found around me by the way, and so on...

I also unceremoniously regarded this guy who couldn't get rid of me as a hard worker. I deliberately found a cart from the trash can on the street and tied it to his bicycle, and asked him to take me to and from school.Of course, the process - finger guessing - is quite democratic, but, who makes that unlucky guy always lose to me?In fact, I will never tell him that even if I lose, I will still not be the one pulling the cart.

Who let the rules be set by me?Even if he wins in the end, then the winner will pull the cart.

The so-called life is so peaceful, training together, competing together, cheering for victory together, crying for failure together, this is our life - me, the high school life with Takao.

And when did all of this change?

Speaking of which, I don’t know much about Takao and his family. I just know that Takao is a very easy-going and carefree guy. He likes basketball, but his academic performance is also good. He is enthusiastic and cheerful, which attracts girls, but he has never talked in love.As for his family... I just know that his parents are busy with work and are often away from home, so they especially like to go to other people's homes to grab a meal after school, and this "other" is basically me.

I thought we were friends, although I never said so, but I always feel that our relationship has been tacit enough that there is no need to explain anything.

Although this kind of self-righteous self-confidence made me feel annoyed by my behavior for the first time later, but I couldn't change anything, so that later, when Takao, who always thought he would follow me, left, I still had some reactions Come.

On the eve of university volunteering, Akashi called all of us together and finally decided that all miracles will be reunited in Waseda.

April is the time when cherry blossoms bloom.

"Midorima, who are you waiting for?" Akashi glanced at me who still refused to leave the school gate, as if he understood something, and asked.

"I……"

The generations of miracles who had already pulled their luggage and prepared to go to their dormitory all stopped and looked at me who was hesitant, with doubts and puzzles in their eyes.

"If it's Takao, he's entered Tokyo University." Patting me on the shoulder, Akashi seemed to be able to see through everything in the world with some indescribable meaning, "Midorima, we are a generation in the name of miracles , we reunited with the same belief that our very existence represents glory."

"...Is that so..." I was a little speechless in a daze, and then reacted when Akashi finally couldn't help frowning, "I understand what I want to do, Akashi."

I am the generation of miracles, I am a born king, shouldering my own mission, I will never stop and hesitate for others, that is a kind of blasphemy to me.

If you leave, I will be painful and angry, but I will never try to keep you. Your existence will never be a weight to control me.

Just, do you really not care?

I avoided answers I hadn't thought about.

So, in the huge Tokyo, the miracles and I have washed this battlefield with blood, but only when I met you, my mood was complicated; I am used to seeing countless resentful eyes and painful wailing, but I can't face you stubborn tears.

"Mr. Lujian, the person you love is not me." Heizi rejected me like this.

"Midorima, your heart is not with Kuroko, you are not qualified to compete with us." Akashi asserted.

"Ah, doesn't Xiaolujian already have his own shadow?" Kise joked like this.

"Hey, Midorima, is Tetsu very similar to your little brother from the past?" Even Aomine questioned my heart so plainly.

After all, I was still puzzled.

Hey, Takao, do I love you?

You are not dazzling at all, you have never crowned the crown of a king, I even know that what you want to be is just an ordinary boy who loves basketball... Such an ordinary you, maybe you can become a knight looking behind you, maybe you can Becoming a wise man under the court, but how could he enter my world, and how could he be admired by me as a king?

I'm a king, so I can't possibly love you.

An ordinary you.

That night, I pretended to be drunk, wanted to confirm my mood, and let you take me to the hotel, but I hugged you tightly the moment you turned around.

Ignoring the tangled emotions in the black eyes, ignoring the other party's soft prayer, the lips that were cold from the alcohol touched the smooth but hot skin, moving slowly, sniffing the faint refreshing fragrance from time to time , his arms tightly wrapped around the arm he was trying to struggle, and the moment he noticed that the person in his arms was gradually relaxing, his originally gentle movements suddenly became rough.

