winter silence
Chapter 4
Zhang Wei searched for Xu Cen'an 540 for six days, but there was no news from Xu Cen'an for a year and a half.
Zhang Wei smoked more and more fiercely, his former rebelliousness was subdued, and he became more and more taciturn.He felt as if he had suddenly fallen from a high place, and he had been falling weightlessly, and he didn't know when he would reach the bottom.
At first, Zhang Wei felt that he would see Xu Cen'an again soon, so he prepared a lot of excuses and bought an apology gift.He vowed to coax him back, try his best to make up, and get together with Xu Cen'an, and they will have a better start.He is uneasy and full of ambition. The process may be a little tortuous, but he believes that he will be understood and forgiven.
Later, Zhang Wei used many connections, but there was still no news of Xu Cen'an.He began to be overwhelmed by longing, he didn't have the heart to do things every day, and lived a decadent and exhausted life.Zhang Wei began to fear that Xu Cen'an would not talk to him after meeting again, and began to doubt whether he could be forgiven.The apology draft was revised over and over again in his heart, and then questioned and overturned by himself over and over again.
Later, Zhang Wei thought of all the methods, even begged strangers, showed many jokes to others, but still got nothing, Xu Cen'an disappeared from his world.
But in the information age, Xu Cen'an used to be an actor. After his announcement of resignation, many people are still lamenting how he disappeared without a trace.How can a person with poor hearing and no money survive.
Zhang Wei began to worry belatedly whether Xu Cen'an would have left forever in a corner he could not see.But he hasn't told Xu Cen'an what he wants, nor has he apologized to Xu Cen'an, for his cowardice and deceit back then, and for his arrogance and prejudice today.
Zhang Wei was anxious every day and couldn't sleep well. He often lay on the side where Xu Cen'an had slept, and kept his eyes open until dawn.
Xu Cen'an didn't take away his mobile phone, it was Zhang Wei who changed it for him when they first got together, and he didn't take away all the expensive gifts that Zhang Wei bought him.
Zhang Wei read the messages sent by Xu Cen'an over and over again, and could read a few words all night.Xu Cen'an seemed to be very polite and distant from everyone, he didn't have any close friends, and he didn't have any special hobbies.
Contrary to the stern real name notes, Xu Cen'an's note to Zhang Wei is a heart.Zhang Wei stared at this red heart and regretted it every night when he couldn't sleep, his heart hurt and he couldn't bear to look away.
What he once got was a cold and indifferent person with an incomparably precious sincerity.Even if he is the culprit of Xu Cen'an's hearing problems, he is a cowardly liar and a businessman who is greedy for sex.
Zhang Wei used to like those who act like a baby, those who are innocent and lively, and those who love to cling to him. Xu Cen'an obviously didn't match him at all, but he was so addicted to Xu Cen'an's skin that he couldn't help himself.
At first, he felt that Xu Cen'an was treating him well, to please him, to curry favor with him.He gave Xu Cen'an a lot of money, their deal was fair and reasonable, he took it for granted, and responded carelessly and arrogantly.
Later, Xu Cen'an would kiss him secretly in the morning, and would smile when he saw him, and he discovered the hidden expectation and love.It's really hard for a cold person to unload his heart, he got it.
He clearly knew that he secretly liked him, but still deliberately hurt him like that.
Zhang Wei saw the photos posted by Xu Keyu, their intimate group photos that were easily misunderstood, and the yin and yang ridicule. After Xu Keyu knew about their relationship, they never stopped.
Zhang Wei also saw that the male lead who was mentioned casually by him, who should have been insignificant, relied on his power to constantly provoke and bully Xu Cen'an.
Zhang Wei is no longer willing to attend various wine bureaus, nor does he want to see Xu Keyu again.He hated those bad things, hated the people who bullied Xu Cen'an, hated Xu Keyu, and hated himself even more.
Years of regret made Zhang Wei breathless. He drank alone, and suddenly his arm was held by Xu Keyu, whom he hadn't seen for a long time.Xu Keyu's tone was affectionate, coquettish and resentful, "Brother Wei, I've asked you out several times and haven't come, why are you still sitting and drinking alone?"
Zhang Wei pulled his arm out, his face was gloomy, and he didn't want to speak.
The young master, who was used to being hugged and coaxed, ran into walls many times and was already upset. Xu Keyu couldn't control his temper anymore. He vented his dissatisfaction loudly and confidently, "Are you still looking for Xu Cen'an? A stinking butt seller Is it worth your trouble? After searching for so long and can't find it, maybe he died in some corner, just like his bitch!"
Zhang Wei seemed to have been touched by Ni Lin in an instant, he stood up suddenly, grabbed Xu Keyu's neck and leaned against the table.Zhang Wei looked down at Xu Keyu, who was blushing, feeling strange and sad.He didn't seem to know the younger brother in front of him who had played with him since he was a child, and he couldn't connect his face with those vicious words.
