my kind of person

In the quiet bedroom late at night, Xiao Yi's heart was beating violently.

After what happened today, Xiao Yi can no longer ignore who this heartbeat is for.

The feeling Xie Zixin gave him was different from others. Xie Zixin's sad and painful appearance made Xiao Yi feel unprecedented pain.More than anyone else, he wants Xie Zixin to get rid of the shadow of the past as soon as possible, to live a new life, and to strive for what he wants.

Before he knew it, Xie Zixin had already occupied a large part of his heart, which was still expanding.

After drinking the milk, Xie Zixin was going to sleep, but Xiao Yi stood motionless by the tatami, just looking at him.Xie Zixin was nervous and at a loss, wondering why Xiao Yi didn't go back to sleep or do his own things, so he said, "Rest early."

Xiao Yi didn't answer, but turned around and sat down on the tatami, and said, "If you encounter anything in the future, tell me immediately, okay?"

Xie Zixin opened his mouth, but in the end he didn't say anything, just nodded. Anyway, no matter what Xiao Yi said, he agreed on the surface, and whether he really did it or not is another matter.

Looking at Xie Zixin's appearance, Xiao Yi could guess what was going on in his heart, he was just afraid of bothering himself and making himself unhappy.But if I really said it, I was afraid that I would show my face immediately, so I had no choice but to agree first, then turned my head, and I must take care of everything by myself.

"What you have nodded must be done." Xiao Yi shook his shoulder, making him look up at himself, "I won't take trouble."

Xie Zixin looked at him, and finally said quietly: "You don't have to do this, I said last time, you have helped me enough. Xiao Yi, I saved your sister, this time you came to save me ,already……"

"Enough? Is it even?" Xiao Yi interrupted him, "Why do you make things so clear?"

"...It doesn't make sense for you to do this."

"What if I say yes?" Xiao Yi stared at him firmly, and said firmly, "What if I say that everything I do has nothing to do with wanting to repay you? Is it because I want to do it myself?"

Xie Zixin obviously didn't expect Xiao Yi to answer him like this, and his expression was a little dazed for a while, as if he didn't believe what he heard.

"I will want to see you, I will want to talk to you, I will be very worried when I can't contact you, and I will desperately find you because of one position, why do you think this is?" Xiao Yi said loudly, "You don't Just because you believe something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”

This moment stretched infinitely in Xie Zixin's memory. Every day in the future, no matter how long it had passed, in retrospect, this moment was thrilling and made him forget to breathe.

Xiao Yi stared at him and said hoarsely, "I really like you."

Xie Zixin stared blankly at Xiao Yi, as if he couldn't understand the word he said that was too far away in his opinion. In the young age he experienced, there were really people who would say these two words to him. Too few, people who have said it, also leave him.But now, he never thought that the person who would say these two words to him would actually tell him that he likes himself.

At that moment, Xie Zixin's eyes showed great surprise and panic.

Cold sweat oozes from the palms of his hands, the first time he took the initiative to grab Xiao Yi's hand, his fingers trembled violently.

"Xiao Yi, is it because of me? Did I influence you?" Xie Zixin pressed his arm tightly, his expression was shrouded in anxiety and uneasiness, "I'm sorry...you...go ahead and like girls, don't like me Kind of person...I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I've been around you all the time, I...I'm sorry...Xiao Yi, don't like me...don't delay your business because of me...please..."

The more Xie Zixin spoke, the more he choked up. In the end, he bent down, and tears fell on the back of Xiao Yi's hand one by one. This was not what he wanted. He just wanted to look at him from afar. Xiao Yi's family is so beautiful. He is so outstanding, and there are so many outstanding girls who are suitable for him, why does he like himself?

It's all because of him. If it wasn't for him, Xiao Yi would never have that kind of affection for a boy. He just wants Xiao Yi to live a normal life, exams, graduation, love, family, he will have an excellent life , and himself, he was like the snow that shrouded his shadow but was fortunately not melted, he never owed himself anything.

Only I owe him too much.

If he could do it all over again, he would rather that Xiao Yi didn't get on that bus that winter night, and he would disappear from this world, never meet Xiao Yi, and not bring trouble to anyone.

"Xie Zixin, you..."

Xiao Yi suddenly became angry, and even his voice became hoarse. He really didn't understand, how could there be such a person as Xie Zixin in the world!

He pulled Xie Zixin up, looked at his flushed cheeks and eyes, and felt pain in his heart as if a layer of dripping flesh had been abruptly peeled off.

When he said he liked her, his first reaction was panic instead of joy. How far did Xie Zixin push himself to suppress his feelings to be so insignificant.

Xiao Yi knew that he hadn't graduated from high school yet, so he was still very young, but he knew better that he couldn't let go of such thoughts. He would be happy and throbbing when he saw Xie Zixin, and he would feel that he was prettier than others, and he would be worried. He, hold injustice for him, will want to do everything he can for him.

And when he saw Xie Zixin who was crying at this moment, his heartache would be unbearable.

