Reborn in my brother's body

"Brother Okamoto..." Toru's mouth lost his voice after calling out the name.

In the empty venue, Okamoto was dressed in black, with dust on his sad face.

He nodded at Che, then turned his gaze to the altar.

He didn't come any closer, as if he couldn't get any closer, he just stared at the spot for a while, then straightened his clothes, and bowed deeply and long to Che's portrait.

"I'm still late."

Sitting in the last row of seats in the venue, Okamoto's deep and husky voice sounded like he was confessing.

Turning his head and looking at Okamoto's side face buried in the shadows, he couldn't think of what to say to this man who entrusted all his love when he was young.

"Jin, I'm sorry." Okamoto raised his head, didn't look at him or the altar, but stared at the air with a little lax eyes, "I lost my composure, I just... I kept thinking about what happened before us on the way here , In a blink of an eye, it has been four years."

What Okamoto said slowly belonged to the memories of the three of them, and he knew that Okamoto didn't want to sort out anything, he was just trying to vent the backlog of soreness in his heart in such a way.

The two of them just sat side by side, one talking and the other listening, as if the air condensed and time paused, as if they were disconnected from the world outside the door.

The four years in Okamoto's mouth refers to the time he left, and the three of them met ten years ago.

Toru still clearly remembers his first meeting with Okamoto.

It was a peaceful early autumn afternoon, and Che followed Jin and ran all the way home from the stadium. They were rushing to tell their mother the news of victory, but as Jin pushed open the door, he shouted loudly, "Mom, we won!" It's gone." Che stopped in front of his own door.

He saw a tall and thin elder brother, dragging a suitcase in one hand and holding a post-it note in the other, checking the house number of his house.

"Little brother, is this the Tamiya family?"

He couldn't remember whether he nodded or said something at that time, but he branded Okamoto at that moment in his heart, the pure white shirt, the outline trimmed with gold rims by the sun, and the warm and smooth voice like hot chocolate.

Later, whenever he mentioned that day, Jin would always say that he saw Okamoto first, and he ran ahead, so naturally he saw it first, and this reason sounds very good.

Toru never opened his mouth to argue, but he always believed in his heart that he was the one who saw Okamoto first.

Ten years ago, Toru was only ten years old. At that time, he was still too young to know what liking was all about.

Facing this eldest brother who is boarding in their home because he is studying, he was shy by nature and only cautiously showed friendliness at first.

But in a family without a father, at that age, Che has always longed for the love and care from his elder brother.

For Toru, the appearance of Okamoto can be said to be just in time.

Perhaps this is how people feel. At first, they were tempted and dared not approach, and moved closer inch by inch. When they came to their senses, that person had become a part of their life and could no longer be parted from it.

In Che's heart, Okamoto is like a scarf in the cold winter, like a breeze in summer, plain but necessary, beautiful but not sweet, so he can't help but want to get close.

But as he grew older, the ignorant affection for every step gradually turned into a deliberate avoidance after enlightening his mind, because he didn't know what he was like in the heart of the person he valued so much.

"Toru in my memory is always smiling, which makes people feel very warm." Okamoto's voice was very soft, as if he was afraid of disturbing the person in his mouth, "At that time, I could hear your voice all day long at home, But Che has been very quiet, he only laughs and shouts loudly when cheering for you, I still remember him wearing the team uniform and sitting with me in the audience, shouting cheers like your number one fan."

Although Toru also likes baseball very much, he played from elementary school to high school mostly to be with Jin.

Jin trained as a pitcher, and he also trained as a pitcher. He never thought that there was an ace pitcher like Jin in the team, and he might not even have a chance to play.

Maybe he didn't care about any chance to play at all, but he felt very happy just being with Jin.

Jin is his pride, but also his responsibility. Although he was only born 2 minutes earlier than Jin, and although Jin always called him by his first name, he still tried his best to play the role of an older brother like an adult.

It wasn't until Okamoto, the real elder brother, appeared in his life that he gradually revealed his child's nature.

He is not good at acting like a baby, and he is also very measured in clinging to people. The most outrageous thing he did was to sneak from the player's rest area to the audience with the coach behind his back during the game, and then he was called out again for cheering too loudly. The coach pulled back with a stick.

Every time Okamoto said this, he would show a distressed expression. He still remembered that Toru was taught a lesson by the coach.

But Che's selective memory only remembers that he was sitting next to Okamoto, cheering and applauding with that person for each of Jin's strikes, and excited for each of Jin's strikeouts.

In Toru's view, the so-called happiness is not standing in the middle of the venue with a halo above his head, but staying quietly beside the person he likes.

"What I miss the most is the appearance of your junior high school. Every time you won the ball, Che would always rush into my room immediately, hold my hand and describe your heroic performance to me without landing the ball. You You will lean on the door frame with your chin raised. After high school, you start to look like a star, and it won’t be written on your face if you win a game, and Toru..." Okamoto didn’t continue, and the light in his eyes dimmed a bit.

Toru knew what was hidden in Okamoto's unspoken words. The year when they just entered high school was a watershed in their relationship.

At the age when love first started, Toru gradually discovered that besides his brother's dependence on Okamoto, he also developed a different kind of affection for Okamoto.

That kind of emotion makes him feel panic and helpless, isn't that right?What would Okamoto think of him if he knew?

