[Zhongyingmei] The clown is actually me

"I won't believe your words." Jason took a step back and said coldly.

Jack smiled bitterly in his heart, not to mention others, he himself didn't quite believe these words.He knows,? One day he'll hit the button, it's just a matter of time,? The only thing that's uncertain is how long he'll last.He didn't expect to say something, and Arkham Knight cried bitterly and bowed his head, as long as there was no danger of his life, he knew he was talking too much, but he still asked: "Do you really think you have become like this? The clown is not responsible?"

"No,? I hate clowns,? I'll never forgive him,? Ever. He's a heinous devil, but there's one thing he didn't do," Arkham Knight was silent for a moment, "He never made me expect Pass."

After saying this sentence,? He put down his mask, and that young but scarred face was hidden again under the mask full of mechanical feeling.To this day, the shadow of a man floating in front of his eyes is not Bruce, nor the Joker, but himself, the Robin who was tied to the chair in the basement of Arkham in the past.

The Joker is a devil, but he never makes him look forward to it.

As if yesterday happened again, Jason heard the sound of the door, he turned his head, and watched the child in the red and black uniform look up, his eyeballs, already clouded by blood and tears, shone with hope, like Diamonds that fell into the sea.But it wasn't Batman who came, but a familiar, pale man. The fire-like hope in Robin's eyes was instantly extinguished, followed by dead silence and numbness.He knew that this child would have countless days and nights like this, countless times of hope, countless times of disappointment, constant ups and downs, and unbearable pain.When the scars dried up layer by layer, even the pain became familiar, only hope was still tormenting him, making him crumpled and inhuman.It wasn't until the clown smashed his wish with a photo that the hopeless cycle finally stopped.

Batman wasn't coming to save him.

Jason still remembers how he felt when he wanted to understand this joint. He was in pain, collapsed, and wanted to grab the ground with his head and howl loudly.As if a giant hammer had smashed him, his heart was broken into thousands of pieces, and it could never be put back together again.But all this was silent, not a single tear was shed on his face.Under such unbearable grief, he was surprisingly calm, and even felt a vague sense of relief.He thought to himself: It's all over.

it's over.There was no longer any hope of torturing him.

He hated Batman, he had to.Maybe Batman hadn't abandoned him, left him where he was, to rot.But he still wanted to hate him. If he didn't hate him, the torture and pain of the past two years, as well as the Robin who died in the basement of Arkham, they were meaningless.

Jason looked at Jack, he was not the clown he had imagined, but out of subtle malice, Jason leaned down and dialed the bright red infusion tube, as if stroking a beating heart: "I'll give you The transfusion was the blood of the clown. Before he died, he drew his own blood and sent it to various hospitals in Gotham to threaten Batman to find him an antidote, but he failed. I intercepted it halfway A bag. That's his legacy."

Jack's eyes widened in astonishment.

"The clown is a mad dog that can't be killed. As long as there is blood, he will come back to life. Now, he has probably been resurrected in your body." The Arkham Knight looked at him indifferently.The result of spending too much time with the clown is that he knows how to hurt others very well. Sometimes it is not a huge setback that brings others to their knees, but some small, trivial evils.The occasional viciousness of a kind person is like a needle hidden in a towel, stinging people unexpectedly.He knew very well that what he said next would hurt Jack, just like the clown hurt him as Robin, and smashed his heart, but Jason still asked: "You never kill, don't you want to kill?" I have degenerated to the same level as the moon clown. But he is still in your body and is sheltered by you invisibly. Since you are so noble, why have you never thought... to die with the clown?"

in a dream.

Jack was sitting on a snow-white chair. There were still only black and white between the sky and the earth. There were knee-length white thatch growing on the ground, and layers of wheat waves gradually undulated when the wind blew.Occasionally, there are a few scattered insect chirps, and fireflies dance leisurely in the wild grass.From the depths of the skyline, a round of white full moon gradually rises, like a huge pupil, staring at the pure white earth indifferently, everything is shrouded in a hazy halo.

Jack closed his eyes, and the evening wind lifted his soft hair. Soon, he felt footsteps approaching from afar, stopping on the chair beside him.

"You're back." No question, no surprise, just the most common statement after such a long separation: you're back.

The clown laughed: "I'm back, I will always be back."

"Which clown are you? The one I know, or the one from Arkham Knight?"

