Drowning in a sea of ​​moonlight

The fireworks that took off into the sky exploded in the sky, turning into tiny light spots scattered all over the sky, life and death in an instant, and brilliance in an instant.

The sound of selling around is endless, the wide tail fins of goldfish cut open the water filled with starlight, the boy holding the lantern chases and runs down the street, the girl’s hair is pulled up, clogs are kicking on the stone slab, and the soap locust on the bathrobe The aroma and sweetness of candy in hand wafts through the streets and alleys.

It's the end of summer.

This is the second month since you left me.

"...Ah, I'm so sorry!"

The girl who accidentally bumped into him while joking with her companion yelled "Yeah", and then bowed a little nervously to apologize.

"...It's all right. But the lovely lady, is she all right?"

Dazai said with a smile.

The girl stared at him blankly. After watching for a while, her face turned red suddenly, and she blinked a pair of bright eyes and said, "...I'm fine! Please don't worry!"

Then she took a deep breath, her cheeks puffed up, and she asked amidst the booing of her companions: "...Well, please, are you alone? If so, do you want to come with us? .”

Dazai raised his hand, stroked the moonstone necklace on his chest, and said softly, "No. I have someone to accompany me."

"...Ah." The girls all showed disappointment, but the girl just said quickly again: "I'm sorry to bother you! Have fun!"

"...Thank you. Please make sure you have fun too, ladies."

He watched the girls who were still blushing and looked back at him laughing and drifting away. He looked at him, lowered his head, and lightly tapped his heart with his hand, feeling that it was empty and there was nothing there. No.

Sure enough, I shouldn't have come.

Although the task of collecting intelligence was arranged, it was completed early.Should have gone back then.

Why, unknowingly came to this street again. ...?

This summer festival is the busiest street.

...At the same time, it is also the street with the best flowers during the cherry blossom festival.

Right here, at the opposite street corner, but four months ago, when the spring cherry blossoms were in full bloom, a man put a vermilion spring flower in his hair, walked with him among the crowd, and said to him, " ...Even if, the joy of the festival is not for you."

"There will always be such a person, as long as he looks at you, he feels happy."

But ah.

He lowered his head to look at the moonstone on the necklace in the palm of his hand, which was still so gentle and clear even in the night full of fireworks.

Maybe it's just because I don't want to be with them.Perhaps, just because I am in such a summer night, among such a vast crowd, I don't want to admit this fact.

Although I said that to those girls, I clearly know it.

The one who has been watching me,

It's gone now.

Now, even on the busiest night, even in the busiest place, no one will smile like a tree blooming when they see me.

I'm just torturing myself, he thought silently.

Obviously, I should be afraid of all festivals from now on.Everything that reminds him of that person should be avoided.

Festivals, cherry blossoms, sparkling wine, hot beer, hair dryer, own dormitory,

...warm eyes, smiles, touches, hugs.

However, if you really avoid these things, you will forget about him one day.

Forget what he said, what he did, and the feeling when he was around, only a vague shadow in memory.

So here I am, even standing alone in the middle of this laughing crowd.

Even if my heart hurts like this.

The spring cherry blossoms on the side of the street are all gone, and even the petals that fell in the soil have turned into dust. The branches that were once covered with flowers now only have the darkness that is too thick to melt at night.

"Hey, let's go over there and take a look! I heard that there seems to be sparkling wine for sale!"

"Why did you fall into the goldfish pond, your clothes were soaked—"

"Take something delicious, don't get lost, come, I'll pull you."

The happiness in their eyes turned out to be such a sharp sword.

He stumbled, looking around blankly, every beat of his heart brought pain, every step he took was like stepping on the tip of a knife, every corner of his line of sight was full of smiling people, they walked all the way with laughter Fireworks, walking through the busiest night, towards tomorrow as always, and among them, only the place beside him, the place where that person should exist, is empty——

... ahhh.

It really hurts.

It really hurts...

"Hey, look at someone, kid."

A voice with a little impatience and helplessness came.

Dazai raised his head and saw Chuya's figure not far away.

He changed his usual clothes, but he still wore a dark bathrobe. He held his hat in one hand and a folding fan in the other hand, and he was staring helplessly at a little boy whose head bumped against him. child.

After the child ran away with a smile on his face, Nakaya walked under a cherry tree, put on his hat, took out a wine glass and a small wine bottle from his pocket, filled the glass with wine, and threw it at the void.

Then he raised his head and drank it all in one gulp.

Dazai glanced at him from a distance, turned around, and quietly disappeared into the crowd.

An extra-large firework exploded in the air, illuminating half of the night sky.

