girl, don't do this

Fortunately, Tao Jiaran's wounds were all superficial.

Cen Meng secretly breathed a sigh of relief, it was good that no bones were hurt.

After asking about the doctor's instructions, Cen Meng walked out of the doctor's office, and saw her senior sister sitting blankly, staring at her tightly wrapped hands in a daze.

Cen Meng was startled.What is this nonsense?

Cen Meng wanted to have a good talk with Tao Jiaran and ask her what was wrong.But she was afraid of irritating her senior sister.Lao Zhang has studied psychology and said that this is a manifestation of a psychological disorder. At this time, it is best to "smooth her hair" and not to force her, otherwise she may do something unexpected.

Cen Meng carefully sat down next to Tao Jiaran, her tone as relaxed as possible.

"Shall we go home, honey?"

Tao Jiaran's concentration was interrupted.He raised his head from between his hands, still frowning, glanced at Cen Meng's right hand, and turned his gaze away again.

Cen Meng's heart darkened, her senior sister didn't dare to look at her?What are you thinking, Tao Jiaran?

"Hand, does it still hurt?" Tao Jiaran stared at the floor with a muffled voice.

hand?Cen Meng was stunned.Immediately, she realized that she had patronized Tao Jiaran before, but she forgot about the small wound on her hand.

Trying to squeeze out a smile, Cen Meng leaned over and kissed Tao Jiaran on the cheek.

"It doesn't hurt, just a small injury... my dear, you are so kind!"

As they got closer, Cen Meng realized that the five fingerprints were still faintly visible.Even if she was weak, Tao Jiaran could bear it if she kept pulling like that.

Cen Meng wanted to caress the fingerprint in distress, but on second thought, she held back again.Tao Jiaran is very sensitive now, she is afraid that it will bring up her sadness again.

There was still burning pain on his face, when Cen Meng's kiss fell, Tao Jiaran thought of cooling oil, it was cool, soft and comfortable.

but……

Tao Jiaran deeply felt that he was useless.She knew that she had demons, which is called "psychological disorder" in medical terms.Even though she is a rational person who believes in science, she is still a body of flesh and blood. With flesh and blood and thinking, she cannot escape psychological fluctuations.

She is very clear that everything is caused by her own psychology. People die like a lamp. Neither Cen Zihua nor Cen Meng's grandma can come back from the dead. But she can't escape now, just like she did before. I was so stimulated that I wanted to destroy my own face.

This makes her feel useless.She always thought of herself as a self-reliant and self-reliant person, but she did something shameful of "disfigurement". Tao Jiaran began to despise herself.

She couldn't get rid of the knot, she didn't know when she would be able to get rid of this feeling of powerlessness.She didn't even dare to close her eyes.As long as he closes his eyes, Cen Zihua's sneering and mocking face will be reflected in front of his eyes.

Tao Jiaran was afraid, but also ashamed to speak out.She didn't even dare to look at the glass windows on the hospital wall, she was afraid of seeing something that shouldn't appear.

When Cen Meng's kiss fell, Tao Jiaran insisted not to dodge.In a place that Cen Meng couldn't see, she clenched her fist tightly, and the wound was excruciatingly painful due to the force.

Mengmeng is so beautiful, so good... This kind of me is just a drag.

Tao Jiaran felt sad.

"Let's go home!" Cen Meng took her senior sister's arm and said softly.

"Go home?" Which home?Tao Jiaran didn't move, she still didn't dare to meet Cen Meng's gaze.

"You can go back to whatever you want," Cen Meng rumpled her clothes for her, "I've asked Uncle Zhang to find someone to clean up your house..."

Cen Meng didn't dare to say that she had asked Lao Zhang to clean up everything that could be seen, so she chose her words carefully, lest she would touch Tao Jiaran's minefield.

"I called Dad, and our room is ready... If you don't like it, we'll go to a hotel." Cen Meng completely left the choice to her senior sister.

