under the tower

Ji Xi lay on the bed with his eyes wide open, the scorching pain from the wound made him sleepless, the only thing he could do was to wait for Yanyi to come back.

If Yanyi never came back, he would gradually rot and starve to death on this bed without struggling.

He tried to empty his consciousness, but he couldn't do it at all. Sometimes the human brain is like this. The more you don't want to think, the more active those messy thoughts are.

The scenes that flashed through Ji Xi's mind were all the most terrifying images he could imagine.

He was killed by Ling Chi, cut into pieces by thousands of swords, bitten to death by a deformed person, and turned into an unconscious and terrifying monster, or he was disembowelled like his grandfather, and died with regret.

All kinds of ways to die are throbbing crazily at the nerve endings, uncontrollable and unstoppable.

It turned out that when things came to an end, his human instinct was still trying to tell his heart that he was afraid of the end.

At a certain moment, he felt in a trance again that he seemed to be no longer in the world, but quietly watched this tragedy happen in front of him from the perspective of a bystander.

The daylight was gradually extinguished, and the sky outside the window became darker frame by frame. Before the darkness completely swallowed up the light, Ji Xi heard a sound coming from the door, indicating that Yan Yi had returned.

Ji Xi turned his head numbly, his eyes were bloodshot, Yan Yi was wearing a black coat, his face was covered with frost, and his military boots stepped on the floor making a heavy sound.

He was carrying a plastic bag, and took out three plastic boxes containing meals from it.

"Let's eat." He lined up the boxes of lunch on the bar outside the kitchen, without saying a word about what he just went out to do.

Ji Xi suffered skin trauma, but his appetite was very poor, to the point where he would feel nauseous when he smelled food.

But he didn't show it, and sat up slowly from the bed, the feeling that his sanity was about to collapse became more and more obvious.

He and Yan were sitting in front of the table, swallowing the rice in small mouthfuls, Yan Yi bought all the dishes he liked, and he was pretending that he still liked it very much.

After eating, Ji Xi put down his chopsticks and said slowly: "Thank you, I'm fine, can I go back?"

"You stay here first." Yan Yi repeated what he said in the afternoon, "It's not safe outside now, you are here with me, no one will trouble you."

The movements of Ji Xi's hands froze, and said: "Okay."

At night, Yanyi kept making phone calls in the bathroom, the door was closed, Ji Xi couldn't hear what he was talking about.Sitting by the window, Ji Xi saw the rolling clouds in the night sky like sea waves, covering a full moon, and showing it from time to time, filling the whole sky with bright moonlight, outlining a picture of a peaceful and peaceful world. scene.

Just like despair and hope in the last days, they depend on each other, appearing and disappearing from time to time, sometimes one side has the upper hand, while the other side falls into the trough, and sometimes they miss it.

Ji Xi suddenly realized that he had never loved this world since he was born, but now he actually felt a little nostalgia.

It was in the middle of the night that Yan Yi realized that something was wrong with Ji Xi.

As Ji Xi himself said, he has been very calm all day long. As soon as Cong Yan brought him back from the prison, he treated his wounds and let him stay in the room.

It was already late at night when they fell asleep, and Ji Xi should have had no sleep for a day and a night, Yan Yi simply scrubbed his body for him, wrapped him up like a small shrimp in the quilt and put him on the bed, and then he himself After falling asleep, he can be sure that Ji Xi will really fall asleep in a short time. He is exhausted to the extreme and must rest.

In the middle of the night, Yan Yi woke up suddenly for some reason, perhaps his biological instinct made him feel a sense of ominous foreboding, when he opened his eyes, the bed next to him was empty, without any temperature.

Yan Yi sat up immediately, and he made sure that the door of his room was properly closed.

He got out of bed and searched around with a night light until he walked into the bathroom, his heart stopped beating uncontrollably when he saw the scene in front of him.

Ji Xi was wearing pajamas, huddled in the innermost corner alone, his body was tightly arched, a small ball, that posture was extremely distorted, making people feel quite uncomfortable when looking at him, his back was connected with his entire body. His body was trembling violently, and his whole body seemed to be fished out of the water, covered with cold sweat.

Yan Yi walked over quickly, pulled him out of the corner and hugged him into his arms, and asked anxiously, "Ji Xi! What's wrong with you?"

That slender body shook and creaked in Yan Yi's arms, and even the bones made the sound of colliding. Yan Yi was extremely anxious, and when he took a closer look, he saw Ji Xi's eyes tightly closed, with a painful expression on his face, looking at the outside world. There was no response, and the appearance seemed to be trapped in a nightmare.

Sensing the heat source, Ji Xi tightly grabbed Yan Yi's pajamas, and attached herself to the man's body, entangled tightly, as if melting herself into the man's body.

It was not a hug between lovers, there was no charm, but it was more like holding on to something that belonged to oneself and refused to let go.

He muttered indistinct words, Yan Yi leaned closer, only to hear him murmuring intermittently, what he said was——

"Yanyi...I only have you...I only have you..."