"Divination magic from the ancient gypsy nation, everyone, let's take a look—"

An old lady in a cloak on the side of the road shouted, her eyes fell on Dazai who was about to successfully walk out of the crowd.

"Hey, do you want to try this little gentleman? It's very accurate."

...was pulled by the sleeve.

Talk about magic, but in fact it's just cold reading.Or it is also possible that they are elderly people who think they have special abilities.

But judging by her expression, it was probably the latter.It is because I really believe in the results of my own divination, and out of excessive enthusiasm, I want others to try it.

Dazai turned his head slightly, showing a polite smile, and was about to speak.

As if seeing his true thoughts, the old man showed a somewhat mysterious smile.

"Sometimes, you might as well listen to it if you don't believe it. Maybe there will be some unexpected results."

"You, are you thinking of someone who is very important to you? I know it. It's the look of missing someone, there's nothing wrong with it."

"...Yes. You are amazing."

Dazai smiled.

"Is it? Well, we are also destined, so I'll come and do a fortune-telling for you for free—"

As soon as the old man clapped his hands, his yellow eyes behind the glasses stared at him firmly, and said.

"You and the person you want will see you soon. For sure."

—But that is a person who has passed away.

——I can't find him anymore.

He wants to say something.

But failed to make any sound.

"...So live a good life, I see that your seal is black and your eyes are blue, you must be very sleep deprived, right?

Oh, it looks like the spleen and stomach are very cold, this is not okay, you have to take care of your body, the body is the first—”

"...I see, thank you very much."

Bowing slightly to the old man, Dazai showed a bright smile.

...Whether it was a cold trick or a well-meaning blessing, he just wanted to get away at this moment.

Don't do it again.

Stop reminding me of the fact that he's never coming back.

Under the concerned eyes of the old man, he left in a hurry, walked quickly in the opposite direction, and unconsciously clenched the necklace on his chest, so hard that his fingertips turned white.

My little friend.

You said you want me to be free, but you know what?

 …There is no chain in this world heavier than your departure.

But I will try.

If that is your wish, I will try my best not to think about you.

Then, go to the sun and be a free person all your life——

——But it’s so difficult, it’s really too difficult, I think about you all the time, so please, even if it’s only once, even if it’s a lie or an illusion, let me do it again—

...see you soon...

"I am here."

The person with the most gentle eyes in the world said so, wrapped his arms around his shoulders, and kissed behind his ear.

"What did you dream about again, Xiuzhi-kun? It's all right now."

......what.

Dazai blinked, looking at the curtain swaying in the wind and the bright sky outside the window.

The person behind grabbed his shoulders.

Just now, it was a dream.

He's here.He is by my side.

I. .....not alone.

The bottom of his heart was suddenly filled with eye-piercing warmth, Dazai sniffed, turned around, shrunk his body into a smaller ball, hugged the person in front of him, and retracted into his arms.

"...I dreamed of the firework festival before. You weren't here. You're too light a sleeper. I don't have the habit of talking in my sleep."

"...I'll know when you're having nightmares, wouldn't it be great?"

Now that I said this, my forehead was pressed against myself, and my hands were gently patted behind my back. The extremely stable heat was transmitted through the fabric of the pajamas, and flowed into the heart that was riddled with holes, so it grew and beat again.

"Sorry, I couldn't accompany you before. It's only two days away. This year's Fireworks Festival, I will go with you, okay?"

"...it's dealt." "Well, it's dealt. Now, go to sleep, baby. Have a sweet dream."

"...um. Good night, Mr. Today."

Dazai said softly.

"Don't let go."

——Please don't let go of these hands that are holding me.forever.

The author has something to say:

What about the long-lost knife?

Although the whole thing is connected with reality as a dream, it all happened for real.

"You will see him again." There, a knife was stabbing Zai's heart.

——Fortune tellers take advantage of the psychology that everyone likes to hear good things, and generally say so.

What, "see you again". "It will be found". (After all, existence is easier to prove than its negative proposition, and the probability of never seeing each other in a lifetime is too small. Moreover, this sentence of the fortune teller itself will make the other party pay more attention to the various movements of the person in question, and then promote their meeting .)

But it is no longer possible.

Because they are separated forever.

He is a Jae between Hei Shi and Butei, who will talk to the little girl gently and softly, and will think "Is it a liar" coldly while admitting the possibility that the old lady is actually out of good intentions.

But is the old lady just comforting him, or does she really know something hehehe

(I set it up privately as a folk master who really has the ability to predict hhhh)

I don't know why the second half of the words can't be saved, so I put it in the comments.