Doctor, I'm really sick

The old lady's house is at the foot of the mountain, a low, slightly dilapidated, but clean small tile-roofed house.Standing in front of the brick house, Chu Sinian felt strangely familiar.But when I think about it carefully, I can't think of anything.

Qin Zhao knocked on the concealed courtyard door.The old lady was sitting in the yard, as if she was waiting for someone, when she heard the noise, she opened her eyes.

"Yes, is it the year?"

"Nian Nian" was Chu Sinian's nickname. After Jiang Qin's accident, Chu Sinian hadn't heard anyone call him like that for many years.He was slightly taken aback, and then hesitantly said: "...It's me, mother-in-law?"

The old lady leaned in front of him tremblingly, reached out and touched Chu Sinian's hand, her cloudy eyes were full of joy and excitement, she kept saying "Okay! Okay!", and big tears rolled down.

Qin Zhao was beside him, reminding with a smile: "Mother-in-law, don't you have photos for Niannian to see?"

Chu Sinian gave Qin Zhao a strange look.He helped the old woman into the room, and the old woman pointed to the wooden frame hanging on the wall: "Take it down and have a look."

Chu Sinian took down the wooden frame.There were more than a dozen yellow and old photos in the wooden frame, one of which was a young woman with a good face, holding a cute newborn baby.Chu Sinian recognized at a glance that the woman in the photo was Jiang Qin when she was young.

And the baby in her arms...

Chu Sinian looked at the old woman in shock: "Grandma, why do you have this photo? Do you know my mother?"

"It's more than just acquaintance. Alas, I'm sorry for her and made her suffer like this..." The old woman sighed, and gently patted Chu Sinian's hand:

"I'm your mother's neighbor, your mother, I watched her grow up. I feel ashamed of her. So, let me tell you what Ah Qin didn't have time to tell you."

The old woman caressed, and slowly sat on the wicker chair.Her hair was all white, and the light outside the window made her shadow very, very long.

"Your mother, Aqin, was a well-known beauty in the city back then. Everyone said that she was so beautiful, she would marry a good man. But who knows, Aqin married flowers on cow dung? It was given to a nouveau riche in our town who made his fortune by speculation. Although the family is rich, their character is very bad. Everyone said that it was Aqin who fell in love with their money. Only I live close to their family. I know, Aqin was not willing at all at the time. It was Aqin's family who forced Aqin to marry for the tens of thousands of dowry gifts at that time.

The old woman wiped her tears and continued:

"Ah Qin gave birth to a full-term little boy just half a year after her marriage. Only then did the upstart family find out that Aqin was pregnant when she married. Their family was so angry that they immediately grabbed Aqin She wanted to go to her natal family to ask for an explanation. But Aqin’s natal family had already taken Aqin’s dowry to build a house for her son in the city, and ran away packed up. The upstarts couldn’t find anyone, so they had to take Aqin and The child vented his anger. He was whipped with a belt, beaten with a brick, and yelled all day long, saying that he would drown that little bastard..."

Chu Sinian clenched the armrest of the chair unconsciously, his fingertips felt cold.In the depths of his memory, something seemed to be awakening dimly.

The woman's screams, the children's cries, the overwhelming pain...

Chu Sinian heard from the director of the orphanage that he had a serious illness when he was a child.All his memories started after that illness.

So what the mother-in-law said was his memory before entering the orphanage?

He had never heard of such a past from Jiang Qin's mouth.

Chu Sinian's face turned slightly pale.

However, at this moment, a pair of dry and warm big hands covered him in time, wrapping his hand gently in the palm of his hand.

"Don't be afraid."

Qin Zhao's voice reassured Chu Sinian, his face regained some color, and he nodded to Qin Zhao.

"Aqin couldn't bear the beating. She was not reliable from her mother's family, so she sneaked here to complain and treated me as her good sister. Only then did I know that Aqin was dating a good-looking pianist back then. Good friends. They were planning to get married, but the pianist died in an accident. A Qin was already pregnant with the pianist's child. It was a shameful thing to conceive before marriage. A Qin's family was afraid that they would not be able to marry their daughter, so they posted A small one, losing money, that's why Ah Qin was forced to marry that upstart."