For the first time, Xiao Yi didn't want to care about the future. He just wanted Xie Zixin to understand that he was very important, that he could be excellent, that he was not dispensable, and that he was not "someone like me" as he said.

"How many times do I have to tell you to understand!" Xiao Yi shouted, "Don't feel inferior, okay? Those who belittled you before have nothing to do with you! Do you really believe my words? Well, let me tell you You, you are better than you imagined, much better, I like you, my brother also admires you, our family, my aunt's family like you very much. Not only us, but also Xu Xiaona, and the barber shop near your home The proprietress, and many people, they all think you are very good. Do you understand? What is it about you that I don't deserve my liking?!"

Xie Zixin was shocked by Xiao Yi's sound, but he still didn't speak, just sat quietly.

Xiao Yi: "Tell me, what do you think is wrong with you?"

Xie Zixin replied stiffly: "...my grades are not good."

"How could your grades in vocational high school get better?" Xiao Yi retorted, "When you transfer to another school, you still have three years to study."

"I'll fight someone else."

"If someone hits you, there is nothing wrong with you hitting back."

"The conditions in my family are not good."

"What kind of shortcoming is this? You have lived alone for so long, and you are much better than me. I spend my parents' money on everything I eat and wear. It's nothing special."

"I'm withdrawn." Xie Zixin said in a deep voice, "I have a bad personality."

Xiao Yi couldn't bear it anymore, he held Xie Zixin's cheek with both hands, the place where he started was wet, and his palms were full of his tears.

Xiao Yi was taken aback by the warm touch, and everything he wanted to say was choked up in his throat. He understood that it might be useless to say anything now. Xie Zixin would not believe him in this matter alone, not I want him to be impulsive.

What Xiao Yi should do is to talk less and do more, and let him understand slowly.

Xiao Yi hugged Xie Zixin into his arms. Xie Zixin struggled for a while at first, his body was very stiff, but in the end he probably couldn't resist Xiao Yi's hug, so he calmed down.

Xie Zixin was still uneasy: "You obviously... You obviously like girls, and when Qian Junhao took your photo for P-picture, you were very angry."

"I was angry with that photo because he put me with a stranger P and spread rumors on the Internet. I would be angry even if it was a woman." Xiao Yi sighed, "During this time, I carefully After thinking about it, if you want to be a lover with intimacy, of course I can accept girls, and boys... I don’t seem to find it difficult to accept. Of course, regardless of gender, the premise is that I like the person. If not, then I can't accept it."

Xie Zixin: "...you will be in the third year of high school next semester, which will affect your studies."

Xiao Yi took a deep breath: "The way you are now really affects me."

Xie Zixin's eyes were red, he lowered his head and said nothing.

Xiao Yi said depressedly: "Aren't you happy at all?"

Xie Zixin's body trembled. He didn't feel that he had the right to be happy, because what Xiao Yi said was impossible to realize. On the contrary, because he knew about it, he felt guilty and panicked.

However, Xiao Yi is the person he likes, he said he started to like himself, how could Xie Zixin remain indifferent?Putting aside those worries and fears, he also felt great joy at that moment, but Xie Zixin is used to not caring about his emotions.

"I have..." Xie Zixin replied, "But..."

"As long as you have it." Xiao Yi said, "There is no need to say anything else."

In Xiao Yi's view, Xie Zixin's mental state is really abnormal. Even though he looks like an ordinary person on the surface, when encountering such a thing, he becomes distorted and depressed, killing his feelings anytime and anywhere.

Anyway, it will be a long time in the future, he can accompany him and change him slowly.

He must not let Xie Zixin have too much psychological burden, even if he starts with friends.

"Let's start with friends first, okay?" Xiao Yi asked him tentatively, "If I regret it, or find that I still can't accept boys, I will definitely tell you right away."

Xie Zixin was silent for a long time, what Xiao Yi said did make him feel a little relaxed.

He knew that Xiao Yi might just be on a whim now, maybe he was just curious, maybe he just wanted to find some fun in him that he had never experienced before, maybe it was just an illusion created because they had been together for too long and experienced so many things.

One day, maybe next month, next week, or even tomorrow morning, Xiao Yi will regret it.

That being the case, can I really despicably go through this period of time to hypnotize myself?Although he already knew what the result would be, this memory in the future will be a great comfort to him for the rest of his life.

Xie Zixin felt confused and struggling, but his heart was already close to Xiao Yi.

After a long time, Xie Zixin finally raised his head.

"Then you promise me that if you regret it even a little bit, you won't tell me because of guilt." Xie Zixin grabbed Xiao Yi's cuff and stared at him, "I will definitely stay away from you, won't embarrass you."

"Okay, I promise you." Xiao Yi replied, "But you must also promise me that you will not avoid me on purpose."

Xie Zixin hesitated and said, "Yes."

"You just treat me as a friend normally, and do whatever you want."

"...I have never made friends."

Xiao Yi let out a "tsk", but there was nothing he could do about Xie Zixin, and said: "Your most natural state is the best, if you have something to say, just say it, don't hold it in your heart, and don't think wildly, you know?"

Xie Zixin looked at Xiao Yi and finally nodded.