Cen Zishi...

Cen...

Cen Zihua!

Tao Jiaran clenched his fist subconsciously, restraining the fear and uneasiness welling up in his heart.

He bowed his head and said nothing.

Cen Meng approached her, ignoring the traffic, holding Tao Jiaran's face against her forehead.

"Where do you want to go, Jiaran? We'll go wherever... I'll be with you. "

Those eyes were so clean and pure, full of his own shadow.Tao Jiaran had nowhere to hide, and was involuntarily attracted by the two clear waters. She heard her own dry voice: "My home."

Lao Zhang really did his duty, and Tao Jiaran's house was cleaned up, and all suspicious things were removed and disappeared.

Cen Meng was close to Tao Jiaran, which made Tao Jiaran feel even more panicked. She felt like a patient, yes, like a mental patient, the kind who wouldn't worry about it every minute.

She hated the powerlessness.

She wanted to yell at Cen Meng, "Leave me alone, okay?" But seeing that person's earnest and fearful expression, Tao Jiaran felt that even if she spoke loudly to her, it would be a sin.

She Tao Jiaran dared to walk at night alone, she Tao Jiaran dared to fight with a group of gentlemen alone, she Tao Jiaran dared to deal with a group of gangsters alone...

How did she, Tao Jiaran, become the cowardly person she is now? !

Close the bathroom door and isolate yourself from the world.Tao Jiaran sat on the toilet, hammering his head vigorously with his gauze-wrapped hands.

burden!burden!She's a nuisance now!

"Mom... I'm okay... Her?" Cen Meng glanced at the closed bathroom door, lowered her voice, "Not too good... Well, I also think it's some kind of psychological disorder... Uncle Wang's friend ? Well, it’s best to be the most authoritative...I also think she should see a psychiatrist...I will take care of myself...don’t accompany me...I can handle it..."

After hanging up Ms. Ji's phone, Cen Meng peeked at the bathroom door again guiltily. Tao Jiaran probably couldn't hear what he said just now, right?

How should I tell Tao Jiaran to let her see a psychiatrist?Cen Meng was worried.

"Go to sleep." Cen Meng's eyelids were clenched and she could hardly keep them open.But the person next to the pillow is obviously not the case.

In the darkness, Tao Jiaran lay flat, with his eyes wide open, staring at the pitch-black ceiling.She even wished she didn't have to blink if she could.

The dark night seemed to animate all terrible things.Suddenly Cen Zihua, and suddenly Cen Meng's grandma, piercing through the darkness of the unknown, flashed in front of her eyes.

Tao Jiaran wanted to yell "Go away! Go away!", but he didn't dare to speak because Mengmeng was by his side.She is useless enough, do you want to scare Mengmeng?

Her body was stiff and straight, cold sweat was pouring out one by one, and the hand on the other side of her body was vigorously twisting the bed sheet until it was wrinkled.

Cen Meng's arm wrapped around her waist, causing Tao Jiaran to tremble in fright, making her body even more rigid. Only in this way could she not cry out in surprise.

Cen Meng also noticed the strangeness in her, and even the drowsy bug disappeared in surprise.

"Jiaran, what's wrong with you?" Cen Meng said, and turned on the lamp by the bed.

At this moment, Tao Jiaran looked like he had seen a ghost.Gritting her teeth tightly, cold sweat covered her forehead and cheeks, and even her pajamas were soaked through.His face was pitifully pale, and his breathing was rough|heavy, as if he had expended a great deal of effort.

Cen Meng got up quickly.

"Jiaran! Jiaran! Are you sick? Look carefully, it's me! I'm Mengmeng!" Cen Meng patted her senior sister's cheek.

Tao Jiaran was startled, and saw the person in front of him clearly.With the light, she felt a little more at ease.

Sitting up abruptly, she stared blankly at the patterns on the quilt.

No matter how hard Cen Meng could hold back, she was really afraid that Tao Jiaran would go crazy.