"That nouveau riche family put all their anger on Aqin and you. It's okay to be beaten and scolded on weekdays. When you are sick, the heartless family will not even pay for the treatment, and say that you can't spend it. Give money to someone else to raise their son. When you were three years old, you had a fever and couldn’t speak. Aqin knelt down and begged that man, but still didn’t have any money. In desperation, Aqin had no choice but to beg me... "

As the old woman spoke, her voice suddenly choked up, almost breaking down in tears: "But at that time, I, I..."

Chu Sinian patted the old woman's back gently: "It's okay, it's over, I don't blame you."

Although the old lady didn't say anything, Chu Sinian had already guessed it.Since he will grow up in the orphanage, it must be because...

"It was difficult for me back then. The family wanted you to die sooner. If I save you, the family is rich and powerful, and they will definitely not let me go..." The old woman sobbed: "I really have no choice, so I had to point A Qin The best way is to let her go to the children's welfare home in the city, where the conditions are good, and she won't die without help..."

Chu Sinian listened quietly to the old lady's narration, and her words gradually formed a complete picture in Chu Sinian's mind:

That day, the woman was covered with bruises, and she had no money to ride in a car, so she had to carry her child on her back and walked for a day before staggering to the gate of the children's welfare home in the city.

It was raining, and she anxiously knocked on the big iron door with all her strength.The little boy had a high fever and couldn't even stand up, but he still obediently knocked on the door for his mother with his little hand.Although he doesn't know what his mother is going to do.

The rain was so loud that it took a long time for anyone to hear the sound.The woman turned and ran.The little boy didn't understand why, and he grabbed her by the corner of her clothes with all his strength, his big black eyes were full of horror.

"Mom, don't you want me?"

The woman didn't say a word, she just opened the little boy's fingers, turned around and rushed into the rain.

"Mom, don't go!"

The little boy's shrill cry passed through the vast sea of ​​smoke for more than 20 years, hitting Chu Sinian's eardrums again.Chu Sinian frowned and held his forehead.

"Are you okay?" Qin Zhao asked worriedly.

Chu Sinian pursed his lips and shook his head.

The serious illness in childhood buried this memory in the deepest part of Chu Sinian's heart.Chu Sinian finally understood why he was so resentful when he learned that Jiang Qin was his biological mother.Although the memory is gone, the pain of being abandoned by my mother when I was a child is still unforgettable.

It's just that he didn't know until now that he wasn't the only one suffering.

It turned out that Jiang Qin didn't abandon him, but wanted to save him.

It turned out that he had misunderstood Jiang Qin for so many years.

"The last time I saw Aqin was when she came back to organize the funeral for her heartless parents. Aqin told me that she finally managed to get divorced and married a reliable and rich man. Aqin said, She has brought you back. Aqin said that you are very obedient and grateful, but Aqin said that the more you are like this, the less she dares to recognize you. I also didn't understand Aqin at the time, why didn't she refuse to recognize herself Ah Qin told me with tears that she was afraid to tell you the truth, and you would hate her. She originally planned to tell you about it when you were an adult, but she didn't expect... oh... a crime , in the final analysis, it's all my fault, if it wasn't for my courage, if..."

The old woman sobbed and fell into deep self-blame.Chu Si tenderly stroked the old woman's back, but his eyes were fixed on the picture in the wooden frame.

"It's all over, isn't it?"

He said to the old woman, but also to himself.

********

Jiang Qin's cemetery was quickly settled, a simple white marble tomb, backed by a tall peach tree.The peach blossoms have already passed the season, and they are basically defeated, but the green leaves have grown out, full of vitality.

The old woman said that Jiang Qin was under such a tall peach tree, waiting every day for the young man who could play the piano beautifully.

The sun was exceptionally good this day.Chu Sinian squinted his eyes, quietly looking at Jiang Qin's gentle smiling face on the tombstone.

Chu Sinian remembered that every time he celebrated his birthday when he was a child, the director of the orphanage would secretly slip him a small gift.This gift was once a hand-knitted sweater, another time a book, some a toy car, and another time it turned out to be a children's electronic organ.This gift is something that no other child in the orphanage has ever had.Chu Sinian always thought that this was the dean's preference for him.

But thinking about it now, there might be another possibility.It's just that he couldn't go to Jiang Qin for verification.

