three feet away

Zhou Qingming went through the check-in procedures of the hotel silently all the way, and then went upstairs from the lobby until he opened the door, without any unnecessary movements during the whole process, as calm as a machine traveling for a specific job.

Xu Nuo followed her from the hall to the room, hesitating to speak several times.She was a little uncertain about what Zhou Qingming was thinking, because in front of her, Zhou Qingming had always shown a sincere but simple attitude towards feelings. Most of them are just pouting and muttering to express their dissatisfaction directly. This is the first time that they express their dissatisfaction in silent silence like now.And such a sudden situation made Xu Nuo, who was inexperienced in this area, a little at a loss.She stood at the door of the room, and when the door closed behind her, she raised her hand, stirred her fingers blindly, took a deep breath, and watched Zhou Qingming calmly throw the backpack in her hand on the The bed was covered with neat white sheets, and then went straight to the window and drew the curtains without hesitation.

"About going abroad, Qingming... I didn't tell you, one is because there is no conclusion yet, and..."

When Zhou Qingming turned her head, Xu Nuo finally raised her foot to walk towards her. When her eyes met Zhou Qingming's, she opened her mouth and tried to explain, a little powerless but necessary.

Zhou Qingming's eyes fell on Xu Nuo's eyes without blinking, like every time we met in the past, he was unwilling to move away, but his eyes were no longer as warm as usual, replaced by self-deprecating and indifferent eyes look.She stared at Xu Nuo, seeing Xu Nuo's expression of struggling and not knowing how to speak, and slowly walked towards her, standing still within a distance of less than fifty centimeters between the two.

Xu Nuo stared into her eyes, a little short of words, and what?And hasn't she figured out what kind of future they should have?In this case, she would not be able to speak to Zhou Qingming.She turned her head slightly, and her gaze fell on the big snow-white bed, thinking about how to explain what was in her heart, but there was always an untouchable hidden corner in her heart, which prevented her from fully facing her heart.

Zhou Qingming stood in front of her, waited for about half a minute, and finally stopped waiting for her unfinished words. She raised the corners of her lips, showing a very ironic smile, and stared straight at Xu Nuo's side. As if she was afraid of missing the rare embarrassing expression on her face, she chuckled, and asked Xu Nuo in a deliberately sharp tone: "And what?"

"Qingming..."

Xu Nuo looked back at Zhou Qingming with a sad expression. The moment she turned her head, Zhou Qingming suddenly opened her eyes wide and stared at Xu Nuo, covering her mouth and laughing uncontrollably: "Ha, hahaha... What are you hurting? Are you sad? What? Are those related to me?"

Xu Nuo looked at Zhou Qingming, who was in an even more disturbed mood, in astonishment, and stretched out his hand to support her.

Zhou Qingming bent over, covered his face with one hand, and put one hand on his leg, laughing so hard that he couldn't breathe, but he couldn't stop.Xu Nuo supported her, looked at her trembling back, and felt that there was a huge stone pressing on her chest, and the unstoppable severe pain spread quickly all over her body. self-blame, and regret.

"Qingming, I..."

Zhou Qingming finally stopped laughing, slowly straightened up and looked at Xu Nuo, her handsome face was already stained with makeup from tears, she raised her hand to wipe her face, and once she let go, she held Xu Nuo on her back The right hand on the shoulder waved away, and then, he showed her a desperate and stubborn smile:

"I know and what, besides, I am not within the scope of people you think you need to tell; moreover, in your plan, I never need to be considered; moreover, even if I will support you unconditionally, you don't think I deserve to know and, no matter how hard I treat you, I am nothing compared to Yan Ruyi! Moreover, even if I have two more years, five years, ten years, you will never be able to Take back the love you have given her and give it to poor me, right?!!! Right?!!!"

The words Zhou Qingming yelled at Xu Nuo made Xu Nuo feel as if he had been shot in the chest for a moment, and it hurt. She felt as if she was bleeding, but she couldn't see where the muzzle of the gun was.She opened her mouth in a daze, trying to explain, but she was dumb. She lowered her head, wanting to see where the blood was bleeding from her chest, looking for the hollow muzzle where the cold wind was pouring, and caressing her own hands. On her chest, she put it down in a panic: "I... no..." No, she wanted to say no, but if it wasn't so, so what?

She raised her head, blinked unconsciously, hot tears fell quickly, dripping on the back of her hand, burning her twitching heart even more painful, she watched Zhou Qingming stubbornly biting his lip and unwilling to cry With an extremely heartbroken expression, she couldn't help reaching out to hug her: "Qingming...I...I'm sorry...but, but, but I'm trying to love you...I want to love you..."

"Hehe... Work hard? Want to? Then I ask you, promise, do you love me?"

Zhou Qingming leaned in Xu Nuo's arms, playing with her like a lifeless and unconscious doll: "If respecting each other is love, then you love me; if reciprocity is love, then you love me; if keeping distance is love, then you love me." Me. But if hot and strong is love, then promise, I love you, but you, you don't say that word to me!"

"My two years of companionship and devotion can't compare to Yan Ru turning around and looking back. I am obviously younger than her, and I am not uglier than her, but why, why can't you see me??!!!"

