Shocked in late autumn

Ji Songlin and his grandmother lived at No. 12 Linyuansi Hutong. Pushing open the cypress gate, the courtyard was open, with luxuriant green radishes covering the walls, golden osmanthus blooming just in time, and a calla lily was planted at the corner, and the buds trembled. Shaking in the wind, withered stalks are entwined with a few residual flowers, faintly exuding a hint of cold fragrance.

"Oh, I forgot to move back to the house yesterday, and the flowers are all waterlogged." The old lady stomped her feet anxiously, and hurriedly lifted the bottom of the flower pot to leak the rainwater, while carefully lifting the flower path to inspect.

"You are just recovering from a serious illness, don't touch the cold water," Ji Songlin took the flowerpot from his grandmother's hand quickly, and said without complaint, "Leave these flowers to me."

"Don't grab, don't grab, you young people don't know how to take care of flowers," the old lady slapped his hand off in disgust, and muttered: "Go... don't trouble me."

In a cluster of tall and elegant plants, the old lady twisted her slightly bloated body, brushed the flowers and leaves with her speckled fingers, and dusted off the dust, her movements were gentle and careful.

Her expression of cherishing flowers gradually overlapped with Xu Zihua's. Xu Chenyu remembered that his father also loved flowers. There were roses, cloves, and occasionally tuberose in the porcelain vases in the living room, but his favorite was poppies.

Knowing that the world is big, but still pity the grass and trees, this is the kind of person he is talking about.

Walking beside him, Ji Songlin turned his head and whispered, "The flowers planted by the old lady are precious. Once I accidentally broke two plants and got beaten up."

Xu Chenyu heard it funny, and narrowed his eyes with a smile: "So fierce?"

"It's not..." This sentence was spoken in a lower voice than the last sentence, Ji Songlin lowered his voice, not daring to teach the old lady who loves flowers to listen.

"Chenyu, come in and sit down, eat breakfast before leaving," Shen Xilan smiled brightly after handling it, gently pushed open the door of the main hall, and beckoned him to come in and sit down.

Shen Xilan originally planned to cook by herself. There were fresh meat and dumpling wrappers in the refrigerator. Before she opened the refrigerator door, she was stopped by Ji Songlin. She was "thrown out" of the kitchen by her grandson. He put on an apron himself, Tinkering to go early also.

It was rare to have a helper in the kitchen, Shen Xilan was happy to be free, she and Xu Chenyu chatted enthusiastically, and pestered him to tell another police story, Dahongpao was boiling in the teapot, and the distant fragrance of tea filled the room.

The living room is not too spacious, but fortunately it is clean and tidy, with clear ebony tables and chairs, covered with water lotus embroidery pillows, old-fashioned.

There is an old photo hanging on the wall. The woman in the photo is wearing a moon-white cheongsam as thin as cicada gauze, with an emerald necklace hanging around her neck. A style unmatched by the world.

The old lady raised her finger to wipe off the dust on the bottom of the photo frame. She raised her face and said, "My daughter, doesn't she look good? Back then, the people who chased her lined up at the entrance of the alley..." She said jokingly: "There is an idiot boy who comes to the door and talks stupid things. Why do you want to climb up to the sky, pinch down the moon, and use it as a hairpin for my daughter..."

Xu Chenyu stared at the photo again, the woman in full bloom was like a flawless jade pear flower, the first time he saw her, he knew that she was the kind of woman who would drive men crazy.

"But she is also stupid, she has to be with an inappropriate person..." The old lady's voice trembled slightly at the end, and she didn't go any further. Obviously, it was a sad story.

The emotion in Shen Xilan's eyes sank. She walked to the radio, stuck a cassette in it, and pressed the button. The clear and beautiful singing came through the hall, filling the ears. Compared with the babbling "Nanke Ji" last time, This time Xu Chenyu heard it clearly.

"①May this life be gentle forever, and Baiyun does not envy the fairyland."