Yan Yi patted him on the back a few times to comfort him, then supported Ji Xi to stand up, and carried him back to the bedroom.

Even from the naked eye, it can be seen that Ji Xi is now in a very unsafe state. Usually, Yan Yi's body temperature can calm him down very well, but this time, even if his whole body is completely trapped in Yan Yi's arms , still trembling violently, sweating profusely, his throat issued a small cry like an animal dying.

So he grabbed Yan Yi even more forcefully, almost strangling Yan Yi so hard that he couldn't breathe.

Yan Yi frowned tightly, pushed and blocked him, and said loudly: "Ji Xi, wake up!"

As soon as the words fell, Ji Xi opened his eyes, his eyes were as deep as a dry well, he panted, his teeth were chattering, and he said quietly: "I... am awake..."

A few fragmented words leaked out from between the teeth, with a chill.

He looked like a living ghost who had just crawled out of a coffin.

Yanyi's big hand rubbed along his spine, as if he was comforting a cat with fur.

Ji Xi is still trembling, but the intensity is not so violent. Yan Yi was really scared when Ji Xi was like that just now. The sharp whole body trembling seems to be pathological. Normal people don’t feel it even when it’s extremely cold. Such a severe convulsion occurred.

What he didn't know was that Wu Qianshu's death was another collapse of the world for Ji Xi, and this time it could never be recovered.

Ji Xi's affection for his family was not deep since he was a child, but he still regarded them as his only belonging. It was a deep and inalienable affection in his blood. When he was born in a nest, that nest was It became all his barriers against the malice of the world.

In a sense, Ji Xi is missing, he still doesn't have the courage to face the world alone, only in that nest can he feel the original security.

But that safety was taken away, so he panicked and tried his best to get it back, otherwise he would probably run into the wall out of panic and fear.

In the final analysis, he is still a fledgling that has not grown up.

"Will you not want me?" Ji Xi lay in Yanyi's arms, tremblingly asked, "Will you not want me?"

Yan Yi paused for a moment, but said, "No."

Two complex emotions, sorrow and joy, appear on Ji Xi's face at the same time. Many times, Yan Yi always feels that Ji Xi's emotions are floating on the surface, like ripples on the water surface, which will be blown away by the wind. But this time, the sorrows, joys and joys of the world seemed to have finally been engraved into his bone marrow, allowing him to exist in an extremely real way.

Even Ji Xi himself doesn't know, most of the time he is just performing, acting like an ordinary person, this is a skill he gradually acquired through imitation from birth, the closed growth environment can only bring him these.

However, at this moment, real and profound emotions poured into his body like a tide, making him learn how to be a normal person without a teacher.

Warm liquid flowed down from the eye sockets naturally.

In the long journey of life, it is normal to feel sad, painful, and hopeless.

Yan Yi touched Ji Xi's cheeks that were wet with tears, his action was full of affection: "I said no, does this make you feel better?"

Ji Xi wiped her face, her nasal cavity was sour, her eyes were so blurred that she couldn't even see Yan Yi clearly.

"It's okay. It's okay." Yan Yi patted his back and repeated softly like coaxing a child, "It will all pass."

It's okay if he doesn't do this, but now Ji Xi's tears fell down uncontrollably, soaking both of their clothes, and in the end, he was crying heartbreakingly, his face was messed up, and he was out of breath. I couldn't catch my breath, even my voice became hoarse, and I almost used up all the tears in the previous 20 years in one go.

The fall of the Shencheng Base and the destruction of the family half a year ago had never happened to him. Until then, he finally mourned the loss of his family with belated tears and bitter cries, acknowledging and facing this irreversible fact.

After crying happily, the extreme exhaustion and hopelessness seemed to have dissipated a lot.

In the end, the tears had dried up, he was still panting sobbingly, Yan Yi hugged him, coaxing him softly over and over again very patiently.

Ji Xi's eyes were red and swollen like goldfish bubbles, he couldn't see it himself, but Yan Yi found it cute, he moved closer, his lips gently touched the swollen eyelids, tasted a bit of salty taste.

Ji Xi blinked, and those lips moved to the corners of his eyes, covering his dry tears.

A strange and miraculous feeling spread to the whole body, Ji Xi seemed to be electrified by a tiny electric current, and his whole body went numb.

This action should not contain any sexual color, and the man has indeed provided him with all the means of comfort he can, so that he can rest in his arms with peace of mind.

However, because of this, Ji Xi gave birth to a stronger desire.

He's someone who's been thirsty for too long, or has a ravenous, shriveled stomach that has to eat himself to death to be satisfied.

Yan Yi is the only one left for him, and all his feelings of losing sustenance are poured into Yan Yi alone.

Ji Xi lifted his head from Yanyi's arms, sniffed, put his hands on the man's body, his eyes were shining brightly in the dark night.

"I want you." He repeated clearly and clearly, "I want you."