It turns out that those who love to be coquettish, innocent and lively, clingy, may also be outspoken, vicious, arrogant and rude.
He hid Bai Yan who had repeatedly provoked Xu Cen'an, and withdrew the financing for Xu's family and the resources promised to Xu Keyu.He broke with many people, but how would he punish himself?
After all, he is no different from them, the same executioner.
Zhang Wei searched for Xu Cen'an for more than 500 days, which was long enough for him to think through many things. His repeated confessions and longings were meaningless, like letters that could never be sent.
Today is Xu Cen'an's birthday again.
At this time the year before last, Xu Cen'an should have cooked a table of his favorite dishes, bought cakes, and waited for him to have dinner together when he came back.
Because he saw it in the trash can the next day, the perfect, messy box of cakes.
For Xu Cen'an's birthday, the cake he bought for himself was Zhang Wei's favorite dish.
In fact, Xu Cen'an is not very good at cooking, he just learns and sells according to the recipes, and was teased by Zhang Wei that he finally became a qualified little lover and would take the initiative to please him.
That day, Xu Cen'an was busy in the kitchen all afternoon, what was he doing when he was going to celebrate his birthday with him.
He talked and laughed with Xu Keyu in the office.
Zhang Wei imagined that Xu Cen'an was sitting on the sofa he often sat on, waiting for him motionless.
He felt too much pain in his heart, as if he couldn't stay here any longer.
But if he moves out from here, it seems to mean that he and Xu Cen'an really broke up.
They mistakenly begin a relationship of inequality that is exacerbated by ulterior motives and malice.
Zhang Wei realized that he had never thought about Xu Cen'an, he had never thought about what caused Xu Cen'an's indifference and alienation.He cut off Xu Cen'an's wings, thinking that he only needed to build a beautiful cage. He never thought about letting Xu Cen'an fly again.
The phone rang for a long time before Zhang Wei pulled away from his thoughts.He rubbed his fingers nervously after seeing the name, hesitating and uneasy for a while.
"Hey, Mr. Zhang. The matter you asked me to investigate years ago has some clues. I'm sorry, my wife rarely takes an annual leave. I accompanied him on a trip abroad, which delayed your business."
"It's okay." Zhang Wei's voice was tense, he could barely maintain his politeness, and asked restraintly, "Did you find him?"
"Well, you should be familiar with the address, and you may have been there. Xu Cen'an is now working as a nurse at Xu Zhiye's home for Mr. Xu. You know, the Xu family makes medical equipment. They have a cooperative project with the hospital. Give some Patients who have no money receive free treatment, and then these patients will go to the nursing home opened by Xu's family to do volunteer work."
"Xu Cen'an worked as a volunteer in a nursing home for a period of time. Mr. Xu likes him very much. After Xu Jin got out of the nursing home, he invited him to his home and has been arranging people to treat him."
"So it's not surprising that you can't find Xu Cen'an, he rarely goes out."
Before the phone was hung up, it was already dark outside, but Zhang Wei didn't feel it, he picked up the key and hurriedly planned to go out.As soon as he reached the entrance, he heard the person on the opposite side add unhurriedly, "But Mr. Zhang, I still suggest you to be prepared. I'll help you hack into Xu Cen'an's psychotherapy records by the way."
"Psychiatric treatment? Is Cen An okay?" Zhang Wei broke his voice in fright, he stopped in his tracks, and thought of something bad.
"Don't be nervous, it's not depression. Xu Cen'an said it was because of hearing impairment. In fact, his hearing problem is not physical. There is no surgery to treat it. He just has a serious psychological disorder, so we looked in the wrong direction at first. gone."
"What kind of mental disorder." Zhang Wei felt as if he had fallen into an ice cellar, so uncomfortable that he couldn't breathe freely.
"I looked at the psychiatrist's diagnosis. When he was very young, the experience of being suspected made his subconscious hope to prove that he was not lying, and the long-term environment without sound exacerbated the nervous tinnitus. Two For some reason, his brain automatically refused to accept the sound."
"However, his hearing problem has been alleviated to a certain extent at present, and he is no longer completely deaf. The psychiatrist's diagnosis suggestion is that if he can be firmly chosen, trusted, or loved, his situation will be better. a lot of."
"Mr. Zhang, my personal suggestion is that you'd better be prepared before you go to see him. You probably don't want your rash appearance to cause secondary harm, after all, you didn't get along very well before."
"Oh, by the way, it might be a bit presumptuous. For Xu Cen'an's sake, you might as well not see him. My wife asked me to convey this sentence."
"Of course, it's just a small suggestion. I guess you will still go."