The old lady leaned on the arm of the chair, followed the melody, tapped her fingers lightly, as if in an ensemble, and hummed a few words along with it. There was no mistress in the room, but traces of her were everywhere.

People have a kind of unspoken interest in sad things. Xu Chenyu raised the teapot, filled a cup, and pushed it in front of Shen Xilan: "Auntie sings really well."

"Of course, she is a Kunqu Opera performer, and the best singer in the whole theater is my nannie," said the old lady every time the word "nannie" was mentioned, her eyes lit up, and her words were full of pride.

Ji Songlin once mentioned the past to Xu Chenyu. Her mother died in a major car accident, and she never saw her lover again. She suddenly groaned a little. Even such a woman ended up miserable.

"It's a pity that she left early..." The old lady's embarrassing expression faded, and her face was stained with loneliness: "Leave Linlin alone..."

The kitchen was filled with smoke, Xu Chenyu tilted his head, looking at Ji Songlin's busy back alone through the blur, an impulse surged in his heart for no reason, he really wanted to spend 20 years in this old residence , Across the crowds and waves, look at Ji Songlin when he was a child, and listen to his laugh and cry.

Xu Chenyu looked at Shen Xilan and asked seriously: "Mother-in-law, have Songlin been happy these years?"

She was in a daze for a moment, probably because she didn't expect that someone would ask her such a question, and when Shen Xilan came back to her senses, she said: "The old lady doesn't know whether you are going to be happy or not, he always announces good news No complaints...but...I hope he will be happy."

The tea boiled up, and steam rose from the spout of the teapot. The white mist scattered in the air and changed countless shapes. Xu Chenyu clenched his hands into fists and then loosened them. He hesitated for a long time, and finally spoke.

"I know it's presumptuous, but please forgive me, you know about Songlin's father, right?"

Shen Xilan looked at Xu Chenyu, her eyes were puzzled and shocked, but she was unprepared, and she couldn't say why, the old lady fell in love with him the first time she saw this guy. Let's put it all together.

"This secret, I've been hiding it for many years..." Shen Xilan turned her gaze out of the window, looking at the cluster of osmanthus.

There is a small island on the edge of the Bohai Sea, facing Jieshi in the east and cliffs in the south. Looking around, there is no end to the bewildered coastline. There are no palm trees, no seven lixiang, no beautiful scenery on the island, and there is nothing but the stars and the moon.

The endless wild wind and the dense jungle are the skin of the island, and the loneliness is the real appearance. Ji Songlin's father is the guard of the island.

During an academic exchange opportunity, he came to Z city and met Ji Songlin's mother.

Ji Fengyang and Zhou Wanqing's first meeting is like the gifted scholar and beautiful woman in the storybook.

Zhou Wanqing is well-known in the Grand Theater. Fans call her "Yellow Oriole with Jade Face". Standing on the stage, she has a graceful figure, with lotus flowers on her feet, and thousands of twists and turns when she flicks her sleeves. When she opens her voice, the lingering sound lingers for three days. .

As soon as the opera ended, Zhou Wanqing sat in front of the mirror taking off her make-up and hat, and the sisters in the same company said that there was a man standing outside the theater, and he stayed there for seven days just to see her.

There were many high-ranking officials among the theater fans who supported her, Zhou Wanqing had always disliked that man, he only thought that the man was an apprentice who was interested in sex, and deliberately delayed leaving the theater until ten o'clock at night.

Stepping out of the gate, the man was still waiting there. It was late autumn and the night wind was howling. The man was wearing a thin satin shirt, his lips were white from the cold. He was very handsome, but his tall figure revealed youthfulness. , a pair of small deer eyes appeared on the young face, like light ink sweeping across, and like a stuffed animal that accidentally broke into this world.

The man looked back and saw Zhou Wanqing wearing a moon-white brocade cheongsam, with long ink-splashed hair blowing up gently in the evening wind, and he smiled so foolishly.

Zhou Wanqing's first impression of Ji Fengyang was that he was a bookworm.