"I'm the one you know. His blood is just a primer. Like an extinguished coal fire, as long as there is a little spark, it will burn immediately." The clown was silent for a while, "It's been so long since we haven't seen each other, you don't want to hug me?"

Jack was silent.

"Are you sad?"

"No... I just want to reconsider our relationship. We are like two people who are sewn together. We move a little, and even the mere existence makes each other painful. I thought love was just deceiving ourselves. Hypnotize yourself that the pain is because of love, so as to make yourself feel better. But, but..."

But this love is real.

The clown didn't speak, but just listened to him silently, letting him slowly pour out the long-term depression, hesitation and sadness.Jack lowered his head, grabbed his hair, and smiled wryly for a long time: "About Jason's death, from the beginning to the end, I never sympathized with Jason. I applauded the joy of murder, and I was so excited that I wanted to dance. It's the real me. This feeling of guilt is for Jason, but the reason is not that you killed him, but... Even if you are full of evil, I want you back. Even if I play double-faced games with you all my life, with I can live with you going back and forth in my head and letting the side effects of the meds mess up my health! The only thing I can't accept is that I can't live without you. I'm crazy."

His voice lowered and became self-deprecating: "At this point, I can only admit that Batman is right. Among us, the one who should be eliminated is me. Because you are sober, I am the lunatic."

The clown didn't touch him, but just said: "You don't have to feel guilty, in fact, you don't love me as much as you imagined, and the reason why you miss me is just because I helped you bear part of the feeling."

"Feel?"

"Well, part of the feeling. For example, pain, it never disappears out of thin air. When you lower the threshold, I will bear the reduced part. I hurt it for you, and you won't hurt anymore." The clown made a Gestures, "I'm not your opposite, I'm more like a piece of your puzzle, I've supplemented your personality flaws and made you behave like a normal person. That's why I'm always more emotional than you."

"This is the truth of 'If I kill you, I will become the next you', but after killing you, my personality will be flawed, and in the end I will inevitably slide into madness. It is not a clown virus, The will of the world. There is no such thing as 'there will always be another clown'. After you die, Batman has not officially retired, and I have not become you. The so-called 'this world is a story' is your lie, you can do whatever you want Look through my memory, use the information I know to fabricate a set of half-truths and half-false theories, and trick me into believing it." Jack leaned down, grabbed the clown's collar tightly, and tried to suppress his roar. "Is there any truth in what you said to me? Could it be that I am not a personality you created at all, but just an unlucky ghost who accidentally traveled through time. You and I are two independent souls, but you have assimilated a part of them." ? Which one is true?!"

The clown looked at him, and suddenly burst out laughing. He stroked Jack's hair, as if stroking an unfaithful hound: "Whoever you want to believe, that one is the truth."

"What do you mean?"

"You're not like me, you're not a clown, you're just a regular dude who fell into a chemistry pool, no criminal philosophy, you haven't even come out of the waste pool. You just keep running, running from the past, having a bad day , you let yourself down, hide under a rock, tell everyone you're crazy, you foam at the mouth, chew the carpet, sing nervous songs, bang your head on the door of the upholstered room. That's why you have a different experience , different backgrounds, sometimes you are my alter ego, sometimes you have an independent soul, sometimes your mother has red hair, sometimes she has yellow hair. To be honest, you are no different from me, we sell Sad stories to gain sympathy, but I made up stories to fool others, and you are fooling yourself.” The clown looked at him with a sneer on his face, “With this one story, there will be another one, as long as you don’t recognize it. Know yourself, there will always be a different story. I said, believe what you want to believe. People only believe what they want to believe. Everyone is the same."

Jack stared at him blankly, as if he was speechless after being refuted, he slid down weakly and was hugged tightly by the clown.He firmly grasped the clown's shoulders, like a drowning man grabbing the last straw: "What is the truth... What is real and what is false, all of this..."

"At least you love me for real."

The clown held him in his arms, but there was a strong repulsive force in his arms. Jack held his shoulders tightly, broke free from his arms, and jumped onto the snow-white ground.The pure white and unstained thatch brushed against his knees, he straightened the chair that fell aside during the movement, and then staggered towards the depths of the earth.Only a voice came from a distance, like a nightmare curse: "No, I will not love you anymore. You will only... make me suffer."