Zhang Wei stood at the porch and didn't move for a long time.
no moss
The caller is Fu Sheng, and the wife who is on long vacation is Jing Yi (^ー゜)
Zhang Wei smoked more and more fiercely, his former rebelliousness was subdued, and he became more and more taciturn.He felt as if he had suddenly fallen from a high place, and he had been falling weightlessly, and he didn't know when he would reach the bottom.
At first, Zhang Wei felt that he would see Xu Cen'an again soon, so he prepared a lot of excuses and bought an apology gift.He vowed to coax him back, try his best to make up, and get together with Xu Cen'an, and they will have a better start.He is uneasy and full of ambition. The process may be a little tortuous, but he believes that he will be understood and forgiven.
Later, Zhang Wei used many connections, but there was still no news of Xu Cen'an.He began to be overwhelmed by longing, he didn't have the heart to do things every day, and lived a decadent and exhausted life.Zhang Wei began to fear that Xu Cen'an would not talk to him after meeting again, and began to doubt whether he could be forgiven.The apology draft was revised over and over again in his heart, and then questioned and overturned by himself over and over again.
Later, Zhang Wei thought of all the methods, even begged strangers, showed many jokes to others, but still got nothing, Xu Cen'an disappeared from his world.
But in the information age, Xu Cen'an used to be an actor. After his announcement of resignation, many people are still lamenting how he disappeared without a trace.How can a person with poor hearing and no money survive.
Zhang Wei began to worry belatedly whether Xu Cen'an would have left forever in a corner he could not see.But he hasn't told Xu Cen'an what he wants, nor has he apologized to Xu Cen'an, for his cowardice and deceit back then, and for his arrogance and prejudice today.
Zhang Wei was anxious every day and couldn't sleep well. He often lay on the side where Xu Cen'an had slept, and kept his eyes open until dawn.
Xu Cen'an didn't take away his mobile phone, it was Zhang Wei who changed it for him when they first got together, and he didn't take away all the expensive gifts that Zhang Wei bought him.
Zhang Wei read the messages sent by Xu Cen'an over and over again, and could read a few words all night.Xu Cen'an seemed to be very polite and distant from everyone, he didn't have any close friends, and he didn't have any special hobbies.
Contrary to the stern real name notes, Xu Cen'an's note to Zhang Wei is a heart.Zhang Wei stared at this red heart and regretted it every night when he couldn't sleep, his heart hurt and he couldn't bear to look away.
What he once got was a cold and indifferent person with an incomparably precious sincerity.Even if he is the culprit of Xu Cen'an's hearing problems, he is a cowardly liar and a businessman who is greedy for sex.
Zhang Wei used to like those who act like a baby, those who are innocent and lively, and those who love to cling to him. Xu Cen'an obviously didn't match him at all, but he was so addicted to Xu Cen'an's skin that he couldn't help himself.
At first, he felt that Xu Cen'an was treating him well, to please him, to curry favor with him.He gave Xu Cen'an a lot of money, their deal was fair and reasonable, he took it for granted, and responded carelessly and arrogantly.
Later, Xu Cen'an would kiss him secretly in the morning, and would smile when he saw him, and he discovered the hidden expectation and love.It's really hard for a cold person to unload his heart, he got it.
He clearly knew that he secretly liked him, but still deliberately hurt him like that.
Zhang Wei saw the photos posted by Xu Keyu, their intimate group photos that were easily misunderstood, and the yin and yang ridicule. After Xu Keyu knew about their relationship, they never stopped.
Zhang Wei also saw that the male lead who was mentioned casually by him, who should have been insignificant, relied on his power to constantly provoke and bully Xu Cen'an.
Zhang Wei is no longer willing to attend various wine bureaus, nor does he want to see Xu Keyu again.He hated those bad things, hated the people who bullied Xu Cen'an, hated Xu Keyu, and hated himself even more.
Years of regret made Zhang Wei breathless. He drank alone, and suddenly his arm was held by Xu Keyu, whom he hadn't seen for a long time.Xu Keyu's tone was affectionate, coquettish and resentful, "Brother Wei, I've asked you out several times and haven't come, why are you still sitting and drinking alone?"
Zhang Wei pulled his arm out, his face was gloomy, and he didn't want to speak.
The young master, who was used to being hugged and coaxed, ran into walls many times and was already upset. Xu Keyu couldn't control his temper anymore. He vented his dissatisfaction loudly and confidently, "Are you still looking for Xu Cen'an? A stinking butt seller Is it worth your trouble? After searching for so long and can't find it, maybe he died in some corner, just like his bitch!"
Zhang Wei seemed to have been touched by Ni Lin in an instant, he stood up suddenly, grabbed Xu Keyu's neck and leaned against the table.Zhang Wei looked down at Xu Keyu, who was blushing, feeling strange and sad.He didn't seem to know the younger brother in front of him who had played with him since he was a child, and he couldn't connect his face with those vicious words.
