transient stability

"This talent is of no use to you."

"It's very suitable for you." Lin Qiu grabbed my hand, "I'll change the gauze for you when I go back, it's dirty again."

"Hey, I'm sorry to trouble you." I took his hand and kissed the back of it, Lin Qiu's speech became a little awkward, "You...what are you doing?"

"It's nothing, I'll go and see the room over there." I promised to draw a picture for him, and I was very careful when looking at the furnishings at home.The next room is Lin Qiu's bedroom. The bed is a single bed. The desk is as big and long as the bed. On the desk is a row of bookcases against the wall, and there is a large globe on the shelf beside the desk.There was no sheet on his bed, probably because he went to school before and didn't live at home.I found a lot of words on the wall, including poems and formulas, as well as stick figures of animals.The brush strokes are crooked, varying in severity, and look very immature. "Did you write this?" I laughed, "It turns out that you sometimes can't hold the pen steadily."

"I drew it when I was three years old. They said I was disobedient and wrote everything I saw on the wall."

"It's the most difficult thing to draw what you wrote. Did you understand at that time?" I wanted to take photos of these symbols, but the light was too dark at night, so I gave up after trying several times.

"I don't understand, it's just for fun." Lin Qiu looked at the wall, took out a box of old oil pastels from the drawer, took out a red one, and wrote the word Qin Shi'an on the wall.

I saw my name written on the wall by him, and my face became hot, "What are you doing, you are so big and you are still painting the wall."

"Do you see what I'm writing now?" Lin Qiu smiled at me, and I saw the light in his eyes, "It's okay, no one knows what I wrote here except me." He handed me the oil pastel. "Do you want to write?"

I couldn't bear to have this wall of memories destroyed, so I shook my head.Lin Qiu looked at the three scarlet letters, stretched out his hand to touch it for a while, and rubbed it on my head, "You can write me."

"Don't." This kind of behavior is just like a child's, "This is your home, why write your name?" I looked at Qin Shi'an's three free and easy words, and my heart felt warm, "You wrote It's not enough."

Lin Qiu said, "Do you think I'm childish in your heart?"

"I dare not." I hugged him, raised my face and said, "I want to say clearly, you are naive—"

Lin Qiu raised his eyebrows and looked into my eyes, "Then I'll wipe it off."

"You are not allowed to wipe it after you write it. What if you scratch it?" I held him to prevent him from touching the wall.Lin Qiu put the oil pastel back to its original place, and I pointed to the glass bottle on the desk: "Which female classmate gave you this, huh?" The bottle was full of stars, and it was full of a large bottle.

"I folded it myself." Lin Qiu picked up the bottle, uncorked it, and poured one into his palm, "I remember the time on each bottle, from when I was ten until I went to S University, I folded one every day. ’ He unwrapped the edge of the star and handed it to me.Sure enough, I saw the date on it. The star happened to be folded when he was 11 years old, so it was 18 years ago.

He made a wish for three years, and he knew what it was without saying it.I put the star back in the bottle and put the bottle back on the table.No wonder he is unwilling to face it, this room is full of traces of his past life, happy and painful.I actually easily said the words to let him come back every year. I suddenly blamed myself, and unknowingly, a tear fell from my left eye.

"What's the matter?" Seeing me lowering my head, Lin Qiu put his arms around me and said, "Do you think the smell is unpleasant? Let's go back after seeing it."

I shook my head and said in a muffled voice, "Go to the balcony and open the window for ventilation." I just wanted to get some air so that Lin Qiu could not see the distress on his face.I went back to the living room, and the balcony of Lin Qiu's house was closed with windows installed.I pushed open the window hard, and the cold wind rushed in.There was some noise overhead, and I looked up to see a red dress, already stained with mold and dust, billowing in the wind.

Lin Qiu pulled me back from the window, and closed the window again, "Go back, you're covered in ashes."

I said sullenly: "You said you can take the photos away."

"Well, take it home and read it slowly." He went to his parents' room and took out a photo album, stuffed it into my hand, and then went to the door and pulled the switch, "Shi'an, come out."

I followed Lin Qiu out, took the key, locked the door, and handed it to him.He shook my hand, held me tightly, and let me go only after returning to the hotel.I found all the gauze applicators in the suitcase, as well as Lin Qiu and my medicine.I put that photo album at the bottom of the suitcase. I don’t plan to read it for a few days. I need to relax and let him read it with me when I go back.

Having spent more time with Lin Qiu, I have consciously controlled my emotions, tried not to look at things that make my mood fluctuate, and look for interesting things to play with every day. He thinks that the more interests I have, the more distracted I will be. I'm better off being busy than staying at home.He said that I would talk more during the manic period, and I would have a strong desire to express, possess, and even be sexual.I felt that I didn't do anything to him, and it really made me blush when he looked at me like that.But anyway, we are a couple, so it doesn't matter.

I secretly looked at Lin Qiu's face. He was concentrating on wrapping me up with bandages. When I looked at him, I would often think about the body under his clothes, but normal people would also think about it. I don't think there is anything wrong with me.But when I think about the time when I just entered the A hospital, it must have been a little bit at that time.

"It's recovering pretty well."

Lin Qiu lifted my eyes after finishing my hand, and I still looked at him lustfully: "When can the stitches be removed, I want to go back to school to do the competition."

"What kind of eyes are you looking at? I'll take it apart a little later, in case you get cracked, and I'll take it apart if I can." Dr. Lin is really hard to discuss. "Don't think about going to a small clinic. If you mess around, I'll sew it up for you."

"...Are you still human..." I took off my coat and lay down on his lap, "Then can I wrap some thinner gauze to get it?"

"Okay, just wear gloves."

"No, it doesn't feel like wearing gloves."

"It's not that uncomfortable." Lin Qiu took my hand and joined his palm together, "It's wrapped in gauze, so I should be able to wear it. If you don't wear it, don't do it. It's just a prize, and it will be the same next time."

"It's not the same, this is very important." I turned over and touched my forehead on his waist, "It's just you making a fuss, a little injury is nothing."

Lin Qiu reached out and rubbed my face, "In my opinion, your hands are more important. If you are not careful, the scar will become bigger in the future."

"I only use my fingers." I felt a little guilty, thinking that it wouldn't change much.

"Well, let me help you take a shower, take off your clothes."

I swallowed, "You, aren't you unable to move?"

"Try not to lower your head, it's okay to shower you with a spray nozzle." Lin Qiu stretched out his hand to undress me with a straight face, and I jumped up and hung behind him, holding his neck to prevent him from seeing me.

"........."