"In the 19 years before I met you, I never thought that one day the person I love would take the initiative to kiss me and hug me, and I would cheer in my heart for a long time. I never knew that I was so cheap, so cheap... .It seems that I am full of love, not even worthy of a kiss from others. You never want me to really belong to you..." Zhou Qingming wiped his eyes, took a step back, and then, in the big She sat down at the end of the white bed, curled her legs against her chest, hugged her legs with her hands and buried her face in them. Then, a long sob and a desperate cry came from her petite body covered by her loose long hair:

"No, I was wrong, no, it's not that you don't want me to really belong to you, it's you, you never thought that you really belong to me..."

Standing by the bed, Xu Nuo looked at Zhou Qingming who was on the verge of collapse, her heart throbbing with severe pain, she felt like an animal placed on the dissecting table, every corner was clearly seen by Zhou Qingming Clearly, even those abysses that she was unwilling or afraid to pry into were clearly seen by her. Zhou Qingming was like another self juxtaposed with her own soul. She mercilessly tore open the ugly wound called the past without a past that she thought she had hidden well.She suddenly felt lonely, that kind of loneliness is like walking alone on the road in the desert no man's land. Except for the endless yellow sand that has never changed, there is nothing else. It is an endless road. The despair of not reaching the end almost engulfs her. The more she persists, the more lonely she is out of control. But she couldn't save herself...

She thought that Zhou Qingming might be a talking cactus she met on her lonely journey. She found her in a desperate situation and hugged her without hesitation. In order not to hurt herself, the cactus shaved her head All the thorns on her body are just to get closer to each other, but when she was hugging, she deliberately chose to forget one thing in anger. The reason why she walked into this no man's land was because she was still alive in her heart. An oasis she never gave up looking for.But the cactus has pulled out its thorns, because love has made itself unrecognizable, so what should she do to fill those wounds?And how to repair those ugly and hideous scars?

That was the first real collision between Xu Nuo and Zhou Qingming after they were together.To say it was a collision, in fact, it would be more appropriate to say it was Zhou Qingming's outbreak alone.Because compared to Zhou Qingming's anger and roar, Xu promised that apart from the incomplete explanation and pale apology, there was only unbearable pain left, because in the past 21 years, no one taught her how to release it, and she was used to it. silently bear.

She knew right from wrong, knew that she had done something wrong, she regretted it, but she didn't dare to mention her regret, she became the kind of complete rubbish playing with emotions mentioned in the novel.

She once heard her dormmates talk about a certain boy they were in the same department as a type of person, and that type of person belonged to the typical hypocritical, kind, and real scumbag character.Don’t love but flirt because of various reasons, regret after flirting, regret but use self-righteous morality to restrain yourself from breaking up, just procrastinating day by day, talking about everything when we are together, except love , can take care of each other in every possible way but always almost mean, until the other party finally breaks down and proposes to break up.Only then can they leave with peace of mind, without being condemned by their deformed moral values.This type of people is not kind, but scum. They are good at hiding their emotions, pretending to be affectionate, just waiting for the other party to finally say goodbye, because only in that way, they will not empathize Spam tags for not falling in love or playing with feelings...

Xu Nuo felt that at this moment, he was so similar to the kind of person that his roommate said.It turns out that I have always been a scum...

Taking a deep breath, Xu Nuo walked sideways to the bed, sat down next to Zhou Qingming, reached out and hooked her shoulders to hug her against his chest: "I'm sorry, Qingming. I may not be able to be what you want. So, let's break up..."

"What did you say?"

Zhou Qingming, who was leaning in her arms, listened to the words, raised her head abruptly and stared at Xu Nuo with red eyes, maybe the words were too heavy, her expression was shocked for a moment, and then came the pain that could not be concealed .

"Why did you break up so easily?!"

Xu Nuo has never seen Zhou Qingming who lost control of his emotions like this. From seeing Yan Ruyi at school during the winter vacation of her freshman year to now, they have always maintained a polite and close distance between them, and no one mentioned the past. Things, like that dream and that embarrassing winter afternoon, never happened.After waking up from the dream, she thought she was trying her best to treat Zhou Qingming well, get close to her, and hug her, but she didn't realize until today that the gap between them has never disappeared from the beginning to the end. It wasn't that Zhou Qingming didn't mind the past that was brought up, but that she did, but she never said anything about it.She tolerated herself in her way, but in the same way, she was destroying herself.

"It's you who want to start and I agree. It's you who want to hug me and give it to you. I can do everything according to your wishes, but no matter how much I love you, I can't tolerate your breaking up!"

Zhou Qingming angrily pushed Xu Nuo away, stood on the ground and looked at her hoarsely, "Why did you break up with me? Is it because I'm not good enough? Did I force you to hug me? Or, I forced you Did you do something you don't like? Why, why did you break up...Why?"

Having said that, Zhou Qingming could no longer suppress her emotions. She covered her face in grief, and could no longer utter a sound. She could only sob uncontrollably, tears slipping down her elbows along her tightly closed fingers. on, and then wet her clothes.

"I'm sorry." Xu Nuo stood up, hugged her trembling body vigorously, then turned around and walked towards the door.

"No, no, no, no, I won't agree!"

Zhou Qingming rushed forward, hugged Xu Nuo from behind, shook his head with his wet face against Xu Nuo's back, and said in a tone of grievance and humbleness that he had never felt before: "I was wrong, Xu Nuo, no matter what you are , your appearance is what I want...I don't want to separate, as long as you..."