"Jiaran, tell me, what exactly did you see?"

Tao Jiaran froze, and suddenly broke free from Cen Meng's arm.

"I'm fine!" As she said, she pulled off the quilt, put on her slippers, and hurried out of the bedroom.

Cen Meng was stunned, Tao Jiaran had never treated her so rudely, not even when he initially rejected her pursuit.Cen Meng felt a little wronged.

She also has a temper, right?Miss Cen has never been a good girl, only when facing Tao Jiaran, she showed the most gentle side.

After a while, Cen Meng leaned against the head of the bed.She was very worried about Tao Jiaran, why did this person go?However, she was troubled by her self-esteem, and she was not allowed to sneer at Tao Jiaran.

This is not the time when the two of them are clingy, Tao Jiaran has never faced her so coldly, Cen Meng doesn't like it.

After an unknown amount of time, Cen Meng suddenly felt pungent.Sniff and smell, the smell of smoke?

Following the direction of the smell of smoke, Cen Meng put on her coat and watched Tao Jiaran sitting directly on the floor tiles in the kitchen. The lights in all the rooms had already been lit by her, and the lights were brightly lit.

Tao Jiaran was facing the balcony, with his head down, a cigarette was held between the two slender fingers on the gauze-wrapped right palm.The cigarette was half burnt, and there were about two centimeters of ash hanging from it. It was obvious that its owner was smoking very absent-mindedly.

On the floor tiles, a few cigarette butts, either whole or burnt, were scattered here and there.

This was the first time Cen Meng saw Tao Jiaran smoking.In normal times, such Tao Jiaran and Cen Meng might say "so cool" in a nympho.But at this moment, Tao Jiaran was so... decadent in her eyes.

In Cen Meng's heart, Tao Jiaran has always been clean, sunny, and self-made. What kind of inner world made her senior sister become like this?

The lights were all turned on.Is she afraid of the dark?Cen Meng thought.

"Jiaran," Cen Meng knelt down and gently pulled out the cigarette butt from Tao Jiaran's hand, "Don't sit here, the floor is cold."

Tao Jiaran didn't reject her again this time, like a lost child, he turned his helpless eyes to Cen Meng.

Such Tao Jiaran...

Cen Meng felt sore and astringent, and pulled her up.

"Tell me, what are you afraid of?"

Tao Jiaran seemed to be scalded, and suddenly pulled out Cen Meng's arms around her.

Cen Meng frowned.

"Tell me obediently, what did you see?" Cen Meng said softly.

But she didn't know that this kind of pressing made Tao Jiaran even more nervous.

"Those are all hallucinations, all fake...Jiaran," Cen Meng grabbed Tao Jiaran who was about to escape, "We can see a psychiatrist. Mom has already contacted Uncle Wang's friend. He is the most authoritative in the province." Psychological counselor... Jiaran!"

Tao Jiaran had already shaken off her hand and ran away quickly.

"Jiaran! Jiaran, open the door!" Cen Meng shouted, knocking on the bathroom door.

Have you reduced yourself to seeing a psychiatrist?

Tao Jiaran was at a loss when he heard Cen Meng's eager cry.

Just a few days ago, she proposed to Mengmeng. She said that she wanted to give Mengmeng happiness, accompany her, and take care of her...

With his current appearance, what else can he give her besides dragging her down?happiness?Tao Jiaran smiled wryly, stop teasing.

It turned out that she was just a cowardly person, so weak that she couldn't even control her own demons.Yes, isn't she a coward?She had been abandoned a long time ago, by her biological mother in the name of love—abandoned!

If you can't give happiness, what qualifications do you have to ask the other party to give it?

Tao Jiaran suddenly opened the bathroom door.

Cen Meng was taken aback, and Tao Jiaran's scarlet eyes, where did the love in those eyes go?

"Let's... Let's separate first!" Tao Jiaran became more and more confident as she spoke, she hated her cowardice deeply, and turned her face away in shame.