They left traces on the snow-white body one after another, as if a hungry beast got delicious food at once, with a strong possessive desire, and refused to let go of any corner.There were bursts of sobbing murmurs in my ears, calling my name over and over again, and a huge sense of satisfaction spontaneously emerged.

Warm and firm, as if the body and mind have obtained their own destination, and they can't help but indulge.

"Really... sauce... really sauce..."

Playing with the opponent's sensitive body recklessly, moving the hand accustomed to touching the basketball around his fragile sensitive point, immersing rationally in the hope that is gradually rising in the brain, the movements become more and more compact, allowing those black eyes to become hazy Hazy, let the tears brought by the physiological reaction wet the beige bed sheet.

Hey, Takao, I may not love you, but I can't help but be obsessed with your fragile affection and intoxicated by your nostalgic voice. You are the poison I desperately resist, but the moment I touch it, I am destined to be unable to escape .

one night.crazy.

In the light of dawn, looking at the chaotic bed and the fragile body covered in cuts and bruises, I pulled a pack of cheap cigarettes from the table, imitating Qingfeng for the first time, biting the yellow cigarette holder on the corner of my lips, letting The nasty smell permeated the whole room.

The low heat approached me, a pair of somewhat cold arms wrapped around my waist, and then gently leaned her head against my chest, rubbing gently, as if talking to herself.

"Really~ Do you love me or not? If you don't, why do you keep looking for me again and again; if you do, why are you always so far away from me?"

I couldn't help but have a cold smile on my face.

Takao, if you knew that I was just pretending to be drunk, if you knew that I continued this crazy night just as a joke, if you knew that I never intended to take you to heart...would you hate me?

After the madness, the reason becomes colder and colder, but the heart is weeping blood.

God said that the original sin was already doomed in the previous life, and only with the cause of the previous life can there be the entangled fruit of this life.

So, what is the reason for me to drag you and me into the abyss of hell no matter what?

Basketball games are still victorious, but unfortunately such monotonous victories are just unnecessary icing on the cake for us. What we are no longer innocent and young are gradually becoming more complicated.Vulcan, who returned to the United States after high school, came back again, and Kuroko, who was more and more resistant to the pursuit of miracles, gradually filled with a real smile on his face. Going to the cake shop to learn how to make cakes because of his willful temper, Qingfeng suddenly disappeared all day as if he had found something interesting.

And it was only me, who was forgotten in the campus, looking at the intimate figures of Vulcan and Heizi all day long, as if I was the most ridiculous clown.

Is there anything I can do as well?

His father urged him to take over the company's phone calls without interruption, and he refused again and again with some irritability, wandering the streets like a lonely ghost, and then unconsciously walked to the campus of Dongda University.I want to see him, my heart tells me so, but every time I meet Takao's expectant and loving eyes, shame and anger suddenly rise.

Hope and punishment, this is all between us, there is no need for anything else, the so-called affection is just evidence of my betrayal of Heizi, and only the tears of pain and suffering in his eyes, my sinful heart to be more satisfied.

I don't love you, on the contrary, only when you suffer, can I be redeemed.

That day, facing Heizi's refusal once again and his declaration that he would go to America with Vulcan, my heart was surprisingly peaceful.

"Congratulations," I heard my own voice say.

"Thank you." A trace of gratitude and apology flashed in Heizi's blue eyes, and after hesitating, he said, "Mr. Lujian should cherish the people around you..."

I raised the corners of my lips slightly, not wanting to tell him that I had been suffering from palpitations along the way, but I was unwilling to delve into it because of the strange premonition that came out of my depression.

Some things, even if rationally predicted, are too soft to accept.

The phone in my pocket suddenly started to vibrate, I smiled unconsciously, hesitated for a while and slowly pulled it out, then turned to Heizi, "Excuse me, I'll answer the phone."

"Well...you take it."

--"Hello?"

——"Hey! Is it Mr. Midorima? I'm a policeman. Where are you now?"