Chu Sinian carefully held the urn, placed it in the tomb, and put a photo on the urn.

It was a photo given to him by the old lady before leaving.In the photo, the young Jiang Qin is holding the baby Chu Sinian, smiling nervously and shyly.

This is the first time Chu Si saw Jiang Qin's young photo.Jiang Qin liked taking pictures very much during her lifetime. She had many photo albums, but there was never a single photo of her before she was 30 years old.It was only now that Chu Sinian realized that it was not that Jiang Qin didn't have photos from that time, but that she buried the photos of that time, together with that painful memory, in her heart.

She couldn't bear to be a mother who abandoned her own flesh and blood.She has always been deeply ashamed.That's why she dressed herself up as a beautiful and gentle adoptive mother, deceiving herself and her son.

Chu Sinian looked up at the sun.The sun was so bright that it was almost dazzling, Chu Sinian felt that his eyes were watery, and when he touched his cheek, it turned out to be tears.

"Tell me," Chu Sinian wiped his face and smiled sadly, "Is my mother a little silly?"

Qin Zhao gently wiped off Chu Sinian's tears with his fingertips: "How could it be. If there is no her, how could there be such an excellent Dr. Chu like us?"

Chu Sinian shook his head slowly: "But I'm even more stupid."

Qin Zhao didn't speak, just stretched out his arms, silently hugging Chu Sinian in his arms.He felt Chu Sinian's shoulders tremble slightly, and the area of ​​the shoulders was soon wetted a little.

Qin Zhao gently stroked Chu Sinian's back from top to bottom, as if comforting a wounded animal.

"You just can't believe that in this world, someone has been silently loving you."

Qin Zhao held Chu Sinian's face in his hands, his eyes were sincere and gentle.

"My little fool." Qin Zhao said: "Believe me, you deserve the best and the best in the world, you deserve to be loved."

Qin Zhao's hug was very warm, Chu Sinian was hugged by him in a daze, and after a long while, he buried his head in the other's neck.The fresh and sunny smell hits the face, which is inexplicably reassuring.

"Thank you."

Chu Sinian stretched out his arms cautiously and hugged Qin Zhao's waist.This was the first time he took the initiative to hug someone, and his movements were still a little stiff.

But immediately, Qin Zhao hugged him even harder, chest to chest, but Chu Sinian did not struggle for the first time.

It turns out that there is still a lot of love in this world.

He shouldn't live up to these loves anymore.

The two hugged quietly under the peach blossom tree for a long time, and they didn't go back until the sun sank slightly.The breeze is blowing, the flowing water is gurgling, and the laughter of children can be faintly heard from the vast fields.Chu Sinian stopped and looked back, only to realize that it was a mother and son flying a kite on the ridge of the field.The little boy was only five or six years old, holding a red goldfish kite in his hand.The little boy is running while pulling the string of the kite, trying to send the kite into the sky.But the kite is not very obedient, it always falls straight down as soon as it flies.

The little boy tried several times without success, and the red goldfish kite fell down again and again, covered in dusty soil.

Aggrieved and frustrated, the little boy cried with his mouth open: "My kite is dirty and I can't fly anymore, woo woo woo..."

"How could it be?" The boy's mother came over gently, picked up the red kite on the ground, and gently shook off the dirt on the kite.

"If it's dirty, you can still wipe it clean."

The boy's mother smiled and comforted the little boy: "Let's try again, shall we?"

The little boy nodded, and with tears in his eyes, he held up his red goldfish kite again.

A gust of breeze blows in due course.As soon as the little boy let go, the red goldfish shook slightly and flew up into the sky with its wings fluttering.The long satin tail flickers in the sunset, very beautiful.

The little boy was hugged by his mother, and the tears on his cheeks had not been wiped away, and he smiled very happily.

Chu Sinian quietly stared at the red kite in the sky, a little lost in thought.

The kite flew so high and was so bright red that it was hard to see that it had ever fallen into the dirty soil.

"What's the matter?" Qin Zhao stopped, followed Chu Sinian's gaze and looked towards the sky: "Do you want to fly a kite too? I'll buy you one tomorrow?"

Chu Sinian withdrew his gaze, and smiled faintly at Qin Zhao: "Okay."