Was she hallucinating just now?Cen Meng looked at her in disbelief.

"You... did you speak just now?"

Tao Jiaran took a deep breath: "I just said, let's separate first!"

"why?!"

"I, I..." Tao Jiaran muttered for a long time, she wanted to say "I'm a burden now", but felt that this was too hypocritical; she wanted to say "We are not suitable", but felt that it would hurt Mengmeng.

Fool!She scolded herself.

"'I' what!" Cen Meng wanted to slap her face again, "Can't you say it? I'll say it for you! You think you're dragging me down! Right?"

"Mengmeng..." Tao Jiaran stared at her with wide eyes.

"Tao Jiaran, didn't you say that you will die in my arms? What about your bold words? They were all eaten by dogs! What's the big deal? You haven't made you die yet! Where's your ambition?"

Tao Jiaran moved his lips, but he didn't know how to answer her, so he could only stare at her blankly.

No matter how difficult it was to control Cen Meng's previous depression, she burst out all at once.

"I didn't know you were such a cowardly person! A little bit of sadness made you shoot? Are you really the person I have loved for seven or eight years?"

"You don't understand!" Tao Jiaran also became angry, "You don't understand at all! Being abandoned by your biological mother, you don't understand that feeling at all!"

Cen Meng gritted her teeth: "I don't understand. But I love you, I want to walk into your heart, I want to unravel you, I want to tell you that the past is past, and no one can change the fait accompli. If I I couldn’t do it, so I found a psychiatrist, they are professional, and they can help you out of the predicament. But what about you? You just say that you are dragging me down! Tao Jiaran, do you want to carry it to the end by yourself? Do you want to save face and suffer, or do you not regard me as the closest person at all?"

Tao Jiaran was stunned, she didn't even know the answer to this question.

Maybe it was really her inferiority complex at work?She really felt that she had nothing. Deep in her heart, Cen Meng was synonymous with "beautiful".Cen Meng is not short of anything, not short of money, not short of love, if she likes, the whole world can love her, she has such capital.But it was such a "perfect" person who fell in love with Tao Jiaran, a "poor guy".Tao Jiaran felt that he had nothing, no money, no status, not even parents, even after knowing who his biological parents were, his father passed away, and his mother was still the one who abandoned her back then.Such a fact really made her feel unconfident.

When she was healthy and complete, she could give Cen Meng all of herself, all gentle, considerate, spiritual and physical care; but now, her spirit is broken.If she still relied on Cen Meng's care at this time, her self-esteem would not be able to accept it.

Seeing that she was silent, Cen Meng calmed down a little.

"If I were you, if I were in your state now, Jiaran, put yourself in your shoes, would you abandon me?"

Tao Jiaran was moved.If Cen Meng was in her current situation, she would definitely do her best to find the best psychologist to restore her to her previous appearance. Even if she traveled all over the world, even if it took five, ten or even a lifetime, she would still be able to help her. recover.

Cen Meng breathed a sigh of relief, and quietly said: "Let's not repeat the tragedy of my aunt and the others, and stop giving up on each other in the name of love."

Tao Jiaran turned her face away: "Don't mention her!"

"Okay, I won't mention her!" Cen Meng replied straightforwardly, "Then you and I will see a psychiatrist tomorrow."

Tao Jiaran pursed her lips and frowned: "What if I don't go?"

"You!" Dare she waste her words before?

Angrily, Cen Meng peeled off the collar of Tao Jiaran's pajamas, and pinched the jade tie around her neck, which was tied by Cen Meng herself.

With a sudden force, there was a soft "pop", and the tether was broken away, and the piece of jade was already held in Cen Meng's palm.

Tao Jiaran was caught off guard and snorted, leaving a red strangle mark on his neck, and a trace of blood seeped out.

"If you don't go," Cen Meng said in a deep voice, raising the jade in her hand, "do you really think I dare not separate from you?"

After all, turn around and leave.