Zero-sum game

A group of people broke up in a quarrel, Shen Yan and Zhou Xingchuan walked downstairs, neither of them spoke for a long while.

Shen Yan walked a little ahead, Zhou Xingchuan couldn't see his expression, he felt 1 regrets for bringing him here, hesitating how to speak.

At this time, Shen Yan suddenly asked: "Is there a school in front?"

It was quite late at this time, and there were few people on the road coming out of the building, and the surrounding street lights were not bright, so it seemed that a brightly lit football field not far away was particularly bright.

"Ah, it seems to be an elementary school." Zhou Xingchuan replied.

Shen Yan heard the words and walked over, the night wind blew the scent of green grass on the court, which made people feel very comfortable.

"The door here is open, let's go in and have a look." Shen Yan seemed not at all affected by what happened just now, and walked in through the side door of the stadium with great interest.

Zhou Xingchuan followed him in and walked down the steps to the football field.

Shen Yan walked a few steps, and felt the softness of the grass from the soles of his feet, and then sat down on the lawn in a relaxed manner, "It's really comfortable to stay in such an open environment."

Zhou Xingchuan also sat beside him.There were only the two of them in the entire stadium, because the large row of lights illuminating this side was too bright, and everything around them was hidden in darkness.

Shen Yan felt a little tired from sitting, so he simply lay down on the grass.

Zhou Xingchuan finally spoke at this moment: "I'm sorry, if I had known it was like that just now, I wouldn't have forced you to come."

"You don't need to apologize," Shen Yan said, "I'm not angry, after all, most of what she said is true."

The bright incandescent light in the distance hit Shen Yan's face, making him look too pale.

"..." Zhou Xingchuan said, "You didn't know the truth when you went there."

"Have you ever applied for a scholarship?" Shen Yan asked suddenly.

Before Zhou Xingchuan had time to answer, Shen Yan said: "You don't need to say that I know it, definitely not."

"In the first semester of college, I plan to apply. Two months of summer work and the money my mother gave me are barely enough to pay the tuition fee. I don't have a penny in my pocket in the first month of school. I can't think of anything other than applying for a bursary. There’s a solution.” Probably because the incandescent lamp was too dazzling, Shen Yan raised a hand to cover his eyes, “But I didn’t expect to write materials about how poor my family was, how miserable my parents were, and how much I had to write about my leadership and work. Read it in front of the students in the review team."

"At that time, I took a sneak peek at other people's family. They were all elders who died, were disabled, or had cancer. I thought to myself, I'm not so miserable, so let's forget it."

"So I missed a lot of classes in the first semester, and I didn't know the teachers who were missing non-professional classes. It was rare for me to go to the wrong classroom for a class.

What are you going to do when you are not in class?Do part-time jobs, any part-time job, if you don’t work this month, you will have nothing to eat next month.

I went to work part-time at McDonald's at the train station, and after the all-night shift, I went to professional classes the next morning. I still remember the National Day holiday. On the day of the National Day holiday, I probably drank thousands of Cokes, and I never looked up.When I went to a restaurant to work as a helper during the winter vacation, there was a dish that required small quail eggs, which were boiled and then peeled. They were easily peeled off. The boss thought that we should not waste them, so he asked us to eat the peeled ones. We had to eat ten eggs a day. A few quail eggs make me want to vomit when I hear these three words now.Once there was a party from the army, and I was in charge of the private room. The toilet was full of vomit, and I had to wipe it with a rag... When I went to tutor the children, the child who was mischievous threw ink all over, and the tutor's money was returned. Not enough for me to buy clothes...

I don't participate in school activities, I haven't joined a club, and I change various part-time jobs.Later, I became a fashion model, and a senior I knew there told me that it was too stupid to do these jobs. I was so busy that I didn’t even have time for class.

Things in Zaixiang are easy, and boss Chen also gives me a lot of money. I go to write twice a month, which is enough for my living expenses for two months.

There's no such thing as pie in the sky, there's something wrong inside, I can feel it.However, I am so happy to be able to live a university life like the people around me.I can go to every class, I can catch up on sleep on rest days, and I can go to the library to read books after class. I was selected as the male second in the four-faculty joint exam, and I have to rehearse and prepare for the final exam. I don’t have time to do other part-time jobs. ..."

"I'm sorry, I don't know these things..." Zhou Xingchuan whispered, but he couldn't say anything except this slightly pale sentence.

Shen Yan took down that hand and covered his aching stomach, "You don't need to apologize, and I didn't mean to make you feel guilty, it's just... just I want to say that some choices are not what I want to make , I had to do it."

"You and your friends can't understand that this kind of choice is normal. After all, we have different positions." Shen Yan slowly stood up, "How should I put it, thank you for lending me the place to live, and letting Wu Shuyu accompany you to act for me , I'm sorry, no wonder you know how to use his washing machine..."

Zhou Xingchuan stood up and stopped in front of him, "Because I really want to help you, I don't care about any different positions, you can accept Tian Xin's help, you can accept Wu Shuyu's help, why can't I?"

Shen Yan stared at him for two seconds, then suddenly lowered his head and said, "I don't understand either, maybe I don't want to owe you anything."

"But I want you to owe me," Zhou Xingchuan forced him to look at himself, "Shen Yan, let me just say it, you should have felt it a long time ago, whether you think so or not... Anyway, I want to do it for you Do something, I want you to be by my side, no matter what difficulties, I want to face with you, I want to stand with you, I like you."

"...But I'm a man," Shen Yan stared at him straight, "You have a girlfriend before, you should have never been with a man before, you should think about it clearly."

"I've figured it out," Zhou Xingchuan said.

At this time, the lights of the stadium suddenly went out, and I don't know if it was the time to turn them off, or the person in charge of turning off the lights just remembered to turn them off now.

The surroundings suddenly became pitch black, Zhou Xingchuan couldn't see the expression on Shen Yan's face clearly, he could only hear his own heavy breathing.

"That's good."

In the darkness, Shen Yan's low voice suddenly came.

He finally waited until Zhou Xingchuan said it himself.He knew very well how Zhou Xingchuan felt about him, but he absolutely, definitely could not be the one who took that step first, he could only stand still and wait for the other party to approach him step by step.

There is no other reason, just because he was standing in the abyss, pulling the other party down and the other party down by himself are completely different things.

Hearing Shen Yan's answer, Zhou Xingchuan suddenly pulled him into his arms.

He thought he needed some time, wait a little longer, look at Shen Yan's attitude, and then pick a perfect time and a perfect place... But he just said it.

Shen Yan felt that Zhou Xingchuan's body was so hot that he was tightly pressed against him, and the warmth penetrated into his blood from his chest and spread to all his limbs.He put his hand lightly on Zhou Xingchuan's back, and also hugged him.

Zhou Xingchuan looked at Shen Yan through the faint light of a street lamp in the distance, and then kissed him lightly.

This feeling of being so cautious and innocent made Shen Yan feel a little funny, and he asked: "Is this enough?"

These words were provocative, Zhou Xingchuan pressed his forehead and gave Shen Yan a long kiss.

Shen Yan's heart, which was as calm as a lake at night, finally had waves.All along, he seems to be an overly indifferent person, he has no special love for anything, and he has no attachment to things—until he met Zhou Xingchuan.

The surroundings were too quiet, and the night wind was like a tidal wave carrying chills from all directions, and his hand holding Zhou Xingchuan tightened even more.