The more he wanted to get closer, the more he was afraid that if he stepped over the boundary, he would lose even what he had, so he began to draw a line between the two of them.

He no longer rushes into that person's arms unscrupulously, no longer leans against that person's bedside to read manga to see Tianming, he even carefully hides his eyes, and even keeps a safe distance from being noticed when peeking.

In the beginning, Okamoto would joke around the dinner table, "Once in high school, Toru and Nishiki became big kids."

Later, facing Toru's deliberate avoidance, Okamoto would occasionally show a helpless and sad expression.

It's not that Okamoto has never tried to repair the relationship between the two, but his efforts will always be ineffective on Toru. Seeing Toru lower his head and run away like a frightened little animal, Okamoto gradually developed a feeling of anxiety. A deep sense of guilt.

So after six years of medical studies, Okamoto resolutely chose to study in the United States.

When we parted at the airport, Okamoto gave Toru and Kam each a hug with mixed feelings.

What he left to Jin was a message: "Jin, you will definitely realize your dream of playing in the major leagues. I am waiting for you in the United States."

And what he left for Che was just a smile, that warm smile just like when we first met contained a thousand words.

Okamoto actually had a lot of things to say in his heart, but he didn't say anything, just because he felt that it was still early, and just because he felt that there must be opportunities in the future.

But he didn't expect that that smile was actually the last memory he left for Che, and what Che left for him was the cold photo on the altar, apart from the sweet and bitter years.

Seeing the sad expression on Okamoto's face, Toru almost blurted out the feelings that were buried in his heart, but in the end he didn't do that, but imitated Kam's tone, and asked lightly: "Brother Okamoto, Are you planning to live permanently when you come back this time? Or do you want to go back to the United States immediately?"

"The course over there is actually over. I originally planned to go back to China. My father is getting old. He keeps urging me to go back and help him take care of the hospital. But before I go back to my hometown, I should stay here to deal with some things. The fact that it is so surprising, if you want to talk to someone, feel free to contact me."

Toru was lying in the dark room, holding the hotel business card that Okamoto left him in his hand, unable to close his eyes for a long time.

【Che, he still likes you. 】

[Jin, what did you say? 】

[I said, just like you have never forgotten Brother Okamoto, he has always liked you, before and now. 】

[Don't talk nonsense. 】

【Che, don't forget that we are twin brothers, even if you don't tell me, I can tell that you like him.It's just because you like him so much that you don't realize that he likes you too. 】

[I just treat him as a big brother. 】

【You can be stubborn, but even if you can fool everyone, you can't fool yourself. 】

Toru decided to sleep to isolate Jin's interference, but Jin fell silent after that sentence.

He was the only one left in the room, and the darkness and silence created an excellent atmosphere for recalling the past.

Jin was right, he could fool everyone but not himself.

He always thought of Okamoto in his heart, and he would choose Wuji, mostly because Wuji had the shadow of that person when he smiled.

But what was buried deeper than that feeling was the reason why he flinched back then. He never mentioned it to anyone. Half of it was because he was afraid of Okamoto's rejection, and the other half was because of Jin.

The love for the same sex is an unspeakable taboo in the heart of a half-grown child, and the object is the eldest brother he respects and admires. This reason is enough for Che to bury the secret in his heart.

But for Toru, he has another identity, that is Jin's elder brother.

As Jin said, they are twin brothers. Although baseball talents are distributed unevenly among them, they have the same face, the same body shape, and naturally they may have the same emotions.

After Toru realized this, he observed it carefully for a while, and the increasing frequency of Jin's appearance by Okamoto's side made him seem to have some kind of confirmation.

No matter who chooses, everyone should prefer the shiny brocade.

The moment this thought came into being, Che unexpectedly didn't feel sad in his heart, those two were his deeply loved people.

So he chose to quit on his own initiative, because he has long been used to taking the happiness in his eyes as his own happiness.

Jin's words shocked him. He didn't know that Jin liked girls until after Okamoto left, but if Jin didn't mention it, he might never know that Okamoto liked him for the rest of his life.

But now that I know, what can I do?

Faced with a situation that was a hundred times more complicated than four years ago, Che tried his best to figure out a clue, but after thinking about it for most of the night, it seemed that there was only one thing that was clear, that is, two days later, he would stand on the spot where he collapsed again. On the field, participate in the trial training of the R team.

The author has something to say:

Baseball Knowledge Lecture is here for the third time~

About the strike: A strike is simply a ball thrown into the strike zone. The strike zone does not have a fixed size. It is a columnar area with the pentagon of the home plate as the base and the height of the column. To put it simply, it is the distance from the batter's knee to the armpit.So, bigger players have a bigger strike zone, and smaller players have a smaller strike zone.For a rookie like me, even if Yao Ming were to be the hitter, I might not be able to hit the strike zone, but professional players can handle the ball extremely accurately, which can be said to be where they hit.

About strikeouts: strikeouts are a way of getting out, which refers to a batter who is out of the game by throwing three strikes (of course, the batter can't hit it).In baseball records, if a hitter is struck out, it will be marked as a K, so a strikeout hitter is sometimes called asking him to eat an old K.While there are many ways a game can knock out a batter, strikeouts are my favorite because they showcase a pitcher's overwhelming dominance.