You are my sin uncrowned poem

70

Dean and Sam left the castle with the First Blade and rushed to the Parish of Fallen Moon.Every other day, that excruciating pain would come, and Sam's longing for his soul was extraordinarily deep at those times. Dean always hugged Sam with his bloody hand. In pain, Sam breathed the bitterness drifting from Dean's soul. He told himself to be calm, but desire almost pushed him into the abyss.

So he thought of the souls he hid.The smell of the memory stimulated him, and he couldn't help imagining the sight of tearing them up with his own hands and eating them slowly.Sweet souls, they are pure and clean, Sam feels the pungent longing in his lips and throat, he looks forward to enjoying - even when people pass by them on the road, he can't help but peep into the souls of those people , he listened to the few words that echoed in those souls, and even wanted to get off his horse and tell them that as long as he offered his soul, he could fulfill any of their wishes.He knows that fragile human beings cannot withstand temptation, and if they offer small benefits, they will surrender.

Something is rushing in the blood.

It is the desire of the devil that is clamoring.

Dean couldn't help but watch Sam's eyes worriedly at these times.Most of the time they stay the same color, clean and dark, but there's a moment or two when Dean sees them take on the color of the night, a black deeper than ink.

Sam was always pressing Dean in pain and horrible hunger, he knew better than anyone what was going on in his body, and those longings tormented him day and night.He felt that his soul was slowly being eaten away. Maybe this moment will come, but it shouldn't come so soon.

It shouldn't be so inopportune - but it comes just when he's stopping Dean from killing Cain.

He's always asking Dean to be honest, but Dean will probably never listen to him.

Dean always has a bunch of reasons he thinks "it should be", he uses to convince himself, and then hides it with a sense of guilt and guilt.

But his peace of mind does not conflict with guilt.

"Don't lie, don't put me off."

They had already entered the Parish of Fallen Moon that night, the woods were silent and gloomy in the middle of the night, Sam sat in front of the fire and stared at the blazing flames with a strong tone.

And Dean just heard a kind of cold indifference in the words.

The indifference may be out of anger, or maybe Sam has unknowingly been affected by the curse.

Perhaps it was a wrong decision to seek Cain in the first place.But if he had to choose again, he would still come to Luoyue Parish without hesitation—after that, he would not hesitate any more.Maybe those pains are destined to befall him, lies, estrangement, even if the famine knight sees through his heart, he shouldn't hold Sam and let him accompany him to fall.

It was his own weakness that Dean should regret most.

Perhaps the one who hated him the most was not the demons he killed, but himself.

The saddest part was that while he could feel Sam's love for him so clearly, he still hated himself so intensely.

Dean's silence made Sam misunderstand.He thought Dean still wouldn't tell the truth by this point.

He gets depressed sometimes, and thinks maybe he should just keep alienating Dean like he did all those years ago.In that case, perhaps fate would not come, he would not have to experience such a painful love, and he would not have to travel thousands of miles just to witness Dean's death.

In the pain, Sam felt a tinge of resentment.

"Tell me," Sam pleaded hoarsely, but his tone was still cold, and he looked up at the sky in a nonchalant manner, "I know you are dying for me, like you put all the blame on me same body -- so I guess my request for an explanation isn't too much."

Dean was taken aback by Sam's words.He stared deeply at Sam, wondering why Sam thought he was going to put all the blame and responsibility on him.The misunderstanding made Dean's chest churn, and he bit the side of his mouth hard, his fingers unconsciously stroking the rag on his right arm to stop the bleeding.

"Cain asked me to kill him, and I said yes," Dean began, his voice a little low, "I never thought of putting the blame on you. In fact, you see, I caused all of this. "

The flames beeped the dry branches, and in the darkness far away hid night birds.They perched in the dark tree shadows, carefully guarding against the place where the fire was lit, and occasionally let out a tentative whistling or two.

"Famine Knight, he said to me, I am your original sin, and I will make you fall—I am the one who made you a demon." Perhaps because he was no longer eager to explain, Dean's tone was calm, without a trace of indifference Ups and downs, it seems that what he is talking about at this moment is a person who has nothing to do with them. It is an old story thousands of years ago. I could save you, I thought I could stop you, I thought everything would work out. I thought I could tell you 'it's okay, Sammy'. But Famine Knight is right, it's me , I made you what you are now. Sammy, how can you be responsible for this shit?"

It was also the first time for Sam to hear Dean talk about the Famine Knight, and he didn't know anything about it before.He tried to guess, a person who put such a dire prophecy in front of him, and asserted that he was the one who caused all this... Sam couldn't help holding his breath, and it took a long time before he let out a trembling breath eagerly .

So at first Dean would resist him, so Dean always seemed to be guilty.

He thought of Dean's bitter soul.

No one is born that way.

No one should be doomed to bear these burdens.

No one should take for granted responsibility for another's fate.

"There is a curse hidden in my agreement with Cain." Dean said unconsciously clutching the bloodstain under the cloth strip.He told Sam the story of Cain and Abel, about the effects of the curse, "I know you hate demon blood, you can't possibly want to become a demon. I didn't get the first blade for you, but now I want To end this for you."

Let him end this curse himself.

In the eyes of others, he is probably equivalent to a devil, but he is still willing to dedicate himself to God.

But this time, he will dedicate his death to Sam.

That's why he hated himself.

--As an elder brother, he can only give such painful things to his younger brother.And then in hell, doing nothing but waiting for time to heal Sam's scars.

The power of being born as a human being is too small.

Dean smiled wryly.

But he will do all the attempts and risks he thinks are worthwhile.

"You don't have to follow me at all, it's all on my head..."

"Do not."

Dean's words were interrupted by Sam, he took a deep breath, intending to continue explaining, but was suddenly hugged by Sam who turned around.

"There must be a way, Dean."

Sam's voice is hoarse, like he just cried.But he knew he wasn't crying, it wasn't a question of qualifications, but after hearing Dean's words, here, at this moment, he shouldn't be a sentimental teenager anymore.He remembered Dean's mantra, it had reassured him countless times.It's not Dean who knows magic, and he probably can't expect any miracles, but the only thing he can do now is not give up.

He shouldn't be caught by Dean's emotions.

he can not.

When he was pessimistic, Dean would hold him back.

So now, it's his turn.

"We still have a chance, Dean." Sam hugged Dean tightly, "I'm just...I'm just mad at you for hiding it from me every time, you shouldn't have to bear this alone, you have to let me know. We're brothers, Dean."

I am your last kin.

is your shield.

Dean couldn't help hesitating for a moment because of Sam's bluntness. He didn't expect Sam to say these things, and he didn't say them to gain something from Sam.To him, that was just an explanation.

But to Sam, that's part of the truth.

It was a part of Dean that he hadn't been able to read.

Dean hesitated for a moment in Sam's arms, then reached out and hugged his brother tightly.

TBC