three feet away

During the winter vacation of the freshman year, Xu Nuo went home and stayed overnight, and the next morning he put on his backpack and prepared to leave.

Before leaving, Xu's mother and Xu's father were having breakfast in the kitchen. Seeing her walking into the yard with a bag on her back, Xu's mother was a little surprised. She put down the dishes and came out of the kitchen and asked her:

"Are you going to reunite with your classmates today?"

Xu Nuo shook her head. For nearly four and a half months in the first semester of her freshman year, she hadn't been home, and she even had very few phone calls with her family. When she came back this time, she clearly noticed that her mother was aging at a speed visible to her naked eyes. She couldn't describe the feeling she felt when she accidentally saw the darkened lines around her eyes when she tentatively and carefully knocked on the door of her room last night and came in and sat on the edge of the bed and asked herself how the past few months were going. It felt like a jack was pressing on her chest, and the sadness and sadness made her a little breathless, but she couldn't make herself forgive everything in the past.She knew that her mother didn't feel sorry for herself, but the deep reason for her hatred was not because of what she had experienced, but because of those experiences that disgusted her, and she hated coming to this world but being unable to choose her family, let alone get rid of it fundamentally. The love for her deep in her heart made her even more conflicted.She hated this feeling, hated that from the moment she saw her, she wanted to escape and leave this place.

Later, when Zhou Qingming called and asked her if she would like to take a winter vacation job, she agreed almost without hesitation. She was away for too long, and she could no longer simply take care of her during the long vacation like before. Locked in her room and isolated from the world, she needs clean and fresh oxygen and freedom. Although, on the surface, this home does not treat her unfairly at all, at least for now.No one was harsh on her living expenses, or owed her tuition fees, but after all, she was so cold-blooded that she couldn't be grateful.

"My classmate helped me find a job in the winter vacation tutoring class. I went to meet the person in charge there today and started working tomorrow."

"That's it, how long are you going to work? You are already very tired from studying, you should take a good rest during the holiday..."

Xu's mother stood at the door of the kitchen, staring at Xu Nuo. When she spoke, her expression still couldn't let go naturally. Every sentence seemed to be discussing with Xu Nuo.

Xu Nuo smiled at Xu's mother, and tightened the down jacket on her body: "It's okay, it's boring here anyway."

Father Xu listened to all the conversations between the two, and his expression was not very good. As soon as Xu Xu's voice fell, he was about to explode. Grandma Xu, who walked into the kitchen from the next room, gave him a stare, twitched the corners of his mouth, and said to Xu Xu yelled:

"Tell your mother in advance when to take a break. If there are few reunion dinners, people will think that I treat you badly."

Xu Nuo pursed her lips, looked sideways at the back of Xu's mother who was turning around to signal to Xu's father to tell him not to talk anymore, lowered the corners of her lips, and said softly: "Got it." After finishing speaking, he didn't care about the inside The person who heard it didn't hear it, turned around and walked out of the courtyard gate.

Mother Xu followed her out, stood at the door and watched her go a long way, with sad eyes on her back, as if she was going to burn two holes in Xu Nuo's thick down jacket, she walked forward with a blank face, across the field ridge, Walking up the country road, when the figure just circled into another village courtyard, he turned around quickly, stood where Xu's mother could not see, looked back deeply, and watched the petite woman at the gate of the courtyard raise her hand to wipe her face , the jack in her heart was pressed down again, she raised her head, sighed heavily against the gray sky, turned and left, and never looked back.

The bus drove into the entrance of a familiar but unfamiliar town, promising to sit by the window, watching the buildings and shops slowly passing by, and my mood became more gloomy. From the party after graduation to the present, nearly half a year, Nothing has changed, and it seems that everything has changed.

The scene of Zhou Qingming standing in front of the platform stomping her feet and waving at her made her suddenly have a feeling of deja vu. In her memory, there was such a cold day when she jumped off the bus to give a hand to a man with a pair of Cute baby-faced little schoolgirl for birthday.She couldn't recall the mood at that time, but the scene in her memory was so similar.

Xu Nuo suddenly felt that his heart seemed to have aged many years in an instant, lamenting that time should not be the state that a college student under the age of 20 should have.She breathed into the sealed car window and watched the whiteness on the glass slowly dissipate. When Zhou Qingming's figure appeared outside the window again, she looked at her through the foggy car window. She smiled, then got up and followed the crowd out of the car.

"Are you tired?"

After Xu Nuo got off the bus, Zhou Qingming and the passengers who filed out from the terminal went up the wrong way, squeezed to stand by the back door of the car, and asked Xu Nuo face to face.

Xu Nuo shook his head, looked at her curly hair washed by the cold wind and the flow of people, stretched out his hand, and helped her tidy up the hair floating in the corner of her eyes and hook it behind her ears.

When her warm fingertips touched Zhou Qingming's icy earlobe, Xu Nuo curled up her fingers in a place Zhou Qingming couldn't see like an electric shock. She stared at Zhou Qingming for a few seconds without blinking, until all After everyone got out of the car, the conductor stood by the door and yelled at her to get out of the way. She quickly regained her senses and dragged Zhou Qingming towards the school.