——"Airport, I'm here to see off my friend."

——"Sorry, if you can, please wait here, we will send someone to pick you up immediately. Your friend Kazuari Takao committed suicide in the room an hour ago, and was just discovered by the cleaning staff. The surveillance video shows that you happened to enter the room in the early morning. In view of the seriousness of this incident, please do not leave casually, otherwise we will arrest you immediately."

——"Okay, I see, please call me when you arrive."

After hanging up the phone, he was looking worriedly at Heizi on the side.

"It's Takao-kun, what happened to him?..."

"It's nothing." I interrupted him, expressing that I didn't want to continue talking, "In contrast, Akashi is coming, I'm afraid you should be the one to worry, Kuroko."

"How come... I deliberately chose today when they are going to have a meeting..."

"Heizi, I thought you should understand what kind of person Akashi is after so long." I motioned to Heizi to look at the two figures, one tall and one short, in the entrance and exit passage, "When he wants to do anything, he can do anything." It is impossible to be his resistance. You see, he has come."

Everything that followed was like a drama in my eyes, whether it was Akashi's love show as if it was an ultimatum, or the dispute and beating between Vulcan and Akashi, it was just playing slowly before my eyes like a movie.When no one paid attention to me, I just waited in silence, and Heizi called me to fight, so I stepped forward to help.

My eyes subconsciously wandered around wantonly, probably because the scene was relatively chaotic. No one could pay attention to my actions, so that I could let my thoughts be distracted unscrupulously.

You know, he finally left, he finally couldn't bear me anymore, he finally left me... Then, I have to give me some comforting rewards, don't I?

The world at this time seems to be full of Takao's blood-stained figure everywhere. I try my best to imagine his final appearance, but I don't know what kind of death is suitable for him.

Now, why didn't you leave in front of me in person, but you must leave me with endless reverie?Why even after you left, you still can't stop touching my heart? !Didn't you always love me very much, didn't you always want to indulge everything about me, why did you just lose it?

The palms of the hands are full of unwilling sweat, and the heart is filled with the long-lost anger of being betrayed.

Do I allow you to be so willful? !Do you think this kind of escape can be successful? !

You wait, I will definitely catch up with you, I will catch up with you right away! ...

I caught a glimpse of the familiar red dot out of the corner of my eye, so I subconsciously blocked it...

"Green room!"

"Mr. Green Room!"

"Little Green Boy..."

"Hey Green Room!"

When the world fell into darkness, I suddenly discovered that the so-called death is more and more just a return to the peace of mind. It is ridiculous that people in the world are more and more eager for indifference, and more powerful and more afraid of death, but they don’t know what they desire and fear. , is never just the same thing.

In the dimness, I seemed to see the shocked expression on Akashi's face in front of me, and the broken indifference of Kuroko next to me... Should I be content to be able to witness with my own eyes that there are so many living beings attached to my existence before I die? up?

Suddenly, the figure who sometimes mischievously grabbed my tie and sometimes coquettishly appeared in my mind, and the smooth black to shiny hair seemed to slip through my hands again.

With a touch like the coolness after the rain.

Hey, Takao, you were left alone in that room last night, aren't you lonely?Don't worry, I'll come to you right away, you have to walk slowly along the Santu River, wait for me to catch up with you, shake the paddle together, cross the river flowing with lifelong memories, and then forget all the past lives together, Enter the reincarnation of the next life.However, before rebirth, you must see my face clearly, and next time, you must never meet me again.

It seemed that I heard the voice with endless sighs in my ears.

[Zhenjiang~ Do you love me or not?If you don't love, why do you still come to me again and again; if you love, why are you always so far away from me? 】

The darkness finally hit, and I, having found the answer, slightly curled the corners of my lips, letting my thoughts fall into endless silence.

Takao, I don't love you,

I just, more than anyone, can't lose you.

The author has something to say:

About the green room in the previous life...

Such a heavy chapter... Come and give Susu Den 32 likes! ! !