The nerd uttered the five words "Hello, Miss Zhou" upside down, clumsily speaking like a fool, and finally, with a red face, he frantically stuffed a handwritten letter into Zhou Wanqing's hand.

Gone in a flash, like a gust of September wind.

The handwriting is neat, written in small letters, and neatly wrote on the paper: "Miss Zhou, my name is Ji Fengyang. I have never felt the beauty of Kunqu Opera like this before I met you. That day when I was listening to a play in the theater, you sang a song." Come on, teach me not to forget again, I understand that such an abrupt request makes you embarrassed, but please understand the clumsiness of a reckless man, I hope you don't dislike it... Waiting for your reply, I wish you a happy day."

Zhou Wanqing's eyes flicked back and forth on the word "clumsy", the indifferent light in her eyes was soft, she looked at it and suddenly smiled softly, the tassel earrings rippling in the laughter.

Having seen a lot of sex scenes, and knowing how to deal with and advance and retreat among adults, perhaps it was this rare panic that moved Zhou Wanqing.

There is nothing more touching than romance, only sincerity.

The love of young people is more dazzling than the streamer. No matter it is windy or rainy, Ji Fengyang will watch outside the theater every day until she is in the play. The two of them take a walk together, read books and listen to music. He will read beautiful poems to her.

② "Many details are omitted,

you tell me you're there

It seems to have given me back a spring. "

They are like mortal men and women who have fallen in love. They are so infatuated with each other. A day without seeing each other is like three autumns. When Ji Fengyang is not working, he comes to the theater to report on time every day. After Zhou Wanqing finished the play, he rushed to the backstage and gave her the rose with his own hands.

Half a year later, academic exchanges became busy, and the two often did not see each other. Ji Fengyang had no choice but to write his thoughts on a piece of paper and send it out.

Zhou Wanqing's study had accumulated a thick stack of letters, and she would go home after singing every night, nestle in her room, and always read those letters over and over again, and she could recite some sentences backwards and forwards.

Xu Chenyu was fascinated by what he heard, and when Shen Xilan stopped talking, he couldn't help but ask: "Since they are in love with each other, how could they separate?"

"Well..." Shen Xilan sighed, a little helpless: "Ji Fengyang is going back to the island, my niece loves the theater, she doesn't want to go with him, one side is love, the other side is ideal, after all, we parted ways. "

It was the first snow of winter.

The two were arguing red-faced.

Ji Fengyang was still that nerd, he didn't know how to turn around and back down, he just grabbed Zhou Wanqing's hand tightly, almost desperately begging: "Wanqing, come with me, I promise to give you my whole life, and grow old with you forever."

Moisture rolled up in her chest, but Zhou Wanqing's face was very calm. She broke free from his hand: "If you really love me, why don't you stay?"

About whether to leave or stay, they discussed for three months. At first they were calm, then they quarreled endlessly, and finally the quarrel became irreconcilable.

There is really no other way, love is not the only thing in life, Ji Fengyang bears a huge loss: "You have your love, and I have my responsibilities, if the two really cannot coexist, then I will let you go... ..”

The streets are covered with white catkins, as bright and clean as a fairy tale town. Ji Fengyang stood in the snow and looked at Zhou Wanqing from a distance. It was like meeting for the first time. The difference is that the last time I came for "Hello", this time , and go for "goodbye".

Zhou Wanqing's eyes were red, and her extremely beautiful face was full of coldness and stubbornness. She left Ji Fengyang with a lonely back, and after she left, she never looked back.

Ji Fengyang returned to the island with a broken heart and performed his duty.

After two months of separation, Zhou Wanqing found out that she was pregnant. After thinking about it, she decided to give birth to the child, but she never sent a letter to Ji Fengyang.

Shen Xilan held up the big red robe, blew on the tea foam, and took a sip. The hot steam covered her reading glasses with a layer of frost. She squinted her eyes and sighed thoughtfully: "My daughter, I have to be strong since I was a child, I am too proud, and too lofty..."