Xu Nuo didn't know how long Zhou Qingming had been waiting in the cold wind. The temperature of her fingertips and earlobes almost dropped to freezing point, which made her a little annoyed and distressed.She held Zhou Qingming's hand in her own and put it in the pocket of her warm down jacket together, without saying a word with a sullen face.Because she didn't know what to say, the deepest voice in her heart reminded her that she shouldn't let Zhou Qingming treat her so stupidly, but it was so difficult to open her mouth every time she faced her.

Zhou Qingming was forced to step on hurried steps to follow Xu Nuo's fast pace. She knew that Xu Nuo was angry, but she didn't know what she did wrong.During the chase, she trotted forward for a few steps and then stopped many times when she was about to fail to keep up. Every time at this time, she would turn her head to look at Xu Nuo, her reddish eyes hesitated to speak.

It wasn't until the two of them walked from the crowded platform to a secluded alley behind the old school that Xu Nuo finally stopped suddenly during Zhou Qingming's unknowingly how many times he trotted after his footsteps.

Standing under the dilapidated wall, she looked at Zhou Qingming's long hair that was blown by the wind and was too late to tidy up, and she looked a little bit embarrassed with her mouth slightly open for panting. Suddenly, an unknown fire burned in her heart, and she grabbed Zhou Qingming in her pocket. Ming's hands unconsciously tightened and tightened again, she desperately suppressed her irritable emotions, but saw Zhou Qingming's pitiful look with red eyes biting his lips silently enduring the pain.

The pain in his heart suddenly doubled, and Xu Nuo found angrily that he was squeezing his right hand tightly with all his strength, and Zhou Qingming's slender fingers were always held in it.

She let go of her hand abruptly, annoyed at how she had hurt her, and even more annoyed at how she kept silent, exhaling heavily towards the corner, then turned and walked towards the school gate.

"Promise..."

Zhou Qingming murmured her name, but got no response. She followed her with red eyes and didn't speak again. She didn't understand why Xu Nuo was so furious all of a sudden. She knew that she was trying her best to suppress her temper. But she didn't know where her anger came from.

The two walked into the school gate one after the other, with Zhou Qingming leading the way and Xu Nuo following behind her silently.

Since she moved to the new campus in the third year of high school, she has not been here for more than a year. In the middle of winter, she took away the green leaves of magnolia magnolia next to the tree-lined road from the school gate to the teacher's apartment. The dead branches and yellow leaves were scattered all over the ground. Finally, there seems to be some neglect of management here, and looking around, the scene is depressed and lifeless.

The alley leading from the teacher's apartment to the green-tiled courtyard behind is covered with fallen leaves. Xu Nuo looked up and saw two straight ginkgo trees in the corner of the residential area separated from the teacher's apartment. It is silently laid flat on the ground, and when the wind passes by occasionally, it sways quietly in the wind.

"Xu Nuo..." Seeing Xu Nuo not following, Zhou Qingming turned and walked to her side, calling her name timidly.

Xu Nuo raised her eyebrows, glanced at Zhou Qingming, and saw all the cautious look in her eyes. She took a breath, took a deep look at the alley, and turned around to respond to Zhou Qingming: "It's okay, let's go."

The high school has not yet had a holiday, and the school has moved to a new location. The old school only has this apartment and the back yard where people come and go. Most of the teachers work in the new school. It has lost popularity, and the surrounding environment has become extremely quiet.

Xu Nuo went upstairs with Zhou Qingming, and stood by the door waiting for Zhou Qingming to open the door while looking at the surrounding environment. After waiting for a few seconds, he only heard the ringing of the keychain, and saw no other movement.She leaned forward, tilted her head to see what was going on, and saw that Zhou Qingming's right hand holding the key kept shaking, and the red and white traces on the fingertips and the back of the hand were exactly what she had left a few minutes ago. on her.

Taking a deep breath, Xu Nuo endured the soreness that suddenly welled up in the corner of his eyes, reached out to take the keychain from Zhou Qingming's hand, and opened the door.

Zhou Qingming carefully entered the room sideways from her side, took out a new pair of slippers from the shoe cabinet and put them under her feet, probably promising that the movement of taking the key from her just now was very light and gentle, and easily put her The suppressed grievances were all hooked out, she lowered her head and pointed at the slippers:

"I just bought it yesterday. There is no one at home. Don't be restrained. I told my father that I will bring my female classmate to live at home temporarily. He probably won't come back in the next few days..."

Before he finished speaking, his voice choked up several times.

Xu Nuo lowered his head, watching the transparent tears falling like rain from Zhou Qingming's lowered head covered by curly hair, falling on the brand new pair of pink cat slippers and quickly being absorbed by the fluff, his heart felt like a needle prick Generally aches.

She closed the door, quickly folded her arms to hug Zhou Qingming tightly, kissed her lips fiercely, and swallowed Zhou Qingming's fine sobs.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I'm not mad at you, I'm just mad at myself."

"You are so nice, but I..."

"Don't be too nice to me...I'm afraid..."

What was she afraid of, Xu Nuo couldn't say it, when Zhou Qingming kissed her back, she saw the tears in the corners of her eyes, the scorching heat burning her young but boundless heart.She felt that she was an asshole and knew that she had fallen into an abyss, but this abyss was clearly dug by herself...

When Zhou Qingming went to the toilet to tidy up, Xu Nuo went around the living room and walked to the window. He lowered his head slightly, and his eyes fell on the backyard. The moss in the yard was still there, the drying rack was still there, and the small potted plants on the window sill were still there, fresh and fresh. The style curtains are still there, and everything is so familiar, except for the repainted and locked door...