It turns out that those who love to be coquettish, innocent and lively, clingy, may also be outspoken, vicious, arrogant and rude.
He hid Bai Yan who had repeatedly provoked Xu Cen'an, and withdrew the financing for Xu's family and the resources promised to Xu Keyu.He broke with many people, but how would he punish himself?
After all, he is no different from them, the same executioner.
Zhang Wei searched for Xu Cen'an for more than 500 days, which was long enough for him to think through many things. His repeated confessions and longings were meaningless, like letters that could never be sent.
Today is Xu Cen'an's birthday again.
At this time the year before last, Xu Cen'an should have cooked a table of his favorite dishes, bought cakes, and waited for him to have dinner together when he came back.
Because he saw it in the trash can the next day, the perfect, messy box of cakes.
For Xu Cen'an's birthday, the cake he bought for himself was Zhang Wei's favorite dish.
In fact, Xu Cen'an is not very good at cooking, he just learns and sells according to the recipes, and was teased by Zhang Wei that he finally became a qualified little lover and would take the initiative to please him.
That day, Xu Cen'an was busy in the kitchen all afternoon, what was he doing when he was going to celebrate his birthday with him.
He talked and laughed with Xu Keyu in the office.
Zhang Wei imagined that Xu Cen'an was sitting on the sofa he often sat on, waiting for him motionless.
He felt too much pain in his heart, as if he couldn't stay here any longer.
But if he moves out from here, it seems to mean that he and Xu Cen'an really broke up.
They mistakenly begin a relationship of inequality that is exacerbated by ulterior motives and malice.
Zhang Wei realized that he had never thought about Xu Cen'an, he had never thought about what caused Xu Cen'an's indifference and alienation.He cut off Xu Cen'an's wings, thinking that he only needed to build a beautiful cage. He never thought about letting Xu Cen'an fly again.
The phone rang for a long time before Zhang Wei pulled away from his thoughts.He rubbed his fingers nervously after seeing the name, hesitating and uneasy for a while.
"Hey, Mr. Zhang. The matter you asked me to investigate years ago has some clues. I'm sorry, my wife rarely takes an annual leave. I accompanied him on a trip abroad, which delayed your business."
"It's okay." Zhang Wei's voice was tense, he could barely maintain his politeness, and asked restraintly, "Did you find him?"
"Well, you should be familiar with the address, and you may have been there. Xu Cen'an is now working as a nurse at Xu Zhiye's home for Mr. Xu. You know, the Xu family makes medical equipment. They have a cooperative project with the hospital. Give some Patients who have no money receive free treatment, and then these patients will go to the nursing home opened by Xu's family to do volunteer work."
"Xu Cen'an worked as a volunteer in a nursing home for a period of time. Mr. Xu likes him very much. After Xu Jin got out of the nursing home, he invited him to his home and has been arranging people to treat him."
"So it's not surprising that you can't find Xu Cen'an, he rarely goes out."
Before the phone was hung up, it was already dark outside, but Zhang Wei didn't feel it, he picked up the key and hurriedly planned to go out.As soon as he reached the entrance, he heard the person on the opposite side add unhurriedly, "But Mr. Zhang, I still suggest you to be prepared. I'll help you hack into Xu Cen'an's psychotherapy records by the way."
"Psychiatric treatment? Is Cen An okay?" Zhang Wei broke his voice in fright, he stopped in his tracks, and thought of something bad.
"Don't be nervous, it's not depression. Xu Cen'an said it was because of hearing impairment. In fact, his hearing problem is not physical. There is no surgery to treat it. He just has a serious psychological disorder, so we looked in the wrong direction at first. gone."
"What kind of mental disorder." Zhang Wei felt as if he had fallen into an ice cellar, so uncomfortable that he couldn't breathe freely.
"I looked at the psychiatrist's diagnosis. When he was very young, the experience of being suspected made his subconscious hope to prove that he was not lying, and the long-term environment without sound exacerbated the nervous tinnitus. Two For some reason, his brain automatically refused to accept the sound."
"However, his hearing problem has been alleviated to a certain extent at present, and he is no longer completely deaf. The psychiatrist's diagnosis suggestion is that if he can be firmly chosen, trusted, or loved, his situation will be better. a lot of."
"Mr. Zhang, my personal suggestion is that you'd better be prepared before you go to see him. You probably don't want your rash appearance to cause secondary harm, after all, you didn't get along very well before."
"Oh, by the way, it might be a bit presumptuous. For Xu Cen'an's sake, you might as well not see him. My wife asked me to convey this sentence."
"Of course, it's just a small suggestion. I guess you will still go."
Zhang Wei stood at the porch and didn't move for a long time.
no moss
The caller is Fu Sheng, and the wife who is on long vacation is Jing Yi (^ー゜)
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