For a split second, Xu Chenyu was at a loss. Ji Songlin once said that Zhou Wanqing's father was not present at Zhou Wanqing's funeral. Maybe Ji Fengyang didn't know that Zhou Wanqing died, nor did he know that he had such a big son.

Is this his life experience? After knowing it, Xu Chenyu's head was pressed against a big rock, and the regret became more intense with the years.

After the breakfast was cooked, Ji Songlin brought three bowls of hot glutinous rice balls to the table. His appearance interrupted the conversation between the old and the young.

There is a curl of mist rising from the white porcelain bowl, and a ray of sweetness emanates from the pale yellow stamens.

"Eat, what are you doing in a daze?" Ji Songlin looked at Xu Chenyu in a daze, and reminded him.

He was stuck in the past and couldn't come back to his senses. When he heard this sentence, he temporarily put away his inexplicable melancholy, pretending that nothing happened: "Osmanthus glutinous rice balls," Xu Chenyu leaned over and smelled the fragrance again: "Hey ,good smell."

Shen Xilan took a sip of the soup like a normal person, "Linlin's cooking skills are not as good as my daughter's, and the osmanthus glutinous rice balls she made are really delicious."

As she said that, the old lady ate one, and the glasses were covered with white mist. She squinted her eyes: "It almost tastes bad, did you forget to add sugar?"

"Your blood sugar is too high, you can't eat sweets... It's useless to look at me, you have to take medicine later." Ji Songlin raised his eyes, but unexpectedly caught a glimpse of Xu Chenyu's expression.

Xu Chenyu frowned, and looked up at him after eating a mouthful of glutinous rice balls. His eyes were a bit complicated, like looking at a dying little sick cat that was thrown in the garbage dump, full of love and compassion.Ji Songlin was puzzled, he just ate a glutinous rice ball, why did that man keep sneaking glances at him.

The old lady sighed, and reluctantly stirred the silver spoon, drawing Ji Songlin's attention away, and ate breakfast without taste under the watchful eyes of her grandson.

"Just leave it alone, I'll do it," Ji Songlin said, taking the bowl and chopsticks from Xu Chenyu's hand.

"Didn't you agree, let me clean up this time. I keep my promise and promise to clean up the kitchen." Xu Chenyu refused, and the two of them came back and forth, accidentally knocked over the dishes, The soup dripped onto Xu Chenyu's T-shirt.

"Is it too hot?" Ji Songlin grabbed the blue rag on the table and frantically wiped the drenched clothes on his chest: "Wipe it quickly."

There was a large stain on the white T. Shen Xilan said "Oops" twice, and quickly handed over a paper towel. After another look, there was still no way, so she had to ask Xu Chenyu to go to Ji Songlin's room and change into clean clothes.

Ji Songlin opened the wardrobe and showed it to Xu Chenyu: "What do you want to wear?"

Xu Chenyu said absent-mindedly: "It's all right, just find one and give it to me."

"I usually buy clothes that are one size too big. I think we are about the same size, so you should wear them together." Ji Songlin rummaged through the closet, compared his height and figure, found him a sweater, turned around and handed it to him: " This one, put it on quickly, the weather is turning cold, so as not to catch a cold."

After the sweater was sent out, the two turned their backs to each other.

The past was still rolling in Xu Chenyu's mind, and he changed his clothes carelessly.

There was a rustling sound of skin and cloth rubbing against each other in the air, very light and small, and it dispersed when the passing wind blew.

There is a floor-to-ceiling mirror next to the closet, which just captures Xu Chenyu's back. Ji Songlin can't help but glance at it. The first thing exposed to the air is the shiny neck and white shoulders that are as translucent as jade. The top of the arm is taken off, and the back is peeled off. The muscles are evenly distributed, neither too strong nor too thin.

With just a peek, Ji Songlin's heartbeat rushed to the threshold, but it wasn't for this alluring carcass, but for the starry scars on his back.

The author says:

①Excerpted from Kunqu Opera "The Palace of Eternal Life"

②From Yu Xiuhua.